Bored

Shawn twiddled his thumbs and stared at the TV. The first Home Alone movie was on but he didn't want to watch it. He had already seen it thirty times and he didn't feel like watching it again. Sighing, he grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels. He didn't understand how there could be absolutely nothing on. Completely frustrated, he turned the TV off and looked at Hunter. His partner in crime was sleeping in the bed next to him. Stupid Hunter didn't have to worry about being bored. The big nose bastard was fast asleep. And he was snoring. Bastard. He always snored really really REALLY loud.

Shawn got out of bed and walked over to his bag that was sitting in the corner of the room. He needed to find something to entertain himself soon or he was going to go insane. "Where is it?" he muttered to himself. "I know Rebecca packed it for me. She always packs it for me. She's a good wife like that." He kept searching, getting more and more frustrated by the second. "Where is it? he whined. "Where did it go? I bet Jeff stole it. He's always--oh wait, here it is." He pulled out his red bouncy ball. It was his favorite thing in the whole world (besides his wife and kids that is...and that was just because he felt like he would go to hell if he didn't put them above the ball).

He kicked his bag back into the corner and began trying to walk while bouncing the ball at the same time. "Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy! Bo--aw!" The ball hit his shoe and rolled across the room. Not one to give up easily, he ran over and picked it up. "Bad ball!" Then he began bouncing it again. "Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy! Bo--aw! Bad ball! He chased after it again. "Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy--hey, don't hit the chair! It didn't do anything to you!" He gasped. "Don't you give me that look! I'm not afraid to spank you if I have to! Bo--"

"Shawn! Would you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to sleep here!"

Shawn frowned. Hunter was wide awake now and he looked pissed. "How did you even hear me over your snoring?" Shawn asked. "I couldn't even hear myself think over that racket!"

Hunter rolled his eyes. "First of all Shawn, I know very well that you were not thinking. You don't even think when you need to, so there's no way in hell you were thinking just now."

"How do you know? You can't read my mind!"

"No, but I don't have to. I'm your best friend. I know stuff that even Rebecca doesn't know."

Shawn folded his arms over his chest. "Oh really? What do you know that she doesn't?"

"Let's see...you don't actually like her pot roast because it's too dry but you'll never say anything because you're afraid she'll withhold sex forever; you still think there are monsters under your bed and in your closet; you once tried to give yourself head when you were in bed and you thought I was asleep; you also tried to give yourself head when you were in the shower; oh and another time you tried to give yourself head while driving and you ran over four out of five members of the Spirit Squad and that's really why they're not with the WWE anymore..."

Shawn held up his hands. "Hey! There's no need to get personal!"

Hunter smirked. "Aw, are you upset because you still can't give yourself a blowjob?"

"No!" Shawn denied. "Besides, it's not like YOU can do it!"

"Sure I could!"

"Oh really? Well show me then."

"Fine! I will!" Hunter took off his pants and underwear and immediately began trying to accomplish what he said he could do. Shawn's jaw dropped, hardly believing Hunter was doing that right in front of him. He told himself to cover his eyes up because it was probably a sin to watch this, but it was like a train wreck; he honestly could not tear his eyes away from it.

"Damn it!" Hunter shouted after several failed attempts at his mission. "I can't reach! Shawn, come here and press my head down so I can get closer."

"No!" Shawn refused, completely horrified by that suggestion. "Put your pants back on! This is not right at all!"

Hunter rolled his eyes and muttered unhappily as he did what he was told. "You caught me on a bad night," he said defensively. "I haven't been doing my stretches so--"

"Just shut up Hunter," Shawn ordered. He tossed his red ball from hand to hand. "I'm bored and I need to be entertained."

"Watch TV then," Hunter replied as he laid back down. "I'm going to go back to sleep."

Shawn shook his head stubbornly. "There's nothing on TV! I've flipped through the channels a thousand times and I didn't find anything." He held up his bouncy ball. "You should bounce this with me. It's more fun to bounce it with someone else."

Hunter shook his head. "I'm not playing with your stupid ball Shawn. I'm going to sleep." He curled up under his covers and closed his eyes.

"My ball is not stupid!" Shawn yelled angrily. He jumped on top of Hunter and began slapping him. "You take it back! You take it back right now!"

"No!" Hunter refused. "It's stupid and I'm sticking to that opinion! Now get off me!"

Shawn refused to get off. His ball's honor had been insulted and now he had to defend it. "Bad Hunter! Bad! You hurt my ball's feelings!"

"Ack! Damn it Shawn! Quit hitting me!"

"Never!"

Hunter suddenly growled and he violently shoved Shawn off of him. Shawn fell off the bed and landed on the floor really hard. "Owie!" he shouted. "That hurt!"

"Well you should have stopped hitting me," Hunter replied. "I wouldn't have done that if you would have just knocked it off."

Shawn got up and got on his bed. He didn't like Hunter at the moment. "Stupid meanie," he muttered as he turned the TV back on. "Fucking big nose asshole."

If Hunter heard that, he chose to ignore that. In fact, he fell back asleep within a matter of minutes. Shawn tried once again to find something interesting to watch, but he once again failed to do that. He looked over at Hunter. Hunter was still snoring and it was annoying. Shawn bit his lower lip. Not only did his ball's honor still needed to be properly defended, but he was still bored. And an idea of how to kill both those birds with one stone had just popped into his head.

Being as quiet as possible, Shawn got up and went over to his bag in the corner again. This time he got a thing of shaving cream and a Sharpie out of it. I'm so bad for doing this...but Hunter so deserves it. He tip toed over to his longtime friend and shook the can of shaving cream as hard as he could. Resisting the urge to giggle, he sprayed the shaving cream all over Hunter's face and hair. By the time he was done, Hunter looked like a Santa Claus's long lost son. Oh this is way too good, Shawn thought as he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. It was almost impossible to keep himself from laughing. Knowing that he was going to lose it soon, he moved Hunter's blanket down enough to write SHAWN'S BITCH in big bold letters right on Hunter's chest. There we go. That's perfect. Shawn put the shaving cream and Sharpie away and then laid down. The countdown to Hunter waking up was officially on.

XXXXXX

Hunter woke up about six hours later because he needed to pee. Grumbling under his breath, he got up, walked to the bathroom, did his business and then caught a look at himself in the mirror. Because he was so tired, it took him several minutes to realize what the hell was on him. When he did realize it though, he was not happy at all. He was completely covered in shaving cream and his chest said that he was Shawn's bitch.

"SHAWN! YOU ASSHOLE! I FUCKING HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!"

All Shawn did in response was laugh.

Hunter growled. Shawn was so fucking DEAD.