I stood up when there was a knock at the door, I half expected it to be eve but instead John was there

"John?" I gasped we hadn't spoken since the kiss and strangely I had missed him and are stupid arguments we would have over the most trivial things.

The left side of his mouth twitched curled up into a nervous smile, "Hey…"

"What do you want?" I really wasn't in the mood

"Can I come in?"

I shrugged "i guess" I took a step to the side and he passed me. He dithered nervously in the middle of the room.

I closed the door "What's up?" I asked not really caring about the answer he was probably coming to have a go at me at the fact I lied to get out of line rehearsal today.

He ran a hand over his face and through his hair before putting his gaze on to me "Trent?" He finally managed to say.

I leant against the door, "If you've come to lecture me…"

"No. I haven't," john looked frustrated, "but I need to know… why trent? You told me you didnt have feelings for him"

I repeated the story I had told eve, just a shorter version "Alcohol, high emotions" I explained simply.

"So…" john stared at me, "You don't like him?"

I looked at him in surprised, "Trent? No of course not! Which makes everything seem ten times worse"

"Well, I wouldn't worry. This is wrestling where most of the men are players and most of the girls are sluts."

"Great. I'm a slut." I said miserably, knowing that it was true. I looked down, only a slut would have one night stands with a guy she has told her friends time and time again she has no feelings for.

John's eyes had widened when I looked back up I guess he realized what he had said "I didn't mean that! I just meant that things like that happen because they are sluts. They as in all the other divas, bar eve of course, Of course, you get normal people who do things like that too-" john babbled shrugging a lot

I grinned. I had missed him and his back tracking babbles.

"I get it." I reassured with a nod a small smile

"You said 'high emotions'... what did you mean?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Hmm, I wonder what happened before that would make me have high emotions"

His face showed me he immediately understood. "Oh."

"U huh…" I murmured, dropping my head.

"We never talked about that, didnt help that you avoided me."

He gently lifted my chin with his thumb and bit his lip. "I'm so confused," he told me in a pained voice, "I don't know what I want… or who I want."

"W-what?" I stuttered.

He smiled shaking his head, "Since I met you, everything's changed. How I feel" He broke are eye contact and turned his head away but didn't drop his hand "I don't know what to do."

"I…" My voice trailed off as I was unsure about what he meant, was there someone else was my first initial thought, who he wants? Must mean there's more than one girl right?

"You have messed everything up." John told me with a smile on his face, "I can't stop thinking about you and when we're together we have so much fun, in are own weird way and I feel like I can give up a different girl every night for you" He didn't tear his gaze away from mine, "ive been trying to think about what ive wanted but it's been so hard to concentrate when all I've wanted to do is kiss you"

My heart sprang to my throat and I opened and closed my mouth, not able to say anything but feeling I needed to.

"When I found out about you and Trent" I sore him close his eyes then open them seconds later "It hurt"

"John… what are you…" The words were stuck in the lump in my throat, why was I scared about where this was heading.

John gently rested his forehead against mine and took a deep breath "You were right, I did fall for someone who didnt fall in line like I wanted, and it feels like shit knowing she doesn't want me like I want her"

"have you asked her?" I whispered, my eyes scanned his face that was so close to mine but his eyes were firmly closed

"no, she was dating some long haired skater dude" he smiled as I chuckled softly