Rating: M
Beta: None (I should get one, huh?)
Warnings: OOCness, OCs, rantings from a mad author, inconsistent updates, grammatical errors(?), past death, angst, supernatural elements, yaoi, rape, self-harm, insanity, gore, child abuse (and lots of it), wide variety of abuse, might-not-be-accurate-on-mental-disorders-but-I-tried-doing-it-as-accurate-as-I-could-despite-not-being-a-psychologist-by-doing-loads-of-research, might-be-using-wrong-terminology-for-some-stuff
Genre(s): Romance, Horror (kinda?), Supernatural (very important), Hurt/Comfort
Disclaimer: Whims of Anime does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, only the plot of this fic and the OCs. Yu-Gi-Oh! GX belongs to their rightful owners. Please support the official release.
Dedication: Rapid P. Saiko, the commenters, followers and those who favorited. Thanks!
Ship(s): Johan x Judai, onesided!Ryo x OC
Anime: I turned 18 recently (on the 24 of September, hurray~) but nothing else seems to have changed.
Chaos: (?) (What's wrong with her?) Whatever.
Night: Thank you for the favorites, follows and comments. We appreciate all of your feedback! Now, we shall present the next chapter: Scream For Their Insanity!
~~~1R~~~
2: Scream For Their Insanity
Johan hadn't slept well last night. He'd been plagued with nightmares of a bloodied corpse that had vaguely resembled Megumi's stepfather, a man that had been stabbed in the neck and a young boy that was covered in blood. He didn't know why he was so frightened over the things his patients had done. He shouldn't be afraid, right?
Johan checked his phone to see it was 5:08 in the morning and groaned. Might as well get to work early, even though his shift started from 6:00 a.m. and ended at 9:00 p.m. He hoped he'd be able to sleep tonight.
He'd probably need it.
~~~1R~~~
In a room in solitary, a boy with white hair hid in the corner, trembling out of fear than the cold. He had his knees drawn in and his thin arms wrapped around his knees. His bright green eyes stared at the yellow-green eyes that seemed to be gazing at him from the shadows. He sobbed, putting his head down to avoid seeing it, speaking with a hint of an English accent, "You're not real. You're not real. Please go away."
"Aster, how is your mother doing?"
Don't you think it'd be fun to break your fingers?
BREAK BREAK BREAK
"Hey, do you want to catch a movie sometime?"
Or do you want to snap someone's neck instead?
SNAP SNAP SNAP
"Why don't you want to talk to me about what you saw?"
Blood looks good on people, especially on us.
BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD
Aster unwrapped his arms from his knees to cover his ears, screaming and crying. The being wrapped in the shadows watched him silently. Aster banged his head against the wall, "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" He felt ants crawling up his legs and whimpered. The being with the bright eyes approached him silently, something other illusions didn't do.
"Go away!"
We look good in red, don't we?
RED RED RED
Yes, yes we do.
Aster felt that creature place their hands on his head and he sobbed, feeling it run its hands through his hair. He felt something around his neck and he felt like choking. He did nothing to stop it, the being placing a monster-like hand on his cheek.
SNAP BREAK BLOOD RED
Pathetic.
Worthless.
KILLER KILLER KILLER
"Aster, I am real. The voices are not. There is nothing on you." The creature said and Aster had no other way to call it. It was a man and a woman yet not a man or a woman. It had no name and it was terrifying to him because it always appeared when he was scared and alone. No one else could see it.
"Help me." He cried out to it, reaching out to it, the tears rolling down his cheeks slowly. He wanted to stop crying but he was so scared. He could hear his mother talking to him, could hear the dying gasps of the boy he killed and the voices were the worst.
That's not nice.
NICE NICE NICE
Why would anyone help you.
It's a beast.
How ugly.
Ew.
KILLER KILLER KILLER
"Shhh," The creature said before kneeling down next to him and wrapping its inhumane hands around him. It - she? - began to rock him gently, humming a song that sounded vaguely familiar to him, "You are special. You have been recognized by an amazing person and that amazing person cares for you. That makes you very special."
Aster sniffed, "I miss Mother." He missed a lot of things from home. In Oxford, the voices weren't so loud and he didn't see things that weren't supposed to be there that often. Christian was in Oxford too, along with his cousins. He leaned closer to the creature, "I want to go home."
What is home?
HOME HOME HOME
Nice song.
Mom.
Why is this so nice?
"And you will," The creature said in a soothing and gentle tone, "Judai will make sure you do."
JUDAI JUDAI JUDAI
Who's that?
Nice name.
I want to meet that person.
JUDAI JUDAI JUDAI
Judai. What a nice guy. With that thought, Aster fell asleep once more and he was laid down gently on the floor by the creature, the voices silent for once. When someone came to check up on him, he was alone with no traces of another person being in that room.
~~~1R~~~
"You must be the new Amon!" Riku – no, Nori – said as he grinned, "Riku is very happy to meet you! Asuka-hime said you were very handsome and young but Riku didn't know you were going to be this young!" He waved his hands excitedly in the air before he stopped and hummed, "Do you like oranges or apples better, new Amon?"
"Oranges, Nori." Johan said as he sat down in a chair while Nori stayed curled up in the corner of his bed. He smiled gently at the boy, "My name is also Johan. Anderson Johan."
"Jo-han And-er-son?" Nori said, breaking the word apart before nodding, "Would like to be called Johan, Jo or Han?" He paused before stating, "Johan does sound better, right? Okay, Johan, what are we talking about to-day?"
Nori's speech was less advanced than that of the previously recorded other five personalities. His speech resembled that of a child's, along with his mannerisms. He also couldn't seem to understand how informal his speech was while one of his other sides – Kyo – was too formal and rigid.
"Well, Nori, I'd like to talk to you and the others about anything you want."
"Others? Riku doesn't under-stand what you mean, Johan." Nori said, tilting his head to the side in confusion. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Johan with his glassy eyes that didn't show anything about him.
Those eyes unnerved Johan the most. They looked at him yet they weren't focused on him. He appeared to be daydreaming, focusing on anything but what he was looking at. Could it be because Riku wasn't the one occupying the body? Or was it just because Riku - that is to say, Nori - was overmedicated?
Riku had come out before, once. He had been crying most of the time during that episode, apologizing profusely but it had been the first time he had ever looked focused on anything. Not even the intelligent Kyo and the delinquent Seru had intense eyes.
Johan smiled reassuringly, "I'm talking about Kyo, Byakko, Yun, Seru and Niki, Nori."
Nori looked away, suddenly interested at the long sleeves of his unfastened straight-jacket. He mumbled but, since the room was quiet, Johan was able to hear him say, "I don't like talking about them and others do not like talk-ing to them. Riku says I shouldn't tell you any-thing."
"Why not?"
"Riku says you might wake up Byakko." Nori whispered and then began to trace a finger on the wall, "He's a bad person, says Riku. He hurt people. He is not a good person. I'm scared of Byakko."
It was odd. Nori didn't use third person often. Out of all of the personalities, Nori was the only one that called himself "Riku" and used phrases like "Riku says" or "Riku likes oranges". This was one of the few times Nori spoke of how he was feeling. What would this mean for the future?
"Why does Byakko hurt people? Do you know, Nori, Riku?" Johan asked. He stopped himself from reaching out to touch the small boy who was curled up on the bed, as if trying to make himself smaller.
"Nori doesn't want to talk about anythin', got it?"
Johan immediately noticed the change in tone and voice. Riku looked up and his unfocused eyes were slightly narrowed while his bangs covered one of his eyes. This must be the darker, dangerous – though not as dangerous as Byakko – delinquent Seru.
Seru drew himself to full height before glaring at Johan, "Another shrink, eh? Riku's fine, ya know. Riku doesn't need someone like ya messin' with his head. Riku has us. Even Byakko gets 'im better than any other shrink."
Seru had an impolite speech, more so than Nori, but Seru's was intentional since it showed how he had no respect for anyone. He was obviously hostile but at least he wasn't attacking him so he wasn't very dangerous. Then again, Seru had tried to bite off fingers and ears of nurses, aides and doctors.
"Seru, I mean no harm." Johan informed the hostile personality of Riku. Seru just crossed his arms and glared, his red-violet eyes staring deep into Johan's. It was unnerving, since there was no depth to that gaze.
"Ya people always say that. Can't stand people like ya. Riku does and Nori too. Dunno why." Seru laid back on the wall and stared at him, "Johan, right? That's ya name, ain't it?"
"Seru, can you tell me about that day and why Byakko killed Riku's uncle. I need to know more about Byakko," Johan pressed on, "Or would you rather talk to me about Yun, Niki, Kyo, Nori and Byakko?"
Seru glared, "How 'bout neither? I don't wanna talk to ya. So go rot in a ditch, you asshole." He was being very hostile and Johan's next appointment - with Megumi, of all people - wasn't for at least less than half an hour.
"Seru, I don't want to hurt any one of you. I want to help, so let me." Johan coaxed. He wanted to be of help to this person. He was just a child, one of the youngest patients that had been interned in this medical center. He sat down on the bed, closer to Seru, but not touching him.
"Why do ya care?" Seru asked, frowning at Johan, trying to scoot away. Johan didn't say anything for a while and Seru's eyes were no longer furrowed, watching Johan almost with new eyes.
"A friend of mine had an eating disorder, bulimia nervosia," Johan sighed, running a hand through his hair, remembering those horrible high school months, "She almost died and I learned the hard way how terrifying disorders were. What's even more scary, though, is that people try their hardest to not talk about them if they can avoid it. That's why I want to help. Just like that doctor helped my friend, I want to help those that need it."
"Is she okay now? That friend of yours?" Seru whispered and he sounded so young when he spoke like that. He cleared his throat, looking away, "I just wanted ta know, alright? I don't really care, alright?"
Johan thought that was something cute of Seru. He was a fifteen year old boy, after all. He was still so young. Johan smiled sadly at him, "Yeah. She's studying to be a doctor now. She's healthy, as well."
"Really?" Seru muttered. He was quiet, glancing around the room before he glared, "You're just gonna make us disappear, ain't ya? That's what all the shrinks tried ta do!"
"I'm not going to make you, Nori, Yun, Niki, Kyo or Byakko disappear," Johan replied, "You were created to protect Riku, right? You came to existence because Riku needed someone to protect him from whatever was hurting him."
Seru's glare weakened, "Why are ya being so nice?"
The fact that he was so distrustful of someone being nice to him was a sign that someone had already abused their trust before. Seru sighed, trying to not look as mad, "All the other shrinks wanted ta get rid of us. So why do ya wanna keep us 'round, Johan?"
"I don't think you should be gotten rid of, Seru," He answered honestly, "Not when you are essential for Riku to protect himself. I hope you come to understand that, Seru, along with the rest."
"I see. You some kinda saint that sees the good in people, or somethin'?" Seru asked and, before Johan answered, he continued, "I don't think ya will see anythin' good in Byakko. If ya can do it, get rid of 'im. He's bad for Riku. He hates shrinks, too. Be careful of 'im, Johan Anderson."
"Why, Seru?"
Seru looked at him and blinked slowly. He closed his eyes and laid down. He was quiet before his eyes opened slowly. He turned his gaze towards Johan and the teal-haired doctor was shocked by the vibrant and focused gaze directed at him, "Johan, get away. Leave us alone." That wasn't Seru or Nori. Could it be Byakko, Kyo, Yun, Niki or - perhaps - Riku?
"Ri-."
"Leave, please," He said. He sniffed, curling up in a small ball, "Leave us alone. I, we, they, he, she, need to be alone." His tone was so soft, almost hurt and sorrowful, "Please get away. I, we, don't want you to be hurt anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I'm so sorry."
The one incident where Kuonji Riku manifested, all he did was cry and apologize profusely.
"Riku," Johan was positive it was him, not any of the other personalities "what do you-?"
"Anderson-sensei, time's up," Rei said, sticking her head into the room. She was quiet when she saw the situation Johan was with his patient and blushed, "Oh, sorry. I'll just . . . go."
"It's fine, Rei, we were just finishing here." Johan said, getting up. He looked at the wild gaze of the boy looking at him that wasn't acting like the other personalities. He was rocking himself slowly and he was whispering things to himself in different voices. Among the different voices, he heard Seru cursing at someone while Nori whispered that he wanted oranges.
"Sorry I just burst in," The nurse in training said, bowing formally to Johan when they left Riku's room. She looked so flustered that Johan felt sorry for her, "We just need to head over to see Megumi and I didn't want us to be late so-."
"Don't worry about it, Rei-san," Johan said, patting the younger girl's shoulder, "It was a simple mistake. Besides, it means that we're still in schedule."
He passed Riku's file to Rei and she passed him Megumi's file. He had already read it the night before but it helped to refresh his memory. Added notes for Megumi included: enjoys talking about books, movies and anything related to the 'outside world'. Favorite fruit: banana. Likes sweets. Favorite ice cream: vanilla. Johan wondered why those notes were important just as they made it to Megumi's room, Room 2450. Just a couple of rooms away from Yuki Judai.
When Johan stepped into the room, he found Megumi was humming as he read a book. He spotted the cover of it and smiled, "The Hobbit? I didn't know you liked fantasy books, Megumi."
"You don't know a lot about me, Jo-kun," Megumi replied, looking up from his spot. He placed a bookmark in the page he left off before turning to Johan, "What are we talking about today? Did you see Nori? Or was he Seru today? I hope he was Yun today, though. Yun is fun because he's so easily flustered."
"I'm not here to talk about the other patients with you, Megumi," Johan sighed as he sat down in the boy's bed. He could see a collection of books in a corner and some of the walls had been painted. He turned to the raven-haired boy, "You must be trouble to the guys that paint this room white."
"Nah, Ryo-chan told them not to." Megumi replied, going to the side of his wall that was covered with paintings of people and other images, "Painting relaxes me and it's part of the way I vent. Besides, this has been my room for over two years." He laid himself down on bed, almost kicking Johan accidently.
"So, what do you want to talk about, Megumi?" Johan asked.
"I get to pick?"
As Johan nodded, Megumi sat up with a smile, "Great. I wanna talk about Mai-nee. I haven't seen her in three years, you see, ever since I got myself here. She would visit me if she could but I think she's scared of seeing me like this. I would be too. I am the psycho kid that tore apart his 'innocent' stepfather."
"Mai-nee?" Johan perked up, "You have an older sister?"
"Well, not really. I wish," Megumi pouted before his eyes shone with admiration, "She's like an older sister to me, has been since I was little. We met when I was dragged into the bar she worked in. I must have been at least nine years old when it happened and she was eighteen." Megumi chatted, a brief smile coming onto his face. He cleared his throat, eyes avoiding Johan's gaze, "She always helped me out after . . . afterwards."
He wasn't telling him the whole truth, not that Johan minded. He was talking to him a little bit more about his past, even if the things Megumi said offhandedly were shocking to him. Why was a nine year old in a bar? What did Mai help Megumi after?
"How does she look like?" Johan asked, continuing the conversation since Megumi looked ready to close himself off.
"She's very beautiful," Megumi said, eyes lighting up once more while he began to wave his hands around, "I'm gay but I still think she's beautiful. She has this really nice, long blonde hair and shining purple eyes and I wished I looked like her. I'd bet Ryo-chan would like me if I wasn't so ugly."
Low self-esteem issues. He offhandedly called himself ugly as if that was the fact of the world. Johan wasn't interested in Megumi in the romantic sense but he couldn't deny the boy was attractive.
"Oh, and Mai-nee had these huuuuuge breasts!" Megumi placed his hands in front of his flat chest in amazement before chuckling, "Guys liked to look at them but she didn't give them the time of day. She was so cool! She could also outdrink anyone and she liked to sneak me candy whenever no one was paying attention to me. I liked to talk to her about my problems. I miss her."
"Is she the only person in your life that you can say you had a bond with?" Johan asked, writing notes about Mai. How come Megumi hadn't talked about her before? Perhaps she was linked with something he had buried in his mind and was now coming to terms with.
Megumi nodded, "Yeah. She didn't ever hit me or call me names. She said I was handsome and it didn't sound so bad coming from her. She actually talked to me and listened to me. She would sing to me when I was sad after and she'd hide me if Kurt was angry at me. She would take hits for me because 'I was just a kid'." He trailed off, moving away from Johan, "She was the only one that treated me like I was human. I didn't feel like some toy with her around."
She was the only one that treated me like I was human.
That admittance made Johan's heart clench. Megumi must have been abused emotionally, physically and mentally throughout his life outside of this medical center and the only person that had helped him was a girl in a bar that was nine years older than him and wasn't always around to protect him.
"Would you like to see her again if you could?"
Megumi nodded, "Yeah. Even if she's scared of me for being such a messed up monster, I'd like to see Mai-nee again." He paused, "Mai-nee and he helped me. A long, long time ago."
"He?" Johan asked. Megumi was opening up more today? It really was his lucky day.
"An upperclassmen. He once saved my life from being mugged in some alley. He took me under his wing before he left, leaving me with Mai-nee again." Megumi blinked slowly and yawned, Johan doing the same shortly after. He shook his head, "It doesn't matter, though. Hey, hey, what type of music do you like?"
Why did Megumi change the subject so abruptly? What was it that he wanted to hide?
"To be honest, I don't listen to a lot of music." Johan answered while Megumi hummed. He tilted his head, "What about you? What type of music do you like?"
"I appreciate all kinds of music. Shou and Asuka allow me to use their phones to listen to music. Shou likes foreign music, listening to Korean singers and English singers, sometimes even Russian! Asuka has all the types of music but one of my favorites are the symphonies." Megumi said happily.
"Do you prefer Mozart or Beethoven?"
"Beethoven. I'm biased, though." Megumi replied without hesitation and grinning.
"Really? Why is that?"
"Back in junior high, I used to play the piano because my senpai liked music and so I learned to play Beethoven for him." Megumi chuckled, "He really liked when I played Beethoven, hence the reason why I prefer him over Mozart. Although, Bach isn't bad either."
Megumi was really educated, just like his report had detailed. He seemed to be in his element talk about music and perhaps literature. It seemed a shame that such a brilliant mind was here instead of pursuing an education.
"You seem to like a lot of foreign composers."
"Well, I'm half-Japanese so I looked up my Western roots." Megumi answered. He began to talk about how he enjoyed reading Western comic books and liked Marvel comics over DC. The longer Megumi talked about his interests, the more Johan could see how happy he was.
In Marufuji-sensei's notes, Megumi only started opening up when he had played him the symphony Ventus. The boy had begun to cry, saying that he had forgotten how music sounded like in his isolation. Since then, he had been a better patient. It seemed that the only way to have Megumi talk was talking about his interests.
"Apeuge halkwigo ganeun." Megumi broke into his thoughts with a beautiful melody and Johan was in awe at his voice, "Nari seon baram sogedo. Ham jum byeoti johaseo usna. Bappeuge seuchigo ganeun. Mujeonghan saram sogedo. Ham jum beosi johaseo usna."
"I didn't know you could sing."
"I only sing for the others; I don't usually do it for the doctors." Megumi admitted, "They appreciate my singing better and it soothes them. The new kid, Shion . . . I mean Aster, he prefers my songs than the voices in his head. That's why I told Judai that. . ." He stopped, looking at something behind Johan. His eyes grew wide before he looked away, "Nevermind."
"Megumi," Johan asked gently, "what did you want to say?"
"Nothing." Megumi said, glancing behind Johan again. Johan turned around just in time to see something vanish into the walls. It had looked like black smoke and glowing eyes. Whatever it had been had clearly rattled Megumi, if the boy had seen it as well.
"Megumi, what was that?" Johan asked, eyes trained on the wall.
"Oeroum eobsneun goseul chajge doemyeon," Megumi replied instead of continuing, eyes wide and curling up slightly, "Nawa geu goseuro hamkke gadao."
Rosenfield Megumi sings loudly to doctors to show he doesn't want to talk anymore.
Johan sighed, "Alright, Megumi. I'll drop it." He paused, "I'll try to find Mai but I cannot promise anything. Sorry." He stood, watching the slight tremble Megumi had. He hated seeing him like that. He needed to help Megumi, Riku and all his other clients. But how?
"Bye bye, Jo-kun. See you tomorrow." Megumi whispered.
Johan left the room, still reeling over the image he had seen.
What had that been?
~~~1R~~~
"You didn't need to frighten Megumi, Yubel." Judai sighed, leaning on the wall with an almost annoyed expression when Yubel informed him of what had transpired in room 2450, "It's not like Jo-kun would take him seriously over me ordering a supposed hallucination to Aster's room. Everyone thinks he's crazy, anyways."
"I'm aware, Judai." Yubel answered, hiding in the corner closest to Judai but keeping close to the wall the way he had done when he had been checking up on Megum, "But that doctor, Anderson Johan . . . I think he can see me."
"See you?" Judai's eyes narrowed, "There's not a lot of normal people that can see you. So far, only Megumi, Manjoume and Aster have that ability. Not even Riku, with all his gifts, can see you."
"Need I remind you that Riku's situation is different than the other three." Yubel said, almost with a yawn. Judai was aware of his situation, aware of how the incident years ago affected Riku's gifts. Yubel continued, insistent on the point he was making, "I'm telling you that the doctor could be another of the chosen few to have the ability to see spirits."
"Who cares if he can. What would he know about this world? A power like that is wasted on a person who doesn't walk on the path of darkness." Judai answered, eyes flashing gold briefly. Yubel paused at that moment and that allowed Judai to continue speaking, "Check up on Manjoume again and Aster if you can. I want to assess Anderson Johan myself."
"Judai-."
"Yubel, trust me." Judai offered Yubel a sly smile, "When have you ever felt the need to doubt me," The brunet huffed when Yubel gave him an I-can-give-you-numerous-examples-as-to-why-I-need-to-doubt-you look and looked away, "Have a little faith, Yubel. I know what I'm doing."
"Whatever you say, Judai."
"Hey, I can see you rolling you eyes at me." Yubel rolled his eyes again and Judai was ready to slam himself against the wall to punish him but, before he could, Yubel vanished. Hopefully going to follow his orders or to apologize to Megumi for scaring him. Whichever came first.
"Oh well." Judai grinned, looking at the door, "I hope you're worth the buzz, Jo-kun."
~~~1R~~~
Anime: Next chapter will finally show Judai and Johan interacting (that small scene in Chapter 1 doesn't really count) and a bit more on the other characters. Poor Manjoume didn't get his moment in this chapter.
Chaos: Review, favorite or follow. We'd like to know what you think. Anime will try to get this chapter up as soon as possible.
Night: We will see you in Chapter 3!
Notes:
*Chapter named after one of the lyrics in One Reason (the song).
*Aster's scene: VOICES - The voices were something I had trouble with. So, while cruising through YouTube, I found a video about auditory hallucinations. I watched the whole thing and imagined hearing that every day. Creepy, guys. If you want to check it out, it's called Auditory Hallucinations An Audio Representation. I tried to see how my older brother would react to it and he was so spooked he didn't finish listening. Creeeeeeepy.
*Yubel has another cameo. Hurray! I really love Yubel.
*Riku's Personality #1 - Nori. With the innocent mannerisms of a child, the least dangerous personality.
*Riku's Personality #2 - Seru. With the gangster actions, he's the second dangerous personality, behind Byakko.
*Ah, I love Rei. She's so cute.
*Megumi's a bit of a nerd (complete nerd). The Hobbit is still good, you guys.
*Mai from the original YGO! Not really a big fan of Mai but, for some reason, I couldn't see anyone else as a "big sister" for Megumi.
*Megumi's song - Korean - My Dear Friend, Thank You For Being You by IU. It's such a nice song. It also helps Megumi with any fear he feels. It's a defensive mechanism for him.
*People that can see Yubel: Judai, obviously. Aster, who's somewhat insane and sees what most people can't. Megumi, who I love and adore. Manjoume, who could see spirits in canon. Johan, who can also see spirits in canon and because it's important to see Yubel in this story.
*Riku's gifts are mentioned briefly but . . . huh?! In Beyblade's MIAB, Riku does possess a certain degree of powers but they will be altered. So far, however, he cannot see Yubel. Go figure.
*Yubel's pronoun issue: Yubel will be using the pronouns he/she/it in this story. The reason why is because, due to Yubel being a hermaphodite, the characters will say which pronoun they will use to address Yubel. Judai sees him/her as both so he will switch on Yubel's pronouns from time to time. Aster sees Yubel as a creature, not a person so he will use the 'it' pronoun. Megumi sees Yubel as a female so he will address Yubel as 'she'. Manjoume, on the other hand, will address Yubel as 'he' or 'it' from time to time. The only polite one, Johan, will ask Yubel in what manner he/she wants to be addressed.
*JUDAI AND JOHAN MEETING HURRAY!