Itchweeed and Shawn vs. the Fire

Shawn bounced his ball up and down as he walked along. He was trying to be very careful so it wouldn't hit his foot or anything else that would make it roll away from him. He had been with Hunter, but his longtime friend was being a grouchy pants because itching powder had been put into his wrestling trunks. "And to think that after all we've been through, he would actually have the nerve to accuse me of doing it," Shawn muttered in disbelief. "I mean, I know I actually did it, but that gives him no right to accuse me of doing it!"

"Yo boy that's a mighty fine ball! Where did you get that mother fucker at?"

Shawn jumped about a foot in the air as Itchweeed came out of nowhere. "What happened to Jeff?" he asked. "He owes me five dollars!"

"I know, that's why he brought me out," Itchweeed explained. He put his arm around Shawn. "He wants me to negotiate a new deal with you."

"What kind of new deal?"

"The kind where he doesn't actually pay you anything."

Shawn thought about it for about a minute before shaking his head. "Sorry Itchweeed, I actually kind of hate that deal. You'll have to tell Jeff that I want my five dollars or he's going to get kicked in the face and then I'll take it from his unconscious body."

Itchweeed looked around to make sure they were alone. "And then what else are you going to do to his unconscious body?" he asked in a knowing matter.

"Nothing you sick freak!" Shawn couldn't even believe that Itchweeed would ask him that. "Good grief dude, why would you ask me that? I'm not a sick pervert like Hunter."

"Yeah, but you hang out with him a lot," Itchweeed pointed out. "And sometimes people become more like each other by hanging out that much. Like back in 1675, I was hanging out with this witch, and after awhile, I could have sworn that I could do spells." He grinned. "In fact, if I try hard enough, I can still do spells."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "No you can't. You're just saying that to make yourself sound cool."

Itchweeed looked offended. "Hey man, don't be disrespecting my witch-y powers now! I could put a spell on you right here and now if I wanted to!"

Shawn sighed. "Okay, I'm just going to go away now. You are a grade A freak I don't need to be around right now."

"Oh hell no!" Itchweeed protested. He grabbed Shawn by the hand and dragged him out of the building. "You can't just doubt my witch powers and get away with it! I'm going to prove to you that I'm a witch!" He pulled Shawn over to a dried out looking bush. "Now watch this shit Shawnie." He took out a lighter and flicked it on. "Hocus pocus, pussy juice, weed eater and mother fucker boys!"

The flame from the lighter set the bush on fire and because it was so dried out, it didn't take long for the whole thing to go up in flames. "Holy shit!" Itchweed yelled. "Look what I did Shawn! Isn't that amazing?"

"No!" Shawn shouted. "That bush is on fire!" He put his hand on his head. "Oh God, what do I do? What do I do? Do I stop drop and roll?" He got down on the ground and rolled around. Then he remembered that was only what people who were on fire were supposed to do. "Damn it!" he said as he jumped back up to his feet. "Itchweeed, we have to put this fire out!"

Itchweeed nodded. "Okay!" He grabbed a stick that was nearby and started hitting the burning bush as hard as he could. "Take that! And that! And this! That!" Suddenly he pulled the stick back and started screaming. "Holy shit! The stick is on fire!"

Shawn sighed. He should have known better than to ask Itchweeed's help for this. "Hold on, I'll go find a hose!" he said. He took off running, but he didn't find the hose. Why the arena did not have a hose, he had no idea. He thought about going inside and looking for a fire extinguisher, but then he saw a fire hydrant that was a lot closer than that. "Itchweeed! We need to get water out of the fire hydrant!"

Itchweeed threw the burning stick on to the burning bush. "That's a great idea man! Come on, I know how to do just that!"

Shawn followed Itchweeed into Jeff's car. Itchweeed started it up and then drove the car right into the hydrant. The good news was that it busted open and water went everywhere, which put the bush out. The bad news was that they were going to get into deep trouble for that.

Itchweeed surveyed the situation carefully before speaking. "If anyone asks, the zombies did it, okay?"

Shawn nodded. "Okay." Zombies were an excellent excuse. They were dead and evil, so they would so totally do something like this. "You want to go tell everyone the zombies are on a rampage?"

"Sure. It's not like we have anything better to do boy."