Locker Room Destruction

"I'm bored," Jeff complained. He was chewing on a piece of his hair and looking at the others expectedly. "Somebody needs to entertain me."

"Entertain yourself," Matt said. He was trying to read a magazine.

"I can't entertain myself!" Jeff whined. "It's better when somebody does it for me."

"Slinky, slinky, everybody loves a slinky," Shawn sang. "Slinky, slinky, everybody loves a slinky." He stopped singing and looked at Hunter. "You didn't buy me a slinky like you were supposed to."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because I bought myself the new Guitar Hero game instead. Jeez Shawn, you act like I WANT to buy you crap."

Shawn sighed. "Well what am I supposed to do now? I'm as bored as Jeff is!"

Jeff grinned. "Wait a second, I just got an idea."

"Oh God no," Matt groaned.

"Quiet you!" Jeff took the magazine from Matt and threw it to the ground. "This is going to be fun. We're going to be the Destructors."

"The what?" Hunter asked in confusion.

"Jeff no," Matt objected. "I don't want to be a Destructor. Every time we do that, things get broken, people get pissed, and we get in trouble."

Jeff just grinned. "Well duh Matt, that's the point. God, you are so naïve sometimes." He looked at Shawn and Hunter. "The only thing you have to do to be a Destructor is destroy things."

Hunter snorted. "Well hell, we're good at that." He got up and put his arm around Shawn. "We've been doing it for years."

Shawn glared at him. "You're not allowed to touch me until you buy me a slinky."

Jeff plopped down on Matt's lap and pouted at him. "Please play with us Matty? I'll be sad if you don't."

Matt sighed. "Fine, but if we get in trouble, I'm letting you take all the blame."

"Okay!" Jeff agreed. He got off of Matt and started heading to the door. "Let's go guys! We need to start right now!"

"Hold on a second," Hunter ordered. He grabbed his sledgehammer and held it up in the air. "NOW we can go."

The four friends went out into the hallway. Hunter immediately took his hammer and started hitting anything within his reach. Jeff took a bottle of spray paint out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Matt before throwing his own body around in an effort to break stuff. Meanwhile, Shawn decided to go with an old standby and super kick anyone in his path.

"It's a super kick, super kick, it's super kicky yeow!" Shawn sang as he kicked every innocent bystander unlucky enough to be in his way.

Matt started spray painting things on the wall. At first he was just doing random patterns and stuff, but then he decided to get a little creative with it. "Hmmm….I should see if I can paint me kicking Jeff's ass," he said to himself. "That would look really good right there."

Jeff heard him and started to laugh. "Good luck with that Matty," he said as he overturned a table. "You suck at painting. It's just going to look like crap."

Matt glared at him. "How about I spray paint you in the eyes? How would you like that?"

Rey Mysterio walked by at that point. "What the hell are you guys doing?" he asked.

"Kicking you in the face," Shawn said innocently. And that's what he did before poor Rey could fully process that piece of information.

Hunter frowned. "I don't think it's politically correct to kick a midget in a face."

"Well when have we ever worried about being politically correct?" Shawn asked.

"Good point."

Jeff kicked open a door to one of the locker rooms and found himself running into Legacy's locker room. "I kill you!" Jeff yelled as he speared Cody. He got back up and started hurling himself all around the room, scaring the shit out of Ted and Randy. "I kill you! I kill you! I kill you!"

"What the fuck is he doing?" Ted whispered to Randy.

Randy shook his head. "I don't know. Just back away slowly and avoid eye contact. You're screwed if you make eye contact with him."

"Aw, you don't want to make eye contact with me?" Jeff asked. He sounded like he wanted to cry. "Why not? I have pretty eyes. Do you want to touch them?"

"No!" the two remaining members of Legacy said.

"Can I touch yours then?"

"No!"

"Too bad! I'm going to anyways!"

As Jeff began to chase them around, Hunter was still destroying things with his hammer, Matt was failing to make a good picture with his spray paint and Shawn was still kicking people. But there was one thing they had forgotten in their quest to be the ultimate Destructors. They had forgotten who really ran the locker room, and what he could possibly think about all of this.

"What the hell are you idiots doing?" Undertaker yelled. He came out of his dressing room and he did not look happy. "Why are you always pulling this crap when I am in a bad mood? Do you have a death wish or something?"

Hunter, Shawn and Matt looked at each other. "Uh…maybe," Hunter said with a shrug. "But only if we get to be like cool vampires or something."

Shawn gasped. "Don't give him ideas!" he whispered to his best friend. "He'll destroy us if you give him too many ideas!"

Jeff stopped chasing Randy and Ted and walked up to Undertaker. "You have very scary eyes," he said. "Can I touch them?"

There was a long pause as everyone watched Undertaker stare at Jeff. The Deadman finally just sighed and pulled out a dollar. "Just go get a thing of Skittles and leave me the hell alone," he ordered.

Jeff took the dollar and grinned. "Yay! I got a dollar! I win the game of Destructors!"

Matt threw down his spray paint can and sighed. "That's it, I hate painting. I suck at it."

As Matt stormed off and Jeff went to go get his Skittles, Shawn turned to Hunter. "Well we're all alone again. I think you should go buy me the Slinky I want now."

Hunter sighed. "Will you shut up if I do it?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Let's get your slinky then."