I hadn't seen eve in a while so i was catching up with her in catering "so um what's new with you?" i broke the awkward silence, since i thought me and john had become something i had been ignoring eves texts and calls wrongly.

"Zack broke up with Rosa" she had yet to look up from her coffee at me

"how come?" i asked

"she was cheating on him apparently" she nodded

"didn't he cheat though"

"no" she shook her head "only when they were split up or on a break"

I nodded "oh, ok"

"are you ok?" she asked looking up

I nodded "yeah"

"no your not, what's happened?" eve looked at me

"ill cry if i talk about it can we drop it" Eve took my hand and led me to the divas locker room bathroom "spill"

She stood and listen how I told her about how John seemed to change and how I fell for him, she didnt seem to pleased when I told her about the hot passionate sex with had on his bus. I sighed "then I met his fiancée this morning"

"what?" she said softly "oh my god mickie im so sorry"

"it's fine, it's my own fault really, I shouldn't of believed his crap again" I pushed my self to sit on the sink units.

"dont blame yourself, it's like me and zack, there so smooth they say all the right things so you get sucked in" she looked at me "Maybe we should just stick together and confront them together at all times"

"yeah but I like zack, we have this friendship"

"mickie" eve looked at me

"i cant be friends with zack" I sighed "this plans sucks" I mumbled looking away

I heard her chuckle "we're all going to Kelly's room for a movie night tonight you coming?" she asked

"sure" I nodded

"good, been awhile since all of us have got together"

I looked her "tell me about it, is... Rosa going?"

Eve shrugged at me "dont know don't care"

"course you don't" I rolled my eyes

"shut up" she playfully shoved me "i don't"

I was walking down the hall when I was suddenly dragged into a room by John. We stared at each other I opened my mouth to talk to him, to let him know what I thought, to show him how much he has hurt me, but the words wouldn't come out. I looked around the room nervously, I then realised I was in his locker room, I spotted her stuff, and I felt my blood boil, I slapped him, as hard as I could, I looked at his face, it was red and I was pretty proud of myself.

I went to storm out but he grabbed my arm "what the hell is wrong with you?" he shouted at me

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Dumping me for that fake blonde?" I yelled back at him, where were was this confidence to bite back at him coming from all of a sudden.

"I didn't dump you" He reminded me raising his voice

"What about the stuff you said to me john explain that" I challenged him "how it was different with me? How you could live with just me?"

"I never said I was single" He replied back to me, I choked on my own breath.

"You told me you weren't going to sleep around!"

"and I didnt! I never said I wasn't going to sleep with my girlfriend" I looked down "And I meant the stuff I said to you and I'm not going to apologise for telling you what I feel"

"What you feel? You let your 'fiancée' talk to me like that and you just stand there, what kind of man are you?" I snapped at him.

"It was wrong I know, but I can't end things with her, please Mickie you've got to understand" He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close towards him. "I want to be with you, but I can't" He whispered.

"Why not?" I asked shoving him away

"It doesn't matter; can't we just continue to do what we've done" He asked me, I shook my head.

"I'm no one's bit on the side"

"Mickie, please don't do this"

"No, john, no, you did this, what was I just another one of those girls on your list!" I sneered at him.

"No! Don't ever say that, you mean more to me then any other girl I've been with"

"that's not what she said" I snarled at him. "I'm not going to be with you when your with her, you can't have everything"

"I can't break up with her"

"Why not?"

He yelled in frustration. "just drop it" he shouted at me

"bye john" I said softly opening the door

"mickie wait" he grabbed my wrist "im sorry, I shouldn't of yelled" he moved closer to me "i need you, I miss you"

I looked into his eyes "thought we could have been good together you and me, go be with...Kim" I had a hard time saying her name "you clearly cant bare not to be with her" I pulled the door open I sighed as I looked him in the eyes "I'm not just going to be your bit on the side john, I deserve much more then that" My voice was shaking. "I deserve to find someone that wants me and just me, I should be enough for you, but obviously I'm not" I walked out and closed the door behind me. Here we go again, fighting the tears.