I'm so sorry this has taken so long to come out! But at least it's out now, and with chapter 12 too! That's good, right? Right?
Anyway, thanks for respecting my time with my brother. We had a blast and he bought me and my sister the new Final Fantasy game. I haven't got to play it, but I want to...
WARNING! This chapter has Reno in pain! Emotional pain! There is talk of child abuse, rape, and prostitution!
Pairings: SephirothxZackxCloud RufusxReno (Eventual: TsengxRufusxReno)
DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THIS GAME!
-o-o-
Reno had no idea what to do. Rufus had kissed him, then tried to turn it into something more. Reno just freaked and ran. He had a secret crush on him, but he wasn't going to be used like his father had-
He fell to the floor, halting in his mad dash for who knows where. One hand covered his mouth, doing his best not to be sick all over the pretty white carpet. In the end, his efforts were futile against the surge of memories overwhelming him. He emptied the contents of his stomach and continued to retch afterward. He looked around him to see the planet spining and tilting, causing him to collapse forward, into his mess.
He didn't care, he didn't care about anything. Not with his past assaulting his senses like this. He had blocked it off so completely, so why now? He didn't know, he didn't care, he just wanted it to STOP!!!
Reno barely heard Rufus' voice faintly calling him, so he gathered his strength and tried to pull himself forward. He managed to crawl a few inches before collaping once again. He needed to get away from the man because he brought back the memories and made it hurt.
But now his eyes were unfocusing, going blurry, and finally shutting. He didn't know his face was soaked with tears by now. He felt gentle touches and he managed to pry his eyes open for a look at his savior.
"Rude..."
-o-o-
The next morning found Reno in an unfamiliar bed with a man he knew quite well standing over him. Rude didn't offer an explanation, but handed Reno a damp cloth. He understood and began scrubbing his face. Once he was finished, he was silently handed a cup of coffee.
Reno loved that Rude wasn't asking question. He loved that his partner wasn't making him think. He loved that he could deny the poisonous thoughts for a while longer.
"Reno," Rude called from the door of the room, snapping the red head out of his thoughts. "I brought you to my apartment after I found you. I had someone clean up the mess. Your welcome to leave anytime you want to, or not. We both have this weekend off. Tseng gave the mission he had for us to someone else."
"We had a mission?" he asked in a weak voice.
"Yes. But I called us in sick," he said and left.
Reno just relaxed into the soft bed for a few moments longer before standing. He looked down to see he was still wearing his pants from the previous night, but his shirt had been replaced with a plain white shirt. He felt a rush of affection for his partner, knowing he hadn't changed him completely in respect for his modesty, which everyone claimed he lost a while ago.
Keeping this happy thought in mind, Reno quietly left the apartment and considered where to go next. He sipped the coffee in his hand, noting that Rude's coffee making skills were fairly good and he should bum some more coffee off of him on a regular basis.
His stomach reminded him that it had emptied itself and now needed more food.
He considered going home, but didn't want to give into the poison thoughts, which might happen if he was alone.
He considered going to Tseng, but didn't want to impose. The man was nicer than Rufus, and probably wouldn't reawaken the traumatic memories that he had either.
He considered finding Zack, but realized he was probably with Sephiroth, explaining why they went AWOL.
He considered going to Cloud, and realized he would be his best bet for food and other mother henning. Reno had no mom, and his dad hadn't been remotely caring, so it was a new thing to be cared for. Zack and Sephiroth had to nurse Cloud's confidence, but Cloud could nurse all of their souls.
That decided, he sat off for Sephiroth's floor, still thinking of Cloud. Maybe when he got there, he could ask what Cloud did when his father got drunk and hit him around (which he knew he did after all that research he had done on Cloud). Maybe he could spill everything about his life and tell Cloud to help him cope. Both of these would hurt Cloud, but they were so tempting...
He was again, jolted out of his thoughts, but this time it was from the elevator coming to an abrupt stop. He quickly stepped out of the elevator and took a glance around him. He was in the hall that led to Cloud and Sephiroth's doors. To his right, all the way on the end of another hall was the glass elevator that Reno avoided like the plague. He pitied Cloud for having to come up that way after his cadet classes. He focused his attention and knocked of Sephiroth's door, guessing the blond would be there.
"Who is it?" came a muffled call from inside.
"Reno," he called back, confused until Cloud opened the door. His eyes were half-lidded, looking as if he woke up not too long ago. He probably still couldn't see.
"No luck with the eyes?" he asked, strolling past Cloud into the apartment that smelled like heaven. His stomach once again roared for his attention, causing Cloud to giggle softly.
"The blurs are more defined, I can make out colors now. Well... most of the time. Like with your hair," he said, briefly petting the fiery mane. "I still managed to out cook Sephiroth and Zack, so your welcome to breakfast as long as you lead me to the kitchen."
"Smells like it's already done."
"It is, but I forgot how to get to the kitchen."
Entering the kitchen, Reno pushed Cloud down into a chair and began to pile a plate full of food. He swore to himself to bum breakfast off of Cloud more, before turning and sitting at the table. "I'm surprised they let you be alone with your eyes like that."
"They had no choice... They were in trouble..." Cloud's lips pinched together, a tiny gesture that only Reno noticed he did while trying not to cry.
"They'll be fine. Old man Shinra can't do anything to them, and if he tries, it's gonna be a full scale SOLDIER and Turk rebellion. It would actually be pretty fun."
"Alright," Cloud muttered, unconvinced. "What about you? You sound down today."
Reno had to force himself to swallow the bite of buttered toast he had just taken. How had Cloud gotten so good at reading voice tones in just a day? "Some stuff happened."
Cloud just settled himself so he was more comfortable, the look on his face open and ready to hear anything. "Sephiroth and Zack are gone until tonight," he said. "So... Tell me about it."
Those simple words made Reno rush to spit out the whole story. Feeling how good it felt to tell someone, talk of his childhood and anything else he hadn't talked about poured out of his mouth in a jumble, trying to get it out before it poisoned him again like last night.
Cloud listened closely and carefully at everything he said, from tales of drunken stupor to Rufus to descriptions of all the horrific acts performed on his body. He soaked up every word and if the stream of words slowed, he encouraged him to continue, so he did.
And it took hours to tell Cloud everything, but it was worth it. As soon as the last account was done, and he had literally told Cloud his life story, he fell back in his chair in emotional exhaustion, ready to hear Cloud's analysis.
Instead he recieved a question. "And what would you like me to do for you?" he asked compassionately.
Reno blinked. What did he want from Cloud? He took a moment to decide. "I think what I want most is to know how to deal with it and move on. Then I want to know why people act how they act."
"The second one is simple, so I'll start with that if you don't mind."
Reno sat up eagerly- he hadn't expected Cloud to be able to tell him either.
"Rufus is the heir to the most powerful company in the world. He can't exactly give his heart away. He wants to try though. I wouldn't recommend starting something with him, because he could end up deciding he doesn't need love. Tseng-"
"I don't need to know about him. It's his duty to look after me."
"Shh. Tseng watches over you and keeps you safe from the shadows. This is because he loves you-"
"Cloud..."
"I know what I'm talking about."
"And how do you know all of this all of a sudden? You never used to."
"I met a really sweet girl in church during my time under the plate. She taught me about stuff like this, so shut up and let me tell you."
"Ooh. Was she cute?"
Cloud sighed and let his head loll back on his shoulder for a moment. "I'm gonna tell you a little secret Reno."
He leaned in closer. He loved secrets. Cloud rolled his shoulders and opened his eyes. "I'm blind."
"Oh my ever loving puppybo, really?"
"No. It's all an elaborate hoax meaning to set you up for failure. Anyway, Tseng loves you. He takes time for you and before I ran away-"
"Got confused."
"I saw how he looked at you when you were hurt and how he looked at Zack for hurting you. He looked like Zack looked when he found Sephiroth overworked me during a training session. Actually, he looked different, but the same. Get it?"
"No," he confessed, pushing his now cold breakfast away.
Cloud patiently tried to explain his thoughts. "Zack can't keep things off his face. You can almost read his mind by looking at his expression if you know him well enough. Tseng, on the other hand, was trying to keep it off his face so no one would guess. He also looked scared, but that's probably because your so complex and he doesn't know how to go about loving you."
Reno leaned back in his chair again, chewing his bottom lip. He considered how he felt now and what Cloud was telling him. "Do... Can you try to figure out why my dad..."
"He loved you. He hated you. He hated himself. You were still young and hadn't wasted your life like he had. He wanted to ruin you so he could have company in the misery he was living."
Reno was reluctant to bring up Cloud's past, but had to. "You sound like you put a lot of thought into that."
"I have. My dad was almost the same, except he didn't..."
"Force himself on you and take your virginity in the back of a bar?"
"Not for lack of trying, though."
"How did you avoid him... hurting you like that?"
Cloud gave him a smile that had no malice or anger or bitterness in it, making Reno wonder how he stayed so strong. He supposed it was the knowledge that he was loved by two of the most famous men in the world. Then again, Cloud said two other of the world's most famous men loved him, and he still couldn't do it.
"I ran. To the mountain, to the woods. It didn't matter, as long as I was smaller and could run."
"What about when you were sick?" Reno had already revealed he checked up on Cloud, but he didn't seem to mind.
"I hid. I was tiny Reno. I could literally hide behind a tree if need be. I'm gonna have to show you pictures from when I was that young."
"I'm sure it'll fry my brain trying to figure how you survived."
"I'll be ready with a bandage."
"Oh, cheers then."
"And for the first part. How to get over something like this is not easy. My case wasn't as severe as yours, and everyone is different, but I can tell you what I did."
"Have at," he invited the blond.
"I made sure it was very deeply implanted in my brain that he was gone and didn't care enough to come back. Then I spent some time trying to find a reason to live so I wouldn't do something I would regret. When I found it, I pursued it. If you achieve what you made your reason to be, find a new one. Don't let what happened enter your brain, because it's hard as hell to get it out. But if it does happen, remember your reason for exsisting and that there are people that love you. It doesn't have to be Rufus and Tseng if your uncomfortable with the idea. There's always me, Zack, Sephiroth (yes, Sephiroth, don't give me that look), and Rude at least."
Reno leaned even further back in his chair and sighed. "I'm still hungry..."
Cloud smiled and picked up his plate, dumped the cold food in the trash and put the plate in the sink. Then he proceeded to begin cooking something else, pulling out everything he needed with ease.
"Your blind?"
"I just like cooking, so I know my way around any kitchen I cook in."
Reno watched with sleepy awe as Cloud made him lunch, making him a dish Reno could never make on his own, and Cloud had done it pretty much blind.
Sooner than Reno thought possible, a steaming plate was set before him. He took up his fork and eagerly dug in. The dish was mildly spicy and consisted of noodles with some kind of red sauce. Small chunks of meat were mixed in, also covered with the same red sauce. He loved it, and told Cloud as much.
Cloud chuckled, getting himself some as well. He stopped at the refridgorator and withdrew two bottles of water. He held one out to the blurs of red he could see and Reno accepted gratefully. Cloud sat opposite of him and began to eat his own meal. Halfway through, Cloud looked up at him.
"Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Reno considered, popping a piece of mystery heavenly tasting meat in his mouth. "Two things. First, what are you wearing?"
Cloud blushed and took a bite of noodles. When he was done chewing, the blush had faded some. "Sephiroth's old clothes. I don't have any of my own."
"I'll take you shopping in payment for all your help."
"Just be happy, Reno. That's all I want."
"Your weird." Another piece of meat. "Second, I don't wanna crash alone right now. Mind if I sleep here tonight? I'll get out tomorrow morning, I swear."
"You can take my old bed. Zack's sleeping in his quarters tonight, and I'm going to sleep next to Sephiroth tonight."
"Just sleep?" Reno teased.
"Just sleep," Cloud agreed, laughing.
-o-o-
That night, a few minutes into Reno and Cloud sitting down to dinner, Sephiroth and Zack strolled into the apartment. Within moments, they were in the kitchen. Sephiroth hoisted Cloud up out of his seat and spun him around.
When Cloud was put back in his seat, they greeted him at last.
"Hello, Cloud. Reno," Sephiroth inclined his head at the Turk, then got him some of the chicken that Cloud had made. It was just as good, if not better than everything else he had fed them.
"I love you, Cloud. I'm sorry, Reno," Zack hugged them both and got himself some. He took the last remaining seat at the table.
"What happened?" Cloud asked anxiously.
Zack took time out of devouring his food to ruffle Cloud's light blond spikes. "We were told your not as important as out duties to the company and talked at all day. Twice actually because of Seph."
Cloud looked to Sephiroth to see what he had to say, but he just shrugged, so Zack continued. "This big guy here waited until they were done, then told them it was a load of shit. Not in those words, but he definately implied it. Then they started all over. When they were done the second time, they didn't give Seph any time to say anything, but instead they kicked us out."
Reno snickered and the attention was drawn to him. Sephiroth was first to comment. "Reno... Not meaning to imply I don't wish you to be here, but why are you here?"
"I heard you had a mission," Zack offered.
"I took a sick day," he offered vaguely.
Cloud filled in the blanks for him. "He's gonna spend the night in my room, is that alright?"
"As long as your sleeping in my bed tonight, I see no reason why he should not be able to borrow your quarters for tonight," Sephiroth answered, giving him a friendly nod.
Cloud blushed a faint pink and smiled. "Oh! Before I forget, I can see a bit better. The blurs are a little more defined."
Zack gave Reno a high-five. "Awesome. By tomorrow morning, you should be able to see almost everything!"
"And if this progress keeps up, by tomorrow night you should have all of your sight," Sephiroth said quietly, placing one of Cloud's hands in his own.
-o-o-
Zack was saying his goodbyes to Sephiroth, after having done so to Cloud already. Cloud followed Reno to his old room and sat with him for a while.
"Cloud... What if I pursue them? I... Ever since my dad messed me up, I've slutted around and could not keep my legs closed... What If they don't want me? Rufus already made a comment about it. He obviously doesn't want slum trash."
"Reno," Cloud quietly scolded. "They both love you, no matter what. It doesn't matter what you've done. You just have to prove that you'll stay loyal to them."
Reno fell back on the bed with a huff. "Well, first I have to choose one."
"Why not both?"
"Didn't you hear what I said about slutting around and how they'll not like that? And what you said about being loyal?"
"Get them to fall in love and then ask to join them. The worst they can do is so no, and if they say yes, you have two men that will fight for you."
Reno hummed in acknowledgement. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Cloud fidgit. "What is it?"
"Uh, um... Reno... How many men... have you been with?" Cloud asked, face a burning shade of red.
Reno looked at him with wide, very surprised eyes. "Including my father?"
Cloud shook his head. "How many have you wanted to be with? Not when you had to... for whatever reason."
Reno thought it over. "Two. But after a while those guys started being... not nice."
"Reno, two guys doesn't make you a slut."
"I was practically a prostitute, kid."
Cloud curled up next to him and Reno put his arm around him. "If you had any other option, you would have taken it. It was the only way to survive." Cloud looked up at him with serious blue eyes. "You've had such a hard life."
"You did too. Your was worse in some ways, better in other. You had mental abuse, I had sexual abuse. You had health problems that meant you couldn't run away for good, I had to be a prostitute to survive..." Reno laughed, short and forced.
Cloud curled up tighter and began to hum what sounded like a lullaby. Within moments, they both were asleep.
When Zack and Sephiroth looked in to let Cloud say one last goodnight, they saw how they fell asleep. They both silently agreed to leave them there. Zack could take Cloud's spot next to Sephiroth.
Sephiroth pulled Reno's legs on the bed more comfortably while Zack slid pillows under their heads and tucked a blanket around them. It was a tiny bed, but with Cloud all scrunched up, it didn't matter. Anyone could fit in it. Cloud barely took up a corner.
Sephiroth laid a kiss on Cloud's lips and, after a moment of hesitation, Reno's cheek. Zack tucked the blanket in around them and whispered oaths of love to Cloud and brushed stray red hairs out of Reno's slightly scrunched up face.
"We love you Cloud," Zack whispered.
"Please stay strong Reno," Sephiroth whispered, just as quite.
They both retreated out of the room and shut the door quietly behind them.
-o-o-
I'M SO SORRY RENO! And readers, don't hate me! I just like writing stories with people that have bad backgrounds, but eventually heals...
If any of you have anything you'd like to see, just leave a review and I'll try to work it in!