Author's Note:
FINALLY! Like anyone could have doubted it would eventually happen. I mean… after his mom? And the digging to hell to get him, am I right? I'm right. Anyway, I could easily fill a fic full of their growing closeness as Judy is stuck on office duty and fluff assignments and Nick watching streaming videos on the internet while his leg heals, but the series is Guardian Blue, not Homebody Blue, so we shall move things forward a bit, with a couple of stops on the way to bring us to where we want to be, back to making the world a better place. Together. This is another slightly longer chapter as a result of time-dilation!
If you are just joining Guardian Blue for the first timeyou will want to check out Season 1 first, and I would highly recommend Thanks for the Fox before that as well so everything makes sense. ^^
This story is a labor of love and as such I am not paid to produce it. I do try to keep a constant update schedule but life sometimes interferes. Hopefully not much. I do not own Disney, Zootopia, or any of the characters therein, and hope that I would not shock them too terribly if they read what I wrote. At least not to the degree of Harescribe111.
Also! A HUGE shout-out to J. N. Squire for assisting with editing for Season 2! With my busy schedule and rampant comma-abuse it's a gigantic help!
Guardian Blue: Season Two
Episode 4: Progress
Indescribable bliss. That was what Judy felt as her eyes let in the soft blue-grey tones of morning as it filtered dimly through the curtains. She looked up, able to see the soft cream-toned throat of her vulpine date from the previous night. She'd awakened like this every morning for a week but this time was a little different. She felt more entitled to touch, to push closer, to relish the gentle embrace. That secure slumbering hug was a mix of the placement of his arm over her smaller form and just simple gravity that kept it there as he slept.
Judy closed her eyes and drank in the memories from last night. The kiss on the gondola high over the treetops as the last light of day was extinguished by the horizon was the highlight of her entire evening. She spent some time almost vibrating with happiness as she considered it, lovingly rolling the memory around in her head. That kiss had lasted for easily five or six minutes unbroken and uninterrupted. Nick finally drew away to just clutch his bunny close – and she did consider herself that without hesitation now. Upon leaving the gondola ride, they met with Manchas again at the limo. He'd come back to pick them up, then they went to a rather nice stir-fry place she had enjoyed a great deal when she took Nick there after his graduation.
They went home after, taking the train, and then going slow on the walk from the stop not far from Nick's place. Judy could tell as they got back into the apartment that Nick was in pain. When he was hurting, he had a tell that Judy sadly had practice recognizing. One ear stayed down on whatever side hurt. In this case, it was his right side which meant he'd been overdoing it with his leg. Judy ordered Nick into some pajama pants and into bed, giving him his medicine. He complained a bit because he felt like it was putting a damper on an otherwise lovely evening.
The bunny crawled into bed with him after he took his medicine and pushed in close, her chest over his as he rested on the bed. She explained to him that the flower he'd given to her made it very clear there would be more dates and that torturing himself would not make the night any more perfect. Taking care of Nick made Judy happy, and she was glad just to have him safe in her arms.
With that slightly emotional revelation given, they kissed again for a while after he got settled in. Judy found that it felt a bit more natural than she suspected, though Nick got a little more adventurous as the medicine kicked in. He eventually slipped that flat ribbon of pink fox-tongue past her teeth without warning. At first it startled her, but after a moment to adjust to what he was doing she quickly found she enjoyed that. He wasn't giving too much and was still being careful. That offered a sweetness to the moment she further enjoyed.
Nick slowly became sleepy, and Judy found to her humor that he actually dozed off from the medication in the middle of a kiss. She could tell by the change in his breathing. She kissed his nose after and he awoke, apologizing, but Judy shushed him. She let Nick settle in again and relax while she took a longer-than-usual shower before getting into her own pajamas, a simple night shirt and shorts. The bunny then crawled into bed with her fox. He was very much asleep before she had even finished settling in against him.
All of those events Judy contemplated as she rested on her side with her nose pushed forward to very gently touch Nick's chest. Normally her mother would have scolded the young doe for ending up in bed with someone on their first date, but in this case, it really didn't feel so strange. She could not imagine any other place she'd have belonged. When she crawled into bed beside him that night, Judy had spent at least an hour beside the sleeping fox looking through pictures from her evening. She found one to immediately cherish.
Skye had sent her a still shot of her bending forward to nip the top of the flower, accepting Nick as her date. It was the moment right before her small mouth reached the flower so it was still whole but it was obvious what was about to happen to it. She gazed at the picture for a while, feeling giddy before putting her phone on its charger and curling up against Nick. The bunny finally let sleep take her as she looked forward to many a night in his arms.
Nick was still very asleep as Judy greeted the day. He had never been a morning mammal. She sat up and stretched a bit, leaving the bed to let him rest as she ventured into the kitchen to prepare some coffee. She also had something she needed to do. She picked up her phone and called the second most frequently used number on it.
Her mother picked up. "Judy! I just got the coffee made, how are things there?" Bonnie seemed in a happy mood. That was good.
Judy answered casually, "I'm doing great, mom! So, hey… Are you able to get pictures while on a phone call? I mean, I know you can, but you can manage it fine, right?" she asked.
Bonnie spoke on her end, "Eli sends me pictures of the little one all the time like that, mid-call. I manage it. Do you have a picture of something? Not much to photograph when stuck in the apartment all day, I would wager!"
Judy laughed at that, speaking again, "Well, hold on, I am gonna send you something." With that, she moved the phone away from her ear. Her mother answered in the affirmative loud enough for bunny ears to hear even without the phone right up to them. The young doe searched her phone for the right image and found it. It was a very flattering picture of Judy on the balcony with the city lit by the light of afternoon behind her. She had on the green dress, the very minor touch of eyeshadow, the light strawberry gloss to her lips, and the little blueberry ear clip. She sent that picture to her mother.
There was a slight pause on the other end and then a loud gasp. Judy enjoyed being able to tell the exact moment the picture appeared on her mother's phone. She felt almost mirthful about it. Bonnie called Stu into the room desperately. He initially seemed to think that disaster had struck and the coffee was the victim. He gasped as well at the picture the moment it was obvious Judy's mom showed it to him.
Judy could hear him on the other end. "Is that Jude the Dude? Cripes! Look at her. Just… look at her." The slight rise in pitch and crack of her father's voice told her he was fighting the water-works. Judy blushed a lot from the elation the both had. She did not care to dress like that much, but she was very glad it made her parents so happy.
Finally, her mother asked the question she was waiting on. "Judy, what kind of event was that for? Was there an award for what you and Nick did? I wish you'd have said something, we'd have driven out… or at least taken the train!"
Judy smiled and answered confidently. "Oh no, nothing like that; it was for a date!" There was a very noticeable gasp from her mom, and a long pause on the phone.
Her father mumbled incredulously. "Did she just say a date?"
"She said a date, Stu." Her mother clarified immediately. She then added, "Okay, so what was Nick wearing, I wanna see!" Judy perked her ears at that. She had expected them to perhaps be less sure about that, and decided to tease a little.
She gasped lightly in pretend scandal and cried, "Oh good grief mom! Are you still on about that? You really still think I am dating my partner?"
There was a short pause on the other end again, and then a darker tone in the voice of her mother. "Judy, bun, if the next image I see arrive on my phone is not Nick dressed nicely for his date, I swear I will immediately get in the truck and drive out there and jerk a permanent knot in both of your ears." Judy had to stifle her laugh. Okay, so her mom was really, really sure. She brought up her new very favorite image and sent it to her, the one of Nick holding out the passion fruit flower and Judy preparing to take her customary bite.
Judy spoke again while her mother retrieved the image in her phone's message center. "Here we go, sorry mom, I couldn't help but razz you a bit." There was another short pause and then it was Stu with a very loud cheer. Judy was again very surprised at how okay with all of this her parents actually seemed to be. There was absolutely no resistance. Then again, they seemed so sure it had already been going on, so it probably wasn't a terribly shocking leap into reality.
As Judy thought about it, she also considered what Sammie had said had about the progression of her relationship with Nick. Her heart had already claimed Nick whether she was willing to admit it or not because he filled the natural role of a mate. Perhaps her parents were no less acutely aware of his role, even though Judy had ignored it. How many others could see it? Nick said half the city likely assumed after the video. Still, she decided to make sure her parents knew the newly minted couple wanted the matter kept mostly private.
Judy interrupted their revelry. "Okay, so, yeah, Nick and I dating. While there's no sense hiding it from you two, we are not wanting it telecasted or anything. We want some time to kind of grow into all this. We are gonna take things nice and slow so we don't mess things up, and so we can enjoy it and not miss out on anything."
"That sounds lovely, dear," her mother stated cheerfully. "Do you mind if we share the picture of you in your dress at least?" she asked.
Judy replied, "That's fine. And you can tell Sammie, Angela, and Charlie, but I think the others might… prefer to hear it from me. I kind of want to gauge that before I say anything."
"Charlie probably suspects. Nick called him a few days ago." Stu said on the other end.
"What?" Judy asked, suddenly completely derailed.
Her mother replied. "Obviously your father and I already suspected where things were going. However, we had a little… incident the other day that made it more obvious. See, your father tried to tell Gideon about the sweet thing Nick said to you the night he came back home. You remember the very poetic thing?" Judy put a little paw to her mouth as she considered that. She remembered the way Skye reacted.
"Uh oh," she said out loud on the phone
"Uh oh? Yeah uh oh, young lady. You forgot to tell us something important there, didn't ya?" Judy put her head down. She hasn't said anything because she wasn't sure she completely understood it herself. Her mother continued. "…and Gideon straight up panicked and put a banana cream pie right in your father's face to make him stop saying the words."
"Oh no!" Judy exclaimed, but could not help but laugh at the image that went through her mind. As she laughed, her mother did too and kept talking. "…I mean, obviously we kinda wanted to know what that was all about, so Gid explained as best he could. Then, when Nick called Charlie asking who the best mammal to ask about bunny-burrow tradition might be, we put two and two together."
Judy's ears blazed, dropped back over her neck. She pulled the phone close to her face, and murmured, "Nick… called Pop-Pop to ask him for advice on dating bunnies?"
"Probably," chimed her dad. Judy slumped back in her chair. It was hard for her to get her head around that, but she remembered that Nick said he had come to an amicable understanding with her grandfather. Judy's sensitive ears picked up the tell-tale grunt of a fox who tried to turn over and forgot about his cast. Again.
Judy spoke up quickly. "Okay, so I need to go, I want to get some breakfast in me and I have a few things to take care of. I just wanted to give you and mom those pictures. I took more, so I will send them when I have a bit of time later." Her parents tossed in their love you's and take care's and Judy hung up the phone and moved calmly back into the bedroom. She crawled carefully back into bed as Nick slowly opened his eyes.
"I smell coffee," the fox rumbled sleepily. Judy nodded and pushed herself up under his arm which he gladly allowed, pulling her in close. She pushed him back just slightly with her chest against his, moving a small paw up to stroke his ears. Nick gazed up into her eyes with his own gleaming emerald. He looked very content, and it made Judy feel even more happy.
He spoke gently, as if they might wake some unseen other mammal. "So… this is how it's gonna be, huh?" He leaned up and just gently touched his cool nose-pad against her much smaller nose. For some reason, Judy really liked that little nudge. She touched back, then followed up with a delicate kiss. After a moment, she leaned back a little, head held above a fox she had essentially pinned.
"Is this how it's gonna be? Yes. Yes it is," she said teasingly with a smile. She then added, her ears falling back, eyes locking on his, "I love you, Nick." She had wanted so much to say it the previous night, but felt it was unfair to say that when the target of her comment was either uncomfortable or unconscious. This was a new morning and a pretty new world awaited them. It seemed the right thing to say to greet that world with her partner. His eyes did widen a bit at her words. Judy then saw a flicker of that unmistakable joy smile that his mother had made her subconsciously watch for.
Nick softened his expression and brought a gentle hand to the bunny's cheek, running his slightly rough thumb-pad along her jaw to the back of her head. He then trailed his claws oh so delicately down her swept back ear.
He spoke in his most tender, soothing voice, "I love you too, Judy. Hearing you say that mends me in ways a cast cannot." He then brought his head up a little, taking advantage of the slight parting of Judy's lips from the pleasure caused by his caress of her ears and he gave a slow, deep, blissful kiss.
A pot of coffee remained, forgotten, as their morning brought them closer to one another and nowhere near the kitchen.
The following days were remarkable mostly in how natural and unremarkable they felt. As they had promised one another, they took their time and enjoyed every aspect of growing closer. In many ways, it felt no different than life before. That wasn't a bad thing to Judy because of how much joy her life had with Nick in it.
At the same time, those days still stood out as some of the happiest Judy had enjoyed her entire time in Zootopia. The media began to finally back off of the 'Death backed away' story, and she returned to work as Nick was able to manage without pain medication. He was only a couple of days behind her in terms of being able to do some desk work.
Judy was touched beyond words when Nick arrived for his first day back to work to find a surprise party waiting for him in the break room. He was very grateful as well, and Judy found that, at least for that moment, his sarcasm was tossed away. It seemed like everyone got to see Nick with the walls down. He resumed his playful attitude after the party was over, of course. While they were back together, back to back at their cubicles where Higgins' mini-fridge once resided, things really did get back to a kind of normality. They were stuck doing a lot of paperwork but it was good to be back at work. Judy felt like everyone was extremely happy to have Nick there again. She knew from experience that the way Nick had been embraced as part of the department was a powerful motivator to get the fox to try his best.
A few weeks went by in a calm, uneventful manner. It was very focused on the administrative aspects of police work. Judy might have been miserable with this if it were not for how absolutely content she was finding life outside of work. Taking a cue from Jack and Skye, they learned to date without it seeming so much like dating. This took the pressure off both of them, and their more intimate lives were shared away from prying eyes.
Nick seemed less confident at first despite having created such a memorable first date. However, Judy assured the fox that how she felt about him had come to be by just doing the normal things they liked to do. There was no need to feel like he had to stray far from that except for special occasions. He became less worried and just had more fun after a couple of relaxing outings.
Judy also found that Nick spent more time with Finnick in those following days. She felt like originally the smaller fox had been a bit less trusting of her, and perhaps even a little irritated. Her removing Nick from his hustling likely made things a little more difficult for the smaller fox. His attitude toward Judy changed after the incident. He joked around with the bunny openly and was around frequently for card games along with Wolfard and even Skye.
Life felt so much more full and lively to the bunny and she was getting very well settled into it. However, she longed to get back to her other passion which she had shared so happily with her partner. She wanted to return to the field where she felt they did the most good.
For them to do that, however, they had one final thing they had to do. They needed to be cleared for duty by Dr. Carlisle. Judy had spoken to her a couple of times before she retrieved Nick, but not after. Nick had only done so once immediately after his rescue but not again. For this session they would be there together because the counselor felt they needed to both talk about the incident to cover the most ground.
On a rainy Wednesday morning, they walked into the office just west of their headquarters. Judy had to fight the temptation to take off running to avoid getting wet. Nick was out of his cast but he was still going light on the running where it wasn't necessary. While his body was nearly back to normal, he wasn't willing to take a possible step back in his recovery for something as pointless as not wanting to get a little wet. The pair entered the doctor's office and checked in.
"Nervous at all?" Judy asked her partner.
He looked curiously at her, then smiled and shook his head. "Should I be? She seemed so nice before. Of course, I was pretty pathetic then. It was like… days after." He laughed.
"Well, it's not an interrogation, but she's gonna ask the hard questions. You know she will." Nick flicked a bunny ear, getting a flurry of soft-pawed attacks thrown at him.
The receptionist laughed. "Behave, kids." The porcupine seemed like the least approachable mammal to have as a receptionist, but she had such a sweet manner to her that it was simply not an issue. "Doctor Carlisle is ready for you."
Nick and Judy got up and walked into the office together, closing the unusually heavy door behind them. Nick murmured under his breath, "Soundproof. Guess screaming's okay."
"Shush." Judy hissed. She then grinned at the doctor who stood to greet the arriving pair. Dr. Carlisle smiled brightly, a short and petite skunk with amber eyes that reminded Judy of a wolf's when she tried to look into them. The doctor was graceful, soft-spoken, and everything about her felt nurturing. She was adorned casually in a violet sweater and fashionable jeans. Despite being a skunk, she seemed to lack even the lingering scent of musk. She obviously took very good care to tamp down the scent to avoid its distraction.
The mephit moved over to the wall and darkened the room a great deal, making it seem more cozy. She then moved a fragile-looking dressing screen between the two chairs where Nick and Judy had just plopped down. This made Judy immediately uncomfortable. Why wasn't she allowed to see Nick? Was this necessary? Judy took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. Her having issues not being able to see Nick had calmed, but being specifically denied looking at him felt like an attack for some reason.
The doctor moved over to her desk and turned off the little green desk that illuminated it. She paused a moment, and then stated in her soft, motherly tone, "Nicholas, how are you feeling right now? Comfortable?"
He answered softly, "I am. I like low light. Foxes usually do." Judy's capable ears heard the soft scratching of pen on paper.
"So, the time in darkness does not leave you feeling uncomfortable with it?" She asked this carefully.
Nick replied casually, "No, I don't think I have a lot of baggage from that mess, really."
Carlisle spoke again. "Judy, how are you feeling right now?" The bunny paused. This session was to determine if they were ready to get back to active duty. While she wanted so much to give the right answers to get back to work, the reason this had to be done was to make sure they would be safe. She could never live with herself if something bad happened to Nick because she wasn't ready. So often she hid darker things from her parents that it was almost second nature. She had to be completely honest with the doctor. Anything less could be disastrous to them both.
Judy answered softly, "I am extremely uncomfortable." She knew Nick would not like hearing that but he knew what was at stake here as well.
"Why is that?" asked the mephit.
"I can't see Nick," Judy replied immediately.
The doctor spoke again, her voice a little louder. "You know that he is okay, he's just on the other side of the screen, alive and well. I might add, entirely because of you. You more than anyone should know that he's safe."
Judy hadn't really mentioned the problem to Nick, but she supposed this was what the session was really all about. He needed to know. The bunny responded, "I know he's safe. It's gotten better… but for a while, right after he got home, I would suddenly sink. I'd feel like I was waking from a fantasy where I'd saved him and he was really gone."
Nick's voice lifted from behind the screen. "Judy…"
"It's gotten better though." The bunny insisted. "I don't think about it, it's just... When you intentionally wouldn't let me see him, I felt…" Judy thought a moment, and then forced herself to answer without holding anything back. "… I felt like you didn't want me to see him for some reason. Like I had done something I wasn't supposed to and I wasn't allowed."
Carlisle inquired softly, "You felt like me hiding Nick was a punishment?" Judy looked up curiously at the doctor. Yes, that was it. That was exactly it.
"Yeah, I… I guess so." Judy stated, squirming a bit. She hated not knowing why these questions were being asked. She knew Dr. Carlisle was one of the most accomplished in the field of post trauma stress, however.
The skunk inquired again, "Judy, how would you say your friends and family have treated you since the incident?"
Judy shrugged and answered casually. "Not that differently. They've been helpful not to overload me with a bunch of visitors, especially early on. They know I don't care for the spotlight. You and I talked about that," she told the doctor.
"Do they ask you about Darmaw?" Carlisle asked in a flowing rhythm from Judy's answer. The question was released like a tennis ball chucked at Judy's head.
"What? No, no one talks about that. Why would they?" she questioned.
"What do you think they are feeling?" Carlisle asked curiously. "Do you think they talk to each other about it, even if they don't talk to you?" Judy took a deep, slow breath. She had talked to the doctor already about what happened to the deer. Why ask again?
Judy sighed and answered. "I guess they talk about it, sure. Between that and my kicking my way out of 'hell' I imagine they joke about me being more wolf than bunny. But that's fine. No one like… avoids me or treats me badly if that's what you are wondering."
"How do you think Nick feels about you ending the life of his attacker?" Judy had to actually stifle a gasp that she asked that.
"I feel-" Nick started.
"This one's for Judy, Nicholas," the skunk interrupted. Judy folded her ears back again. "How do you think Nicholas feels?" The bunny quietly loathed hearing the doctor call Nick that. It seemed like only his mother should. She considered that for a bit, concentrating on the question.
"I guess… I think maybe he feels bad because I had to do something like that, but I didn't have a choice!" Judy spoke up, agitated. "If I hadn't, the little girl would have died! And Nick almost did die! I do not regret killing him and the only think that's changed since the first time we talked about it is… since Nick actually survived it… I don't regret that he didn't suffer longer like I did before." She crossed her arms. Did the doctor think she was supposed to feel guilty and dirty for taking out that maniac? She didn't and she wouldn't!
The doctor spoke again slowly, "… but you do feel like Nick might be unhappy because you had to do it? Why do you think he'd be unhappy?" For some reason that question made Judy feel a lot more anxious.
She thought about her answer and forced herself to just talk. She wasn't going to hide anything. "I can't speak for Nick but he cares a lot for me. I'll never question that. So I know he'd be really unhappy that I did something so… permanent like that for him. I think he'd wish I didn't have to. Like maybe he caused it and he'd feel guilty about it and he shouldn't. I told him it's not his fault, and it's not. But I know him. He never wanted that for me."
Carlisle spoke again softly, "Judy, what I want you to spend some time thinking about that, and most certainly some conversation with Nick about it. Even if the outcome was not what you wanted you did your very best to survive. Judy, you may not feel that you need to be punished for Darmaw directly but if you think that Darmaw's death hurt the ones you care about… your family, your partner, you will feel guilt not for what you did in self-defense, but for how you think it's hurt others. What happened reaches farther than just you or the one who caused this to happen. You do not like to talk about it, but I recommend, Judy, that you do. Guilt when you know you did your best is a terrible distraction." Judy leaned back a little. Her eyes closed as she considered that. It… actually made some sense. She didn't regret what she did to save the child, to try to save Nick, but she felt bad for how others might feel about her for doing it. She felt especially anxious over how it changed Nick's feelings for her.
"Can I talk now?" Nick asked, interrupting the retrospective silence.
Carlisle responded. "Certainly." Her tone was again sunny.
The fox spoke clearly. "Judy, I do feel bad that you had to do that, but you couldn't make that happen differently, I don't think. Not even if you went back in time to try to change it. He tried to murder me and a five year old little pup in front of you. I'm surprised they didn't classify Darmaw's death as suicide. He was a killer, Judy, and you saved lives. You probably saved more than my own; I really don't think he was done." Judy sighed at that and nodded slowly.
Judy offered in a gentle tone, "It's something that we will talk more about, like the doctor said. I guess I have avoided talking about that, but I know others do talk. I know they don't hate me for it, and they aren't like… afraid of me, but I feel bad that they have to talk about it at all. She's right."
Carlisle interjected in a caring tone, "Judy, most officers put in a life or death situation like that… when they have to make that very permanent and unhappy choice… the effects are not always immediate and they can take a long time to heal when they show up. Your direction of deflection of anxiety is not uncommon. Stay open with those you care about and you will most likely manage it fine with very little intervention. I feel like you have a strong support network with your family, and certainly with your partner." Judy smiled very slightly at that. The doctor had no idea. Carlisle continued, voice rising to add a tone of authority, "In this time of less-than-lethal measures, there are currently only two officers in this precinct who have taken a life. It's rare, and I do take the feelings of those officers very seriously."
Nick spoke from behind that irritating screen. "If you don't mind my asking…"
The doctor looked up with a serious expression on her mostly darkened lean mephitine face. "It's a matter of public record, but I know exactly who you would most likely ask to find that information and I would really rather you did not do that." She bridged her fingers together. "The other officer in the ZPD who has taken a life is Officer Benjamin Clawhauser. He… did not take that well. We can, I believe, leave it at that." The room was dead silent a moment as Nick and Judy were left to digest the information.
Judy murmured softly. "Clawhauser…" She'd been told an incident put him on desk duty but she always thought it was a disciplinary thing or perhaps an injury in the field, and she hadn't asked.
The doctor spoke up again. "Nicholas."
"Please stop calling him that." Judy blurted out.
Nick spoke up, "It's alright, I understand why she's using it, it's to make me feel more like I'm talking to my mom. I'm more open. She picked up on that in my first visit."
"Why do you not like that I call him that?" Carlisle asked, seeming to ignore Nick's helpful explanation.
Judy sighed. "You don't know him that well. It's a family thing. You've met him once."
"Do you ever call him Nicholas?" asked the doctor.
"No, of course not, only his mom does." Judy felt a blush creep over her. She was considered family though, and it felt suspiciously like Carlisle was close to picking up on that somehow. Judy had perhaps underestimated just how good a behavioral analyst the skunk really was.
"Do you consider yourself close like family?" the skunk asked. Judy took in a slow, measured breath. Dangerous territory.
"It just seems like only his mom should call him that." Judy puffed.
Carlisle looked over to Judy and seemed to take advantage of disarming her with that subject by asking casually, "Judy, Nick is skilled at hiding things that bug him. I am sure you are aware. So, if you could ask him about anything that you were concerned about, what might you ask him?"
Judy said it before she even had a chance to stop herself. "The fish." She regretted it immediately. Nick promised they would talk about it; she just didn't have the heart to push him on it. She didn't want to use this session to force the issue.
"I did promise, yes." Nick said almost on cue.
Judy shook her head, speaking quickly. "I'm sorry Nick, you don't have to here. That can be later. We already said we'd talk about it."
Carlisle broke in. "I had not expected to find an important topic so quickly. Nick, if this is too personal you know I won't force you. However, this is a safe place to talk about things, so it's fine if you would like to talk to her here."
There was a long silence and the fox finally broke it. "I want to. I want to talk about it. Just… Judy, you won't like this." The bunny's heart dropped. She had worried a little about what that had been about but had forced it from her mind for the most part. He hadn't shown a lot of other issues. Had she actually been ignoring something more important?
The bunny answered slowly, "It's alright Nick. You know where we stand. Nothing's gonna change any of that. My promise is as good as yours." She did not want to make an insinuation to Carlisle just what promise she was referring to.
Judy could not see him, but she knew her partner was uncomfortable at that point. He was quiet on his side of the screen a moment as the skunk, the only one Judy could see, watched him carefully. She wrote something down before Nick even spoke.
He finally said, "Judy, you know I would not have made it if I didn't eat something while I was there, right? It was too much time…" She nodded slowly at that and then remembered a detail that, in all the excitement and craziness that had followed, she forgot. There were mostly-eaten raw fish lying in the mud near where she found him. Her heart lurched in her chest, immediately figuring out where this might be going and Nick was right. She was not likely to enjoy this.
Judy called out fairly loudly from her side of the screen, "Nick, you had to. You would have died." The bunny knew Nick did not eat meat and understood that it had something to do with how he felt about living things, excluding bugs and crustaceans of course.
Nick spoke even softer, and was actually a little harder to understand. "It's not … eating it, Judy. It was never about th-that." The bunny's ears perked a bit at the obvious slight stutter. Nick was very calm and calculated when he spoke, so it was not normal to hear a break in his speech. Carlisle seemed to notice too, as scratching was heard on her notepad.
Nick seemed to try to get himself calmed down a moment, and then continued. "I was down there. It was dark. I was confused. I could hear the fire in the furnaces but I didn't know what it was. I was covered in that putrid slime. I was in terrible pain." Judy was not happy to hear the description, but she would bear it for Nick. He continued, "It was a few hours like that, only a few hours before I felt them." Nick said. "I got into the water a little more because the coolness of it made my leg hurt less. And I felt them. These fish. They swam right up to me and bumped my leg. It took a bit of time before I even realized that's what they were. It was weird… they weren't scared at all. I ignored them for a while, calling for help probably once an hour or so."
There was a bit of a pause there. Judy felt a deep sadness wash over her. She hated imagining him in there all alone with no way of knowing anyone could hear him, knowing what would happen to him if they didn't. It was terrible. What would it feel like just being somewhere knowing it was all over and just waiting for it to happen?
Nick continued after the doctor wrote a few things down. "Honestly, I think a few days went by like that. I was starting to realize that maybe I was in a place no one could find me, and I knew what… that meant. And I felt the fish, and I talked to them. I mean, it's all I could do. But it was days Judy. I was in pain and… at first that killed my appetite, but it was days." There was a slight crack to his voice.
"Nick…" Judy began, but the doctor held up a hand, making it clear that she wanted Nick to finish what he was saying. Judy wasn't so sure she wanted him to have to finish. She knew what happened. They could talk about the moving forward part. He didn't need to re-live this, did he?
Nick seemed locked into what he wanted to say however, and continued. "I felt bad at first, but then it was like a horrible pain. It was worse than my leg, but the difference was… I couldn't do anything about my leg. I could fix this new pain. And…" The fox gasped, as if just trying to compose himself. Judy leaned forward, crossing her arms over her chest, aching for her fox. Why hadn't she let him talk more about this before? He could talk to her about it, he didn't have to hide it from her. He finally resumed. "I finally… just reached down when one of those fish were nudging me and I just… picked him right up. It was that easy. Then I realized it had not been so easy. I… I had my claws in him." Nick sounded horrified.
Judy immediately felt worse. She was wrong about what was hurting her partner. It wasn't that he ate meat. She closed her eyes, cupping her muzzle, listening to him.
Nick whimpered a little, and she could tell he was actually feeling the same things he must have felt then. He spoke in a fearful, wavering voice, "I pulled my claws out of it, and it tried to flip out of my hands but I gripped him again, and I felt my mouth fill with drool. It actually came spilling out, it's never done that. I had to eat. I was going to die." He voice squeaked. Judy's eyes became wet. "…But I thought about it. I actually thought about it. What if I died anyway? The fish didn't have to die if I was doomed, what right did I have? It was alive, it would live after I was gone, wouldn't it? But as I wondered this I just… I tightened my hands. I tightened them so hard. I squeezed and squeezed with my claws and… and it stopped moving."
Judy gasped quietly at that. This was so much worse than she thought. He had been carrying that around this whole time. She needed to help him, but how could she? Where would she even begin?
Nick choked out a sob and Judy got up, but the doctor motioned her back down. Judy felt a sudden wave of rage. She needed to go to him! What the hell was the doctor doing? She was torturing him!
The doctor disregarded Judy a moment and spoke. "Nick, in the state you were in, you do understand that your instincts will do all they can to save you, yes?" she asked.
Nick coughed a bit, and then sputtered, "I pulled it up and I bit it!" His voice was absolutely anguished. "…And I tore it. And I ripped, and I swallowed. I thought it was going to taste terrible but I was so hungry that… that nothing had ever tasted so good and I ate it so fast. And then it was gone, just bones… and I was alone, and I was scared about what I did. Why did I do that? I didn't want to do that! I couldn't stop! Can you imagine how much being eaten like that had to hurt? I don't even know if it was dead!" he cried. Judy got up again, shaking with rage at the doctor. If she didn't let her go over there Carlisle was going to have to physically restrain a bunny.
"Nick, it's okay, let's go back to-" the doctor seemed to try to talk Nick back to a place of more comfort. Judy agreed. Do that. He needed to get away from this.
"And then I threw up." The tone Nick gave this confession was the darkest Judy had ever heard him use. Utter hopelessness. He then raised his voice, nearly to a shout, "After all that I threw him up! I wasted it! Its life meant nothing!" The doctor got up, looking concerned. That was enough. Judy was on his side of the screen in an instant, finding Nick on his knees, hands on the back of his head pulling as if he were trying to take a hat off or something, claws pulling behind his ears.
The doctor called out, "Judy get back, he's-"
Judy shot the doctor a sufficiently cold look that it made her stop talking as the bunny quickly pulled Nick up close against her, getting down low onto the floor with him. He was shaking so hard.
"I g-grabbed another! I ate another one!" Nick sobbed. "They kept t-touching my leg so trusting and I just ate them, one after the other, f-four of them before I stopped, before my belly was full and the m-monster was s-satisfied!" Judy held Nick in such a way that it kept his arms down, and he shook like a leaf in a storm. Judy did the only thing she could think to do. She pushed Nick back, mashing him out flat on the floor, covering his body with hers, pinning him tight. She cried softly, speaking into his ear as he shook beneath her.
"It's over Nick. It's over, that's all over. You had to live. I want you to live. I need you. If you had died I would have been all alone. I needed you to live. Don't you ever be sorry that you are still here with me!" Nick cried a bit longer, thought much more quietly. He held the bunny that had him pinned. She felt his claws in her back but understood that they were clutching her fearfully. The doctor approached slowly, seeming less trusting of Nick in his panic than Judy had been. The fox slowly sat up with Judy's help.
"Nick," Carlisle said softly, "I think… to help you understand what was happening down there I need to explain what the fish were thinking before I can discuss any of what you were feeling." She sat on the floor beside him. Judy felt bad suddenly for the murderous look she'd shot the doctor a moment before. She was still trying to help. The skunk continued, "… See Nick, the fish are just fish. You can hold them to your standard of feeling and all if you want, but have you thought much about why they were nudging you?"
Judy looked up curiously, not knowing where Carlisle was going with that. Nick seemed confused too, but making him think seemed to calm him, so the bunny was grateful all the same.
He answered softly, "Well, obviously I know it wasn't so we could hang out, play some pool or something. I guess they were trying to get bits of food out of my fur?" he asked.
"Nick…" the doctor leaned back a little. "You saw the fish, what do you think the fish down there eat? I mean, they lived there in that shallow pool. What did they eat?"
"Whatever washed down there I guess?" Nick asked, shrugging.
"And you washed down there." The skunk nodded slowly to the now seemingly exhausted fox. The bunny's ears went up at the implication.
Nick said flatly, "They were nudging me… to see if I was dead."
"So they were gonna eat him." Judy added in a grim tone.
Carlisle stood quietly and walked back to her desk. "That's life, Nick. It's not pretty, we don't always like it, but in the greatest extremes, that's just life." Nick wrapped his arms around Judy, wiping his cheek on her shoulder a bit.
"It's alright Nick." Judy said softly, stroking one of his ears. "We'll get through this. I know it hurts, all the stuff that happened, but it's gonna be both of us, alright?" she asked. Nick smiled weakly and nodded, but then his expression fell a bit.
He spoke in a bit more raspy tone, one that reminded Judy painfully of how she'd found him in the mud and muck of 'Hell'. "I know it's gonna be harder… Any time you feel my teeth close on you when I hold you in my arms…" There was deep regret in his tone, "…you say you like it, but now you know what they were… what they were used for…" he huffed. Judy gritted her teeth as she figured out what Nick was actually referring to. She had not realized that her partner would talk about any of their intimate dealings in front of the doctor. However, he seemed in that moment scarcely aware that she was there. His eyes were trained only on Judy.
The doctor quickly reminded them of her presence. "Wait, come again?" The tone of her question made it obvious she knew absolutely what that last bombshell implied.
Judy ignored the skunk. Nick was her focus. "Oh Nick, that doesn't change any of that. I've never pretended that fox teeth were anything else. Nothing changes between us, do you understand? I'll like it just as much tonight as I did this morning, okay?" she insisted. What Nick referred to of course was that happy, squirm-inducing touching and trailing of teeth over neck, shoulder, thigh, all over - that represented the more passionate variety of fox kissing. He was most certainly not about to suddenly deny her that. Judy would not hear of it!
Carlisle spoke again in the background. "Uh, back up a sec, I-"
Judy continued with a gasp of realization, "Oh no! Nick, I just realized… God, I've been so insensitive. Look… I promise, here and now, I won't eat any more tuna fish, okay? I promise."
"What." The response from Carlisle sounded as blank as her own expression.
"It's alright Carrots," Nick said as he smiled at that. "Again, the fact that mammals eat them isn't the issue, it's how I… I mean, I…" Judy put her small paw on Nick's muzzle, not wanting to get him started again. She understood. He was upset because, as hunger pushed him he lost control. He couldn't stop himself.
"… an important thing to talk about-" Carlisle tried again.
"Tell you what Nick," Judy interrupted again, actually starting to have a little fun at the expense of the mephit, "There's a market in Tundratown – they sell live fish from an aquarium there so that it's as fresh as you can get it. I overheard Fangmeyer talking about it. How about we go there and buy some of them, put them in water and take them back to the canal? Would you like that?" She remembered seeing Nick feeding the fish on their first. It seemed to make him happy back then.
This seemed to also throw Carlisle from her previous point of focus. "Oh wait, hey now, that's actually a very proactive and positive idea, Judy!" The doctor's tone was proud so the bunny beamed. Carlisle looked at Nick encouragingly. "Does that sound like a fair offering? You'd have died without the fish, but these fish would die without you. Five fish for a fox, a fox for five fish." Nick widened his eyes a little and then provided a genuine smile. He looked at the bunny with that wide grin.
"This right here. This is why I love you." He put his arms around the bunny, pushing his cheek to hers. Judy looked up at the silently stunned-looking doctor and then closed her eyes and tightly hugged her fox in return. Patient-client privilege was about to come into full swing.
A soft buzz came from the doctor's desk. It seemed to startle Carlisle, and she hit a button. "Yes, Addy?"
"Your ten-thirty is signed in," came the porcupine's electronic-sounding reply. Carlisle looked mortified, her attention snapping to the clock on the wall.
"N…No…" she said, tightening her grip on the edge of her desk. She then sat back in her chair, eyes glancing quickly back and forth between cuddling fox and bunny. Finally, she sighed and picked up her notebook.
Carlisle jotted a few things down quickly and spoke again. "Alright… That went by quickly, didn't it? So, this session told me a lot about how you two are coping, and make no mistake! It seems rough but you are coping. I think perhaps you might have forgotten to mention a pretty important social dynamic here. It's one that definitely affects how our next visit will play out… but for today we have run out of time. I will allow you two to return to duties provided by Chief Bogo on my recommendations. It will be active duty so please look out for one another." Judy gasped slightly, having feared that one or both might not be seeing a patrol car again any time soon. "That said, I might… normally recommend not entertaining any difficult assignments for a while, but it seems Chief Bogo has a different set of needs. Get cleaned up and head over to speak with him. I will call ahead. He wants to meet you in conference room G."
Judy and Nick did not keep the chief waiting, but they were both a bit dumbfounded as to why he would have requested them the moment they were done at the doctor. Would they have been requested if Carlisle had failed them? Was this so important that they would have been needed even if the doctor did not want them to work? It was not unusual for the chief to give them special assignments. It usually meant fluff work and the pair were pretty sure they could handle that.
They walked into the precinct and greeted Clawhauser who was passing time looking through video surveillance for the activities of a shoplifter. On slow mornings he would frequently assist in that manner with investigations. Judy felt a tug at her heart, knowing now a little more about the incident that put him behind a desk. She wondered if he'd ever talk to her about it now that she was a kindred officer in that regard.
The pair went past him to the second floor conference rooms and into the one specified. There was a quick sense of déjà vu for Judy as she walked in. Bogo stood on one side of the long conference room as light poured in through the tall windows that lined the far wall, and Jack Savage sat in the chair at the end. This time he was not handcuffed however. He had his arms folded over one another, sitting casually. The bunny 'hybrid' smiled brightly at them.
"Judy! Nick!" He slapped the table. "Great to see you again!"
"Hey Jack. It's not been that long," Nick said as he moved with Judy to stand at the other end of the table. Judy looked back and forth between the stripped lapine and the Cape buffalo. Did the assignment involve Jack again? Couldn't he keep himself out of trouble?
"Alright!" Bogo's heavy voice ended small talk instantly. "Officers, I take it your session went well? Welcome back to active duty."
Judy nodded and spoke. "It was helpful, yes. Thank you, Sir." She looked back over to Jack and then her boss. "What's the assignment Doctor Carlisle mentioned?"
"Good. Right to the point," the chief stated stoically. He reached into his uniform shirt pocket and pulled out his glasses, putting them on.
Nick cringed, and spoke up immediately, "I still feel crazy. Can I go home?"
"Shut it, Wilde," the chief stated bluntly. Judy expected Jack to laugh at Nick's reprimand but when she looked over to him, he seemed nervous. The chief spoke again. "Officer Hopps…" the chief used a sweet tone uncharacteristic for him. "A little bird has informed me that you and Officer Wilde may be in a relationship of a more romantic variety. Is this true?" he asked. Judy snapped her attention immediately on Jack, who was looking away.
"What the hell, Jack!?" she exclaimed.
Nick looked utterly stunned. He spoke quickly, "I mean, I can't deny I feel closer to Judy because she saved my life, Chief, there's a lot of room in a friendship for being really very close. It's a lot of wiggle room, and what you imply seems to be that-"
Judy took over, fearing that Nick, having just been thoroughly shaken, would misrepresent the facts by accident. The bunny stated briskly, "- We have been nothing but professional in our work and our dealings with the public. It's close, sure, but that side of life doesn't have anything to do with work. We find comfort in one another! I mean it's to be expected after all that's happened! I mean sure, if I were a fox I'm certain I would be going crazy…"
Nick took over again, "We aren't going to lie and say there's nothing at all there, I mean, it's been a struggle and we have each other. You have to know that we-"
Judy spoke up rapidly, "… policy only advises that it's an offense if either of us were the other's superior-" Bogo and Jack watched the pair like a tennis match.
The fox blurted, "Judy's pretty superior, don't take that wrong-"
Judy smiled nervously, "Nick means I am the stronger officer in terms of policy!"
"Stop!" the chief fairly shouted to make the babbling cease. Judy and Nick stood at attention, though the bunny did give a murderous glare to the striped rabbit. He only looked down guiltily. Bogo rubbed his chin, shaking his head. "I know the policy, Hopps. And you are right, it's an offense if you were in a command position, but it's my discretion as to whether or not it's allowed. Did you notice, Hopps, that there are no same-species partners in my precinct?" The bunny looked up and then nodded at that.
"Yes sir." She stated, knowing where he was likely going with that.
Bogo continued. "It goes a long way to prevent this complex issue from occurring. One would logically assume that fox and bunny partners would be especially safe territory but oh no, not with you two!" He had a teasing tone in his voice. Judy cringed a little. Were they getting reprimanded or what? And what the hell was Jack thinking? Judy and her partner both knew of his secret relationship with Nick's apartment superintendent. They could blow that wide open on Social media if it were not for the fact that it would be unfair to Skye.
Nick finally spoke up. "Am I to understand that our relationship has something to do with an assignment, then?" Judy snapped her attention back to the fox. She then looked back at Bogo and Jack. The buffalo leaned back, arms crossed.
"Quick as always Wilde. Yes, it does." Bogo's tone was less accusatory and more official. This caused Judy to immediately relax. Not only were they not in trouble for it, but it was somehow needed? How was that possible?
Jack was the one who spoke next. "Three days ago a professor of Mammalian History was murdered while staying at a resort day spa. The details of his murder have not been released to the public because of the sensitive nature of his work." Judy widened her eyes and tensed up immediately. They were being asked to investigate a murder? This was usually very much in detective territory.
Bogo took over. "The nature of the day spa is such that a very old agreement with the city allows it to fall outside of the normal city jurisdiction. Certain rules do not specifically apply there, and they like to keep it that way. As such, we are prevented from sending a team in to investigate the murder because of the disruption that it would cause. At the same time, the mammal who runs the place wants it to be investigated on a less official basis. Mr. Savage was friends with the deceased, a Roland Lupin. He has personal reasons for wanting the murder investigated fully, and he came to me on that regard."
Jack took over again, which Judy was honestly surprised Bogo allowed him to do. "See, the ZPD hit a snag. Because of the nature of this day spa, their HR department would not clear officers who were not in a relationship to take this case due to the obvious problems involved therein."
Bogo added, "…And a murder investigation cannot be conducted by a single officer for reasons concerning bias of evidence and a half dozen other problems." Judy furrowed her brow. What problems could there be? It was a resort. Send officers, let them investigate.
Jack continued, "I was hesitant to tell him, Judy, you have to believe that… but I told him that he did have two officers that were in a relationship. Sorry but… it was the only way. I wouldn't tell him who until he promised that unless you made it a problem there would be no hardship for either of you over it."
Judy spoke up with exasperation, "You told Chief Bogo Nick and I were in a relationship to get us on a case? What's wrong with you?!"
It was Bogo who replied. "I am listing this as a special Class A assignment, despite the near total lack of physical danger. I do this only because of the strict limits placed on the officers who can investigate it. Are you aware what that designation means to the officers who are assigned?"
Nick immediately spoke a bit loudly. "Triple pay during the course of the assignment sir, with a bonus of two times monthly salary upon its completion." Judy's ears fell back, stunned not just by the information but how clearly Nick knew it.
Bogo took his glasses off slowly and smiled. "So I ask you again, officers. Are you two involved in a romantic relationship?"
Nick spoke immediately, "You had implied correctly sir, and there is a clear avenue into romance to be found in that wiggle room of friendship-"
Judy joined in eagerly, "… promise that we will remain completely ethical and professional in this relationship and it will not affect our job in the slightest! While it was about comfort perhaps early on I found that there was definitely something more and-"
Nick interjected, "Yes sir it is definitely a relationship, I would never deny that-"
Judy spoke up again, "… have been following policy sir, we intended to tell you once we determined that-"
Nick cut in, "Well yes, informing you was the plan once we returned to active duty, just like policy stated, but we are telling you now it's definitely a romantic-"
Judy spoke over the fox, "… and if it were not for Musk Mask Officer Wolfard probably couldn't tell us apart anyway-"
Nick gritted his teeth and interrupted, "Officer Hopps has accidentally over-shared-"
"I have overshared sir," Judy stated, cupping her muzzle. Given her nervous state is could have been worse. She and Nick had explored a lot of the wonderful possibilities of their relationship over that recovery period and she had to be more careful not to divulge something she and Bogo would both regret.
Chief Bogo's wide eyes made both the mammals shut up. There was a bit of a silence before his shoulders slumped and the buffalo dragging his hand down his face.
"It's… gonna be a drinking night tonight," he grumbled.
"This is Jack's fault." Nick implied, pointing at the suddenly scandalized striped bunny.
"Hey, I didn't start the fire! That was all you two." Jack said with a shrug.
"Don't act like you are completely outside of all this, Jack!" Judy practically barked back at the other lapine. "What about Skye!?"
Jack gasped, covering his chest with a paw. "That is no one's business and I will thank you for keeping it that way. Remember, professionalism! I get to spend so little of my time outside the public eye-"
Judy exclaimed, "So little of your time? You've spent enough time with her for her to claim you on her taxes!"
Nick added, "Not that we have a problem with fox and bunny relations, it is quite nice."
Bogo added, "… will pick up a new bottle of scotch on the way home…"
Jack interjected, "Hey, I didn't have to literally go to hell to get my fox, it was all experience and poise that earned her affections!"
"And the thickness of your wallet didn't hurt." Nick laughed.
"I could be flat broke, she'd still want this bunny! I'll have you know it doesn't matter that I'm not a fox since I keep at it like a sewing machine for hours, so don't-"
"Oh my god, stop." Bogo said with obvious distress. Everyone quit talking. He sighed deeply. "When my wife asks in a text message how I'm doing, sometimes… Sometimes I just answer FB and she knows I will need some peace and quiet and a drink when I get home. Do I need to tell you what FB means?" he sighed. Judy and Nick shook their heads.
Judy spoke. "Sorry sir. Carried away there. We're friends though. Honest."
"Your assignment will require that you have full-body disguises as you are both… very easily recognized. Your fur color will be changed. You will be given colored contacts. You will wear specialized musk-mask. You won't lack a smell; you just won't smell like you. Do either of you feel you cannot do this?" he asked. Judy shook her head vigorously.
Nick spoke up finally, "When does the assignment begin?" he asked. "We had not expected to be returning to work today. We will need time to pack some clothes and the like, or are those to be provided as a part of our cover?" he asked.
"You will not need to pack clothes and you will not need to be given clothes." Bogo said, opening the door.
"I don't follow…" Judy stated, but saw a shocked expression grow on her fox's face.
Bogo grinned and stated casually, "I recall from an earlier report near the beginning of your career that you are already familiar with the Mystic Spring Oasis?"