Chapter 8: Memories, Feelings, Decisions
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. ~Flavia Weedn, Forever
x - Colourful Moments - x
Allen sighed, peering at Komui from the corner of the living room who had currently been glaring darkly at a particular redhead for the last five hours without blinking. Lenalee did not seem to mind as she took his clothes to wash, while Lavi was reading newspaper at the dining table as though nothing had happened. Seriously, he was really surprised that the two of them could get used to this within a short period of time. He was careful to avoid them lest he was pulled into this "crossfire" that had occurred ever since Komui found out about their relationship at the airport.
Now, Komui was gritting his teeth in a childish manner as he realised that they weren't affected by him. Allen slapped his forehead lightly as he turned back to watch the television in front of him, deciding to ignore this.
"Hey, is it true that everyone is arriving today nii-san?" Lenalee asked from the kitchen as she was taking out his coats to dry at the balcony.
"Really?" Allen exclaimed as he looked up at her. He couldn't wait to see all of them again. He wondered how they had been doing.
"Yeah. I have just received a message from Reever that he has arrived at the airport just now. It looks like Krory is with him," Komui said.
"They come here together?" Lenalee asked as she stopped beside him.
"No, they meet in the airport by coincidence."
"Oh, I can't wait to see them!" Allen piped up as he stood up from his seat, his mind thinking of the activities that they would be doing when they had met one another.
"Getting excited, Allen?" Lavi asked as he winked at him from the edge of the newspaper. Komui hissed and glared at him, but no one seemed to notice him.
"Yes! It would be great if we know when they are arriving at the airport! At least I can go and fetch them!" Allen replied in glee as he began skipping around the living room. Lenalee sat down beside her older brother and listened to the conversation. She smiled, glad that Allen had returned to his usual cheerfulness. She just watched silently as Lavi teased Allen and the two of them began to bicker, but in a friendly manner.
"Something bothering you?" Komui asked as he stared at her. Violet eyes narrowed before they slowly closed. Lenalee let out a sigh as she shook her head.
"No. Nothing." Allen was laughing. Her hands slowly clenched tightly as her eyes opened. She couldn't put off that tearful face she saw with her own eyes last night. What had exactly happened last night? She wanted to ask him, but it might spoil the happy mood they currently had. She really did not want to force him to say the truth, but when was he going to say it? Sometimes the laughter she was hearing was nothing but a facade to cover his wounds.
"Lenalee?" She blinked as she looked up, seeing both Allen and Lavi looking at her. She stared at the silver-haired teen for a moment, having the urge to ask whether it was about Kanda. Now as she thought about everything, it did make sense. She already knew that something was wrong at that night before they were disbanded from the Order. Allen hardly met Kanda at the eye when they were bidding farewell, he cried while saying Kanda's name and avoided her question whenever she raised it up. She knew that they did not see each other to the eye in the beginning, but it shouldn't get worse than this.
"What?" She asked in bewilderment.
"What are you thinking about?" Allen asked, curious.
"I was...thinking of what to buy when we go out later," She smiled and laughed.
"We are going out? With who?" Lavi asked with enthusiasm.
"Not with you, bastard!" Komui screamed as he lunged for the redhead who dodged it with ease as the previous Science department supervisor crashed onto a wall and slumped down onto the floor with a loud thud. Allen just sighed as he felt his forehead, wondering when Komui was going to accept the fact that his sister was dating with Lavi.
"But who are we going out with?" He asked. Lenalee just smiled as she gave a wink.
"Everyone. I have already notified them. We will be meeting them at Hard Rock Cafe at Millville Street around five in the evening. It will be a Christmas shopping to prepare for the party two days later! Furthermore, we can catch up along the way as well!" She said. Allen was already imagining what it would be like for today's evening. He couldn't help but shiver in excitement of the events that were to come. He looked up at the clock. It was currently four now. One more hour, and they would be able to meet again.
A string of sunlight entered the window. He closed his eyes and felt the warmth trailing down his face. The heat had never felt this soothing and comfortable before. His eyes gradually opened, seeing the path of bright light that seemed to be leading towards the place where they would be meeting.
A soft smile gradually appeared on his face. They continued to chat in excitement for the rest of the afternoon, drowned in the hearty laughter ringing throughout the whole apartment.
"Allen!" Allen turned to see Krory running and waving towards them. The two of them hugged each other tightly, their laughter ringing melodiously at their ears as they jumped together like little kids. Reever had already arrived at the scene, chatting with Komui. Lenalee and Lavi seemed to be lost in their own world, as they were taking pictures of the both of them using Lavi's iPhone.
"I am so glad to see you again!" Krory cried out.
"Me too!" Allen said as he grinned, taking deep breaths of the snowy air. They stopped hugging as they held hands together, inspecting each other. Krory did not seem to change much, except that he might look more mature by his choice of clothes. Somehow, the feel towards the adult was also different from when he was still an Exorcist as well.
"You have grown drastically, Allen," Krory commented as he looked at him from top to bottom. A slight blush appeared on his cheeks as Allen gave a sheepish smile and scratched the side of his face.
"No, no. It's only two centimetres difference from my previous height when I was an Exorcist," He argued profusely, refusing to admit his words. Krory just laughed as he shook his head.
"No, you have definitely grown a lot, but still slightly skinny. Have you been eating well recently?" He asked with a frown. Before Allen could reply, Lavi jumped beside him and hung his hand around his shoulder.
"This little midget still eats an enormous amount of food everyday, Krory-kins! Don't underestimate this small-built body of his!" He said with a wink.
"Lavi!" Allen exclaimed in slight displeasure. The redhead just laughed and pinched his cheek gently. The silver-haired teen grunted in irritation as he slapped his hand away.
"Please drop those weird namings, Lavi!" Krory said with a sigh.
"Eh? Doesn't it sound cute?" Lavi blinked and asked.
"It doesn't!" Both Krory and Allen replied in unison.
"Hey, It's Miranda!" Lenalee cried out. Everyone turned to see a middle-aged woman walking towards them. She was wearing a long light-brown coat, a dark-grey woollen scarf wrapped around her neck, and black boots which were worn up to her knees. She took down her shades as her hand brushed the slight curls of her hair which fluttered lightly onto her shoulders.
"E-Eh...hi...everyone." Everyone just stared at her, silent. Krory's mouth slowly dropped open. Reever couldn't help but swallow in surprise, and Lavi let out a short whistle.
"Wow, nice figure you have, Miranda," He remarked. Lenalee shot him a weird gaze, wondering what he meant. Miranda just blinked for a moment, before deep shades of red appeared on her face. She muttered thanks under her breath as she turned away, embarrassed. Noticing her embarrassment, Lavi coughed and just laughed awkwardly, telling her that he was only complimenting her. She smiled in return.
"You have really changed, Miranda!" Lenalee said as she went over to her and gave her a hug.
"You too, Lenalee! You look very beautiful!" Miranda replied. The two women began chatting between themselves, discussing on the recent fashion trends and the ideal perfumes and cosmetics to buy.
Next, Timothy, Rou Fa, Bak and Fou came at the same time. Bak, who still had the likes for Lenalee, collapsed with hives appearing on his face. The former scientist at the Asian Branch who still had a crush on Allen ran towards him and literally pounced onto him. Allen gasped in slight astonishment as he stumbled backwards slightly, his arms unconsciously went up and hugged her. It had been so long since he saw her ever since he was admitted to the Asian Branch for the loss of his Innocence, but he hadn't remembered Rou Fa being so straightforward at that time.
"Eh, are you so desperate, Rou Fa?" Lavi teased. She panicked immediately as she got out of the embrace and shook her head vigorously, not wanting to get into a misunderstanding. Lenalee just smacked his head lightly for being mischievous and mean towards an innocent girl. Allen just laughed, telling her that he didn't really mind.
"Um...Allen-san..."
"You can just call me Allen," Allen said with a smile. Brown eyes brightened with happiness as she nodded her head vigorously, before looking down in slight embarrassment.
"What a perfect chance, Rou Fa. Allen is still single," Fou said as she nudged her arm and smirked at her.
"You can start attacking him now, you know," Lavi added on, as the two of them stared at her with devilish smiles. She just stared at them in slight suspicion, wondering what they were plotting inside those evil minds of theirs. Allen just raised his eyebrow in slight curiosity, wondering what they were talking about. It seemed that the silver-haired teen wasn't aware of her feelings for the past few years. Lenalee sighed, wondering whether he was too dense to notice.
But, does Allen even notice who he really likes?
"It seems that we are the only ones who are late." Froi Tiedoll who was previously a general came over. Marie and Chouji were walking behind him, while there was an unexpected person who would be joining them this evening.
"Yuu! You came!" Allen stiffened, his eyes widened in shock at hearing this statement.
"Shut up, rabbit," Kanda grunted as he walked over to join the crowd, not seemed pleased to be here.
"You look so different as well, soba-man!" Kanda stopped immediately, his eyebrow twitching slightly in anger at that stupid and senseless name that Krory called him when he was still an Exorcist. Everyone was silent for a few minutes, before they burst out into laughter. There were shrieks and cries heard as Krory was running away from the raven-haired man who was charging towards him. It was too bad that he did not have Mugen with him. For Krory, he was extremely glad that they weren't Exorcists anymore.
"Okay, Krory-kins is just kidding, soba-man!" Lavi shouted on purpose, obviously wanting to join in the fun.
"You want to die as well is it, usagi?" Kanda hissed as he glared at him darkly. They ran around in circles as they passed by everyone who were deep into their own conversation. As Lavi passed by Lenalee, he gave her a light peck on her cheek quickly. She stopped talking as she blinked for a moment, before she blushed deeply at this. Miranda just stared at her with wide eyes. Komui roared and chased him, swearing to kill him for doing that to his precious sister this instant. Reever tried to stop their former Science Supervisor from going crazy in the open public.
"I am so going to kill you, Lavi!" Komui screamed.
"Ah! Help!" Lavi shrieked and jumped to avoid the kick coming from the furious brother of Lenalee's coming after him in hot pursuit.
"Stop coming after me, soba-man! Oops, I have said soba-man..." Krory said as he covered his mouth.
"You are so getting it from me!" Kanda growled angrily as he lunged after the poor vampire who cried out for someone to save him.
Allen couldn't help but laugh at the scenes he was seeing from his group of friends and family. It had been so long since he could hear their voices and laughter, and it was so nostalgic seeing them like this once again. When was the last time they could totally enjoy themselves and laugh so carefreely like this? It was their very first time throwing away every frustration and laughing so heartily. It was the first time he ever felt so happy in his life.
"Save me, Allen!" Krory shouted as he ran towards him. Allen just stared at him as he slowly approached him, before silver eyes gradually widened at the figure who was behind him. As Krory took cover behind him, Allen stared wide-eyed at Kanda who appeared right in front of him. Time seemed to slow down for the both of them, as they stared at each other for a moment. He could only hear echoes of their voices, the soft whistles of the wind, and feel the soft raven strands of his hair tickling his nose and cheeks.
Memories of what happened last night crashed to him.
Silver eyes widened in horror as he felt breathless and dizzy all of a sudden, as though that small limited space between the both of them was going to swallow him whole. He looked away immediately as his body reacted out of its own accord. Allen walked out of the way, and as he stepped out, he then realised what he had done. He stared at the ground in astonishment for seconds, before he looked up at Lenalee who had been watching him for a long time.
"Allen?" Krory questioned, a little puzzled at his reaction.
"It's...nothing," He stammered a little, refusing to look into his gaze. Images of the park, the Christmas tree, their sudden meeting and Kanda's angry face flashed continuously in his mind. A slight stabbing pain was felt at his chest, and Allen told himself to forget what had happened that night.
"Where will we be going, Allen?" Rou Fa asked.
"H-Huh..." Allen stiffened. His voice was so shaky. He did not expect himself to be this shaken. He clenched his hands as he began to panick, wishing that someone would interrupt at this moment.
"We are going to the shopping mall first! Since everyone is here, let's go!" Lenalee shouted loudly. As she talked, the bus that they were waiting had also arrived at the bus stop. Everyone went back to their own conversation as they boarded the bus. As Allen took a seat at the corner, Lenalee went to sit beside him. He just looked up at her in slight surprise, before he looked down with a lost expression.
"Are you alright?" She asked in concern.
"Hnn," Allen replied. "Thanks, Lenalee." She had noticed his discomfort with Kanda.
"Are you still uncomfortable with Kanda?" Silver eyes widened at the question.
"I..." Just by reminiscing what had happened last night was enough to make him sick. He knew he had liked Kanda, but he never expected himself to confess to him. That was definitely out of impulse, nothing more. Now, he did not know how he should face Kanda. Allen covered his face as he shook his head. Every time he saw Kanda, his head would start spinning and a revolting feeling just rushed up his chest, making him hard to breathe.
"Even so, are you content on remaining like this?" She asked. Allen flinched, before he slowly looked up at her, shocked.
She already knew.
"I...don't know." Frankly, he had a sudden thought of giving up. Allen sighed as he looked outside the window. He thought he would be able to take it, but recently, it was getting harder to maintain this feeling which was weighing him down. No matter how he pondered hardly on this problem, he always came to a dead end. Not to mention that they were both guys.
"I guess...this isn't working out..." He muttered softly.
"What isn't?" Rou Fa asked, curious. Allen just smiled.
"You seem to be deep in your thoughts, Allen. Is there anything that is bothering you? You can chat with me about it if you are troubled. I don't mind," She said.
"Thanks, Rou Fa," Allen replied. Her eyes widened slightly for a moment, before she looked away, blushing.
"Oh, is that the start of your love attack, Rou Fa? How sly," Fou asked as she grinned. Rie Fu panicked again as she shook her head and said that she had misunderstood her intentions.
"What, what? What are you all talking about?" Lavi asked as he peered behind, curious on the conversation. Rou Fa gasped as she looked down in embarrassment. Fou just laughed loudly, while Lenalee just smiled and said nothing. The redhead frowned, thinking that he had somehow missed an important part of their secret conversation. Allen just stared at them in silence, before he realised that he had been staring at Kanda who was sitting beside Lavi for a while. He looked away quickly, deep in his thoughts. It seemed that there wasn't much reaction from the raven-haired man after his confession last night. Kanda was treating as though nothing had happened last night. Allen looked down at his hands on his lap, his eyes narrowing with sadness.
Is it...really time to give up?
"We need to buy the ornaments for the Christmas tree!" Lavi said excitedly as he ran around the department store, like an energetic child continuously searching for something to play.
"Can you stop running around? Everyone's watching," Lenalee said with a sigh.
"Oh. Even the kids are watching you," Reever added as he pointed to a little boy who seemed to look a little terrified at seeing him.
"Are you an idiot?" Komui asked, slapping his forehead before shaking his head.
Kanda chose to say nothing and ignore the sight of the redhead, walking away. It was just a waste of time talking to this idiotic rabbit who always acted like a random comedy fool acted in dramas.
"Hey! Won't all of you be excited entering a department place which is filled with the atmosphere of Christmas?" Lavi demanded from them, feeling slightly insulted. It was really weird of them for not being enthusiastic at the merry feel of Christmas arriving. He peered at the silver-haired teen who seemed to be in a daze for a few minutes.
"Right, Allen?" Lavi said as he went over to him and draped his arm around his shoulder. Allen blinked as he jumped slightly, startled by his sudden movement. He was so preoccupied by what had happened just now that he did not notice that they had already entered the department store.
"Yeah." He smiled. He slapped himself inwardly, telling himself to stop acting like a pathetic fool in front of everyone. It was supposed to be a happy occasion today! He couldn't be selfish and only think of his own mood. Silver eyes narrowed as he slowly brought out another smile.
"What are you thinking just now? You look so stunned," Lavi asked. Lenalee peered at him silently.
"The days which we are spending together for Christmas. I was so looking forward to it," Allen replied and laughed. The awkward atmosphere finally returned back to normal as he engaged a conversation with Lavi and the rest. They walked around the shopping mall, buying whatever that they needed and the Christmas ornaments for hanging the Christmas at Lenalee's house.
"Hey Krory! You have to hang the lightings on the christmas tree very carefully this time! Don't get electrocuted again!" Komui reminded the vampire who was a klutz at times. Krory could only bit his lips and nodded his head, a slight flush of embarrassment on his face.
"Someone has to help him. I will make sure that the lightings are carefully handled," Marie said as he patted his shoulder to reduce some of his embarrassment. Krory smiled in return, glad that there was someone to guide him.
"I will help too!" Chouji shouted.
"Everyone will be helping," Komui said, while staring angrily at Lavi and Lenalee who were snuggling close - too close - together.
"I was so glad I can meet you, Allen," Rou Fa said as she went to his side. She probably noticed that he was too quiet compared to his usual days. Everyone was enjoying themselves as per normal, yet he couldn't seem to join them as he wanted to. The young girl had a rather sweet smile as she played with her pigtails. He smiled back in return.
"Yeah, me too. How are you doing nowadays?" He asked.
"Uhm..." She pondered as she looked up, before looking back at him again. "Well, frankly, even though I am not working at the Asian Branch, but I'm still working at a Chemistry lab in Norway so...I guess I have not cut ties with Science technology after all...because I really like Science a lot..." She replied as she looked at the front, showing a content face. Allen just listened in silence.
"There was a time when I really hated technology, because humans made use of it only for producing weapons to create endless wars and hardships among the people. It was supposed to aid us in our lives, but it was used in the completely wrong way, just like the Holy War. I really felt like giving up and throwing everything away, thinking that it might help cease the war...until I met you."
"Met...me?" Allen questioned with slightly widened eyes, surprised. Rou Fa nodded her head.
"You are one of the victims of the Innocence, yet you made use of the power to save lives which are almost destroyed by the powers of technology. It was so hard, yet you did not give up at the end. That determined face you wore at that time...had left a deep impression on me." She said as she turned to look at a brown-coloured winter coat hung in front of her which was for men's wear. As she felt the soft and smooth material of the coat, a smile slowly appeared at her lips.
"For the first time, I wanted to work hard to create a new technology to help Exorcists like you."
He did not say anything. Rather, he couldn't say anything.
"Allen? Uh, don't mind what I have just said! It's only my opinion!" Rou Fa panicked instantly as she waved her hands vigorously.
Suddenly, Allen started laughing. She stopped waving her hands as she stared at him with a stunned expression. He shook his head, telling her silently that he was fine, and he did not mind what she had said just now in the least. He knew that she was trying to cheer him up, but somehow, it did not end up the way it should. But somehow, he was glad that she spoke her feelings out to him. It was probably the first time someone had looked up to him in this way. Even though he was predicted to be someone - a hero who would kill the Millennium Earl in the end, rumours still spread, especially on the topics on him as a Noah. It wasn't nice, to the point of hurting, because people looked up to him only as a tool to eliminate the main source of evil and end the Holy War completely.
"Thank you, Rou Fa," Allen replied, smiling. She just blinked in slight confusion, wondering what was going on. People did try to talk to him about this before, but he had never felt this comforted.
"N-No...I am glad that you cheered up a little, Allen..." She stammered slightly as she looked elsewhere in slight awkwardness.
"Do you have anything you want to buy for Christmas?" She asked.
"Probably not." He had bought the presents for them earlier on. Allen stopped walking as he started pondering hardly. Was there anyone whom he had forgotten to buy present for?
"By the way, this wristband really suits you, Allen-" As Rou Fa touched the wristband and was about to take it up and show him when she felt another hand touching hers. Turning around, she stared at a young woman with bright auburn hair looking at her as well. She blinked, slightly astonished by her sudden appearance. Or rather, the pretty and extremely stunning looks she had which were making her losing her confidence.
"I'm sorry. You have taken it first." She apologised and released her hand.
"N-No, no! It's okay!" Rou Fa stuttered dumbly, and after seconds, wondered why the hell she was apologising for.
"Rou Fa?" Allen approached her, and when he saw the woman beside her, he stopped. He raised his eyebrow, and slowly, he began to frown. Somehow, this person standing in front of him right now looked extremely familiar, as though he had definitely seen her somewhere...
"Allen! Why are the two of you so slow? Hurry up!" They looked up and saw Lavi coming over. Allen looked away immediately when he noticed that Kanda was looking at their direction. The redhead stopped as he stared at the stranger.
"Someone you know?" He asked.
"Mandy?" Silver eyes widened slightly. Lavi blinked a few times as Kanda walked over to the pretty lady standing across him. He gave her a look again, before he turned and gave an increduous stare at the raven-haired man, shocked that this antisocial and attitude-problem guy could have the skill to get to know this hot babe. Kanda ignored him as usual.
"Kanda! I'm surprised to see you here! Why are you here? Shopping for Christmas stuff?" She exclaimed as she smiled widely.
"I was being dragged here -" Kanda was being mouthed by Lavi before he could say another word.
"Hi! You are Kanda's friend? Are you sure you are this Kanda Yuu's friend?" Lavi asked in curiosity, pointing at Kanda who was being gagged and struggling to get free from his clutches.
"Yeah! I understand what you mean, because you wouldn't expect someone like Kanda to know someone like me right?" Mandy said as she laughed.
"You are so totally right!" Lavi laughed loudly, and as Kanda wrenched off his hand and tried to hit him on his head for doing that to him, the redhead tilted his whole body to the left and dodged his attack. Seeing how fuming the raven-haired man was when he missed, Mandy giggled even louder, totally amused by this side of Kanda that she saw today.
"You are going to get it from me later, usagi!" Kanda seethed in anger.
"Usagi? As in...rabbit?" Mandy questioned in slight intrigue.
"Kanda has the habit of calling us nicknames. Like for example..." Before Allen knew it, Lavi took him by his arm and pushed him right in front of them.
"This guy is called Allen, but Kanda always calls him 'Moyashi', which means beansprout. It must probably be his small height for his age..."
"Hey, I'm not that short now!" Allen protested.
"But now, it seems that he is still calling him by that nickname. I rarely hear Kanda calling Allen by his real name though..." Lavi continued. Allen stared at the ground, feeling totally awkward and out of place. Mandy just blinked, not knowing what to say. Kanda was silent throughout the whole conversation.
"W-What are you talking about, Lavi? Let's go. Everyone's waiting," The silver-haired teen said as he reached out and took Rou Fa's arm unconsciously, pulling her away. The grey-haired girl just blushed at this intimate gesture as she followed him quietly.
"Hey, since you are Kanda's friend, why not join us in the Christmas shopping? The more people the merrier!" Lavi suggested. He turned to everyone, seeing how they reacted to this. No one objected, and they seemed to be alright with this. Allen stopped in his footsteps as his eyes grew wide, shocked. The situation was already so bad, and she had to come in at this point of time. But on second thoughts, why should he care?
"If it's okay with all of you, I wouldn't mind. Would you?" Mandy asked as she turned to Kanda.
"It's okay with me."
"Okay! Let's go!"
"Are you alright, Allen?" Rou Fa asked, shaking his arm slightly. Allen just stared ahead in silence, wondering what he was exactly doing.
He couldn't get his eyes away from him.
The two of them were mostly walking together. Although he had no right to, he couldn't help but feel a slight tinge of jealousy when she was around him. Allen bit his lip as he controlled those absurd thoughts, turning to look at the dazzling and sparkling ornament balls for the Christmas tree. He gritted his teeth as he stared at his reflection from the colourful balls.
Was he that desperate?
The silver-haired teen looked around by himself, thinking of various situations which might happen between Kanda and Mandy. He wasn't even sure on their exact relationship. He couldn't forget that particular moment when he saw Kanda smiling at her while standing in front of the large Christmas tree. Yes, they might be the best of friends, but Kanda wasn't the type of person who would smile for anyone. The sun would probably rise from the west if that bastard really smiled all of a sudden.
He stopped by a shelf, staring at a small statue of Santa Claus. As he took it up and fondled with it for a moment, he glanced at a corner where Kanda and Mandy were lingering there, looking at the pretty white angel statue displayed on the table. Silver eyes narrowed with annoyance, and after a few seconds, he turned around and smacked himself inwardly, wondering why he was behaving this way. It seemed so childish, so totally not himself. Worse, now he was acting like a complete stalker. He shivered at the thought of it, slightly disgusted.
His eyes almost popped out of his eye sockets when the two of them were laughing between themselves heartily. Urgh, what was this 'lovey-dovey" feeling he was getting from the both of them? What was their relationship? He wanted to know! That arrogant BaKanda could just tell them that the two of them were dating instead of hiding in a corner and laughing like lunatics. It wasn't as if...he was going to...mind right? After all, he and Kanda did not start anything at all...
"Damn..." Allen muttered as he leaned against the wall. What was he getting jealous about?
"Allen! Are you okay? You don't look good," Rou Fa went over to him and asked in concern.
"I'm fine," Allen replied, and as he was about to move, his legs suddenly lost balance and he stumbled, almost falling onto the floor. His hands gripped onto her hands as he got hold of himself, before he stood up properly.
"Thank you, Rou Fa."
"Are you sure you are alright? She asked in uncertainty.
"Yeah, I am." He turned to look at them again. They were still engrossed in their conversation. He turned back, wondering what he was hoping for.
"I think we should buy brighter colours for this year's Christmas theme," Lenalee said as she took a variety of red, blue, yellow, green and all the colours of the frills that she could find.
"Good idea. We should also buy the white powder to decorate the window glass panes as well," Marie remarked.
"And a big, golden star!" Lavi exclaimed as he ran to them, holding on to a large golden star sprinkled with glitters.
"Can you stop running around, Lavi? And who the hell are you holding?" Komui screamed as he stared at his arm which was draping around his precious sister's shoulder.
"Can you just stop it and accept their relationship? Everyone has known and is okay with it," Reever sighed as he stared at Komui who was getting a little paranoid over such a small matter.
"What? I will NEVER ACCEPT IT!"
"Nii-san! How long are you going to be behaving like this?" Lenalee asked in slight denial. Komui showed a horrified expression as he turned and faced the wall in slight depression, mumbling something about his precious and cute sister talking back to him for the first time and so on.
"Just calm down, Komui. Is it really bad?" Froi asked as he patted his shoulder gently. That childish and sister-complex old man began to whine and complain to him about his precious sister Lenalee being polluted by a certain stinky redhead and so on. Lavi frowned at his remarks, having the urge to correct him that he wasn't a stinky brat, but thinking of the current situation, it was better to let him say whatever he wanted.
The redhead turned to see Rou Fa and Allen talking rather well, although the two of them were just mere acquaintances in the Asian Branch and they really did not talk much to each other at that time. Rou Fa's clumsy behaviour seems to have sparked something within the silver-haired teen, and Allen couldn't stop laughing. It was probably her way of comforting and cheering him up, he guessed. After all, it had been a long while since he saw that real cheerful smile of his again.
"Hey, Yuu -" He stopped calling when he realised that Kanda was looking at a particular direction - straight at Allen. His lips hung open for a moment, before it closed, emerald eyes observing him in silence. There was something weird going on with him as well. He was unusually quiet around Allen, and that soft gaze he used on Allen was totally different from before. That particular moment when Kanda was desperately calling out the silver-haired teen's name did not leave his mind.
"What are you looking at, Kanda?" Mandy asked, coming to him.
"Nothing." Kanda replied, before turning away to look at some random stuff. Ever since Allen talked to him about...that, he couldn't think right today. As he reminisced on their past which were only full of fights and quarrels, he couldn't believe that Allen harboured such affection for him. They had always hated each other, but when had it become like this?
He glanced at Allen, and saw that he was laughing with a girl who was supposed to be from the Asian Branch. She had probably taken care of him when he was there. His laughter rang softly at his ears, and he couldn't help but feel a little lightened up by the mood. Though he did not want to admit this, but this midget had the ability to bring laughter and happiness to everyone. Their moods would always depend on his current mood. He thought he wouldn't be like them, but before he knew it, he was also affected by his presence as well.
It had always been a question mark when it came to how he truly felt for Allen. They had always been bickering for years, so they were considered as rivals at that time. Sometimes he felt angry by his empathy towards Akumas, sometimes he felt slightly sympathetic towards Allen on his identity. In the past, he wouldn't even flinch when he heard Allen's name, but towards the end of the battle, he was a little concerned whenever Allen was injured, because that pathetic fool wouldn't care for himself and was willing to sacrifice his cursed body for the greater good. People might think this was right, but no matter how he thought about this, it felt totally wrong.
He wondered why he even felt this way. Was this...how he truly felt towards Allen?
"This looks nice," Mandy commented as she took up a white statue which was made up of many angels.
White reminded him so much of Allen. So much of it.
Kanda hissed as he ruffled up his fringe, feeling rather irritated.
"You don't like it?" She asked, seeing the frustrated look he had. Kanda just stared at it for a moment, before he shook his head slightly.
"It's really nice."
Suddenly, he felt a tight grip at his arm. Kanda stopped and turned to look at Mandy who was staring at him with a serious expression.
"What?"
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Why do you ask?" He asked. Her gaze softened, before she loosened the grip at his arm and stared elsewhere.
"Nothing." He stared at her and frowned, wondered what had happened. Mandy seemed to be acting rather strange lately.
"We are going, Yuu!" Lavi shouted from a distance.
"Who are you talking to, you baka usagi -" Kanda stopped talking as he met Allen's gaze at that moment. The silver-haired teen just stared at him silently with an emotionless expression for a while, before he turned around and joined the rest. He turned away, and as he felt the strands of his raven hair at his ears, he couldn't help but feel slightly pissed.
"Kanda?" Mandy asked, looking at him in slight bewilderment.
"No. Let's go."
After walking for a few hours in the department store, everyone seemed to be eager to find a restaurant to settle their dinner. Lavi was whining about wanting to try the new Korean cuisine restaurant which was opened rather recently. Kanda spoke that he did not want anything except his Japanese soba. Komui felt like trying Chinese cuisine for a change. After several discussions among one another, it seemed that they could not settle for a mutual agreement yet.
"Want to join us for dinner as well, Mandy-chan?" Somehow, Lavi just added a 'chan' by the back of her name before he noticed it.
"Eh? Is it okay? Because it's a gathering for all of you..." Mandy said, hesitant.
"No, no! We won't mind! Since you are Yuu's friend, you are our friend as well!" Lavi said, grinning.
"I told you not to call me by my first name!" Kanda hissed.
"Eh? Why? It fits you perfectly! Right, Mandy-chan?" Lavi asked as he leaned lightly against her shoulder.
"Yeah. It really suits you, Kanda. It's...cute..." She said with a soft laugh. Lavi blinked for a few times, staring at her with an astonished expression. Kanda seemed rather immune by this. After all, he had been called like that by his colleagues for so long until he was tired of asking them to shut up.
"W-What?" She asked in slight confusion, wondering what had happened.
"Mandy-chan, don't tell me..."
"Okay, we are going into the Korean restaurant, Lavi!" Lenalee took the redhead's arm and pulled him inside. The two of them just stood there, feeling slightly awkward.
"Should I...join you all as well?" Mandy asked softly, looking down at the ground. Kanda just let out a sigh as he started moving into the restaurant.
"What are you standing here for? Come in," He turned back and said when he noticed that she hadn't moved from her position. Mandy just looked up and blinked in slight bewilderment, before a smile appeared on her face as she nodded her head.
The silver-haired teen just watched them through the glass at a corner in silence. As he thought, he was starting to regret when he confessed to Kanda at a spur of moment. The two of them...really looked...compatible...
His hands clenched tightly, an anguish feeling suddenly washing over him in an instant. He cursed inwardly to himself, wondering why he was behaving like a stupid fool. What was he waiting for? What was he hoping for? There was nothing he could be waiting for. Nothing. Rather than to let his feelings be returned, he did not want to be the bad guy breaking the two of them apart. Allen covered his eyes, feeling tired and wrecked. This affection should already be put down three years ago, yet he was still holding it and before he knew it, everything just crashed down to the bottom.
"Allen?" Lenalee asked, coming to him when she noticed that he hadn't moved from his position. Everyone had already sat down, choosing the food they wanted to try from the menu. It was rather surprising for Kanda to join them because this obstinate guy wanted nothing but his favourite Japanese cuisine, but it had been three years. Everyone seemed to have grown out of their usual characters and changed. As he stared at them, he realised that he couldn't stay on like this anymore.
"Are you okay? You look really pale." Lenalee frowned, knowing the cause of it. She gripped onto his hands, giving it a real tight squeeze. This had got Allen's attention, as he turned to her in a slight bewildered expression. She gave a soft smile and hugged him gently.
"If you have reached a point which you cannot hold it anymore, please remember that I will always be here for you."
"Thank you...Lenalee," He mumbled softly.
"Hey, are the two of you coming to eat?" Lavi shouted.
"Yeah, we are!" Lenalee got out of the embrace, her hand reached out to his and clasped it. Allen followed her as they went to the table which was already placed with colourful dishes of delicious Korean food. The silver-haired teen settled down next to Rou Fa, which was the only available seat. He wasn't really comfortable though, because sitting across him were Mandy and Kanda. Lenalee thought of exchanging seats with him since she understood the situation, but he refused, saying that it would make it even obvious.
"Are you hungry, Allen?" Rou Fa asked. Allen nodded his head in agreement and smiled. There were kimchi, small dishes of vegetables and snacks that he had wanted to try a long time ago, and the dish he was looking forward to, was the spicy seafood hotpot. Thinking of it made his stomach growl with anticipation. He took the chopsticks placed beside his plate, and with slight difficulty, took some raw seafood and put it into the boiling soup. As he was about to put a raw chicken meat inside, his fingers suddenly slipped and both the meat and chopsticks fell onto the table.
"Is it the first time you are using the chopsticks, Allen-san?" Chouji asked. They were staring at him with incredulous gazes. Allen flushed in embarrassment. Lavi was laughing at the other side of the table.
"It just slipped past my fingers. And don't laugh, Lavi!" Allen snapped at the redhead in slight annoyance. After receiving glares from Lenalee, Lavi began to quiet down as he focused on eating his food.
"It's okay, Allen. I would always drop my food before I realise it. Here you go," Rou Fa said as she put the cooked meatball onto his plate.
"Thanks," Allen said with a smile, as he used another clean pair of chopsticks to poke through the meatball and popped it into his mouth. His lips parted slightly, and as hot steams of air escaped, he began to chew slowly. After a few minutes, he swallowed everything and licked his lips, feeling satisfied. As he looked up, he noticed that Rou Fa's face was a little red.
"Are you okay?" He asked. She stiffened at his question, slightly astonished. Rou Fa then looked away.
"No, it's nothing..." He just glanced at her for a moment, before he continued to eat. Allen then stared at the chilli paste he wanted to try when he was eating Korean cuisine, but it wasn't placed in his reach. Rather, it was between the plates of food which belonged to Kanda and Mandy. Silver eyes gazed at Miranda who was sitting beside Mandy in hesitation, wondering whether he should ask her to help him instead, but people would question on why he didn't ask Kanda to take for him since he was sitting directly across him.
He would rather die than to ask a favour from that arrogant jerk. Allen stared at his bowl of rice and took a spoonful of it, deciding to forget about it. It wasn't as if he could not survive without the chilli paste...though, he had a feeling that he would regret it. Allen gave a slight pout as he stared at his rice in slight dejection.
Suddenly, he heard something being placed in front of him. Silver eyes widened at the chilli paste that he wanted, before he looked up at the raven-haired adult who was staring at him.
"You want it right?"
"Mhm...thanks..." Allen mumbled as he chose to look down at the chilli paste instead, feeling slightly uncomfortable.
"You are here."
He looked up, seeing Kanda standing by the door. Silver eyes slowly widened.
"Why did you..." His voice trailed off as he stared at him, shocked.
At that time when they were still Exorcists, Kanda would always manage to find him, no matter where he was hiding. Surprisingly, it was always Kanda who would know his thoughts rather well. He could still remember exactly how Kanda would come in whenever he was facing problems. Even though he never said anything, he just somehow knew.
"Here, Kanda. You like this right?" Mandy smiled as she put a small fishcake on his plate. Kanda grunted in slight annoyance, but did not reject her offer. As they started a conversation between themselves, Allen just watched them in silence. Silver eyes gradually drifted to the boiling soup in the hotpot, feeling slightly uneasy and out of place. He sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment, before he heard their laughter ringing softly at his ears.
"You sound really happier than before, Kanda," Marie said as he stared at his former comrade who had been fighting alongside with him for years. Kanda just snorted in reply.
"Is it?"
"Ne, does Kanda always show such a bitchy face when he was still working with you all?" Mandy asked eagerly. Kanda turned to her, shocked.
"What the hell -"
"You wouldn't want to imagine it! This guy was famous for masking an expressionless face at that time. It took us a lot of time to encourage him to show more of his emotions. Well, it was rather hard to make him smile," Lavi commented as he laughed.
"Shut up, Lavi," Kanda hissed quietly as he turned away, feeling slightly embarrassed. Lavi snickered as he peered at the raven-haired man who seldom felt embarrassed about his own actions.
"Oh, you are embarrassed."
"You want to die is it?" Kanda growled as he glared at the redhead. Everyone burst out into laughter, knowing that he did not really mean it. As the remaining dishes were being served to the table, Lenalee said that they should meet again to decorate the Christmas tree together. It had been a long time since they came together and celebrate Christmas, like what they did when they were still in the Order. Everyone seemed to be fine with it, other than Tiedoll who had other matters to settle, and a reluctant Kanda who did not like social gatherings in the first place.
"Come on, Yuu. Don't be such a spoilsport," Lavi whined as he went over to him and nudged his shoulder.
"Go away. You are spoiling my dinner," Kanda said as he continued to eat.
"Ne, Yuu-chan!"
"I told you not to call me by my first name!" The raven-haired adult hissed as he gave a scowl. The redhead stared at him with puppy-pleading eyes as he begged him to come and join them. As Kanda stared at his incredulous expression in slight exasperation, the words he wanted to snap back just disappeared in an instant. He sighed as he felt his head and turned to stare ahead, wondering whether he had turned soft over the years. Those feelings just surfaced out of its own accord before he realised it.
"Well, Yuu?" Lavi asked again. Kanda just peered at the portrait hung on the wall in front of him.
"Well...when I finish my assignments on hand, maybe I could..."
"THANK YOU, YUU-CHAN!" Before he could finish his sentence, Lavi shouted at the top of his voice as he reached down and pounced onto him, giving him a tight hug. He almost choked on his food as he jumped slightly on his seat, frowning.
"Oh. This is really surprising. When have you become this soft, Yuu-kun?" Froi asked with a raised eyebrow, intrigued on the change in his stoic behaviour.
"Shut up, old man," Kanda muttered softly as he looked away. The former general just smiled, glad that his son had finally opened up to them. He sighed as he took his cup of rice wine and gulped everything down.
"So happy about it?" Komui asked at his seat, glancing at him. Froi just chuckled softly, before he stared at the group of teenagers talking cheerfully among themselves.
"Can't help it. Ever since I took him in, that boy refused to give me a smile, always living in his own world. It has always been my wish to make him smile genuinely one day. Now, my wish has finally come true."
"Yeah, it sure is," Komui murmured.
"Well, it is partly because of Allen-kun as well, right?" Froi said as he smiled at the silver-haired teen. Allen just blinked in slight bewilderment.
"Allen?"
"Yeah. Ever since Allen-kun came in as an Exorcist, Yuu-kun is beginning to change. For someone whose past isn't as good and yet still able to maintain a smile on his face pisses him off the most."
Silver eyes slowly widened.
"Because of this, whenever the two of you met, you and Yuu-kun would always end up in fights and quarrels. Your views clashes with his, and he does not like working together with someone who only shows sympathy to others and not to himself. He thinks such people is weak and will definitely fail as Exorcists whose purpose is to eliminate the enemy in front of him, no matter who he or she is," Froi explained as he scooped a spoonful of soup and poured it into his bowl of white rice.
"I have never seen him getting so worked up before. Frankly speaking, it shocked me."
"I..." Allen did not know what to say.
"So that's why, I have to thank you for this, Allen-kun. You have somehow triggered something inside that boy's heart which had shut off everything, helping him to open up once again. Although you and Yuu-kun's personalities totally differ from each other, somehow, I have a feeling that both of you understand each other more than we do," Froi continued as he took the spicy kimchi by his chopsticks and ate it.
"Like opposite polars...attract?" Bak asked.
"Eh? Don't tell me..." Fou said, pondering hardly, before a devilish smile appeared on her face portrayed with an evil look.
"What exactly are you thinking right now?" Bak questioned the robotic girl with a sigh.
Allen just laughed as he turned back to his empty plate and bowl, before realising that he had already finished his dinner. The hotpot was nearly empty as well, with almost nothing left except the remains of the soup. He felt the long strands of his silver fringe, feeling slightly stupefied.
"Why are you acting so strange today, Moyashi?"
"Are you going to run away from me again?"
"If you hate me, why are you doing this? Why are you...holding me back?"
"That is because you are the person that is fucking holding me back!"
"I couldn't erase you from my mind. Ever since you left like this, I kept thinking about you till it was literally driving me crazy! I also do not know what the hell is wrong with me, but something just struck within me that something strange was definitely happening to you that night, and I have to find answers to it, or else those memories would not leave me alone!"
"Who are you to me? What right do you have to make me reduce into this state?"
Silver eyes slowly widened as his heart pounded hardly at his chest. Kanda had changed so much...because of him? Why was that so? He looked up at the raven-haired adult.
Why was this so? Why did he...change so much?
He then remembered that smile he shared with Mandy in front of the Christmas tree. As much as he did not want to admit it, the reality was slowly sinking in. It was true that Kanda did change, but he did not just change because of him. Allen looked down as he gripped his denim pants tightly, having slight difficulty in keeping up with this pace. It felt as though...this person was slowly getting out of his reach.
"Allen, are you alright?" Lenalee asked, violet eyes narrowing with worry.
Kanda was...further away than he had thought to be. He stared hardly at his lap, feeling the tears slowly surfacing. He was so stupid to believe that his feelings could be returned. How could that be? They were just rivals, having opposite personalities of each other, and their relationship had already ended three years ago. They always quarrelled, bickered and fought when they did not see each other eye to eye. The silver-haired teen breathed in hardly, covering his face with his hand.
What was he exactly thinking?
"Allen!" Allen jumped from his seat as he stared ahead - straight into the sapphire eyes of Kanda's. As he peered closer at the deep orbs, he wondered why till now, he hadn't realised that his eyes were so bright and so beautiful from a closer view . He thought that his gaze was always very dull and filled with no emotions at all, but today, from the look into his eyes, he could tell that he wasn't as stoic or as emotionless as he really was. There was something even deeper; something which he couldn't decipher.
Allen looked at the cup he was holding and slowly let out a slight, bitter smile. He did not know Kanda one bit at all. Suddenly, it felt as though the both of them were still strangers.
"I'm alright. Just...a little giddy."
"Is it? Do you want to go home?" Lenalee asked worriedly. Allen shook his head in reply. He felt confused and lost on his own feelings. He had thought that among the people he knew here, he knew Kanda the most. He had to be kidding. He knew nothing about this guy. Nothing at all.
"I ate too much." He laughed.
He felt so tired towards this one-sided love, for the first time.
"I'm so full!"
"That is because you stole my share!" Both Krory and Chouji grumbled in frustration. Lavi just let out a loud burp before smiling sheepishly to himself. As the three of them began arguing among themselves, the rest of the group stepped out into the open, breathing in the fresh scent of the night breeze. Allen went out of the building, and as the night breeze brushed past his body lightly, he couldn't help but hugged himself as he tried to keep the warmth from escaping.
"So what shall we do after dinner?" Reever asked.
"Sing!" Lavi waved his hand and exclaimed.
"Crash into someone's house and chat till daylight!" Fou suggested excitedly. Bak seemed to have other plans, while everyone was suggesting to go to Lenalee, Komui and Allen's house to look around. Komui seemed to be slightly stunned by the idea, while Lenalee refused hurriedly, saying that she had not tidied up the apartment for today yet.
"Lenalee's house is really nice!" Lavi said as he grinned. Lenalee just stared at him in slight astonishment.
"How do you even know? It is as if you have gone to their house once," Fou frowned as she answered. Lavi just gave an arrogant smirk and sniggered quietly to himself. Komui was staring at him intensely for a moment, before his eyes widened as he came to a conclusion. Before the redhead could reply, he was held down by a pair of strong arms belonging to Komui as he was putting in his very best to strangle him to death.
"K-K-Kom-Komui, wh-what are...are you doing...doing..." Lavi gasped and wheezed as he clasped onto his arms, struggling to get free.
"N-Nii-san!" Lenalee shouted, horrified.
"If I do not exterminate you on the spot, I will not be called 'Komui Lee'! How dare...how dare you step into our house without permission...what have you been doing there, huh? Explain to me! Explain!" Komui screamed at his ears. Lavi just gasped as he realised that the grip became tighter. His face was gradually turning white as his eyes were rolling upwards.
"Scary!" Rou Fa gasped as she stepped back, terrified.
"Hey what do you think you are doing, Komui? Calm down, can you!" Everyone was trying to pull away the former Black Order's scientist away from the poor redhead who was gradually suffocating from the lack of air. After a few minutes of tedious pulling and persuading, they managed to separate the two of them, one side with Komui snarling and growling like a mad dog, and the pale Lavi who was coughing and spluttering as he breathed big gulps of fresh air.
"Komui, you are really going to kill me is it..." He muttered breathlessly.
"Of course! I won't allow anyone to get closer to my Lenalee!" He shrieked in reply. Emerald eyes just widened slightly as Lavi stared at him, stunned.
"Can you just stop your childish behaviour, nii-san?" Lenalee said, frowning.
"Lenalee! How could...how could you talk to me like that!" Komui gasped in shock.
Before Lenalee could answer, she felt a hand grabbing her right wrist as she was being pulled closer to the former bookman junior. Violet eyes just blinked in slight astonishment as she slowly turned to look at him, before her eyes widened at the serious expression he was wearing.
"Komui, no matter how many times you are rejecting, my feelings for Lenalee will never change. I hope you can understand." The atmosphere seemed to become tense as everyone stared at one another, unsure of what to add on to this conversation. Kanda peered at Lavi, noticing that the cheeky expression he always wore had disappeared. Komui seemed to be slightly shocked by the sudden change in his attitude as well.
"Lavi..." Lenalee followed the redhead as he walked to the back of the group, staring at the darkness ahead. She went to his side, sliding her arm around his as she leaned gently against his shoulder. She then peered at him, seeing him brushing his long fringe aside in frustration. She knew that Lavi had been taking in all of these, to a point which he couldn't hide anymore.
"Can you just stop this? You are spoiling everyone's mood," Reever sighed as he knocked on Komui's head lightly. Komui gave a pout, wanting to voice out his displeasure, but after seeing everyone's unhappy faces, he let out a huff, deciding to let this go.
"I'm alright, Lenalee. Don't worry," Lavi turned to her and smiled. He returned to the group and soon, everyone was eagerly discussing on what they should do for the night. The olive-haired girl looked at him worriedly, but before she could say anything, Lavi walked back to her and took her along by his hand. She then noticed that Allen had been standing there in a daze for a while.
I love you.
He had no idea why he felt so cold. Was it because of the weather? Was it because of the clothes he was wearing which were not thick enough to block away the wind? Or was it because of the cold and unfeeling reaction he got from Kanda after his confession? Somehow, as he recalled those heated words, that burning emotion he once felt was long gone. All he received was the painful tug at his heart and the emptiness he got from him and Mandy beside him. No matter how he tried to do, he couldn't chase away the coldness which was slowly stealing the warmth away from him. No matter how he tried to avoid, that awful stain would always be there, making him really sick and tired.
Suddenly, he felt strange warmth entering his body again. He turned around, his eyes widened in shock to find Rou Fa taking off her white woolen scarf and wrapping it around his neck and shoulders.
"I noticed that you are shivering for the past few minutes. You might be cold, so I thought that this would help," She said, focusing on wrapping the scarf thoroughly to prevent the warmth from escaping again. He wondered why she was being so helpful and kind towards him. Allen held the thick scarf up to his lower jaw, sniffing the light fragrance of rose. The scent was rather refreshing. Allen peered down, realising that he had finally stopped shivering.
"I'm glad that you have stopped shivering. Feeling better now?" She asked.
His hand gripped onto the furry and warm material of the scarf, feeling slightly uneasy. As he looked elsewhere, his eyes had accidentally met Kanda's gaze once again. Allen looked elsewhere immediately.
"I think we should just go back to rest early, considering that some of you might have jet-lag after reaching London," Lenalee said. Everyone seemed to agree, and after a few minutes, everyone was walking separate ways.
"See you in Christmas!"
"See you!"
"Bye!"
He and Kanda were going separate ways. Allen stared ahead, seeing him and Mandy standing closely together, smiles lit on their faces. He saw the pair of hands patting on her shoulders gently. She was trying to control her giggles, while Kanda just frowned and gave her a look.
I'm sorry.
It went back to the night whereby he rejected that hand three years ago. Now, as he stared from afar, that same hand was reaching out for someone instead. Silver eyes widened as he felt a sudden twist of heavy emotions within him, making him feel slightly lightheaded. If he had got hold of that pair of hands at that time, would he be seeing a different situation now?
"Allen!"
He heard a shout, and the next thing, something grabbed his wrist. Allen felt a sudden whirl as he was being spun around and was facing a raven-haired man which he least wanted to see. Allen blinked in bewilderment and slight irritation at the presence of the raven-haired man, wondering why he was here.
"What the hell are you doing, you stupid beansprout!" Kanda snapped as he glared hardly at him. Allen looked around in a daze, trying to gain back his focus.
"Nothing." Allen pushed away those arms, looking away.
"Are you alright, Allen? You almost crash onto the lamp post!" Lenalee exclaimed. He stared at her, slightly stunned. The silver-haired teen then turned and stared at the solid metal lamp post just a few centimetres ahead of him for a while, before he looked up at Kanda.
"You dumbass...are you insane?" Kanda hissed. Everyone was staring at him in shock. Allen couldn't help but flush slightly in embarrassment at his clumsy behaviour. What stunned him most of all was the anxious and agitated tone in Kanda's voice, sounding as if he was really worried for him at that time.
However, as he thought about this, he started to frown in slight suspicion. He had no idea why Kanda was yelling at him, and why he was so angry just because he almost crashed onto a lamp post. Why was Kanda acting so nicely to him? Why did he care?
"Why do you care?" Allen retorted, silver eyes glaring back at him.
"Hey, hey. It has been so long since the two of you meet. Can we just skip the quarrelling? Lavi said in concern as he noticed the hinted fire lit between them which were about to start once again.
"What are you talking about?" Kanda questioned angrily. Silver eyes narrowed in anger as he shot a death glare at him.
"You know what I'm talking about!" Allen snapped back, before realising what he had exactly said. Silver eyes widened in astonishment as he touched his lips slightly, wondering why his tongue slipped at this moment. The silver-haired teen just stood there in a daze. He then turned and walked away, only to be stopped again by a hand grabbing his arm.
"What do you mean? I can't just ignore it and allow you to slam yourself onto that lamp post!" Kanda yelled in fury. Allen was about to argue back when his gaze met Mandy's who was standing beside the raven-haired man, giving him an astonished look. His mouth hung open for a moment, before he closed it and turned around, wondering why he had lost it all of a sudden. The silver-haired teen walked over to the olive-haired girl standing beside Lavi and took her hand, pulling her away.
"Let's go home, Lenalee." Lenalee just blinked, before she nodded. Everyone went separate ways from there. The three of them did not say anything throughout the whole journey, and as they reached home, Allen took off to his room immediately. As he turned and shut the door, he stood behind the door, staring at the blank night sky. His body began to tremble, and before he knew it, tears started streaming down his face.
Images of his confession and the happy moments spent between Kanda and Mandy today flashed in his mind, again and again and again. Allen covered his face as he slowly slumped down onto the floor. He hissed in anger as he rubbed away the tears messily, but the tears couldn't seem to stop. He gasped breathlessly, hitting on the left side of his chest which hurt so badly as he cursed himself repeatedly. He had a feeling that all of this was going to end, and this horrified him. It was supposed to be a happy day today, yet...
"Forget him."
His eyes slowly widened.
"If it really hurts so much, forget him. Forget him, Allen." Lenalee's soft voice echoed from the other side of the door. He just stared ahead in a daze. Allen then noticed the photo book containing pictures of his friends from the Order. He slowly stood up and walked over to the table, touching the edge of the book and flipping it open. He then saw Kanda in one of the photos, showing an emotionless expression. His hand slowly trailed along the photo, memories flooding in his head.
I love you.
As he shut the book and put it into his drawer, Allen swore it would be the last time he would shed tears over this. After brooding for so long, it was finally time to put a closing to it.
A/N: This chapter is mostly focusing on the bonding among the members. Not much Yullen, but there are hinted ones. I tried not to write too much angst on Allen, but I guess it's unavoidable writing Allen's feelings at the last paragraph. Tell me if there are any mistakes spotted!