Detectives

"Hey you guys?" Jeff said, drawing the others' attention on to him. He, Matt, Hunter and Shawn were in Matt and Jeff's hotel room and trying to relax now that they had the opportunity. Matt, Shawn and Hunter were sitting on the floor playing cards with each other while Jeff sat on the bed with his laptop (Matt had told him not to bother getting another one since he had broken his last two but Jeff hadn't listened, like usual). He had his legs crossed and the computer on his lap. His hair was hanging on his shoulders and he was chewing on the end of his rainbow strands.

"What?" Matt uncrossed his legs and stretched them out, propping them up on Shawn's lap.

"Hey!" Shawn pushed them off on to the floor, messing up the cards he had laid face down on there. "Hey! You screwed up my cards!"

"Technically you did that sunshine," Matt pointed out. He moved his legs back to his side of the floor and rubbed his knee because it was bothering him. He was having a lot of aches and pains lately. Sitting here on the floor probably wasn't a good idea in the very least yet here he was, still sitting and not making an attempt to get up. He was going to regret it later. He just knew it.

"Don't call me sunshine," Shawn said as he gave him a dirty look. "It's weird."

"It really is," Hunter agreed. "It makes you sound like a creepy rapist."

Matt's brow furrowed. "Whoa dude. Too far there."

"You think that was too far?"

"Given that I was the one that was accused of being a creepy rapist? Yeah. I definitely do."

Hunter smirked. "You know, if you are a creepy rapist, you can tell us. We won't judge you."

Shawn gave him an incredulous look. "Speak for yourself buddy." He gave Matt a venemous glare. "I would judge you. God and I will forever judge you and your rapist ways."

Matt raised his eyebrows. "Thank goodness I'm not one then. Seriously guys, you gotta quit thinking that way. It makes me worry for you."

"Hey!" Jeff pounded a fist into the bed and scowled. He was not taking being ignored well at all. "I SAID something you know!"

"Oh yeah." Matt twisted his body around to look back at his younger brother. "What is it Jeffro?"

"You know what would be cool?"

"If our bodies were made out of one hundred percent Skittles?" Matt guessed. That had been what Jeff had been going on earlier in the day.

"No."

"If pigs could actually fly?" Shawn.

"No."

"If you were the ruler of the world?" That was Hunter's guess.

"Close but no." Jeff bounced on his butt giddly. "Give up?"

"Yeah," Matt confirmed. "We give up."

"It would be cool if we were a superhero team!"

Hunter frowned. "Ummm...Jeff? I think we tried something like that before."

Jeff frowned. "Are you serious?"

Shawn and Matt both joined Hunter in nodding. "Yeah man," Matt said. "We did something like that before and it woked like...not well at all for us."

"What does though?" Shawn asked.

Matt stopped to think about that one. "Good question," he admitted. "I have no idea."

"Well damn it." Jeff sighed and punched the bed in frustration. "That spoils my plan then. What are we going to do now?"

"We could finish this card game for once," Hunter suggested. "We never actually finish one of these things."

"Because they're boring!" Jeff said. "We need to do something fun!" He shut his laptop and got up so he could set it on the table near the bed. "Ooooh! Guys! I have another idea!"

Matt groaned. He already had a feeling that he didn't want to know what it was.

"Let's make our own detective agency." Jeff puffed his chest out all proud that he had come up with that idea but he soon deflated when the others didn't immediately jump on that idea. "What? What now?"

"What uh...what exactly would we detect?" Shawn asked. "Don't detectives need cases? We don't have on unless we're going to solve the mystery as to why Hunter's nose is so big."

"Hey!" Hunter gave Shawn the dirtiest look he could muster.

"Sorry man."

"We'll FIND a case," Jeff said, reeling them back once again to the topic he wanted to be on. "That's what we'll do. It's what any good detective does." He stuck his fist out towards them. "Wrestlers...assemble!"

They all just gave him blank looks. "That's supposed to be our catchphrase," he said slowly, clearly getting irritated with their lack of response on this entire idea. "Good detectives need...oh you know what? Just forget it and let's go."

Despite their misgivings, the others all followed him out of the room. It did beat their card game, whether they admitted it or not. "Where do you guys think we'll find a case?" Shawn asked. "And what kind of cases are we even taking?"

"Yeah really," Hunter chimed in. "We shouldn't just take any old case. We should be selective. Our detective skills are too good to waste on ordinary people."

"We've never tried to detect anything though," Matt pointed out. That got him slapped upside the head by both Hunter and Shawn. "OW! What the hell guys? I was just stating a fact!"

"Ssssshhhhh!" Jeff swatted at all of them and led them over to Mark, who was sitting with Glenn and drinking a diet coke. "Taker! Hey Taker!"

"Oh dear god…." Hunter groaned. THIS was who Jeff was leading them to? He was going to get them all in trouble.

"Let me gues...you're a detective?" Mark said while Glenn just shook his head.

Jeff gasped, his eyes wide as could be. "How did you know?"

"We only heard you yahoos jabbering about it all the way down the hallway," Glenn answered.

"Hey! We're not yahoos!" Jeff denied with a pout.

"Yes you are but that's not the point." Mark leaned forward and grinned at Jeff. "I've actually got a job for you guys."

Jeff's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Mhm. Miz stole my hat and I need you fine gentlemen to detect where he is and get it back. Sound like something you can do?"

Jeff nodded. "Aye aye captain!" He saluted Mark and led the others off, completely missing how Glenn shook his head at Mark.

"Miz don't have your hat at all you liar. It's in your room."

Mark smirked. "Oh I know. But that little shit's been getting on my nerves lately so I figured why not get a little payback?" He took a drink of his Coke and began to follow Jeff and the others so he could see for himself the damage they would reap. "Besides, who says it only has to be the yahoos that can cause trouble around here?"

...

"Jeff, what are we doing?" Matt asked as they walked circles around the lobby. They had been doing this for about ten minutes now and Jeff had yet to explain to them

"We're looking for clues," Jeff replied. "We're detectives. That's what we do."

"Shouldn't we start in Miz's room or something?" Shawn asked. "We could ask the lady at the desk and-"

"No no no no he won't be there," Jeff insisted. "That's too obvious. He knows we're looking for him he won't hide there. It's too obvious."

Hunter frowned. "How would he even know we're coming for him? We JUST became detectives!" He glanced around to see who was all staring at them when he noticed that Miz was right outside the glass doors that led to the hotel's outdoor pool. "Hey. Hey guys. Look." He grabbed Jeff and made him look since he wasn't doing it on his own like Matt and Shawn were. "Look who I found."

Jeff's eyes widened. "Oh hell yeah." He took off running towards Miz as fast as he could. "EXCUSE ME PARDON ME DETECTIVE JEFF COMING THROUGH NOW MOVE IT PEOPLE! SUSPECT MUST BE PUT INTO CUSTODY!"

"Ummmm...Jeff we're not actually-oh forget it." Matt just started to chase after Jeff instead. "Jeff slow down before you hurt yourself!"

Jeff ignored him of course. He went right out the doors and headed straight for Miz, who had a towel wrapped around his waist and was heading for the door. "MIZ YOU ARE UNDER ARREST! GET ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW!"

"Holy SHIT!" Miz took one glance at Jeff and dived out of the way. That was good for him since Jeff chose that moment to try to spear him. It was bad for the little old lady behind him though, because she got speared right into the pool.

"Ohhhhh no." Matt skidded to a stop and just turned around so he could go back the way he came. Everyone else was rushing to the pool to check on the old lady and he was high tailing it. "Go back go back go back!" he told Shawn and Hunter. They had stopped and gawked at what Jeff did now. "Go go go!"

"But shouldn't we-" Shawn tried to protest.

"Hell no," Hunter said. He grabbed Shawn and started running like Matt told them to. "We saw nothing. For the sake of Steph not killing us, we saw nothing and we had nothing to do with this."