"So Niall, you have recently been pictured with this lovely girl and two little boys. Now people have been saying all kinds of things but you just have to tell us…who is she?" The crowd ooo'd and I couldn't help blushing at my computer screen.

And I didn't even try to convince myself that the blush on Niall's cheeks was my imagination. Harry was smiling into his hands, Louis and Zayn were staring at him and Liam was nudging him with his elbow.

"That's uh…that's Lily." He said, and I shivered at the way my name rolled off his tongue because honestly the Irish accent never ever gets old. Ever.

"Lily," the hostess said, looking to the audience and shaking her eyebrows. "Care to tell us about this Lily?"

"I um…I'm not sure exactly what to say really. I mean…we talk. Not even on the phone we just call and leave messages because the time difference is mad. But it's enough for me." He said quickly, looking at the camera like he knew I would be sitting here watching.

"So are you two romantically involved then?"

"It's complicated." Niall sighed, looking down and scrubbing his face with his hands as Liam smiled and rubbed his back supportively. The crowd was going crazy.

"Complicated can mean a lot of things." The woman prompted.

"She's…well she's in school right now. And she has Riddle and Ronan to take care of and so of course I realize I can never be priority to them. I wouldn't want that. Riddle and Ro are amazing children they are…they're perfect. I mean…they're kids so they take a lot of time to take care of and there's always a mess and then there's just stopping them from like putting bark in their mouth and teaching them how to say milk properly and she…she has a lot going on. I mean the boys really are beautiful. They have this…this baby talk I guess and even though it's just sounds they can go on for hours. And I haven't even known them for very long but I can tell that they're great. Riddle is a bit of a trouble-maker, and likes to say no but he never really causes too much trouble and Ro is just the quietest, sweetest child you'd ever meet. Like I said, she has a lot happening right now. But she knows I care about her. She knows I want to know her and that if she was here with me I would kiss her but she's not and that is exactly what makes it complicated." He rambled, blushing horribly at how much he had said.

I understood his pain.

"I think I am obligated to say what we're all thinking: Niall you are sounding very much like a parent right now." The hostess laughed with the audience.

My stomach dropped. I really didn't like where this was going. At all.

"Those kids love him," Harry jumped in, smiling and I was grateful for him for taking the camera off Niall who was probably having a freak out right now because he'd probably never thought of it that way. "I mean, they only got to be around him for a few days but he helped out Lily a lot I know. But it is complicated and we don't want to really reveal too much about her sons just because they are little and so should have privacy."

"Of course," the woman said, even when the audience made discontented little noises. "But do you know how Lily feels about this?"

"She wants to know me too. I think we're both…waiting for the right time. This year's tour will be wrapping up soon. I'll have some free-time."

"Is there any chance you'll be taking a trip back to America then?"

"I think…that that's a possibility." He said, looking at the camera quickly. My stomach was tied into a million wonderful knots being tied tighter and tighter by the butterflies.

If I was there I'd kiss you.

"Just one more question," The woman said tentatively, and Niall nodded. "How old is Lily? I mean she has two sons so-"

"She's 18," Niall cut her off, his jaw clenching barely. I wasn't sure everyone could notice. "And she is probably one of the most amazing mothers I've ever met."

"Thank you, now we also have some question about your tour-"

But I wasn't listening anymore. My stomach was so terribly conflicted.

"Ma ma. Up!" Ronan shouted from beside my chair, and I quickly lifted him to my lap.

"How are you today squirt?" I asked, running my hands through his hair. He needed it cut. They both did.

"Wan joo." He said, and I rolled my eyes. Shame on Riddle for teaching Ronan to say want. Soon they'd be wanting cookies and cars and college tuition money.

"Apple or grape?" I asked patiently, getting up and setting him on the ground. He followed me into our little kitchen, standing in front of the fridge.

"Grwape." He said.

It was as if suddenly, in the few weeks that had passed from what I referred to as the One Direction incident, they had doubled their vocabulary. It was almost scary, how fast they were picking up words now. I had to watch what I said.

"Okay grape juice it is my fine sir." I smiled, pouring it into the cup and snapping a lid on before handing it to him. "Where's Riddle?" I asked, following him into the living room—to find Riddle colouring all over the walls. With marker. "Riddle!" I shouted immediately as an instinct, rushing over and snatching his hands away from the wall, careful to keep the marker tips away from everyone and everything.

"Ma ma. See?" He asked, looking at the wall and smiling. See. That was another new development as of last week. He liked to say it about everything now.

"Yes Riddle I see. That is bad. Do you understand me? Bad. You don't colour on the walls." I sighed, stressed out. I pulled the markers from him and capped them, looking around. "Where did you get these?" Of course he didn't answer.

"Ri bad!" Ronan suddenly shouted at Riddle, walking over and grabbing his face.

"Ronan-" I began but was cut off by the sound of the phone ringing. "Don't-" I began as Riddle suddenly pushed Ronan away from him. But instead of continuing I quickly grabbed the phone and clicked it. "Hello?" I snapped, walking over and trying to separate the twins with one hand. Ronan was crying loudly, even though I knew he wasn't really hurt. He'd fallen on his butt on the carpet. He was just in need of attention.

"Bad time?" Someone asked on the other end. Someone with an Irish accent.

"Niall." I breathed, but even then I had to be truthful. I couldn't ignore my boys and drop everything because Niall picked an inconvenient time to call. "Yes actually—Riddle, no—it is." I struggled to form a sentence while grabbing the markers up and pulling them away from his reaching hands.

"I'll go. Take care of them. Tell them I said hi." Niall quickly said, but I was already dropping the phone and grabbing Riddle by the arm, giving him a swat to the butt that immediately resulted in him crying.

But make no mistake, I did not hit him hard.

Ronan got a swat too. So now I had two crying toddlers, one of which had marker on his hands and face.

So instead of trying to wipe him off I just stuck both of them in the bath.

"You weren't being very nice today." I told them gently as I poured water over their hair. "Were you?" I asked.

"Bad" Ronan said, splashing the water with his hands.

"Yes, you were acting bad. You are not bad boys. You are good boys aren't you?" I asked them, carefully dipping my fingers in the water and sighing. The floor was uncomfortable and my jeans were splattered with water and I still had to clean marker off the walls.

But it wasn't a bad day.

"Hello?" A voice on the other end answered, and I sighed in relief.

"I'm sorry for being snappy today." I whispered, knowing the boys were asleep and that if they woke up all Hell would break loose.

"Don't apologize. How are they?" He asked

"Good, and only sometimes bad. Colouring on the walls. That's what you interrupted today. Riddle somehow got into some markers and ended up making a mural in the living room. I got most of it out but…you know. Oh well."

"Seems like you've got a future artist on your hands." He joked, and I smiled.

"Hopefully not a vandal though. God I can already see him though, running from the cops because he spray-painted stuff on the side of a school."

"He'll be fine. He's got you to steer him right.

"Maybe." I mumbled, closing my eyes. "Niall…I don't know what I'm doing." I whispered, hoping my voice didn't crack like I thought it had.

"About what?"

"About anything!" I cried, tossing my arm through the air. "I didn't give birth to those boys. I love them they're my sons but I don't…how am I supposed to know what's right? I don't get the advantage of instant motherly instincts. I just…I'm afraid I'm going to screw them up. I don't know if I'm parenting them right or if…ugh. I've been on this rant before."

"Yes."

"I can't help it. It's what I worry about most of the time."

"You shouldn't say sorry so much. Shouldn't feel bad about worrying. They're your children, of course you're going to be worried about how you're raising them. I imagine all parents feel that way. Biological or not."

"I know," I sighed, leaning my head against the couch and pulling at loose threads. "I saw your interview," I said.

"Yes, see that's what I was calling to talk to you about." He began. My heart was instantly in my throat, wrapping little veins all around my air tubes and choking me. It was a violent heart. "I was thinking…well, what with the tour wrapping up and a few weeks of recording and stuff to go through…maybe I could come visit you in the summer? Not for like, the whole summer just for like, a week maybe. Just to see you. And the boys." He said haltingly.

"Of course," I said, trying very hard to keep the utter relief out of my voice. For a second I'd thought he was going to say something about the parent comment. And that was a conversation I just wasn't ready to have. "I mean, summer is an easy time for me. I don't have school. Don't have work. I'd have the time to spend."

"Okay." He sighed, also sounding relieved. "But when I say me…I really mean just me. No Danielle or Liam or Zayn,"

"I know." I cut him off, smiling at his nervousness.

"All right…so…if you had to choose between living a very long and boring life or a very short, exciting one…which would you choose?" He asked randomly, and my smile grew wider.

"Long and boring." I answered automatically.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Boring doesn't necessarily mean unhappy. I'd be perfectly fine living a completely normal, average life. Kids, a house in a suburban neighborhood. Maybe a dog or something. And of course a real job. Real problems. Just…normal."

"You know…my answer was originally short and exciting. But you don't make long and boring sound so bad."

"I'm insightful. A genius, practically."

"Modest too." He joked, and I laughed, before remembering the boys and shutting my eyes tightly.

"I think I might have just woken the boys up." I laughed again. It was one of those days where even with the marker and the crying it couldn't be upsetting. I heard them stirring in their room and walked in, holding the phone against my shoulder. "You guys want to sleep with mommy tonight?" I asked them, pulling them out of their cirbs and allowing them to run into my room.

"Sounds like you will be having a sleepover." Niall said.

"I kind of miss them sometimes." I said, grunting as I helped lift them onto the bed. "I mean, I see them all day but so much of the time is spent taking care of them that I don't get to be with them. You know?"

"Not really," He laughed, "But I'm trying to understand it."

"Mama" Ronan whined, sitting close to me and holding his hand out for the phone.

"I think someone wants to talk to you," I said, before handing the phone to Ronan for a moment.

I watched Ronan sit with the phone to his ear and mumble a few things that weren't English into the speaker. Then I saved the phone from Riddle and his drool.

"I'm sure you just had a very enlightening conversation." I said, putting the phone back to my ear.

"I learned so much," He replied, and I could imagine him shaking his head.

"You know what I've noticed?" I asked him, holding my hand out for Riddle to play with.

"What's that?"

"You're real."

"Oh really now?" He asked, and I could tell he was smiling.

"No, I mean, you don't act for the fans. You don't put on a show for anyone. You're always just…you. It's endearing." I mumbled, blushing despite myself.

"Thank you." He said seriously. "And it should please you to know that you are the most real girl I have ever met. It's attractive."

"You're silly." I sighed, trying to de-intensify the moment. "And I'm afraid I really have to go now. Finals on Monday. Tomorrow should be a study day after grocery shopping. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay…bye."

"Bye…" I said, but didn't hang up.

"Bye…" He repeated.

"This is cheesy. I'm hanging up now."

And I did.