A/N: This is the second chapter. Just to say thanks. I have been itching for weeks to write down the scene where Kurt finally finds his mother, and it's coming along nicely, which is why I couldn't really elaborate on it much in the flashback in this chapter. But stick around, because it's coming up soon. I hope I'm getting the places that everything right. I've researched as much as possible, but Google only goes so far. I don't want to offend anyone, so if I get any of the Americanisms wrong, please let me know. Thanks so much for favouriting, following and reviewing. I love you guys. Don't stop doing that though. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.

Chapter Eleven: … In Hind Sight…

Kurt was the first one up, and was already showered and dressed by the time the others had even thought about doing anything like that. He'd also already been out and brought coffee and food for everyone. Blaine was surprised that Kurt wasn't dressed in his usual attire, skinny jeans and odd shirt, instead he had on a baggy shirt, and jeans that were tight, but not skinny. Nick groaned at Kurt opened the adjoining door to their room, and began opening blinds, forcing them to get up, and get active. Jeff just watched as Nick and Kurt argued in their own language about the appropriate behaviour when it comes to waking people up, the negative side effects, and whether or not it's proper. Blaine showered and dressed, grabbing their bags and taking them down to the car, then heading back upstairs to their room, where they were waiting on Jeff, finding all of his things. Checkout is ten am, but they want to be gone by nine, and considering it's a three house drive, they can be in Springfield by twelve, if they get a good head start, and miss some of the traffic. Jeff has been making stupid jokes about the Simpsons all morning, and Nick has warned his boyfriend more than once, that he's not afraid to pull over and leave Jeff in the middle of nowhere should he not stop talking about it. This was most of their morning, and half an hour into their drive. Tomorrow they're changing drivers, but Nick wanted to get this part of the trip out of the way. If Wes were here, he would probably comment on how casual they all look, and how boring the car ride was, then he would proceed to annoy the shit out of all of them for the whole day. But thankfully, Wes isn't here, and they don't have to worry about the incessant annoyance. Blaine seems to have taken up that role, according to Nick, when he starts pestering them about the map, and itinerary, which he has been worried about the whole time. They hired the car in Ohio, and they're flying back from Colorado. He wants to know the specifics, but they haven't thought that far ahead yet, they're taking it day by day.

About an hour into the drive, Kurt gets a frantic phone call from Finn, who is worried about college, and not getting out of Ohio. Blaine watches his boyfriend try to control an obviously frantic Finn on the other end of the phone, by talking calmly, and trying to make him laugh. In Ohio, Finn is sitting in his room, staring around at all the crap that he has, and last night, had a dream that he ends up getting back together with Rachel, and then doesn't go to UCLA, remaining in Ohio forever, and he can't do that. He can't stay in Ohio. He loves his parents, and his friends, but he has to get out. This is what he frantically tells Kurt, who explains to him that he can't just up and leave that he has to talk to Burt and his mother about this, because they'll be devastated if they come home and find him gone. He agrees, and promises to talk to them, but explains that he'll be gone by the time they get back from their trip. Kurt makes him promise that he'll call, and try and come see him before the holidays, and Finn agrees, before breaking out into a spiel about them going to Springfield, and proceeding to tell him the plot from an episode of the Simpsons, and it's at that moment that Kurt hands the phone to Jeff, who spends the next twenty minutes having the dumbest conversation in the history of any conversation ever. When Jeff finally hangs up the phone, and turns in his seat to hand it back to Kurt, the countertenor is asleep on Blaine's shoulder, mumbling words that none of them can really understand. Blaine thinks it's adorable, sometimes when Kurt is asleep, he'll mumble words in another language. It's so normal, that when he wakes up and starts speaking in English, Blaine is almost afraid to tell him that he's been speaking in another language. But Kurt doesn't seem to remember much from dreams, or whenever he mumbles, only what he's told. Regardless, Blaine takes the phone, from Jeff as he turns to face the front again.

Finn is throwing things into bags, and pulling boxes he'd stored down from the cupboard when his parents get home, calling out to him, explaining that they have some exciting news. Reluctantly, and with his speech ready prepared in his head, Finn goes downstairs, and sees the samples of paint spread around the front porch from the open door. Carole grins at her son, pulling him into a hug, and Burt explains that they're going to spruce the house up a little after both he and Kurt leave for college. The tall boy sits down on the step and runs his hands over his face, looking up at both his parents, trying to convey his message with his eyes, but failing. Burt catches on to the fact that he's trying to tell them something, and suggests they go into the lounge and take a seat so that Finn has some time to compose himself. Carole agrees, and begins to go through all the things it could be in her mind. Is Rachel pregnant? Is he dropping out of going to college? Has something happened to his brother? Every possible scenario goes through her mind, and as she sits beside Burt and takes his hand, she can't stop thinking about these things. Finn joins them a moment later, sitting opposite them. He goes on to explain that he loves them very much, but he's been doing something thinking…. He can't stay in Ohio for the summer. Rachel is bugging him, and he knows if they get back together, he'll never leave. He knows that he can't be held responsible for whatever goes through his mind about his ex-girlfriend, and he explains that he just needs to be able to be on his own for a while. He has to leave for California now. Carole is stunned, she's not what she thought it was, and Burt has a kind of disappointed/proud look on his face. They both look at each other, and then at Finn, who isn't watching them, he's looking at the ground.

'Finn, if you think this is something you need to do, then we support you son,' Burt said, smiling when Finn's head shot up

'Really? I thought you'd be pissed that I'm leaving now,' Finn said, and noticed his mother's eyes widen a little

'When are you planning to leave?' Carole asked

'I booked a ticket for tomorrow afternoon. Mom, please understand. I love you both, really, but if I don't do this now, I know… I just know… that I never will. I can't be stuck here. I have to start living my life, and that's going to be in California,' Finn said, as his mother just hugged him tightly.

The next afternoon, Carole and Burt drive Finn to the airport, and watch as he boards the plane, waving to them, until he can't see them anymore. Puck isn't going to be there until school actually starts, because he's Noah Puckerman. Finn doesn't mind though. He's going to stay in a share house until school starts, and he moves into the dorms with Puckerman. Surprisingly, the school let them room together, and Kurt made to point out that if they get kicked out of school, it would be hilarious. Finn smiles as he thinks about his brother. He got a text from the boys, they're going to be in Springfield for the night, and then they're driving to Hays, Kansas. The plane ride continues, and Finn decides he's going to nap, save falling asleep when he gets to California. Burt and Carole, on their arrival back at their house, stop for a moment, and think about the silence, and how they're going to deal when Kurt also leaves in August, and moves to Brookline with, Blaine, Nick and Jeff. Burt tells Carole that he doesn't want their children to leave, that he feels like he failed with Finn, and Carole calls Kurt, who doesn't answer, because he's still asleep. Nick is getting restless, and with twenty minutes until they get to their hotel, he's feeling the pull of sleep that the other three are free to visit anytime they want. But he wanted to drive, and he's not stopping early, they can deal with all that later. Finally, at quarter to one, they arrive at the hotel, the Hilton Springfield, on East Adams St. Nick parks the car, and goes inside to check them in. Jeff has organised all their hotels in advance, so they don't have to worry about driving around to find somewhere vacant. Blaine wakes Kurt, who adorably paws at the tenor to let him sleep, and groans when Blaine tells them they've arrived, and if he doesn't wake up, he'll get Nick to throw water on him like that time in Warbler rehearsal. Reluctantly, and against every fiber of his being, Kurt wakes up, gets out of the car, and helps to carry their bags inside and up to their room. This time, they have one room, with two double beds. Nick had made a remark to the receptionist, that they wanted "Single" beds, but they didn't have rooms like that, so they had to have two doubles. He's just "playing the crowds" apparently. Kurt doesn't even know what he means by that, and he really doesn't care.

FLASHBACK

McKinley Plays Host to the Warblers

Rachel was the one who was freaking out the most. Not only had they lost Kurt to the Warblers, but now Mr. Schuester had invited them to McKinley, for a practice nationals run. Kurt had been in contact with Mercedes, who was telling him all the hilarity that was coming out of Rachel's mouth. Blaine was reading over his boyfriend's shoulder, as Miss Price turned the corner, and brought McKinley into sight. Kurt and Nick had sat together on the bus, mostly because once again, Jeff and Nick were fighting, and Kurt had to be the one to mediate the two, so Jeff had refused to sit beside Nick. Not that Kurt minded sitting beside his best-friend, just that he hates being in the middle of their arguments, and they're not fun fighting, when they're going to have to face Rachel Berry and the rest of the New Directions. Even Kurt had asked what Schuester was thinking with this was first brought up. I mean, they know what happens at National's, so is this something to see what songs they're performing, or do they genuinely want to practice whatever thing they have hidden away. Miss Price was way too excited about being at McKinley. She tried to get the Warblers pumped up, and Kurt noticed that they all moved closer to him as they walked through the school. They're going to stand out amongst the crowds, because they're in their uniforms, and they're not exactly blend able colours. William meets them at the entrance to the school, and Miss Price immediately starts flirting, fluttering her eyebrows, twisting a strand of hair around her finger, it takes all of his self-control for Kurt not to say something to their liaison. Schuester pretends to not notice, and leads them through to the choir room, Wes standing on one side of Kurt, David on the other, as people start to stare at them. They can hear Rachel before they see her. Kurt just chuckles, and walks into the room confidently, Blaine beside him.

'Rachel, what have I told you about those outfits. I go to school in Westerville now, I can't dress you anymore,' Kurt said, smirking as the New Directions ran over to him, pulling him into hugs, Brittany jumping on him, and it was lucky that he caught the blonde girl

'Kurt, it's good to see you, even if you did come with the competition,' Rachel said, smiling and hugging him

'Warblers, welcome to McKinley. Please, take a seat. We're going to get started straight away, and I want you all to play nice. We're not going to be talking about what songs we're doing for nationals, and I'm sure that the Warblers won't either. This is just a chance for us to have some fun,' Schuester said, and Kurt had forgotten his speeches

'Hey white boy, I want to meet your boyfriend officially after this,' Mercedes said, winking at Kurt, who just grinned at her

By lunch time, Wes and Mr. Schuester were almost like best-friends, which meant David was sulking. Sebastian announced to the group that he has been dating new New Directions member, Luke Kingsley for about six months, to which Kurt and Nick began whooping and dancing around with the other Warblers. Sebastian and Luke just laughed and joined in. Sue hadn't even been by to annoy them yet, and it was surprising, considering she admitted wholeheartedly that she adores most members of the Glee club. All in all, it was basically just one big chat session, until Finn whispered something in Kurt's ear, and the countertenor smiled. They began singing Shut Up and Dance. Finn has been obsessed with the song by Walk the Moon and decided that instead of telling them all to just shut up, he'd sing it, and Kurt danced with him, as they made their way towards the auditorium, the Warblers making up for the instruments, and the New Directions, marveling at the fact that Finn and Kurt can just be Finn and Kurt without anyone saying anything to them. Schuester was in the audience, watching with the rest of the New Directions, as the Warblers and Finn danced around, choreography be damned. When they finished, Finn decided to jump off the stage, and luckily landed on his feet. That had kicked off the karaoke sessions, with Schuester and Miss Price even performing a song, and then Santana blatantly pointing out to the Warbler's liaison that she had chosen a flirtatious song, to sing with their married Glee Club Director. Kurt marveled at how Miss Price kept her composure, regardless of her face turning beet red. Santana went back through the Glee Club archives to find performances that they had done together, back in the early days of Glee Club, and then told Blaine that he wanted the Warblers to perform Teenage Dream. Kurt took a seat in the audience, and winked at his boyfriend. Wes had to be bribed to perform the song. It was a good day. Strange, but good.

The four had decided to check out Knights Action Park. Apparently, it's a "once in a lifetime" thing, that Jeff just has to do. The worst thing, is that he took Blaine with him, and the two ran off like their parents had left them alone in candy land. Nick and Kurt just walked around, a couple of meters behind them, so people didn't think that the two immature eighteen year olds, acting like five year olds were with them. They found a bench, and sat down, hoping that eventually, both Blaine and Jeff would tire and they could go and do something else. Nick had been thinking about everything on this trip. His relationship with Jeff seems to have stalled, and when he mentioned this Kurt, he looked as though he was about to fall off the seat. They talk for a while longer, Nick voicing his concerns to Kurt, who makes Nick promise that he's going to talk to Jeff before making any life changing choices. He knows that Niff belong together, and he's only using their couple name because Wes has been texting him incessantly, calling him and Blaine "Klaine" and Nick and Jeff "Niff". The boy is an idiot… Kurt thought to himself, showing Nick the messages, hopefully to try and sway from the topic that they have found themselves in. Nick understands that Kurt doesn't like things to change, and that he would support him not matter what. Sometimes he hates that he can't just talk to Kurt without feeling as though he's being judged, and he can't do anything without Kurt disapproving. He knows how stupid that sounds too… Kurt will support you no matter what you chose but he's right… you have to talk to Jeff… Nick thought to himself, watching as their respective boyfriends found the concession stand. At the same time, he and Kurt both rolled their eyes, sighed, and then stood, making their way to the large building. Creepy that we're both so alike… actually not it's not… Nick thought, then proceeded to shake his head…

They hadn't been able to fit in most of the activities Nick had found, only because Jeff and Blaine had decided to spend their day running around the park like idiots, giving the actual five year olds a run for their money. When they finally got bored, they walked around for a bit, checking out some of the little bodega shops, and Nick told Kurt and Blaine that he and Jeff would go and get dinner, and meet them back at the hotel. Kurt gave Nick the 'talk to your boyfriend' look, and he nodded. Kurt and Blaine headed back towards their destination. Regardless of the time, Nick and Jeff head into a takeout shop, and grab some food, taking the time they're waiting for the order to have a chat. Nick expresses his concern that they're stuck in their relationship, not moving forward, just stuck on the same level they've been on for the last three years. Jeff just listened, shocked, as Nick talked. Of course, they can't stop one another talking by kissing, they made a judgement call that they're not going to use PDA on this trip, in case the run into less than friendly people. Also, half the time they don't know what is going on with the world. Regardless, Nick is stopped mid-sentence by Jeff taking his hand, and luckily they're out of sight of the proprietor. The revelation that Nick thinks they're stuck in their relationship shocks Jeff, who thinks that they're also stuck, but knows that breaking up isn't an option. Nick doesn't say anything else, they just get their dinner and head back to the hotel. The silence isn't helping, but they have another four/five days together, and it can't be weird. They will talk, but not right now. It seems like hours when they finally reach the hotel, in truth, it's only thirty minutes, and Jeff is babbling on about being worried that the food is cold. Nick smiles to himself, they're going to get through this.

They're in their hotel room, it's almost nine o'clock, and Kurt is pacing back and forth, Nick and Jeff have gone to get dinner. Blaine is trying to calm Kurt down, but he's babbling on about why he's been obsessed with finding his mother for the last thirteen years. Blaine is really lost on what to say. He has researched bipolar disorder, and begins to piece together little things. Kurt can get manic sometimes, and the mood swings vary from completely happy-crazy one minute to this manic, depressive state the next. They're in Illinois. It's not like they can just call it a day and drive back to Ohio, besides Kurt has to do this. He knows that deep down. He knows that if he doesn't, he'll be forever asking questions of himself. Blaine is so tempted to call Burt, get him to talk to his son, but Kurt stops pacing, turning to face his boyfriend, grabbing his shoulders, and asking what the hell they're doing. Blaine places his hands on Kurt's face, one either side, and kisses him on the lips. Enough to get him to relax a little, stop freaking out, and sit down. The countertenor puts his head in his hands, and then looks up at Blaine, who is just watching him patiently. Kurt hates that Blaine can do that. They should be arguing, fighting over this, debating whether or not Kurt needs help. Instead the perfect Anderson boy is just waiting for him to patiently come down from his freak out. How can I have landed Blaine? What did I do in a past life to be awarded such a wonderful person who loves me? Was it because my mother abandoned me? I don't believe in god, but maybe this is… well Mercedes would call it fate. In fact so would Nick… Kurt thought to himself, and frowned, looking over at Blaine, who just smiled at him. He moved over to the small table and chairs on one side of the room and sat down.

'Kurt, what is going on in that head of yours? Please, talk to me,' Blaine said, kneeling in front of him

'What are we doing Blaine? We're driving halfway across the country to find a woman, who doesn't give a shit about me. She doesn't care that she abandoned me when I was five. Doesn't care that I tried to kill myself, that I wonder whether or not I can do things, if I'm worthy of love. Why have I been so obsessed with finding her? What questions do I need answered so badly, that I can't just go online like a normal person?' Kurt asked, resuming his pacing, stopping when Blaine kissed him again, hearing the door open and seeing Nick and Jeff standing there. Something in Nick just snaps

'Calm down Kurt. You need to do this. You have to find her, if you don't, you'll wonder forever and that's not healthy. If you get it out of the way, you can work towards moving forward. That's why you're doing this. That's why you need this. To be able to move on,' Nick said from the doorway, Jeff holding the food behind him

'It's just… I'm tired. It's been a long day. Let's just eat,' Kurt said, taking the food from Jeff and moving over to sit on the bed he and Blaine were sleeping in.

FLASHBACK

Burt goes to see Elizabeth

He really didn't know what he was expecting when he knocked on the front door. Did he expect her to look like the person he married, or a completely different person? Of course she would be different, the years of drug abuse would make her different, but he still doesn't know what is going to happen when that door opens. He only has five seconds to contemplate it, and then the door opens, and standing in front of him, is his ex-wife, years older, but still the same in so many ways. Her eyes widen when she realises who is standing in front of her, and for a moment, Elizabeth wants to turn around and slam the door in his face, grab all her things, and run for her life, but she's grown a lot since she was twenty-eight. She steps aside to let Burt into her house, and closes the door, asking if he'd like something to drink. He doesn't say much, and she invites him to sit in the lounge. Burt just stares at her for a moment, but takes the offered seating arrangement. They sit in silence, it lasts almost twenty minutes, and then Elizabeth asks Burt how he has been for the last thirteen years. He suddenly feels rage boil up inside of him, and asks Elizabeth if he can speak his mind. Against her better judgement, the blonde woman agrees, and prepares herself for angry Burt. She hasn't had to deal with that for years, but she's had her share of arguments, and sooner or later, she kind of expected this. Burt stands, and paces for a moment, before turning to face her. He keeps his distance, which she appreciates, and then asks her why. It's just a one word question: Why? And it's like that covers every question he's ever had in his head. Elizabeth just looks at him for a moment, wishing that this moment wasn't happening. She knows the answer. She knows why she did what she did, why she left… why she almost took Kurt with her, and she wants to tell Burt that it was never her intention to take Kurt, but she can't make the words form.

Another moment passes, and two hours later, Burt is sitting with his head in his hands, still in the same seat she had offered him when he first arrived, and Elizabeth is trying to wipe the tears that had formed in her eyes. She had given him the answers he had wanted. She told her that Kurt deserves better, that her other son deserves better. She knows that. She knows that neither of her children deserved to see her like that. But what happened in the past doesn't change a thing, and everything that she had with Burt, she loved. He handed her a folder, told her it was filled with pictures of Kurt if she wants them, and she takes it. An hour after Burt has left the house, she sits at her desk in the study, and opens the folder. The first picture she sees, is of Kurt in a private school Uniform, standing in between two boys, grinning manically. She presses her hand to her mouth to keep herself from crying out loud. She does love her son. Really, she does. But she can't keep this folder of pictures. Can't form her own scenarios in her mind about what each picture represents. How Burt had managed to find her that was what had her worried. Why wouldn't Kurt be able to find her? If he does, what would she say to him? Elizabeth returns the picture to the folder, walks out to the lounge room, and throws the whole thing in the fire, before bursting into tears and curling up to herself on the lounger. She doesn't deserve to have pictures of her son in her house. She has one of Jared, but it's hidden in a folder and she doesn't look at it. Perhaps she should have kept one of Kurt, but she's worked so hard to let go of everything from that period of her life, she doesn't think it would be wise.

The following morning, when they're packed, and checked their itinerary, Blaine announces that it's his turn to drive. They're going to Hays, Kansas, but they're going to have a pit stop in Kansas City, which is a four hour drive from here anyway. Kurt doesn't say much as they get into the car, and prepare for their next stop on their trip, but Nick winks at his best-friend who kind of looks at him oddly. He and Blaine had gotten up early, before their boyfriend's, and gone and gotten breakfast and coffee. Blaine had told Nick that he's thinking about asking Kurt to marry him, either before, during or after college. Nick just hugged Blaine tightly, and made him promise that he would be absolutely sure before asking Kurt, because he doesn't need to be reminded of what would happen should he break the countertenor. Blaine had laughed. Nick had used the lull in conversation to talk to Blaine about where he thinks his relationship with Jeff is going. Blaine had been wonderful in advising him of what he and Jeff need to talk about, and how long they should wait before talking about it. Kurt gives good advice, but he lacks the emotional quota to help Nick with the problem he's experiencing. Regardless, Blaine convinced Nick that before he makes any choice, he needs to look at the bigger picture. Where does he see himself in five years? Is Jeff included in that picture? Do they need to take some time apart, in order to find themselves and if they belong together? This is what Nick thought about as they got back on the road, heading towards Kansas. Kurt, on the other hand, was flipping through the file that Nick had compiled for his father, and discovered that his mother had gone kind of crazy, off her medication, and gotten into some heavy drugs. The picture he has of her in his head, is now becoming more and more unlikely as they get closer to Colorado.

A/N Next Chapter: Kansas City, Kansas pit stop. Burt calls his son and lets him know that Finn has moved to California. He's surprised to hear that Kurt already knew about it. Finn finds himself a job and begins to save for a place to live close to the college. He meets a girl, the same age as him, also starting freshmen year at UCLA in the fall, they hit it off. Nick and Jeff have an argument, a big one that leads to a blow out of epic proportions. Hays, Kansas. Kurt tells Blaine that he doesn't want Nick and Jeff to break up, because he's seen what happens when they're not together, and it's not pretty. Blaine helps Kurt when he tries to harm himself after Nick takes out his frustration on his best-friend. It's the first time that Blaine has stepped in to help. Flashbacks Include: The Warbler Road Trip of 2014, Finn and Kurt bond at their parents wedding, Mercedes goes to Kurt for advice about… that and the beginning of Niff. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.