A Nightmare Not on Elm Street

"What's the matter with the two of you?" Matt asked Rebecca and Hunter, who looked absolutely exhausted. "You two look like you haven't slept in days."

"We haven't," Rebecca said. She rubbed her eyes and yawned before giving Hunter an angry glare. "Someone here took Shawn to see the new Nightmare on Elm Street movie--"

"He said he wanted to go!" Hunter said defensively. He was so tired that he was actually whining, which was not a good sound coming from him. It was just really weird because he sounded like he was imitating Stephanie when she used to run around being a brat on TV. "How was I supposed to know he would act like this?"

"You've been his friend for thirteen years now! You should have known that that movie was really going to scare him!"

"Wait, he really did get scared by that movie?" Matt asked. "It wasn't that bad."

"Well Shawn thinks it was," Rebecca said. "As soon as he saw it, he started having nightmares about it, which has ultimately led him to believe Fredddy Krueger is actually real and now trying to kill him in his dreams." She reached over and smacked Hunter as hard as she could. "And it's all your fault!"

Hunter cried out in pain and then pouted. "It is not my fault!" he whined. "It's his fault because he's a moron--" The rest of what he was about to say was cut off by Rebecca slapping the holy hell out of him.

Matt rolled his eyes and let the beating of Hunter continue for a little bit before interrupting it. "You know, maybe instead of tossing blame around, we should be thinking of a way to convince Shawn Freddy is not actually going to kill him," he pointed out.

Hunter snorted. "Yeah, well that's going to be easier said than done. You know how he is. Once he believes something, it's harder than hell to convince him otherwise."

"Yeah, well we need to at least try," Matt insisted. "I'm assuming he's keeping the two of you up with this whole Freddy shtick, am I right?"

Rebecca and Hunter both nodded. "He's even keeping the poor kids up," Rebecca said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Every time he catches them trying to go to sleep, he goes insane and starts yelling and waking them up. Cheyenne is scared out of her mind and Cameron is starting to get really cranky."

Matt sighed. That wasn't good. "We need a plan of attack for this," he said, getting up so he could start pacing back and forth. "Going at him without some kind of idea of how we're going to convince him Krueger isn't real would be suicide. And last time I checked, suicide is bad."

"It's almost as bad as Shawn's singing," Hunter agreed with a nod.

Rebecca glared at him. "Shawn's better at singing than you are," she declared.

Hunter looked genuinely insulted by that statement. "He is not! How can you even say that?"

"Uh…because I'm not deaf!"

Matt groaned loudly and smacked himself on the forehead. Shit, this is going to be a long night.

…

Shawn hugged the teddy bear version of himself, wondering where the hell Rebecca and Hunter were. They had promised to come back with more coffee to make sure he didn't fall asleep. After his last nightmare, he was more convinced than ever that Freddy was coming to kill him. And since he did not want to die, he had to stay awake. He had to. There was no alternative.

"Come on come on," he muttered, slapping himself a couple of times and taking a drink of his coffee. All the caffeine in his system was making him jittery, but at least it was also keeping him awake. "You can do this. You can do this. You can--"

A loud scratching noise at his window made him jump about a foot in the air. It sounded like a bunch of nails were scraping over it. "No!" Shawn shouted, shaking his head vehemently. "No no no no!" He must have fallen asleep without realizing it. "Someone wake me up! Please! Someone wake me--"

"Why the hell are you screaming?"

Shawn looked towards the door and yelped in surprise. Bret Hart of all people was standing there, looking at him like he was insane. "How….how did you get in my dream?" he asked.

Bret frowned. "What are you talking about? You're awake Shawn. And you're scaring everyone else on this floor with your screaming."

Shawn opened his mouth to speak when the noise at the window came again. "Oh no," he whimpered, getting up and hiding behind Bret. "We're going to die!"

Bret rolled his eyes in exasperation. "You always were a drama queen," he said in exasperation, walking over the window and pulling back the curtain to reveal that it was Jeff making the noise with his toy Freddy claws. "What the hell are you doing Hardy?" the Hall of Famer asked with a sigh.

"Scaring Shawn," Jeff replied innocently.

Shawn pouted. "Jeff! That's not nice!"

"Yeah but it was funny," Jeff replied with a giggle. He climbed in through the window and started bouncing around. "Shawn's a big fat scared-y cat!"

"Hey hey hey! I am not fat!" Shawn growled.

Bret shook his head. "Well seeing as how there's nothing important going on here, I think I should--"

"One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door."

The three wrestlers froze before looking out the window. Three little girls were playing jump rope in the grass, singing that song. "Jesus Jeff, you went all out didn't you?" Bret asked as Shawn whimpered in fear.

Jeff shook his head. "I didn't make them do this," he said softly.

Bret frowned and looked back at Shawn, who was shaking now. Suddenly they heard the trademark Freddy laugh, and that was all it took to make them lose it (although Bret would later deny he did such a thing--he had a reputation to maintain after all).

"RUN!" Shawn screamed, already running out of the room. Jeff and Bret were right behind him, nearly knocking over Matt in the process.

"Where the hell are you guys going?" Rebecca asked as Hunter stared at them incredulously.

"Away from Freddy!" Shawn yelled. "He's alive I tell you! ALIVE!"

…

Miz snickered and put his arm around Jericho. "You're too good at that," he said with a shake of his head.

Jericho smirked. "I love scaring ass clowns. It's very entertaining."

"It is," Miz agreed. "Where did you get the kids anyway?"

"Those two are my daughters and the other one is their best friend."

"Nice. Now what should we do?"

"Go beat up Michael Cole?"

"Sounds good to me."