Chapter 5: Connected Paths

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. ~Jean de La Fontaine

x - Colourful Moments - x

Lavi just stared outside the window silently, his eyes never moved at all. The conversation that he had with Bookman was all forgotten immediately. His mind was just in total blank, not knowing what was exactly happening.

"Wh..what..." His voice trailed off, confused.

"Lavi?"

"Wh-What...is that..." He realised that his lips were trembling. He wasn't even sure what he just saw at that moment, or whether he was still delirious, but when their eyes met, he just somehow knew it was her.

"I saw her." Bookman glanced at him sideways for a while, before he focused at the front as he drove.

"What?"

"I saw her, Gramps. I...I..."

"What are you mumbling about, Lavi?" Bookman asked in slight impatience, not being able to concentrate with his apprentice distracting him every second.

"I saw Lenalee. I saw her, right across me. She was just...right over there." The car gradually slowed down as it entered a private housing district. It slowly stopped as Bookman carefully parked it in the parking lot, before switching off the engine. Seeing no response from Lavi, he shook him slightly on the shoulders. Lavi just blinked, before he stared at him with a lost expression.

"Get out. We have reached." The redhead just nodded his head in silence, opening the door as he stepped out into the cold. As he trembled slightly, his hands unconsciously reaching up to his scarf to pull closer to his neck, he stiffened, remembering that moment when Lenalee hid her face in order to avoid him. She looked shocked to see him at first, but it wasn't a relieved or cheerful face greeting him later on. Lavi groaned softly as he touched his heated forehead. How worse could this get?

"What happened between you and Lenalee Lee?" Bookman asked with a slight concerned tone. The two of them just stood in the middle of the silent and empty carpark for a moment.

"Bookman has no need of a heart right, JiJi?" Lavi asked softly.

"That was in the past, Lavi," Bookman reminded, but was a little curious in why he brought up this topic that he hated the most.

"I do not need emotions. I discard them when necessary. I change my identity and let myself forget. I have been doing this for so many times that I almost lost count how many alias I have used."

Bookman stayed silent, waiting for him to finish.

"My heart was supposed to be emptied on that day, but a sting of pain was left behind, and till now, it was still there. It intensified whenever I thought of her. I couldn't erase away those memories because of the pain." The redhead stopped for a second to inhale deep breaths of air.

"When I saw her just about a few minutes ago, that pain clenched my heart so hard that it almost choked me." He then turned to Bookman who was staring at him with a serious gaze.

"Tell me, what exactly is this?" He asked in a pleading whisper. After a few minutes, the whole carpark turned silent once again, only the sound of the wind evident.

"You have to find the answer yourself," Bookman finally replied, turning around as he walked towards the lobby. Lavi just stood there, letting the coldness washed his face and his whole body. Bookman's reply continued to ring in his mind. He knew that he would not give him an exact answer, but he definitely knew that this had to end. Lavi took his brown sling bag by his shoulders as he paced his way to the lobby.

He would find Lenalee. Tonight.

x - Colourful Moments - x

"He isn't dead."

Allen flinched slightly, almost dropping the basket of snacks and chocolate bars he was about to put onto the shelves. He moved from shelves to shelves, trying to distract himself by doing his current part-time job, but he couldn't forget that particular moment when he might have met Kanda randomly on the streets. People were giving impatient stares at him for blocking their way. He muttered an apology and got out of the crowd, standing beside a cardboard shelf solely filled with many bars of Kit-Kat.

"Yuu-kun and Lavi came previously, and they just left about 15minutes ago."

His throat felt dry, and his chest was somehow heavier and uncomfortable than before. It was weird. He thought he had overcome the fear of standing in the middle of many people without caring so much about his distorted looks and his silver hair. Now, that particular heavy feeling he experienced when he was just an Exorcist came back to him, and it was slowly overpowering him. As Allen took a step, he bumped into a stranger. It was pure coincidence.

"I'm sorry!" The person did not blame him. In fact, he did not say anything and just walked past, like he did not see him. Allen hung his head and moved on, feeling so embarrassed. Why was he acting this way? Was the news that Kanda was alive shocked him so much that he could not think properly?

He took up a particular pack of potato chips and stared at it for a few minutes, but all his mind could think of was Kanda and nothing else. He couldn't focus on what he was doing ever since he heard that Kanda was alive, and he would be coming here as well. It felt as if...everything changed completely.

"He isn't dead."

"Kanda isn't...dead," He murmured softly. It did not sound real at all. His lips closed, before a faint smile appeared on his face. He just stared at the brand name of the potato chips, Chipster, smiling to himself. He took a deep breath and continued to smile, feeling wet tears welling up his eyes. He did not know what was happening to himself, but he had never knew that he would feel this happy in his whole life.

How would Kanda look like three years later? If he was not wrong, Kanda would be twenty-two this year. He should probably have a secure job by then, but seriously, he could not imagine a Kanda Yuu, the swordsman who only knew how to wield a sword and nothing else. Allen stiffled his laughter as he covered his mouth and looked around, making sure that no one was paying close attention to his stupid behaviour.

"Niisan." He felt a light tug at his coat, as he turned and saw a rather cute little girl standing in front of him. Somehow, her beady violet eyes reminded him of Lenalee. Was Lenalee this cute when she was young?

"Why are you smiling to yourself?" He blinked at this question, stunned for a few minutes. Her question had certainly attracted some gazes as people were staring at them. Before he could answer her, the child's mother found her and was taking her away, telling her not to go near strangers. Allen bit his lip and just smiled meekly before walking away, deciding to finish his job before earning a scolding from his supervisor who would be doing his rounds any time soon.

It was good news. He wondered how he should tell Lenalee about this. She would most probably squeal and jump for joy. She always treated everyone in the Black Order as her important family members. She said that they were like jigsaw puzzles forming the world she was living in. Without them, her whole world would crumble. He was really grateful for having her by his side when he just joined the Black Order organisation, without knowing anyone and was not used to the new home. She was his first friend.

His phone suddenly vibrated, and he took it out and flipped it open. It was a message from Lenalee.

I have gone to the supermarket just now. Sorry for telling you at this time, but can you help me buy the detergent and washing powder? Thanks.

Allen blinked. It was really rare of Lenalee to forget what to buy, because she usually prepared a shopping list to take note whenever she was shopping for groceries. He nodded his head lightly as he told himself to remember to buy the detergent and washing powder before he knocked off from work. As he walked out of the corridor which was the sweets and snacks section, he saw long and endless queues at the cashier counters. Apparently, people were rushing to buy the Christmas goods they needed a few days before the holiday.

"Should I call someone out for dinner tonight?" He remembered that Lenalee wouldn't be cooking his share tonight. Allen pondered for a moment, wondering whether he should ask a college friend out or buy packed food to eat at home. His eyes drifted to the shelves beside the cashier counters where different magazines were displayed. Seeing that no one was around at this time, he took a random one and flipped it open.

There was nothing he could read. Not that he couldn't, but he wasn't interested in cars or buildings or articles about important people in today's society. Allen browsed through the pages and was about to put the magazine back to the shelf when he stopped at a particular page, seeing pictures of different designs and the author.

Kanda? He almost shouted out that name. Allen looked around, before reading closer to the article regarding the formal swordsman. He hadn't known that the raven-haired teen could be this successful after three years. He certainly couldn't believe that Kanda could be this...good. Just by looking at his face, everyone knew that he was just a sword idiot who always sticks to his ideal principles and samurai pride, nothing else. How could...how could that Kanda Yuu be this person? !

"This has got to be kidding," Allen muttered to himself, frowning. However, as the phrase goes, one cannot judge the book by its cover. It was true that he had mistaken Kanda. He then turned and looked at his profile picture. Till now, Kanda looked almost the same. He rarely smiled at people, not to say at the camera, and that frown would forever be there on his forehead. If that guy could just stop frowning, throw away that bitchy face and smile a little, everyone would surely fall in love with him. He actually had his charming looks, just that they didn't notice it.

"Excuse me, boy. Are you in the queue as well?" Someone tapped his shoulder and pointed the moving queue. Allen realised it immediately and apologised, standing aside as he was blocking the queue. He then realised that his supervisor was already outside, and was coming in his direction. He took up the empty basket quickly and hurried off to greet his supervisor, before he scooted over to the storeroom to get more goods. On his way there, he realised that he had forgotten to put the magazine back on the shelf. The silver-haired teen stared at the magazine for a moment, wondering whether he should buy. Well, it wouldn't hurt to buy a magazine for now. He was rather interested to finish the story as well.

After working for a few hours, it was already nine. Allen had packed all his belongings, ready to go home. He grabbed a bottle of detergent and washing powder, together with the magazine, and paid to one of his colleagues before he walked out of the supermarket. As he stepped out, he shivered slightly at the night breeze blowing at his face. It was seven, and the streetlights were switched on. Even without the lights, the Christmas decoration lights were more than enough to light up the way along the pavement. Tiny stars could be seen hanging loosely at the night sky.

It looked exceptionally beautiful tonight. Allen smiled, as he walked down the snowy stairs and walked his way towards home.

x - Colourful Moments - x

Violet eyes widened with horror as their gazes met unexpectedly. She thought that it would be okay to look at him from afar quietly, keeping the feelings to herself. After all, the red-haired teenager in front of her might not be 'Lavi' anymore. He might have abandoned the past that 'Lavi' had created and started afresh with a new name. It somehow hurt when she knew that Lavi might not recognise her anymore, but their paths were different in the first place. From the start, back when the war between Exorcists and the Millennium Earl started, they were meant not to be.

Through these years, she had already decided to live her life and forget the past. Nothing would come out of it if she was still staying in that past which could no longer continue. She had been trying so hard to let it go and move on, to encounter new things and to start a new life. Yet, the moment she saw Lavi who had appeared in her life once again, she realised that she might have been wrong all along. Those memories, those feelings, were never forgotten at all. Her determination was so weak that it was destroyed from the moment she saw his face.

And from that moment onwards, she realised that not only did she need him, but she wanted him very badly. Her desire was growing strongly inside her, wanting to get to that man. She would do anything to make him hers. The feeling was so overwhelming that she was disgusted with her greed and possessiveness over the person she loved. She couldn't believe that she was so selfish all along. She knew it was wrong, yet she could not push away the heated emotions she had for Lavi. She couldn't.

And after looking at him with such shameful thoughts, Lenalee turned away, feeling so embarrassed at herself. She continued to look down even after the car had left for a few minutes, reflecting at her absurd behaviour. As she finally looked up, seeing the redhead gone, her heart just dropped to the bottom and tears began to stream down her face. She did not care on the surroundings and the people around her anymore. She only knew that from now onwards, she would be totally alone.

After she reached home, she put down the stuffs that she had bought and took out her phone from her handbag, texting to Allen that she would not be cooking dinner tonight. Not because she had a date, but she would like to spend this period of time alone, to reflect on some matters and draw a clear line to them. She knew this could not continue like this. She would definitely break down.

She looked across the table, seeing the picture album belonging to Allen. She flipped it open, reviewing the memories when they were still together. It did not really matter to her whether Lavi would love her back, because she thought that they would always be spending time together. She always saw him in certain places of the Black Order, usually delivering books to the library for Bookman to sort out. But when they separated, she could painfully feel the void between them, and she knew that her feelings weren't as simple as being friends only. It was more than that.

Everyone was important to her. But Lavi was different.

Lenalee snapped the photo album shut and tossed it onto the couch, standing up to take deep breaths. She told herself that she was not going to dwell in the past anymore. Now she had a new life, and Lavi had his own new life to live on. The olive-haired girl took off to the storeroom, took a broom and began sweeping the floor. She wasn't going to give in to her inner demands.

She washed the balcony, tidied Allen's and her room, putting the groceries into their respective places, arranging the books in the shelf in a neat and orderly way, washed the toilets, and began to hang the wet clothes outside. Lenalee smiled, encouraging herself that she could do it. As she finally could not find herself anything to do, she decided to settle down to knitting the sweater for her brother instead. She filled her mind with her brother and what he might be doing now.

Lenalee!

Instead, she heard a voice from someone whom she shouldn't even think of. Lenalee winced as the needle pricked her index finger accidentally. She sucked the finger in her mouth, wondering how she really felt. In her heart, did she really want to forget Lavi completely?

In the evening, she decided to go out for a night walk. It was too lonely staying in an empty house, and she couldn't concentrate on her knitting right at the moment as well. Her light brown boots trailed along the stone floor as she walked in the park aimlessly. Street lights flickered as they were finally lit, signalling that dusk had arrived. She played with her coat, before she decided to stop at a large statue located right at the middle of the park. She peered up, seeing numerous, little stars twinkling at her.

"Beautiful," She murmured. She remembered one night when Lavi brought her up to the rooftop of the Order, showing her a magnificent view of the glistering stars shimmering dazzlingly in their direction. She was so shocked that she couldn't speak for a while, because she couldn't believe that such a view really existed in the earth. The two of them just stayed there for hours, neither one of them wanted to leave this place.

The night breeze wheezed past her lightly. She shivered slightly as she pulled her coat closer to her body, blowing warm breaths onto her cold hands. The olive-haired girl looked around, realising that no one was around. Were they inside their warm homes, preparing the stuffs needed to welcome the seasonal holiday within days to come? She imagined the warm atmosphere enclosing her, the hearty laughter from her friends and the comfortable feeling that she always wanted to have for years. The feeling of being loved.

She looked across, seeing something bright just right ahead. She wondered whether there might be a celebration going on at this moment of time. Being curious and having nothing to do right now, Lenalee approached that bright area, finding herself facing the largest Christmas tree in her life. Many people were crowding about it, anticipating something which was to happen soon.

Before she knew it, the lights slowly lit up, from the bottom to the top. She gasped, staring at the breath-taking scene which blended in so well to the darkness. The bright lights of different colours shimmered so beautifully, just like the white lights emitted by the stars in the night sky.

Tears slowly formed at her eyes. She shook her head, forcing herself not to cry. However, she could not deny that she did not want those happy moments to end like this. She wanted to chat with Lavi again. She wanted to see the stars with Lavi again.

Lenalee closed her eyes, bringing her hands close to her face as she prayed.

She wanted to see him, one more time.

"Lenalee?" She heard an astonished yet familiar voice. As she slowly opened her eyes, she gasped, her eyes widened in horror as she saw a red-haired man who was none other than Lavi standing right in front of her.

x - Colourful Moments - x

"Look, Kanda! The night sky is so beautiful tonight! I can see the stars very clearly!" Mandy shouted, pointing at the sky. Kanda was walking behind, staring at her back silently. He had been asked to bring her around to sightsee, but in the end, it was her who was leading the way. The raven-haired adult sighed as he looked at the sky, saying nothing.

"Kanda, are you listening?" Mandy asked, running towards him. Kanda just grunted in reply, not bothered by her. In fact, he hadn't had the mood to relax and walk around the country. Ever since he saw Allen in the family portrait of everyone in the Black Order, that particular scene flashed in his head repeatedly, like it was constantly telling him that it wasn't over yet, and that something was bound to happen.

Sorry.

He shook his head, rubbing his forehead with slight frustration. That memory wasn't supposed to appear at this moment. It should have already been erased through these three years. He clenched his freezing hands, feeling slightly uncomfortable and wary. He wasn't supposed to feel this way.

Sorry.

He was just Allen! He was just a beansprout who would always annoy him, so why was he still thinking about him? Allen had disappeared from his life three years ago. It had supposed to end that way! From that moment onwards, he had got nothing to do with him anymore!

I don't know.

Sorry.

"Kanda?" He blinked, seeing Mandy's face leaning so close towards him. Kanda stumbled backwards, staring at her with astonishment.

"What?"

"What are you thinking about? Did you hear me call you five times just now?" She asked. Kanda did not answer, his face looking elsewhere. There wasn't many people on the streets, and the wind was not very noisy today, so why didn't he hear her voice even though they were so close to each other? Now, all he could think of was that silver-haired teen who shouldn't be here. It made him look pathetic.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you," Kanda said. He stared at his watch and realised that it was already seven.

"We should go home now." Kanda turned, and just before he was about to take a step, something grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

"No, not yet."

Kanda frowned, wondering whether she was making a joke. He had wasted the whole afternoon walking with her, and he needed the time tonight to catch up with his unfinished project which had to be handed up before Christmas.

"What are you talking about? I have spent time with you, Mandy. Now, I need to go back to finish my project."

"No, not yet," She replied again, her face downcast.

"Mandy -"

"Is this project really important?" She asked coldly. Her words stunned him slightly, and he did not know how to reply her. He had one more week to finish, and frankly, judging by the progress he was going, there was more than enough time for him to fly back to Canada and hand up the work. There wasn't any hurry in going back.

Yet, he had a strong feeling that he should leave.

Mandy looked up, her hands slowly reaching up to his shoulders. He had never seen her so disappointed before. Somehow, her face expression made him feel guiltier. Kanda pondered for a while. It would still be okay if he stayed here for a little while. Anyway, Mandy was his closest friend, so he shouldn't abandon her at this point of time.

"Okay, but only for a moment." That disappointed face changed instantly. She nodded her head in excitement.

"It will only take a few minutes, Kanda! I promise!" She smiled, as she took his hand and pulled him along. Kanda wondered whether he should believe that. Not knowing where she was bringing him to, Kanda just led her pulled along, wondering where they were going to. As the two adults ran on the snowy ground, they stopped in front of a Christmas tree. Kanda just stared.

"Why are we here?" He asked with a frown, and was about to walk back when she stopped him.

"I heard from rumours that if you are standing in front of this Christmas tree, when it lights up, you would meet the person you like and have a happy ending!" She explained. Kanda just gave her an absurd look on his face. He thought she was bringing him to look at something significant, but...a Christmas tree? And what fairytale was that? The least thing he wanted to believe in was something like this. It was only meant to deceive them.

"What? You believe in these tales?"

"Why not? There are some famous people who met their lovers here! It's 100 percent true, I swear!" She tried to persuade him, but Kanda just pushed her hand away as he turned around. Whether it was a rumour or not, it was definitely not going to happen. He was not going to be deceived by this, even though something inside him was trying to stop him from leaving. He snorted and walked away. It was just ridiculous.

"Look, the Christmas tree is starting to light up!"

x - Colourful Moments - x

"Thank you!" Allen said to the lady at the food stall as he walked on with a plastic bag of food in his hands. He took out a fishball out of the transparent bag as he popped it into his mouth. It was rather hot, as he opened his lips and breathed in the cold air, trying to cool his burning tongue. As he munched and swallowed it, he grinned, feeling warm in his stomach. It tasted surprisingly good. Maybe he was already hungry.

"Look, the Christmas tree is starting to light up!" Allen stopped in his tracks, looking at the direction where the voice came from. Many people were crowding there, looking at the tree with anticipation. He raised his eyebrow in bewilderment, wondering what the commotion was all about. It was just a simple Christmas tree, which only symbolised the Christmas season and nothing else. Was it a special one? It looked normal to him.

He slowly approached the crowded area, staring at everyone who did not seem to notice his presence but only the large tree itself. As he peered at the colourful lights which lit up from the bottom to the top, and as the bright star was brightly lit, everyone just clapped and hugged one another, wishing a Merry Christmas.

He just stared at the star silently, a weird feeling invading him all of a sudden.

"Hey, lets be together forever." He turned to look at a particular couple who was talking to each other. The guy smiled as he pulled the girl into his embrace. He turned away, feeling his face flushing slightly. Why must all these people be simply so inconsiderate? Didn't they notice that he was here? He felt his chest, his heart pounding hardly each second.

Feeling rather awkward, he decided to leave. Allen slid his hands into the warm pockets of his coat. He smiled as he turned to leave, only to stop again. His eyes just stared at the brownish white ground in astonishment, before he turned back towards the Christmas tree. He slowly walked closer to it, his footsteps echoing in his head. He could hear nothing except his own presence, walking forward. He brushed across people, until he was at the very front of it. As he tilted his head a little, he saw someone standing there.

Silver eyes widened in horror.

Moyashi.

I have a name. It's Allen. ALLEN.

Why are you here?

"How could this...this..." He muttered with a shaky voice, constantly looking at a particular direction.

Aren't you supposed to be at the party?

Why are you acting so strange today?

Goodbye, Kanda.

Goodbye, Moyashi.

Just right across him, was Kanda Yuu.

"Hey, it's dangerous to touch the Christmas tree, young man," Someone came over and warned him, but he wasn't really listening. His lips started to quiver, and his breaths gradually turned shaky. His lips opened slightly, as he told himself to step back. Step back, and nothing would happen. He constantly told himself not to look at him, but he couldn't. He wanted to walk away, but he couldn't.

Sorry.

"Stop this," He murmured softly, his voice drowned by the wind. Was it because he was completely stunned by how radiant his smile was? He was just standing there, smiling and laughing at a girl which was about his age. He didn't know that he could smile to others so easily. It looked so genuine and so real. Kanda was really happy. Everything just rushed to his head in an instant, making him feel at a loss. Was that girl his girlfriend? Somehow, it made him slightly jealous, but he had no right. After all, he was the one who walked away in the first place.

His heart thudded hardly at his chest once, the feeling of emptiness sinking in.

Suddenly, he turned in his direction. Allen froze on the spot, his eyes still widened in shock at this. Kanda's smile faltered immediately, replaced by a shocked expression, and he knew that he had seen him. Even if the crowd was slowly dispersing, they did not move from their positions, just staring at each other in silence. As the wind blew again, he could see strands of his raven-coloured hair fluttering lightly in the air.

"What's wrong?"

Allen felt his phone vibrated in his pocket. He did not feel like answering it. He felt like running away this instant. His hand slowly released the grip on the Christmas tree, and every second he counted in his mind, he began to take a step back. He was afraid - afraid that everything that was shown in front of him would disappear within seconds.

He was afraid of losing him again.

"Kanda?"

He took another step back, getting ready to turn and run. Allen wondered whether the ground was too dry. Didn't the weather forecast say that it had snowed earlier in the afternoon? Why did it feel like he hadn't moved when Kanda was coming towards him? Why was he still standing here like a dummy? What was he pining for?

Why are you doing this for me? This attack is meant for me, stupid! Why?

Why are you still being soft at this moment?

Because I do not want anyone to get hurt again!

Why wasn't he running towards him? After all, all he had in his mind was the raven-haired swordsman throughout the three whole years. And now, what the hell was this? Allen started to mock himself inwardly towards his contradictions and dilemma. He was so glad and so happy that Kanda was here, but something stopped him from advancing further. The silver-haired teen slowly clenched his hands tightly as he tore his gaze away from that raven-haired man forcefully.

Maybe he was too naïve. Things were bound to change, but the only thing that he thought did not, and forever will not change, was the relationship between him and Kanda. What was he exactly hoping for? He had been acting like a stupid fool for all these years, turning away from the fact that nothing would come out from this, because Kanda was an emotionless man - a person with no feelings of love.

However, it hurt. Whenever he began thinking of Kanda, everywhere just hurt so much and so badly that he could not stand it. No matter how he debated with himself that it was already over, he couldn't abandon those feelings. And when he saw Kanda again, the pain just intensified.

He could no longer stand it anymore. He had to run away, from his feelings which was responding strongly to the person he liked for years. It was a cowardly act, he knew, but at that particular moment, he had no idea what he should do. He just knew that he had to get away immediately. Any place would do, far enough to escape from that bright light which led to him.

Allen turned around and started to run, but before he could even take a step, a forceful tug at his wrist halted him in his footsteps. Silver eyes slowly widened in shock as he heard the low and monotone whisper loud and clear, his soft and raspy breaths tickling his earlobes as he leaned against his warmth.

"Are you going to run away from me again, Moyashi?"

Firstly, thank you all for the lovely reviews! :DDD

I thought of making Allen run away from Kanda again, but I don't think this ending would make you readers happy because he had already run once from the first story, and secondly, Kanda would logically not let him off the second time they meet XD

Yay! Allen and Kanda had finally met! Lavi and Lenalee as well! And the four of them reunited at the park where the Christmas tree was. I want to create a certain place where the four characters crossed paths. I was thinking of this perfect place which must fit into this snowy season, and suddenly, a large Christmas tree appeared in my mind -.- so I just used this idea to come up with this chapter.

I will try to finish up this story because I currently have a new idea in mind, and I need all the attention I have (besides school and homework and projects) to write out this story, and this means that I won't be updating my other stories as frequently once I start writing. I will try to update monthly if I can. Another reason why I want to rush this because I seem to be losing interest in this fandom. I still love Yullen (this pair is awesome and simply canon :P) but my inspiration seems to be dying D: Sorry about this.

Pls review once again, my lovelies! :D

~SingingBlues