Into the Woods Part 2

Shawn clutched at his sprained ankle as he stared at the wolf with large eyes. After swearing that he saw a group of deranged psychopaths coming to kill them all, Jeff had taken off running into the woods, forcing Matt to chase off after him and making Shawn panic and run into the woods too, even though he had meant to run off to the safety that was Hunter and Stephanie. "Nice wolfie," Shawn said quietly, trying to scoot back very carefully so he wouldn't get eaten. "You don't want to hurt me. I'm a sexy boy…I'm not your chew toy…"

The wolf growled, making Shawn nearly piss himself in fright. "Please Mr. Wolfie, go eat Matt or Jeff. They're from the south so they probably taste like fried chicken." The wolf stopped for a moment and just stared at him. "Yeah, you like tasty chicken, don't you?" Shawn didn't feel too bad for throwing Matt and Jeff to the wolf. They were fast so they could probably outrun the thing anyway.

"Shawn?" Hunter yelled, making the wolf growl again. "Shawn what's-" He came screeching to a halt as he saw what was going on. "Holy crap!"

Shawn put up his hand to stop Hunter from making any kind of sudden movements. "Be very very careful," he whispered. "And stay very very still. It's vision is based on movement."

Hunter looked at Shawn in surprise. "It is?"

Shawn nodded. "Yeah."

"How do you know that?"

"I saw it on Animal Planet."

Hunter accepted that without question. Animal Planet was much wiser than them on the ways of animals. "So how do we make it go away?" he asked, trying to whisper so the wolf couldn't hear them.

Shawn shook his head. "I have no idea."

"Well that's not helpful at all!" Hunter exclaimed as he threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. "Jesus Shawn, why couldn't you have found that out?"

"Because I fell asleep before the narrator told me what to do!" Shawn snapped. "I was tired! I can't help falling asleep if I'm tired Hunter. You know that." He looked at the wolf, who was still not running off to go eat Matt and Jeff. "So why don't you quit being an idiot and do something. You're supposed to be saving me right now!"

"Fine! Just give me a minute to think!" Hunter snapped impatiently. He ran his hand through his hair before reaching down and picking up a rock. "Here Mr. Wolf," he said in his most innocent voice. "It's time to play the game…"

"Hunter!" Stephanie yelled, startling Hunter so bad that he tossed the rock straight up so it ended up landing on his head. "Don't you dare throw anything at that poor dog!"

"Dog?" Shawn said in confusion. He was so disappointed in Stephanie. He thought she would be smarter than this. "That's not a dog Steph. That's a wolf."

Stephanie glared at him before walking over to the wolf and patting its head. "It's an Alaskan Husky," she informed him. She smiled as the creature licked her hand. "You two would have known that if you weren't complete idiots."

Shawn looked at Hunter, who was rubbing his head. "I can't believe you! You convinced me that this poor innocent doggy was a wolf!"

Hunter blinked and shook his head. "I did not! You thought he was a wolf long before I ever got here!"

"Nuh uh! You were the one-"

"Oh would you two stop it?" Stephanie snapped. She looked ready to strangle the both of them. "You two are the most immature little brats that I have ever had to deal with. Why do I even put up with the both of you? Tell me!"

"Uhh….me give you lots of orgasms?" Hunter said hesitantly.

"Me too," Shawn said.

"What?" Hunter yelled. "You've been touching my wife?"

"No…but if it keeps her from killing me I will," Shawn admitted. "I already talked to Rebecca and she said that if I'm staring death in the face, I'm allowed to use my body to get out of it."

"Alright then," Stephanie said with a shake of her head. "Good to know." She knelt down and pet the dog's head, smiling as it licked her face. "You're just a big sweetheart aren't you? Yes you are. Where's your owner at? Do you think he can help us?"

Hunter shook his head. "Stephanie that's a dog. I don't think-"

"I think I might be able to service y'all."

Shawn's eyes widened in fright. "It's possessed!" he wailed. He hopped up on to his good foot and then jumped into Hunter's arms Scooby Doo style. "Satan's taken a hold of it. Get it out! Get it out!"

"That ain't my dog talkin' you moron. It's me." A fat, middle age man sporting a bigger bald spot than Paul Heyman stepped into view, looking at the three of them like they were absolutely insane. "Now what you doin' on my property?"

Stephanie stood back up and took charge of the situation. "Hi. I'm sorry we're here without permission, but my idiot husband got us lost and then our tire went flat and now we've lost our other two friends. So we just need to find them, get our tire changed and if you could just point us to the direction of the next town we'll be out of your way in no time."

The man tilted his head to the side, opening his mouth just enough to reveal that he only had about three teeth in his entire mouth. "Why you want to go somewhere else? You should stay with me and my family. We'd take real good care of you." He leered at Stephanie and began to reach for his chest. "We'll take-"

"Fire!" Stephanie yelled as she kneed the man in the groin and then punched him in the face.

Shawn raised his eyebrows as the man crumpled to the ground in pain. "Uh…fire?"

"Girls should never shout rape," Stephanie told him. "Nobody wants to help during a rape. Everyone loves to come watch a good fire though." She dusted her hands off and looked at Hunter. "We need to find Matt and Jeff."

"Can't you just find them?" Hunter asked. "I mean you're all tough-"

"I'm pregnant! You want me to put our baby in jeopardy because you're too much of a coward to go help find your friends?"

"Oh come on, nothing would happen to our baby! You're a McMahon! You're womb is bionic!"

Stephanie gave Hunter such a nasty glare that The Game quickly wilted and sighed in defeat. "Okay, fine. I'll do whatever you say. But if you get me eaten I'm telling."