Chapter 11: Drawn, Against You
When thought is closed in caves, then love will show its roots in deepest hell. - William Blake
xxx
Silver eyes slowly widened at the three words which came out directly from her. Allen was stunned for a few seconds, his mind in total blank. He did not know how he should react in this situation, and it was towards a girl like Rou Fa whom he always treated as a close friend.
"W-What?" He asked again, slightly shocked.
"N-No, what I mean is...what I mean is...I like you, Allen!" Rou Fa stammered in her speech and managed to say out her main objective. She was flushing madly in embarrassment, and he could see that she wanted to run away and hide instantly. The silver-haired teen just stayed silent for a moment, processing in his head what he had just heard a few seconds ago. He roughly had an idea what she was talking about, but he just did not expect that to come to him.
Aah, so this was how it felt when someone confessed to you... He somehow understood how Kanda reacted when he suddenly confessed to him out of the blue. Allen blushed and turned away, feeling awkward and slightly embarrassed.
"I don't want you to be burdened by my confession, Allen. Somehow, when you come up and personally wrapped my scarf around my neck, I just felt like telling you this..." She explained hesitantly, staring at the floor as though it was the most interesting thing that caught her attention.
Allen just stared at her in silence.
"If...it is not possible, I wish that...we can still be good friends. Can we?" She asked, her eyes darting elsewhere for a moment, before looking at him again.
He did not know how to answer her. She was a nice girl, and it would be great if he liked her, but other than being a friend, he didn't – couldn't – get a special feeling when he was with her, unlike that someone who had ignited a bright and powerful spark deep within his heart, so strong that he was attracted instantly to it.
"Rou Fa..." His voice trailed off in hesitation. She stared at him seriously, and Allen couldn't bear telling her that the truth. The two of them just stood there in silence as the cold wind howled, drowning everything in its loud breath.
"...you...here...sneaking..."
Silver eyes widened slightly as he heard a voice from inside.
"...you doing here...sneaking around like..."
"Um, Allen..." She started to talk, but all he could hear was the voice of someone coming from inside the house.
The wind gradually died down, and the voice became clearer.
"Hey...what are you doing here, sneaking around like that?"
The silver-haired teen rushed to the door and slammed it open. He stepped inside and turned to look, only to see Lavi in a drunken state as he started muttering to himself regarding something about Lenalee. He searched around the corridor, but no one was there. Allen stopped in his footsteps as he frowned, wondering whether he might be hearing things. Or maybe it was only Lavi sprouting nonsense?
"Allen!" He turned and saw Rou Fa running towards him. She seems like wanting to ask him something, but her feet slipped and she crashed directly at his chest. Allen stumbled slightly as he got hold of her before she fell. She sputtered and sprang out of the awkward position, apologising profusely for her blunder and clumsiness. He did not really pay attention to what she was saying, his mind thinking back to the statement which he heard from outside.
"Allen, are you alright?" Rou Fa asked in concern. Allen blinked for a moment, before he turned to face her.
"Are you okay?" He asked, remembering that she fell just now.
"Y-Yeah, I'm glad that you are there...thanks..." Rou Fa mumbled softly and blushed. She then excused herself and went back to where Fou and the others were.
He did not say anything, his mind only filled with what could have happened when the confession took place. Lavi was calling out to someone in a drunken state, but who was there just now? Somehow, Kanda just entered his mind, and he wondered whether there might be even a single chance that it was him who overheard. However, what could have changed even when it was Kanda who heard everything? He wasn't supposed to harbor such hopes for him.
I like you.
Those words rang in his head repeatedly, like a mantra which refused to leave him alone. Allen grunted in slight irritation as he walked back to the living room. Lenalee, Komui and the others were there, chatting among themselves. The ex-general looked more sober now as he was talking to Marie at the moment. Lavi was dozing off on the couch. He wondered how the redhead found his way back here.
He then spotted Kanda at the windows gazing outside. The raven-haired man was holding on to his sketchbook and a pencil in his hand. He seems rather concentrated onto something that he was seeing – or so he thought. Allen raised his eyebrow in curiosity, wanting to go to him and asked what it was all about, but it felt awkward asking him such a random question. Who knows what he might reply? He had been rather cautious in his actions to Kanda ever since he confessed to him out of a mere whim.
"What are you looking at?"
Sapphire eyes widened slightly as Kanda slowly turned to see Allen standing beside him, asking a simple question. He wondered why he was taken aback by his words. Was that midget too initiative out of a sudden?
"No, I was staring at the moon." Kanda was good enough to regain his calm composure as he replied him in his usual emotionless tone. Allen found himself standing a little closer to the raven-haired man, peering outside to glance at the moon.
"It's really beautiful..." He murmured softly. The night and the moon brought him back so much memories. When he was still an Exorcist, he remembered that the night was always chilly when people and Akumas were killed. The air gave off an extreme foul smell, and the moon looked slightly dark red, as though it was bleeding itself. He also remembered one chilly night, which was also their last day in the Order, and what had happened between the both of them...
Allen froze, his hand unconsciously reaching up in an attempt to cover his emotions which almost surfaced.
Kanda did not notice, his eyes continuing to look at the night sky. He then opened the sketchbook and began to draw the outlines of his drawing. Allen peered at what he was doing, mindful to keep his distance lest the raven-haired man snapped at him for breaking his privacy. Kanda continued his sketching, his eyes travelling from the night sky and back to the sketchbook and back to the night sky again. His movements were light and swift as he drew out everything that he saw from the night view. Silver eyes followed his black and white trail, staring at the splendid art in awe. It was surprising that Kanda could draw so well.
"Did Froi-san teach you how to draw?" Allen asked out of curiosity. Kanda stopped and turned to him with a mortified expression. The silver-haired teen blinked, wondering whether he had said something extremely wrong and offended him somehow.
"No, obviously not," Kanda replied in a slight scoff.
"I...I see..." Allen laughed awkwardly. Kanda turned back and resumed in his drawing. He just stared at the raven-haired man and sighed. Kanda could be egoistic at times, especially when it was related to his foster father. Even till now, he still did not want to acknowledge that Froi Tiedoll was his father. When was he going to put down that pride of his and acknowledge it? It was so good to have a family as accompaniment. Mana had already left him, and a few years ago, his Master had also passed away. Although he had many friends, and was currently living with Lenalee and Komui, he still yearned for someone very close to live together with him.
Allen stared at the night view outside, before he glanced sideways at Kanda who was still drawing. Somehow, the atmosphere here seems a little awkward to him. He should leave since he had nothing else to say, yet for whatever reason, he did not want to leave. He just wanted to stay by his side, watching him in silence.
"Why do you take up drawing, Kanda?"
His hand did not stop sketching out the outlines and shading different tones of black to the artwork. Kanda might be too engrossed with his work that he did not pay attention to what he was saying. Maybe he did not even know that he was still here. Allen sighed softly as he peered out of the window, his head leaning onto his folded arms resting on the edge of the window as he decided to enjoy the cooling night breeze and the soothing sounds of the pencil drawing onto the sketchbook.
"Drawing allows me to be focused and would not distract me," Kanda replied, his eyes not leaving the sketchbook. Allen turned and stared at him in slight astonishment at the sudden answer. He looked at the sketch which was almost completed.
"It's really beautiful. Your drawing."
Kanda slowly stopped as he stared at him. Allen looked at all the features in this sketch which had described everything about the night view. It was clear, beautiful, and there was strong emotions in it which gave an impact to the drawing. It was drawn from someone who put his heart and soul in completing the artwork.
"Maybe you can draw a portrait of me?" Allen suggested jokingly.
"Che. Go ask that old man for it," Kanda grunted as he closed the sketchbook and walked back to the couch where his bag was. Allen laughed softly at his reaction.
The group decided to finish up the remains of the Christmas decorations before calling it for the day. Krory was helping out with the wires and lights, and as usual, he almost got electrocuted for his clumsiness at handling them. Miranda took a very long time deciding on where the ornaments should be put on the tree. Lavi, after getting more sober, was helping out in hanging the entire apartment with Christmas ornaments. Kanda was bickering with Tiedoll for some minor issues again.
It felt so nostalgic seeing this, as though he went back to the past when they were still Exorcists. Allen couldn't help but smile, observing the people around him. It was the right decision to celebrate Christmas together this year. Everyone was here enjoying themselves. Even an anti-social person like Kanda who hated parties was here to help. It would definitely be the best Christmas ever.
"Allen, why aren't you helping?" Lavi shouted from the corner as he waved at him.
"Che. A Moyashi will ALWAYS be a Moyashi," Kanda said. Silver eyes narrowed as Allen tried his best to laugh sarcastically at this joke.
"What did you say, BaKanda?" He hissed softly, his eyebrow twitching as he shot a threatening glare warning him that he dared to say that again he would not hesitate to tear his mouth off. Kanda turned and stared at him silently for a moment, before a smirk crept out to his lips.
"A...Moyashi?" He repeated, in a more innocent way.
Ka ching. This was it.
"My name is Allen, and I am NOT a Moyashi!" Allen growled and the two of them began their usual quarrel which had no end to it. But somehow, this type of feeling he had right now was so much better than those sad moments when he had to force himself to look away and cut all emotions towards the raven-haired man because of the sudden confession. Maybe...it would be better if they continued staying this way – as rivals who had their own prides to protect.
And when he decided, the pain at his heart surprisingly lessened.
xxx
"Thank you all for helping with the decorations! Then I see all of you on Christmas Day!" Lenalee said as she stood at the side, sending the guests off. Allen was in his room, gazing down from his window as he saw everyone walking off. The commotions slowly died down, and as he stared closer, he saw Kanda walking together with Tiedoll and Marie.
Just now, what was he exactly thinking? What was he thinking at that time? And why...when he decided that maybe, he and Kanda should remain in their current relationship as rivals...made his heart feel less painful? Does that mean that this was the right decision all these while?
Allen sighed, ruffling up his silver fringe in slight frustration as he turned back and sat on his chair. Does this mean that...he was able to let him go now? He did not know that it would be so simple. Now, all he needed to do was to feel the same way towards Kanda, and perhaps, those emotions that lit a fire in his heart years ago would gradually disappear. Life would turn back to normal. He did not need to be in so much pain from that raven-haired man.
I like you.
Allen opened his drawer and took out the photo book, flipping to the page where there was a photo with Kanda taken together with Lavi. He stared at the picture closely, remembering all his features and the memories behind this person. Tears slowly welled up his eyes. Allen closed the photo book and covered his face with his hand, feeling the wet tears leaking out and streaming down his cheeks. His heart clenched, and his chest tightened so much that he couldn't breathe properly.
But now, he felt that he could finally let everything go, one by one.
Lenalee was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. It was Christmas Eve today, and looking at the weather, it was just the right mood to start this festive season. The whole neighbourhood was covered with white due to the snowing last night, but the sky was clear today and there was no signs of snowing again. She smiled and hummed a small tune at her lips, putting the toast on the plate and taking it to the table.
"Good morning, Lenalee!"
She turned to see Allen walking down the stairs in an unbelievably good mood. The silver-haired teen was smiling throughout as he approached the table, eyeing the toast on her hand which was giving out such a nice aroma. Lenalee blinked, staring at Komui sitting at the living room who was also giving him a stunned look.
"Good morning. You seem to be in a very good mood today, Allen," Lenalee said as she put down the plate.
"That's because it is Christmas Eve today! Festive seasons always makes me excited!" Allen replied as he took the toast and ate it. Komui stood up and walked over to the kitchen, taking up a warm cup of coffee and sipped it lightly. He observed the two of them and the current mood right now which seems to be just...right.
"I see." Lenalee pulled a chair and sat down with them for breakfast. "Do you have any plans today?"
"I need to go and meet my college friend to collect my notes. After Christmas, I have to start studying again such that I won't be lagged behind," Allen answered, taking his glass of milk and drank it.
"Would you be able to reach home early?"
"I'm not very sure. It is rather far from here. I'm setting off immediately so that I can come back home quickly." Allen popped the remaining toast into his mouth and gulped down the rest of the milk. He took the plate and empty glass into the kitchen and placed them into the sink. He then walked out of the kitchen and walked up the stairs, disappearing in the corridor. Lenalee bit down her toast and slowly chewed, wondering what brought Allen such a good mood. Even though it was the result that she wanted to get, somehow it felt a little wrong.
"Isn't it great to see Allen back to his cheerful mood?" Komui asked, seeing his sister's worried look on her face.
"I know niisan. But somehow, it did not feel right. Am I...doing the right thing?" She questioned. Seeing Allen in such misery, it was best to forget the person that caused the whole thing, but that would also mean he would suffer another heartbreak. In order to force himself to forget, was Allen putting back his own masks to conceal his emotions and protect himself from getting hurt again?
"I'm certain that Allen understands what you are trying to do. He is not the Allen Walker that we knew in the past, Lenalee," Komui put his hand onto hers and consoled her with a gentle voice. Lenalee stared at him silently for a few minutes, before she nodded her head and smiled.
"Yeah."
Movements from the stairs were heard as Allen walked down the stairs swiftly with his coat and bag in his hands. The silver-haired teen grabbed his keys placed at the coffee table in the living room, before he wore his coat and took out his boots from the shelf, wearing them hurriedly.
"Come home early today, Allen," Lenalee said as she walked over to the main porch and helped to open the main door. Allen thanked her gratefully and ran out of the door, sprinting to the bus stop as fast as he could. After seeing his shadow going further away from the house, she closed the door behind her. At least, Allen was finally back to his old self.
She felt something vibrated in her pocket. Lenalee slipped her hand into the pocket and took out her phone. It was a message sent from Lavi. She read the message and seconds later, deep shades of red appeared on her face.
"What is it, Lenalee?" Her brother seems to notice her expression.
"W-What? Nothing!" Lenalee blurted out in a weird tone, and Komui was getting suspicious at what it really happened. He got out of his seat and walked towards her, grabbing her phone from her hand.
"N-Niisan!" She exclaimed, trying to get back her phone, but Komui turned away from her and read the message that she saw earlier. Violet eyes narrowed as he saw that the sender was none other than that pervert who stole his Lenalee away from him while he was overseas. As he read the message, his eyes slowly widened in extreme horror.
"Niisan, there is really nothing..."
"Nothing?" He asked again. Lenalee stared at him, slightly astonished. He turned to her with an extremely frightening expression that she quivered slightly and took one step back.
"This is called...NOTHING? How...how dare he...send this type of cheesy message?" Her brother was already beyond furious. Even though she was extremely happy for receiving the message, she scolded the redhead inwardly for sending such cheesy and embarrassing words.
"Niisan, can I have my..."
"No! This has to be deleted! How dare he...!" Her eyes widened. Komui searched for the delete button and was about to delete it when Lenalee reached up and finally grabbed her phone away from her brother who always made such a big fuss over what had happened between her and Lavi.
"Lenalee!"
"Niisan, why must you always disapprove Lavi?" She asked back, annoyed.
"Have you forgotten how badly you are hurt over him in the past, Lenalee?" Komui exclaimed angrily. Lenalee stiffened, her eyes widened in shock at his statement. Her brother was trying to protect her, ever since their family had been killed. He was just trying to shield her from danger, and she was very comforted at having such a nice brother, but it was time for her to make her own decision.
"I know you are worried for me, but at that time, he had no choice. We had no choice, because it was war at that time. Now, the war was over, and Lavi wasn't a Bookman anymore. He is just an ordinary young adult. Yes, I was hurt from his harsh words at that time, but...I still love him, and he explained everything to me - why he rejected me in the past. It doesn't really matter now right, niisan?" Lenalee asked. Komui stared at her in silence and with no expression. She could not tell what her brother really felt towards her answer. If he refused again, then...probably this was it.
"Che." Lenalee blinked, before she looked up at her brother who was ruffling his hair in slight irritation.
"If he dares to hurt you again, I will burn his manhood till he becomes potent!" Komui hissed as he walked away, muttering curses under his lips. Lenalee couldn't help but smile and thanked him gratefully for approving her relationship with Lavi, though she hoped that Komui could stop those threats which were terrifying her a little.
"Really, it's indeed a good day today," She murmured, a smile appearing on her face as she stared at the message that Lavi had sent.
I love you.
Kanda was sitting outside the cafe, busily completing his assignment that he had to finish by the beginning of January. He was now transferring the sketches he made into his laptop, creating outlines of his next project that he was going to do. The raven-haired man frowned a little as he reviewed his work, his hand taking up the cup of coffee as he sipped it.
"It's beautiful. Your drawing."
He stopped typing, his eyes staring at the screen as those words he said rang in his mind. Kanda turned to his sketchbook, recalling back what had happened last night. Though he hated to admit, but he was slightly proud at hearing Allen's compliments on his skills. He had that bubbly feel in his stomach, and at that moment, he almost lost control of himself in an attempt to smile. His heart thumped hardly in response, and he could not explain the exact feeling he had when he saw Allen's smile at that time.
Allen smiled most of the time, but definitely not for him. And that stunned him even more. That beansprout was just sincere in what he said, but for some reason, he couldn't get used to that side of him.
He flipped the pages to the one that he finished yesterday. It was a cloudy night, with the moon partially covered by the dark clouds travelling across the sky. The wind was constantly blowing at one direction, as though it was telling everyone that a storm was coming in that direction.
He knew that Allen was watching him silently at the side, even though he did not make a single sound from his position. It was probably his alertness from the trainings he had as a swordsman when he was still an Exorcist, but this time, he was very aware that Allen was there, and felt slightly conscious at what he was doing when the beansprout was standing beside him. He did say that he was more focusing when he was drawing, but frankly, he wasn't paying full attention at that time. Something else was distracting him...really distracting him...
Why was Allen so interested all of a sudden? He would always talk to him in a hostile way, but the conversation yesterday was totally out of place. It felt so casual and comfortable. There was no stress between the two of them, and somehow, his expressions began to loosen and he wished that they could continue chatting in this way.
Kanda could not comprehend what Allen really was. His mood changed like a wind, and he was somehow swayed by it.
He shook his head, reminding himself that he was in the middle of his work. He resumed in his typing, and after finishing the editing of the graphics, he saved his work and closed the application. He then opened his email, seeing the latest emails in bold that were sent about a few days ago. He saw one that was sent from his superior and opened it.
Kanda,
I'm sorry for disrupting your holidays, but you may need to return to the company early. One of our clients, Fujiwara, wants us to design a bungalow for him, and he insists on you to be the designer for this project even though I explained to him that you are currently away for a holiday until January. He wants you to come out with a sketch of the house and give it to him by February. It seems that you don't have much time left, so you have to come back early.
Sapphire eyes widened slightly. The client that his superior mentioned in the email was one of their major customers, and it would be a bad choice to ignore his request. Well, his current project was three quarter done, and he could finish the remaining when he returned to Canada. He had to leave around 2 – 3 days after Christmas if he wanted to finish it by the deadline.
But somehow, he was feeling slightly reluctant in leaving. Apart from the peacefulness in the country, there was something else. The beauty of the historical buildings? The snow?
When had he become so attached to this place?
The sunlight was getting slightly warmer. He finished up his coffee and closed his laptop, putting it and his sketch book into his bag before he stood up and left the cafe. Kanda slipped one of his hands into his pocket, observing the neighbourhood and the tranquility of it in the early afternoon. His boots stepped onto the snow as he walked, leaving a trail of white behind him.
He stopped by a traffic light. The wind blew lightly at the side of his face. His hair strands fluttered sideways, covering his vision slightly. Kanda brushed away the strands as he stared forward, seeing a couple standing opposite him.
I like you!
Sapphire eyes bore into the couple who stayed close to each other, smiles on their faces meant only for each other to see.
I like you, Allen!
The traffic light turned green. The people began to cross the road, and a few seconds later, he and the couple crossed paths. They did not notice him, and he did not see them either. Kanda continued his way forward, until he reached the other end of the road. The traffic light for the pedestrians turned red, and soon after, vehicles began to move on the road once again.
He could feel himself gradually drifted away from his consciousness. Kanda wondered why he was bothered over what she said to Allen last night. His mood plummeted at that moment when he entered the house, seeing the two of them in a very...interesting position with their hands held together. Frankly, he wasn't pleased in seeing her getting so close together with Allen – which he couldn't get it either. From her behaviour – the shy gestures, her embarrassing looks whenever she shot glances at Allen, and the constant deny when it was about Allen – it showed everything. She was so obvious, like an open book. He wasn't stupid enough to realise her feelings towards that beansprout.
So, someone had finally confessed to that idiot? It was better for him that way. He could finally forget what Allen had said that night and the emotions that shook him since Allen stepped into his life once again. He did not need to feel so bothered just by seeing Allen and meddling into his affairs. That beansprout could do whatever he wanted, because it wasn't his business to interfere.
However, that pleasurable feeling he supposed to have wasn't there. It was completely empty, and seeing that moment was making it worse, to the point which he was getting so irritated that it was causing him headaches. And damn, to his horror, he actually ran away before he could hear Allen reply back to her! What the hell! It was his first time running away pathetically like that! As Kanda thought about it, he really wished he could slam himself on the wall and die on the spot.
What was Allen's reply at that time? He wasn't really curious about it. It was that beansprout's own decision whether he wanted to accept her confession, though he wondered whether his confession for him was really true or not. If Allen really accepted her, it would be good. But what would his confession for him at that night really meant?
Kanda shook his head, ridiculous at that thought. What the hell was he actually thinking? He was straying away from the main topic! He was supposed to be happy for the change of situation. Those little words of confession did not matter. He did not care in the least.
He was walking along the street, observing the buildings as ideas for the next project began forming in his head. As Kanda walked ahead, the river appeared beside him, its water glistening brightly from the afternoon sunlight. He peered down at the clear water, before he noticed that there was a large parade square just right at the front. A large antique clock was situated at the middle.
Kanda approached the place, noticing that the crowds of people were getting thicker. Everyone was also going to the parade square as well. As he entered, he was slightly awed by the large space he was standing in. Although there were so many people, it didn't seem to be filled up. Little snow were scattered on the pavement, with some of it on the antique clock. It was marvelous.
He did not know where he was, but well, he could check on it later.
The day view was really splendid and beautiful. The sky was clear, the sun shining brightly above. It was simply breath taking. He wanted to take all of this down. Kanda walked a little closer to the antique clock, peering at the time. It was currently four in the afternoon.
Sapphire eyes then widened at seeing the silver-haired teen just standing directly a few metres in front of him. The first thought that went across his mind was "What the hell was he here!". It was purely coincidental, though he wondered whether the coincidences between him and Allen were a little too much. He then noticed that Allen was talking to someone of similar age to him. That beansprout was at all smiles when he was talking to the other party. Somehow, seeing this made him slightly irritated.
Why am I still here? He pondered. Recently, he noticed that he had been looking at Allen unconsciously. It was certainly a bad sign – that he was putting down his disapproval towards Allen. And somehow, a warm feeling was invading him and replacing the hatred that he used to have towards Allen.
What was that? He just knew that he had to get away from that warm feeling, before he was trapped by it.
The guy who was probably Allen's friend waved to him as he left. Allen was smiling as he waved back. His eyes widened at the radiant smile that Allen made, similar to the smile last night. Kanda continued to observe him from a distance. His silver hair fluttered lightly in the direction of the breeze, touching his lips lightly.
The raven-haired man slowly took out his sketch book and pencil and flipped to a new blank page. He did not know what exactly he was doing. He couldn't control himself, his body somewhat moving on its own and he began to draw down whatever he was seeing right now. As the wind blew past, a lonesome boy with silver hair stood on the snowy white ground, staring at the sky with an expression filled with mixed emotions. He drew down his facial expressions very clearly with fine details, showing the strong emotion Allen had when he was staring somewhere in the sky.
He stopped drawing, and he totally had no idea why he did that. Kanda stared at the beautiful picture about Allen Walker he had drawn in slight horror, and as he touched it gently, his heart began to clench slightly. His grip gradually loosened and his pencil fell onto the ground. He was so shocked and shaken that his hand started trembling on its own. He shouldn't – mustn't – think about him anymore, but everything was so messed up that he could no longer tell whether he was acting by his own demands or his inner consciousness.
A rush of wind brushed past him. Kanda realised that his pencil was on the floor and knelt down to pick it up. As he stood up and stared at the front, sapphire eyes widened to see Allen turning towards his direction. It was extremely crowded everywhere, but somehow, the distance between him and Allen was completely deserted.
He couldn't breathe, and his heart raced.
What was this?
What was this feeling?
"Allen!"
Kanda turned away. Allen blinked as he turned back to see his friend running back to him. The raven-haired man just stared at the ground, horrified. He swallowed, not comprehending his current situation. He gripped his coat tightly, recalling the words that he said on that particular night, and that tingling yet warm feeling he got when he saw Allen.
It is because...I love you.
His heart finally skipped a beat, towards the stupid and foolish beansprout.
After he got his notes from his friend, Allen looked around the parade square, enjoying the evening view and the beautiful scenery that he did not even notice that it was already late evening. The air was turning cold and clouds were gathering at this area. There might be a possibility that it would snow heavily tonight. Allen pulled his coat closer to his body, deciding to go home. He squeezed through crowds of people and tourists, unknowingly touching someone's hand in accident.
"I'm sorry!" He said, but as he turned, he realised that there was so many people that he had no idea whose hand he had touched. He frowned, before he continued on his way. The silver-haired teen managed to escape the horde of people and rushed to the bus stop to catch the bus. He was a few minutes late though, as the bus departed from the bus stop. Allen panted slightly as he reached the bus stop, having to wait for another one.
After a few minutes, the bus stop was filled with people who also wanted to return home. Allen spotted an incoming bus which was arriving at the bus stop. He made sure to stand a little close to the roadside which would give him better access to board the bus. The bus slowed down and stopped, opening its doors for them to board.
Snow began to fall from the sky. Allen peered out of the window as the bus closed the doors and began to move. It would be an hour and a half journey back home. He wished that the snowing wouldn't become heavier on the way.
The silver-haired teen cringed at the little space he had for him to move. He was being literally squashed at a corner of the bus, surrounded by people wearing thick coats and windbreakers. He gasped out, breathing in slight difficulty. Allen felt the window frantically and pulled it open, letting some fresh air come inside. He sniffed in the refreshing scent, feeling much better than before. As the bus moved on the roads, he couldn't help but stretched out his hand as little droplets of snow slowly fell onto his palm and melted into water. As the cool sensation touched his skin, he smiled.
Suddenly, the bus jerked forward. Screams and shouts were heard as everyone grabbed onto something to prevent themselves from falling. Allen almost toppled over as he fell together with the people. Getting hold on the railing, he peered outside to see what was happening.
"I'm sorry passengers, but there are some technical problems in this bus. I request all passengers to alight..."
What? Allen frowned in disbelief. This had to happen when the weather was turning bad in the evening. And where the hell was this place? The bus just stopped right in the middle of an expressway! He followed the people down as he stepped out into the open, looking at the surroundings. The snow was falling more heavily, and it was slowly accumulating on the road.
This was bad. If he did not find a way back home quickly, he might be stranded here until the weather improved.
The silver-haired teen walked over to the road sign. If he wasn't wrong, this place was still far away from his home. This area was more of an business district – a place for people to come here and work. There were hardly any shopping malls or homes or hotels around here. His heart dropped to the bottom completely. This was the worst situation ever!
He could see that the people who had boarded the bus earlier on was panicking as well. Some of them flagged down taxis to go home. He would have done that as well, but he rarely took taxi, thus he only brought enough money for public transport. It seems that the nearest train station was at least a few metres away as well.
Allen bit his lip, not knowing what he should do. For now, he just followed the crowd as they was walking over to the buildings just ahead. He shivered slightly as he slipped his freezing hands into his pockets to keep them warm.
The cold wind began to howl loudly at his ears, and the vision began to blur. Allen walked down the white slope covered with snow, arriving at the business district. Most of the places were closed due to Christmas Eve, so in other words, this district was like a deserted area with almost no one around. Allen licked his lips as he searched around the area, wondering where the people were heading to. He bit his lip in an attempt to prevent himself from sneezing but couldn't as he sneezed.
Oh, so there is a hotel here... He saw the hotel right at the corner of the street. It seems that everyone had the same thought in their heads. They intended to stay here for the night. Great, he might find a place to stay, but he didn't think that he had enough money for even one night. The prices for lodging would surely raise during festive seasons. Allen stood at the front of the entrance, staring at the people in slight envy as they began asking the receptionist for rooms.
"Moyashi?" Silver eyes widened at that familiar voice. He slowly turned around, seeing Kanda standing behind.
"K-Kanda?" He did not expect to meet Kanda here! How unlucky, letting this person see his pathetic state!
"Are you..stranded here as well?" Allen asked and smiled, trying to act normal despite the coldness attacking his stiff body. Kanda raised his eyebrow, not very sure what he was talking about.
"Stranded?" He said, walking into the lobby. Allen just stared. Kanda was an international designer, thus he surely had the money to pay the room for a night. He had the urge to ask him whether he could pay his portion as well, but his pride got in the way and he decided not to bring out such a favor.
"Why are you still outside?" Kanda asked.
"Aah, I was...I was..." Allen stammered out, processing reasons in his mind. He couldn't tell him that he was stranded here due to the bad weather and, due to the lack of cash, had to stay out in the cold for the whole night. He rubbed his arms, trying to fight off the intense cold which was numbing his senses. He was probably going to freeze to death first before he could even spend the night outside.
"Che."
Silver eyes widened slightly as he felt something warm grabbing his arm. Before he knew it, he felt himself being pulled into the lobby. Allen gasped and sputtered as Kanda pulled him inside the building. The raven-haired man literally shove him into the lift.
"Wh-What...What are you doing!" Allen exclaimed in coughs and gasps.
"Getting you a place to live for the night. Aren't you stranded here?" Kanda asked. Silver eyes widened again.
"H-How do you know that?" Allen asked back, unable to hide his astonishment at how Kanda hit the nail. Kanda just stared at him silently for a moment, before a smirk appeared on his face.
"Didn't you tell me that earlier?"
Allen blushed in embarrassment, wishing that there was a hole for him to dive into. He turned to face the front, trying his best to ignore Kanda's presence while recovering from the shock and embarrassment.
"W-Where are we going?" Damn, why was he stuttering! Allen shut his eyes and shifted uncomfortably.
To his relief, the lift stopped at the same time and opened the doors, showing a dimmed corridor ahead.
"My room," Kanda replied as he stepped out of the lift. Allen followed suit, registering his words in his head for a moment, before silver eyes widened and gasped in shock.
"Whattttt!"
"Shh! Keep your voice down! This is a hotel!" Kanda turned to him and hissed. Allen covered his mouth and nodded his head vigorously. He observed the place. It looked plain but extremely classy, and there was a light refreshing scent reminding him that he was at a place called home. In addition, this hotel was located in the business district. It must be really expensive to live here.
"We are here." Allen stopped as Kanda took out a card and inserted it. The door beeped once and was unlocked. The raven-haired man opened it and went inside. Allen peered inside, his silver eyes widened in slight absurd at what he was exactly seeing.
"Oi, are you coming in or not?" Kanda snapped impatiently. Allen hurried in and closed the door behind him. While the raven-haired man disappeared inside, Allen looked around the whole place, staring at the beautiful displays and galore and the structure of the room with wide eyes. He stared at the empty wine cups placed on the coffee table, before he went over to the white translucent curtains and pulled it, admiring the white view from here. It might be because he had never entered a hotel in London before, but everything looked just so perfect here.
"I didn't know that you live in such a beautiful room, Kanda!" Allen exclaimed in excitement as he explored further. Kanda entered the living room and took out a bottle of distilled water from the small fridge to drink.
"My company reimburses all my expenses here," He replied, peering at Allen who sat on the couch and grinned happily.
"Hmm, that's good, but wouldn't it be better if you live with Marie and Froi-san instead? At least there was someone to accompany you," Allen questioned him. Kanda placed the water bottle on the table and went to take his belongings from his bag.
"I'm not here for a holiday, beansprout. I'm here for business."
"It's Allen, not beansprout," Allen corrected him and sighed in defeat. He then remembered that the main reason he was here was because of the bad weather and the bus broke down at the wrong timing. The silver-haired teen looked down, feeling heat rising up his cheeks as he felt the reality sinking in. He was now alone, together with Kanda. There were no one else, only him and Kanda.
"Here. Take this." Allen looked up and gasped slightly at the pile of clothes that were thrown to him. He took the pile with his hands and stared at Kanda with a questioning gaze.
"Since you are staying here for a night, I supposed you need to take a bath for the day?" He asked. Allen blinked, feeling slightly surprised. This guy was treating him...nicer than usual. It somehow did not feel right.
"Y-Yes. Thanks..." Allen muttered as he stood up and proceeded to the bathroom located at the back of the room. He placed the clean clothes at the rack and entered the bathtub, turning on the tap to fill it up with warm water. The silver-haired teen then took off his wet clothes and entered the lukewarm water in the bathtub. He let out a content sigh as he closed his eyes. The coldness was replaced by the warmth of the water as it invaded his body.
"Don't drown inside, Moyashi. I don't want to find a corpse in my room." Kanda spoke from outside. Silver eyes snapped open at the remark and he frowned.
"Who the hell would drown in a bathtub!" He retorted in annoyance. That BaKanda always had something to piss him off. Allen peered at the different bottles of washing lotions placed at the side, and after pondering for a while, he took the mint-scented hair lotion and uncapped it, squeezing out a little of its essence on his hand before applying on his hair. The white foam puffed up between his fingers, trailing down his arms and into the water. He then leaned back and moved slightly in the water, feeling blissful. Maybe he should be glad that the bus broke down such that he could have a chance to come to such a luxurious room to stay for a night?
But it was Kanda's room he was currently staying. Though he was thankful for the raven-haired man to allow him to stay here for a night, he was still not ready to let go of the feelings for Kanda yet. Spending more time with him might waver his painful decision made last night. He let out a sigh, putting his hand at his forehead as he stared at the ceiling.
After a few minutes of washing up, Allen was dressed in fresh clothes as he got out of the bathroom. The long-sleeved shirt and pants were a little big and long for him. He wasn't that surprised, since the clothes belonged to someone tall-built like Kanda. As the silver-haired teen walked into the living room, he saw Kanda sitting at the couch, his arm placed at the edge of the furniture as he was watching the television programme. Few of his raven hair strands were covering part of his face, making him look rather cool and...beautiful?
Allen shook his head, wondering what dirty thoughts he had in his mind.
"You can use the bathroom, Kanda." Allen sat down on the couch and used the towel to dry his hair. Kanda stared at him, before he stood up and walked into the bedroom. Allen sighed again as he stared at the news from the television blankly. He peered at the windows filled with snow, hearing the howls of the wind from outside. Was it the right decision to come here? He promised himself to forget Kanda, but was it even possible?
"I feel...sleepy..." Allen murmured softly, his heavy eyelids closing as he gradually fell into a deep sleep.
When he came out of the bathroom with a towel hanging loosely on his head and entered the living room, he saw Allen lying on the couch, his eyes closed. His head was drooping as the silver-haired teen was sleeping soundly. Kanda approached him quietly, staring at the peaceful face he made when he was sleeping.
He put the towel at the side of the couch, supporting Allen's head before it drooped downwards. Allen let out a low grown at the soft touch of his hand. Kanda just stared intently, before his hand moved a little downwards, holding his chin in place. He brushed away the silver strands from his face carefully, peering at the long eyelashes from his eyes and the red slash of his left eye from the curse.
Somehow, his looks were enticing. That beansprout also had a strong alluring scent which he could not ignore. His fingers brushed across his skin gently, and Kanda found himself leaning closer to the silver-haired teen, slightly intoxicated by the sweet scent. His hand ruffled up his hair, bringing his face closer to his. Closer, to that pouted red lips...
Sapphire eyes widened. What was he going to do?
Allen moaned as he moved slightly, his eyes slowly opening. His eyes squinted at the glaring room lights and the first thing he saw. He slowly blinked for a moment, seeing blurred images in his vision. Several minutes later, silver eyes slowly widened as large as saucers at seeing Kanda so close to him. Allen couldn't help but scream in fright as his hands stretched out and pushed the raven-haired man away hardly, causing Kanda to pull back in slight astonishment as he stumbled backwards, almost tripping over the coffee table behind him.
"Wh-what...what are you doing?" Allen stammered, his face turning so white and pale. Kanda just stared at his dumbfounded expression and suddenly, he felt amused by what he was seeing. Allen noticed his slightly curved lips which was about to smirk and frowned.
"What's so funny?" Allen demanded.
"Why are you making such a big fuss over it? I just found you asleep here and come to check on you. What exactly are you thinking?" Kanda questioned back in return, raising an eyebrow.
"B-Because...you are too close!" The silver-haired teen sputtered in embarrassment and turned away, his hand covering his flushed face. Sapphire eyes twinkled playfully as he slowly approached the silver-haired teen and leaned downwards, his hands slamming down at both sides of the couch such that Allen had nowhere to run.
"What exactly do you think I would do to you, Moyashi?" He asked with a soft purr, a light smirk at his lips as his intense gaze bore into his, his finger trailing the side of his face lightly. He could feel the shivers from Allen as bright red hues appeared on his face. The silver-haired teen was trying his best to fight back the fierce blush appearing on his face.
Somehow, he looked...cute.
Kanda stared at the comical face Allen was making and turned away, his hand on his mouth to control himself from laughing. It was just so fun teasing that midget. He pulled back, seeing Allen's bewildered look at what he was really doing. The raven-haired man cleared his throat and just chuckled as he walked to the dining table, opening his laptop and switched it on.
"What exactly are you doing, Kanda?" Allen shouted across the room in displeasure as he stomped up to him and glared fiercely at him.
"Nothing. You think too much, beansprout," Kanda said as he opened the application, intending to resume in his project.
"You think it's funny playing with me like that? Do you?" Allen hissed angrily.
"Yeah, I think it's funny," Kanda answered. Silver eyes widened slightly in surprise and in slight anger.
"I see. You think this is funny, but I think it is extremely not funny...are you joking around with me? Are you...that oblivious?" A grim expression was formed on the silver-haired teen's face.
Sapphire eyes widened slightly in astonishment as he stared at Allen who was looking down on the ground. The silver-haired teen turned around and walked towards the door. Kanda frowned and stood up, running to him and grabbing his arm to stop him.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Then let me ask you, what are you doing?" Allen snapped back in a cold tone as he shot him a glare. "Are you that oblivious when I...!"
His eyes widened in astonishment. Allen turned away quickly, realising that he almost said everything out. The room was silent for a moment, the two of them not saying anything.
Kanda released his hand and let out a sigh, walking towards the windows. Allen blinked in slight bewilderment, wondering why he did not say anything.
"If you want to leave now, you may leave. I won't stop you. But the weather now is rather bad. Furthermore, your clothes aren't dry yet. Are you sure you still want to go out?" Kanda asked. Allen stepped up to the windows and pulled the curtains, seeing only a blurry white. He could hear the loud cries of the wind even though the windows were shut tightly.
Allen cursed softly under his breath. Kanda returned back to his seat and resumed in his work. The silver-haired teen sighed as he sank onto the couch, wondering what he should do. The night felt terribly long, probably because of what had happened between the both of them just now. He was so pissed and so embarrassed at the same time. Kanda did that out of his pure interest, and he just took his idea for a different reason! It was beyond mortifying.
Interesting? Funny? That bastard was doing it on purpose. Allen glared at the raven-haired man who was too busy in his project that he did not notice his fury beam shooting in his direction in an attempt to burn him into ashes. But why was Kanda doing this? That guy rejected his entire existence, and he said nothing upon his confession. He treated it as nothing. Yet today, he did the exact opposite. The silver-haired teen cursed silently to himself, his hands slowly clenching hard.
Meanwhile, Kanda glanced at the silver-haired teen who was facing the door, staring into space. He then turned back to stare at his screen, peering down at the keypad. What made him do that to Allen just now? He was sure that it wasn't just done out of a whim. His sweet scent emitted from his body was so overwhelming that he almost lost control and kissed him. When he saw his embarrassing look on his face, his tolerance somehow snapped and he just did that to him. And now, he was feeling a little guilty for what he did. The raven-haired man ran his hand through his hair, sighing to himself.
His cursed eye twitched slightly, and Allen began to regret slightly for accepting that raven-haired man's offer to stay here for a night. He scolded inwardly to himself and his big mouth which almost blurted out his feelings right in front of him. He did not know how he should face him. He thought of blotting out of here, but the weather was not improving at all. Furthermore, the road would be covered by snow and there was no way he could go back.
"Stupid weather..." He muttered.
"Go to the bedroom if you want to sleep." Allen looked up at Kanda who suddenly said something.
"No, I can sleep here. Ooh, so comfortable..." He answered stubbornly, lying down on the small couch with his legs dangling at the edge. Frankly, it was extremely uncomfortable. The cushion was hard and there was a weird stench from it. There was hardly space for him to turn his body as well. Allen groaned slightly and closed his eyes. Well, it was just for one night, so he had no choice but to bear with it. Only for tonight...
The clock ticked softly in the silence. Soft taps from the keyboard could be heard. The wind shrieked through the night, ramming against the window panes. And from that silence, he could feel the existence of Kanda – his soft breathings, his hands which were typing on the keyboard, and the familiar jasmine scent which never failed to bring him a soothing feeling...
Silver eyes snapped open. There was no way he could sleep when Kanda was around!
Allen sighed, staring at the blank ceiling above. His gaze slowly softened. He recalled that embarrassing moment when Kanda leaned towards him. The silver-haired teen covered his flushing face, remembering his alluring face, that husky voice whispering softly at his ears and that pair of beautiful and attractive sapphire eyes which never failed to steal his breath away. But why did he do that? Was it just meant to tease him?
The clock ticked softly in the room. He wasn't sure how long time had passed ever since he was staring at the ceiling in blankness. He couldn't tell whether the storm was still raging out there, and whether Kanda was still doing his work on his laptop. His eyelids were heavy, yet he couldn't sleep. He couldn't sleep with the presence of the raven-haired man around. His vision blurred, and he kept questioning himself why he was still accepting those feelings, yet no answer came to him. He finally decided to move on, yet that unnecessary action Kanda made wavered his emotions instantly. His heart still yearned for him. Was there any other way to get out of this?
Allen groaned and shifted his body around, only to tumble onto the floor due to the limited space. As he tried standing up, something warm was wrapped around his waist, helping him up. His hands gripped onto something which felt like a sweater as he stood up to his feet. Silver eyes widened at seeing Kanda standing in front of him.
"Go to bed, Moyashi."
"What...What do you think you are doing?" Allen hissed as he pushed him away, only to be grabbed by his hand from the raven-haired man. He turned and glared at Kanda in disdain.
"Are you playing with me now?" He asked coldly.
"What is wrong with you?" Kanda hissed in slight anger, not understanding why his attitude suddenly changed in an instant.
"I am perfectly fine! I am so alright!" The silver-haired teen snapped, slapping his hand away. He knew that Kanda just wanted to help him over to the bed to sleep better. He knew that he shouldn't be so selfish and flared his temper at him, but...he just couldn't stop himself. This guy just crushed his only hope completely with actions that were only meant to spike him. He could not stand it.
"No you are not! What is it? What is wrong with you, beansprout?" Kanda demanded as he gripped his shoulders and turned him around forcefully. Allen stared at the words imprinted on his sweater instead, silver eyes softened in fatigue.
"Haven't you had enough?" He muttered softly.
"What?"
"Is it really that amusing to see me in this state? I'm already beyond pathetic right now, so stop humiliating me and let me go, Kanda!" Allen yelled in frustration. He bit his lips, refusing to let the tears welling at his eyes to fall. There was no way he was going to cry in front of this person, but the bitterness in his heart was so overwhelming that he could not control himself anymore.
"I got it. If you intended on making me feel humiliated, playing around my feelings for you, you have succeeded," The silver-haired teen answered without emotions, before he turned and started to leave. As he reached the door and was about to open it, a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. Before he knew it, he was slammed onto the door.
And Kanda stepped forward and claimed his lips.
Hello! Really sorry for the extremely late update! I had been busy for the last three months and now, my school semesters are finally over. To make up for this late update, two combined chapters will be posted today :D I would probably be updating my KHR story 'Fated to Be', and 'Rewind' tomorrow as well. Woah, major updates -.-
Secondly, I would be officially rewriting 'The Black Assassin' with more exciting and intensifying scenes! This story will be semi-AU (with some spoilers from the current manga chapters), and the first chapter would most likely be released around May and June, after completing this story. Please look forward to it :)
And sorry for my grammatical and spelling errors if spotted! Don't worry folks, there will be LaviLenalee fluff in the next chapter, and Yullen is definitely COMING! :DDD
I mean it. So...
Please review!