Five hours later, April shifted her weight from one leg to the other for the umpteenth time. She'd been in surgery with Dr. Stark for not even half an hour, but she hadn't once been able to sit down since lunch, and her legs muscles were stiff. If she'd been assisting, she would barely have noticed the aching fatigue, but he was just having her watch.

She let her eyes drift upward from the operating table to his face. His eyes behind his surgical glasses were intent, paying careful attention to the movements he was making inside the abdomen of a six month old boy. She watched him carefully as his eyebrows relaxed for a second before they furrowed again as he worked on their tiny patient. It figures that the time he'd be least likely to notice her staring, more than half of his face is covered by a surgical mask.

She'd been sneaking looks at him all afternoon, scrutinizing his face to see if it held the explanation for why he would have recommended her. One useful side effect of never having been in a serious relationship is that she'd had no chance to get all self-absorbed and love-obsessed about someone. People missed a lot when they were distracted by infatuation and that new relationship stage, but April saw almost everything, and had actually gotten decently good at reading people over the years, when she tried.

But she couldn't read him today, with his bland stares, even questions, and measured responses. Actually, was it just today? She thought back, trying to remember the last time she'd been able to discern his emotions just by observing him. Certainly not when he'd first asked out her out - she'd been so taken by surprise that now she couldn't quite recall his expression. And she hadn't been able to guess what he'd been thinking when he shut her down and brushed her off after she'd told him that he was winning more friends at the hospital.

The only emotions of his that she'd seen lately were scorn and rage. The other residents thought that those were the only feelings he ever had. April had never quite convinced them of the nice man underneath all that ego and prickliness, but she'd seen it. Their dates had been great - once they'd both relaxed a little, the conversation had been wonderful and the silences had not been awkward, but easy.

But, she thought, despite all the talking they'd done over dinner and drinks, she hadn't entirely known what he was thinking then either. She had just decided they were friends, but he'd contradicted that just after she had let Alex, of all people, convince her that a movie at his place meant sex.

April's eyes dropped back down to the operating table, wondering anew if Alex had been right, or if, as she suspected was more likely, she'd been a fool to believe him and the other interns. Either way, Robert - Dr. Stark, she corrected herself mentally – hadn't exactly been broadcasting his intentions.

He'd been kind, opening doors for her and listening to her, but he'd been pretty inscrutable. He smiled at her often, unforced smiles with no malice or sarcasm behind them, but those smiles had held no clue about sexual attraction. He'd never even kissed her, after weeks of dating! And yet... he did once say she was "very beautiful". Something in her chest fluttered a bit remembering that flattery.

She risked another glance at him now, wondering if he still had feelings for her, if that had been why he'd recommended her to Dr. Hunt. Dr. Stark had certainly never said anything very complimentary to her about her skills - he wasn't even letting her assist now on a fairly simple umbilical hernia repair! She gazed mournfully down at the operating table. Her right leg throbbed beneath her, and she sighed a little as she shifted to her left.

"Bored, Dr. Kepner?" His dry, slightly sneering voice had her straightening and trying to look diligently observant as she continued to watch his hands make slow, considered moves inside of the infant.

"No, not at all. I'm learning quite a bit by observing." April held her breath and hoped that he wouldn't get more caustic.

"Are you sure?" he asked mildly. "I've finished removing the hernia sack, and since you haven't been able to assist me yet, I was going to offer to let you do reinforce the abdominal wall and close up by yourself, but if you're quite fascinated just by watching..." He pulled his mouth to the side a little in a half-smirk without looking away from their patient.

"Ohh-oh," April stuttered, "I just meant, it's a priviledge to be watching you work, that - that one can never learn all that a more experienced surgeon has to teach, and - "

"Oh, stop it already," Dr. Stark said, rolling his eyes. "Just get in here."

April stepped forward eagerly, forgetting her earlier thoughts as she focused on the operating table.

Stark watched her work closely for several minutes, noting that she asked for the appropriate gauge of mesh, and was careful in her movements. He relaxed a bit as she finished reinforcing the abdominal wall and started closing. She had this.

And so, it would seem, did he. He was pleased with himself - he'd remained stoic and mild all afternoon despite her uncomfortably close proximity, and their working relationship seemed to be back on an even keel.

"All done!" April chirped. "Did I miss anything? Would you have done anything differently?"

"No, you did fine work," replied Stark, stepping back. "Let's scrub out, let the nurses get him to recovery, and update the parents." He shouldered open the door to the scrub room, stripped off his gloves, and ran the water.

April entered behind him, moving a little slower. At the sink, as she reached for the soap, she glanced sidways at his profile.

"Thank you, Dr. Stark," she said.

"No need to thank me," he said without looking up. "It's my job to help you learn, no better way than by doing."

April stared at the soap bubbles surrounding her hands for a second. Reaching out to hold them under the running water, she abruptly decided to be direct about what was on her mind.

"Yes, but thank you anyway. And..." She steeled herself. "And, thank you for recommending me to Dr. Hunt." As the last few words tumbled off her lips, she turned her head to watch his reaction.

Though she'd said the words quietly, his head and shoulders jerked forward just slightly, as if he'd been startled by a loud noise. But he remained silent, head bent slightly over the sink, so after a few seconds she pressed on. "I was surprised," she said, "when I found out. After our last case together, I didn't think..." her voice faltered as he turned away, but he grabbed two hand towels, and turned back to pass her one.

"You're a good doctor. You have good ideas." he said simply, still looking down as he dried his hands. "Don't mistake me," and now he looked her straight in the eye, causing her heart to skip a beat as his voice became irritated and he tossed the towel away. "You get too emotionally involved with your patients, and you're distracted easily, and if you don't learn to control that, one day it will bite you in the ass." He paused, scowling, and her mind flashed back to that painful moment when she'd realized she'd distractedly killed someone's mother.

As if he knew what she was thinking - but she hadn't told him about that little blip in her career, she'd been too embarrassed - his voice went soft. "But no doctor can be perfect, and you deserved chief resident as much as anyone else." He held her gaze for just a fraction of a second more, wondering why she didn't seem to believe she could be competitive with her peers, then turned away, saying dryly, "You're very good at your job, Dr. Kepner. So go do it, go tell that boy's parents that he'll be fine."

With that, he left, leaving April standing dumbly, still holding the towel in her wet hands.

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