Alex was fuming. Not at the food that covered him, or even Sean all that particularly. He was angry at Erik for being such an ass, at Charles for not saying anything.
In actuality though, Alex knew all that anger was misplaced. The kid was mad at himself. He just couldn't think it, just in case the Prof was listening. Also, he didn't have it in him to accept the blame.
Alex bounded up the stairs, trekking through the hallways of the mansion as quickly as his feet would take him. He was running by the time he passed his room. He needed to leave Charles's range so he could think, not that he didn't trust the professor, he trusted the man with his life, but it just wasn't a risk he was willing to take. No one needed to know how broken or in self denial he was, it was no one's business but Alex's.
So, Alex climbed out a window. The only window he could remember having any sort of fencing near it was the one out of Charles's bedroom. So, despite the guilty feeling that formed in the pit of his stomach, Alex entered the master bedroom without permission. It was wrong, Alex was well aware but that didn't stop him.
As he fearlessly pushed himself outward into the dark night, Alex subconsciously started to go upward. This wasn't the plan though, Alex was intending on getting far away, probably even leaving the premises. But for some reason he just couldn't, so Alex managed to scale the brick wall until he got to the roof.
And when he got there, fully knowing he was still in the professors range, Alex cried.
He wasn't sure why he was crying, there probably wasn't a singular reason for it, but that didn't stop him. They weren't even tears of sorrow or sadness, they were tears of unprecedented rage.
He cried cause he felt stupid and he felt stupid for crying. Maybe five minutes had passed when Alex felt a tiny little prick in his mind, something a regular person may have disregarded, but not Alex. Alex knew this was the professor reaching out to him. Knowing he couldn't trick the professor when he was listening in, Alex took a different approach. He pleaded in mind,
Please, sir. I don't want you to come here right now.
Then Alex proceeded to curl up in a ball and focus on nothing but his breathing. He didn't want Charles to come up here, that was for sure. Not because he didn't want the comfort the man would provide, but he was afraid he'd be shunned away in this state. A rejection he couldn't handle. These were thoughts Alex didn't dare think, but that didn't mean he couldn't feel them.
There's something about a thought you don't let yourself think, something wrong. Like a puzzle piece that looks as though it should fit, but the edges are off. Like your body as a whole acknowledges it's existence, but you fight your mind with your heart. You make yourself feel instead of think. You let your soul crush under the weight of shame or embarrassment, but force your brain to think of anything but the causation of your emotions.
It was probably unhealthy.
It probably didn't even occur to Alex that three floors below where he lay, wallowing in a tumultuous storm of feelings, there was a man that felt useless in a situation that was beyond his control. Charles had heard Alex's thoughts, and stared off to a distance as he sat at the dinner table.
Alex hadn't intended to make Charles feel bad, but it was something that occurred anyways.
So Charles took the two fingers he held at his temple and let them drop. Almost instantly, Erik knew something was wrong.
"Where you just communicating with Sean or Alex?"
Hank stopped drinking the water in the glass he held at his lips, attentive.
"I-I was just told by Alex that I was unwanted. Though it is clear to me the boy is distressed."
Charles was the one who seemed distressed.
Eirk chose to refer to the boys by their hero names off the field to their faces, but when they weren't present and the topic of conversation, Erik called them by their given names. There was some psychology behind that, something Charles didn't want to delve into.
"Where is he?"
Erik had a feeling that this was something serious, something that wouldn't just warrant self-pitying like an angsty teenager in one's bedroom, Alex was somewhere else.
"The roof."
To be honest, Erik was surprised the boy didn't go further.
As Erik made way to leave the room, Charles voiced his disapproval.
"He want's to be alone." It even sounded even more untrue spoken out loud.
Erik scoffed
"He doesn't know what he needs, let alone wants. I'm going to bring him down."
Hank snorted from where he sat at the table,
"If the asshole doesn't jump, you might as well just push him."
Charles gave the young scientist an affronted look.
"He's a child, Hank. I expect better of you."
Hank held the professor's gaze in defiance for a moment before dropping his head,
"Yeah, okay."
They both had failed to notice that Erik had left the room.