Mickie quickly pulled back from me suddenly "i have to go" she looked agitated by the situation
"mickie" I reached for her and she backed away
"Don't touch me" she held a finger towards me "don't, touch me" I don't know whether I was reading to much into it but she looked scared "im meeting Trent I have to go" she rushed off not even looking back, I sighed, why did I have to fall for someone who hates me?
I was with Trent having a drink, he was a great guy to hang out with he was so not my type thought.
"You seem really distant with me" Trent spoke softly
I looked at him he turned the TV off and turned to me "i don't feel anything towards you" I spoke he turned his head away from me "i just, I just didnt know how to tell you"
He looked at me "it's fine, if im honest, im not really looking for a relationship and I think you are"
"not getting any younger" I chuckled softly with a shrug of my shoulders
"you'll find someone eventually, yanno what they say, if you stop looking they all come at once"
"they say that?"
he shrugged "i dunno something to that effect"
I chuckled "i know it's corny and I hate when people say it but, I would like to stay friends"
"me to" he nodded with a sincere smile
"where's mickie?" eve asked me when I got back to my bus and sat in the booth
"you ok John?" zack asked me sliding in opposite me I looked up
"yeah, im fine why wouldn't I be?" I snapped at him with an attitude
"ill ask again" eve spoke "where is mickie?"
"oh shut up eve it's not like I killed her chopped her up into small pieces and fed her to the fish" I stood up and headed towards the back of the bus
"john, where is she?" eve questioned as zack followed her
"with, Trent" I spat his name in disgust
"is that your problem" eve asked "is it? Is the fact mickie doesn't fall at your feet and beg you to sleep with her why your so horrible to her"
"no"
"then why John? Why are you so horrible to her, John, John!"
"because she's right" I shouted snapping once again "i did fall for someone who doesn't want me and it feels like shit ok, for the first time in my life I've actually wanted a relationship with a girl and she doesn't with me and it makes me sick! To think he gets her and I dont" ok why did I just say that? Is that what I really feel?
"john i-" eve sat next to me
"forget it" I waved her off "maybe this is god's way of telling me, the way I see women, is right for me, good night" I stood up and went into my bunk
I watched eve, she seemed uncomfortable under my gaze "i should go" I grabbed her arm as she got to the bus steps, I let her walk to the bottom and I moved my hand down into hers lacing my fingers with hers.
"i don't want you to go"
"please don't do this"
"tell me you didn't want to kiss me that day and ill leave you alone, you say that and im gone out your life"
She looked into my eyes "i cant say that" I went to kiss her again but she pushed me away moving backwards "but I cant be with you, im not being someone who you sleep with for a month get bored then move on again"
"i wouldn't do that"
"funnily enough zack, I don't believe you, look at Rosa, dumped her not even 5 weeks you were with her"
"but it's different with you and I got back with her, ive been with her years, I can commit"
I sighed when she interrupted me "you give me these feelings ive never gotten before, it'll be different with you, I know zack, Rosa told me" she gave me a look before walking away