A/N: Chapter Three. I call this "the turning point" because in Chapter Four, some things are revealed that lead to a lot of big changes. Of course, it also sets up the rest of the story, but I like to be dramatic. Getting this story off the ground has been difficult, because I've had the worst case of writers block imaginable, and that is why this story is two days late. Regardless, it's here, and I hope you guys like it. Please, review. Nothing hateful, but if you have CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, i'll he happy to take it on board. Oh, and by constructive I don't mean you can bag me out. Thank you. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.

Chapter Three: Dazed and Confused

Kurt and Nick sat in the courtyard, laughing about something that Jeff had done the other night after their Warbler rehearsal had ended. Since the beginning, there had always been something different about their friendship. He and Nick were brothers, in the same way that Kurt and Finn were brothers. They were close, more than family, but still able to tell each other the truth, no matter how harsh it is. Kurt likes that he can have that kind of relationship with Nick. When Blaine and Jeff join them after their class, the four of them settle down to work, enjoying the sunshine, on this nice warm Ohio day, which will forever be imprinted in their minds. Kurt is leaning against Blaine, shoulder's touching, and he wonders what it would be like to be like that with his boyfriend. He and Nick have talked about Nick and Jeff's relationship… not in detail, but Nick has always been open to talking about things if Kurt wants to. He's not afraid to help out in that department, but Kurt is too afraid to bring it up, and even though he knows Nick means well, he can't help the blush that spreads over his face every time the subject is jokingly brought up, or even deliberately brought up. Wes has noticed this, and constantly likes to tease Kurt, by making innuendo's about his relationship with Blaine. Somehow, they just roll off the Lead Warbler, but Kurt seems to be unable to fathom the idea that Wes is messing with him. He doesn't seem to be able to take the joke, which annoys him, because he so wants to be able to say something back that is witty and smart, and would leave them all speechless. But he has faults, and one of them is sex, and he won't be the first to come out and say it, but he knows that when he and Blaine do reach that point in their relationship, that he wants to be ready. One hundred percent ready.

Nick silently texts Kurt as they split to go to their afternoon classes. This is the only class that Kurt has without Blaine, Nick or Jeff. He has other Warblers in the class that he's friends with, but they don't get along as well as he does with the others. Mostly because Kurt doesn't really talk much during class, unlike them. Yet, Elijah and Emmanuel seem to have a tendency to make Kurt want to break the rules and talk out loud like they do. Regardless of what would happen, if he were to get sent to the principal, it wouldn't be anything different than when he was sent to Figgins' office when he was back at McKinley. He and Nick have a strange language that they made up when they were ten, which only they can understand. They shorten sentences, and make up different meanings for words, so they can talk in code around other people. Blaine has caught on to some things, but he still stares at them like they have two heads when he hears them doing it in public. It's what happens when you're friends with someone, for as long as Kurt and Nick have been friends. He chuckles to himself, puts his phone on silent, and turns to face the front of the room. He's in Psychology at the moment. It's a useless subject, according to David, but Kurt seems to enjoy it. If he doesn't want to end up at NYADA, he knows that there are plenty of good Law School's in New York, or even Fashion Courses he could take. He really hasn't decided yet. He's still deciding whether or not he should take the year off and try to find his mother. Okay, so maybe he's taking Psychology for all the wrong reasons. Maybe he wants to be able to get into his mother's head, and deduce what she left them all those years ago. Maybe a part of him, wants to understand the logic behind his father's behavior after she vanished off the face of the earth. According to Burt Hummel, his wife is legally dead. Kurt wants to believe she's out there, but a small part of him thinks that maybe she is really dead. Maybe she just doesn't want to be found.

That night, when Blaine announced that he and Wes had decided to run a late errand and go to his parents' house, Nick opted to stay back with Kurt and study, mostly because they had an English paper due at the end of the week, and he knows that without Kurt's help he'll never get it done. So Blaine, pouting, quickly kisses Kurt, before following Wes out of the common room and over to the parking lot. They haven't had a moment to just be without the Warbler's since school started back up, and Nick knows that Kurt misses the nights they would just hang out and watch movies, or play basketball, or video games. He can't imagine them ever doing anything else than this, and part of him wants to lock this version of his brother up and never let him out, but he knows Kurt better than that. He knows that Kurt has his reasons for not going with Wes and Blaine. They decide to go back to the library to work on their respective papers for English, laughing along the way about the ridiculous notion of Wes ever picking a song for the Warblers to sing, that would involve them wearing anything else, than the blazers they have to endure every day. Nick sometimes admires Kurt, for his individuality, and when they go out on weekends, after Jeff, Kurt is the next person he would trust to give him fashion advice.

'Do you want to go to the fair this weekend Kurt? I know Jeff and Blaine mentioned something about it earlier, but I know that it depends on a lot of things. They're going to have stalls, and rides, and I think there's a photo booth…'

'I have to ask you something. How long, were you and Jeff together before you guys…. Had sex?' Kurt asked, blushing at the word, and even more so when Nick smirked

'We were together about four months before we decided, mutually, that we were ready. There isn't a time limit on these things Kurt. If you're not ready, Blaine will understand… and if he doesn't, I'll kick his arse, and I'm sure Finn will join me,' Nick replied, flipping his text book open to the correct page

'This is confusing. All these feelings… what happened to the old days when we were eleven, and thought that rocks and bugs and basketball were the best things in the world?' Kurt asked, chuckling slightly with Nick, who grinned, remembering all the times they had gone down to the creek at his grandparent's house to find mammals.

'We all grow up eventually Kurt… things become difficult. You just have to decide if you're doing it for the right reasons,' Nick replied, before turning his full attention back to his work

Kurt debated internally with himself for the next couple of hours, whilst trying to work on his assignment. In the end, he gave up on working, and came up with a pro/con list of reasons why he was ready, and wasn't ready, to take the next step with Blaine. The biggest thing on that list, was the fact that Blaine didn't know about his mother, or his life growing up, or that he and Nick had been friends for longer than the time he's been at Dalton. Of course, it would be easy to just tell him everything, he's the best person in the world to talk to, but Kurt always gets emotional when he talks about his past, and he wants to understand it, but without understanding it, he can't tell Blaine. Don't get him wrong, he wants to tell the Warbler everything then why don't you Kurt? If you can't understand it on your own, maybe Blaine can help you to… he thought to himself as he stopped for a moment, looking out at the rain falling outside the window. In the middle of his thought train, he didn't notice that Nick had gotten up and left, leaving a note on top of his book. Usually, he would hit him lightly over the head, and remind him to be back in the dorm room by eleven, but he must have known that Kurt was thinking hard, because he either didn't hit him, or Kurt was so preoccupied, that he didn't feel it. Either way, he must have been sitting there for a long time. Regardless, he knew that the only way to get his feelings to become clearer, was to talk to Blaine, and he couldn't do that tonight. He would have to wait until the Lead Warbler returned with Wesley, and even then, he doesn't know how he's even going to broach the subject. After all, Blaine only knows that his father is married to Carole, and that Finn is his step-brother, but he doesn't know that Carole isn't his biological mother, nor the reason that his bio mother doesn't contact him. You're going to have to tell him Kurt… it's the only way… his conscience told him, and he groaned, resting his head on his arms on top of the table…

When they were thirteen, Kurt decided he wanted to try something new, something they hadn't done before. Nick had been worried about his best-friend for a while, and starting highschool was going to be difficult for them both, because Kurt was going to McKinley and Nick was going to Dalton Academy, an hour away from each other. Which is why this suddenly rebellious streak that Kurt was in, was surprising. In the seven years he's known Kurt, he's never seen him like this. The other day, he found him bleeding on the floor of the bathroom in his parents' house. Kurt promised that it wasn't anything to be worried about, that he'd just cut himself accidently being an idiot with scissors, but Nick knew that it was something else. He knew that his friend was having a hard time with everything, especially coming up to his mother's birthday. Burt had been avoiding the topic all together, and whenever it would be brought up, the mechanic would sigh, and change the subject. This kind of annoyed Nick, who was hoping that he could get them to talk about it. His mother always says that talking about pain can help to ease it, but Kurt and Burt don't talk a lot these days anyway. Kurt comes home, says hi to his father, and then locks himself away in his room, doing endless searching for a woman who clearly doesn't want to be found. But of course, Nick doesn't say that, even when they're riding their bikes towards the lower end of Lima, where the jumps are that they've never tried before, and where he knows that some of the other kids hang out. Kids like Noah Puckerman, who has a reputation for being a bully, and a downright delinquent. Nick is surprised that he even knows what that word means. Regardless, he follows Kurt without a word, and when they reach the bike park, Kurt grins manically, and calls out that he's going to meet Nick there. The taller of the two just watches from the top of the hill, as Kurt speeds away from him, heading for a death trap that could end up with him breaking something. He's definitely telling someone about this.

After they finish their first day of school, Nick and Kurt meet at the Lima Bean like they always do, and talk about their days. Kurt talks about how terrible life is at McKinley, and Nick talks about how he met this guy, Jeffery Ryan, who he thinks might be one of the cutest guys he's even seen. He misses the inflection in Kurt's eyes, as he looks away from Nick. They had never been shy to one another about their sexual orientation, but obviously, unlike Dalton, McKinley isn't as accepting as it should be, and Kurt has been forced to hide himself away. They've only been at school one day, and already, Nick can tell that his best-friend is falling deeper into this black hole that has been dug since the age of six. Kurt can honestly say that he loves Nick, but only like a brother. He's not jealous of the fact that Nick has a crush on someone, he's just jealous of the fact that Nick can have a crush on someone, without it being a big deal. He knows that if his father had the money, he would be at school with Nick, but because he lives in a one parent income household, he has to suffer through William McKinley Highschool, alone for four years… after that he plans to find his mother. Of course, when he tells Nick this, the other boy splutters, almost dropping the coffee in his hand, and looks at Kurt like he's just told him that he's sick or something. It hasn't ever been brought up, except for that time that Kurt ran away, that he would have any notion of finding his mother. Nick always thought he'd accepted it. Clearly, he's been wrong.

'Why Kurt? Your mother left you, why do you want to find her?' Nick asked

'I want to know why. Isn't that reason enough?' he asked, voice squeaking from his higher register, to his lower… ah puberty…

'No Kurt, it's not reason enough. I don't want you to think about this anymore. She's gone, and it's time to start accepting that. I have to go, I have a rehearsal for the Warblers this afternoon. I'll call you tomorrow,' Nick replied, standing and hugging Kurt, before leaving the café and Kurt alone

'Who are the Warblers?' Kurt asked to no one in particular, pulling out his phone to tell his father that he's going to be late home…

Blaine was the one who found him, asleep in the library the next morning, text book still open to his pro/con list, which luckily, he woke up before Blaine could actually see. Kurt looked around at his surroundings, and then up at his boyfriend, who looked worried, as he stood, gathered his things together, and rubbed the remnants of sleep from his eyes, as he silently followed Blaine out of the library and back towards the dorms. He would never hear the end of how he fell asleep in the library from Wes and David. Nick would probably also give him some crap for it, but it was all in good fun. He knew from experience, that the Warblers were only serious, if it involved something that had happened, or a tragic family event. Even so, when he got back to his and Nick's room, and Blaine followed him inside, closing the door, he frowned, confused. Usually, Blaine wouldn't close the door if they were alone, because the Warbler's would make up ridiculous stories about what was going on behind that door, and they're better off not having to explain anything to the people who wouldn't believe them anyway. But something about this moment was different, because when Blaine spoke, it was with caution and worry in his eyes. Nick had obviously told Blaine that he too is worried about the countertenor, but Kurt didn't have the energy to come up with another lie, so he told Blaine the truth: that he was struggling with this English assignment, and seeing as Blaine was the top in their English class, could he help him out? Of course, the tenor said yes, opening the door, and moving to lie on his stomach on Kurt's bed, whilst the other boy went to change in the bathroom. Like he said, he's not sure what's going through his mind at the moment, but if anyone can help him get to the bottom of it, it's going to be Blaine.

Two hours later, and a short nap in between, Kurt finally finishes his English assignment, and moves to grab some of the snacks he and Nick have hidden in their room. If their friend's found out, they would have to share, and Nick loves his Cheetos. He loves them so much, that he has them under lock and key. He probably loves them more than Jeff. Blaine smiels when Kurt hands him a small Kit-Kat, and settles back on the bed, listening to the sounds of the rain on the roof. Their next period if Literature, and Kurt knows that it's one of his worse subjects. The only good thing about the class, is that apparently it's going to be interrupted by the introduction of their new teacher, and Drama liaison. Nick, Elijah and Blaine had all been trying to convince him to come back to the Warblers, but he's adamant that he's done with the group, that he wants to focus solely on his studies…and that's the truth… he does want to focus on his studies… but that doesn't mean he can't mess with Wes in the process. Besides, as the weekend gets closer, he realises that he's meeting the Anderson's, and he needs time to physically and mentally prepare himself for meeting Blaine's parents. When the bell sounds for their third class of the day, Kurt stands slowly, straightening his tie, and grabbing his books, following Blaine out of the room, and closing the door. He spots Nick and Jeff (who are also in his Literature Class… thank god) and walks with the three of them, before they drop Blaine off at his Intro to Physics class that their science teacher recommended the boy take for extra credit, even though he hates Physics. Regardless, when they enter their classroom, and take their seats, Kurt tunes in and realises that Jeff is still trying to get him to reconsider his leaving the Warblers. No regrets Kurt….

It's Nick who finds him that afternoon, sitting in the park they used to frequent when they were younger. He has another boy with him, not Jeff (which is surprising because they've been attached at the hip since they started dating a year ago), who Nick introduces as Blaine, lead singer for the Warblers. Kurt doesn't bother to greet the other boy, he just shakes his head, and turns to walk off, only stopping when Nick grabs his arm, whispers something to him, and forces him to turn back to Blaine, who just grins happily, extending his hand for Kurt to shake. Mercedes would take one look at him, and say that he already has a crush on this boy, but he knows that it's not true, because for so many years, he's had people telling him what he can and can't do, who he can and can't love, and why it's wrong for him to be what he is, and somewhere along the way he started to believe it, locking away all the feelings that came back to the surface when he shook hands with Blaine. Rachel, of course, screams bloody murder and reprimands him for conversing with the competition, to which he ignores, leaving the choir room, to the annoyance of most of the Glee Club, but he doesn't care. He comes to this park, and he texts Nick, and it's just one of the things he can do to keep in control of himself, but he never expected his best-friend to show up with Blaine. When Nick explains to the lead Warbler that he and Kurt have been friends since they were five, Blaine looks at him like he finally understands, and Nick manages to squeak out that he always talks about the fun things they do on the weekends. Kurt smiles, nods and follows them over to the small picnic table near the swings, whilst listening to Nick and Blaine talk set-lists. Out of the corner of his eye, he's having a silent conversation with his best-friend.

Blaine shows up at McKinley a week later, with Nick in tow, to tempt Kurt with an offer he can't refuse. Finn and the other New Directions members are shocked to find out just what Kurt has been dealing with, and he silently wishes the world would swallow him up, and spit him out on the other side of high school. He still has senior year to contend with, and he can't afford Dalton, even though his father said that he and Carole will pool their honeymoon money into it, he still doesn't want to leave McKinley, he's finally gotten used to the fact that he's a human punching bag most of the time. But Nick makes him an offer that really, he'd be an idiot to turn down. Regardless, he goes home that night, tells his father that he doesn't want to move to Dalton, and goes up to his room, closing the door, locking himself away from the world, and sitting at his desk. His computer is filled with information about his mother. Where she could be, why she might have left, how he can find her… if anyone saw it, not only would he be seeing Dr. Zucker more than once a week, he'd been labelled as clinically insane for thinking that a woman, who has been missing for eleven years, if suddenly going to show up, and he's tried to think of Carole as his mother, tried to put the woman in that position, but he has things he wants to know… that he needs to know, and why should be have to sit by, and watch, whilst all the other kids in his year have two parents, and he only has one… biological anyway. He wants to know why she ran away, why she left him alone and why he can't have what all the others have… a normal family. If he'd opened his eyes long enough to see, he find that he does. A father, mother and brother. But regardless of the fact, he's Kurt… and he always obsesses. He closes the folder just in time, when his father knocks on his bedroom door.

'Nick told me what you said to him. Why won't you go to Dalton Kurt? It's safer, Nick is there, and you guys spend so much time together as it is, it would cost you less in gas…'

'I don't want to go to a school where I have to hide who I am from the rest of the world,' Kurt replied, all the whilst he was screaming LIE in his head

'Kurt, you can't show all of yourself now. If you go there, at least you can be part of yourself,' Burt replied, at a last ditch effort to get his son to the school

'Sure, I bet Dr. Zucker would agree with you,' Kurt replied, looking up at his father, who was just watching him, curious and sad 'fine, I'll talk to Nick,' he added, looking away, missing Burt's smile…. His son would be safe, and away from everything… he could find his ex-wife without having to worry about Kurt finding out… after all, his son has been through enough

Miss Lisa Price was the name of the new teacher at Dalton Academy, and regardless of what they say, most of the Warblers (minus the gay ones), were already talking about how fine she is. Kurt rolled his eyes when he passed Wes and David in the hall, talking to Ian and Riker about the new teacher, who would be joining them at National's this year. For a moment, it made Kurt want to reconsider his decision, just to make fun of them, but it's not like he doesn't see them all the time anyway. He's still a Warbler, he's just not an active one. Blaine took his hand as they walked to the cafeteria for lunch together, all the talk of the new teacher, was making him want to wash his brain out with soap, and he was finding it difficult to focus on what Blaine was telling him about their weekend with his parents. His phone chimed with a text from Nick, which made him laugh out loud, and Blaine frown.

TO: Kurt Hummel

;) Bet Wes is the first! ;)

FROM: Nick Duval

Blaine reads the text over his boyfriend's shoulder once they're seated. Of course, it's coded, but it could mean that Nick thinks that Wes will be the first one to hit on the new teacher, or something like that, but Kurt seems to understand completely what it means, and he's not smirking, so it can't be something dirty. His name is mentioned in Kurt's reply, and apart from that and a few other things, he doesn't know what they're talking about. It's driving him insane…

TO: Nick Duval

Blaine should, but he knows. I thought you would, I know Jeff did. :p

FROM: Kurt Hummel

Kurt tucks his phone back into his pocket, and turns to find Blaine frowning at his food, looking like the potato offended him somehow. He takes the Lead Warblers hand, and presses a soft kiss to his cheek, smiling and turning back to where Wes and David are arguing over whether or not it would be ethical to ask Miss Price if she's willing to take one on one classes with the boys. He still can't see the attraction with girls. What's the big deal about them? He and Nick used to ask people this all the time, their whole Freshmen year was spent debating why girls were so important to straight guys. They didn't get that fussed over boys, even though they probably should have been, according to some people. In the middle of his mental tirade, Blaine, Riker, Nick and Emmanuel had gone over to see what the commotion was in the middle of the cafeteria, and Kurt was so encapsulated with himself, that he didn't even see the flying food, until he was hit in the back of the head with a piece of broccoli. Blaine looked over at him, apologetic, and told Wes off, but the Head Warbler just smirked, before turning to help David up off the floor. A food fight isn't what they need right now, but the minute Elijah stood up, Kurt knew that's what would be happening, so he escaped the food throwing path before he was caught in the center, and managed to get Blaine, Nick, and Jeff out with him. They stood, watching whilst the pristine Cafeteria was turned into a food fight playground, before they turned and left, heading to the Dean's office. No doubt the Warblers would be getting in trouble, and he's kind of glad that he's not a part of the group now.

Kurt woke up, chest heaving, sweat running down his face. Nick was still fast asleep in his bed across the room, and the light was shining from the moon outside. The window was closed, but Kurt managed to calm himself enough to stand and open it. Nick is usually awake when Kurt has a nightmare, but he mustn't've been whimpering or saying things out loud, in fact, he can't really remember it vividly like his other dreams, but something about it seemed so real. It was only then, that he realised that Blaine was asleep beside him, and he looked over to find, thankfully, that his boyfriend was still fast asleep, curled around Kurt's pillow that he'd obviously grabbed when he felt the emptiness beside him. Blaine had snuck in after Nick went to sleep, and they'd talked about stuff for a while, Blaine trying to convince Kurt to re-join the Warblers, and what was happening on the weekend, before they'd fallen asleep beside one another. It isn't the first time they've slept in the same bed, usually it's with a pillow between them, but tonight, Kurt let Blaine curl up to him. He took a step forward… but this nightmare… unlike his other ones… makes him want to take two steps back. But he realises that one thing is absolutely clear… that he has to tell Blaine what's happening, or he's going to end up where he was when he was twelve… only this time, he won't live to tell the tale. It's going to take a lot more than just yourself to find me… you're going to need a team… it was the voice that he'd heard in his head, and it sounded so familiar, but of course, Kurt wouldn't know the significance, until he opened himself up some more.

A/N: Next Chapter: Kurt and Blaine spend the weekend at the Anderson's, and Kurt finally tells Blaine about his past, which leads to some special moments between the two boys. The Warblers prepare to face the New Directions in a pre-national's practice run, in which Rachel and Finn share some surprising news about their futures. Nick and Jeff convince Kurt and Blaine to be the Warbler's "stand in couple" for their annual Worthington House Warbler Parade, and the rest of the Warblers (with some help from ND) band together to convince Kurt to re-join the Warblers. Flashbacks include Kurt's first day at Dalton, Burt discovering something about his ex-wife, and Finn learning the truth about why Kurt's without a mother. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.