"Inquisitor, I do not wish to be discourteous, but you look as if you have not slept in a week." Lady Josephine spoke as the four leaders of the Inquisition hovered over the War Table. Nethra didn't know how to respond.
"Yes, you've been awfully quiet today, too. Is something troubling you?" The female nightingale crossed her arms.
"I'm sorry, I've just been having nightmares recently. That's all." The elf sighed, placing her hands on the solid oak table. Cullen studied her face as she shifted uncomfortably.
"Is it something we could look into?" Leliana asked with kind eyes.
"I can bring in the finest sleep hypnotist from Val Royeaux if you wish it." Josie chimed in.
"It's okay, really." Nethra threw her hands up defensively. "Solas has been helping me with it. It's just taking some time."
"Is he feeding you?" Cullen asked, "You look rather peaky, too."
"Is it just insult Nethra day or something?" She raised her voice. The three advisors exchanged looks. The elf let out a big sigh. "I-I'm sorry. I just…"
"Perhaps we should postpone this meeting to another time."
"I would… appreciate that, Josie. Thank you. Really." Nethra spoke with her head hung low. The quad packed up their papers and disbanded for the day. Nethra rushed out quickly.
"Ne-Inquisitor!" Cullen called after her, but she was almost running away from the room and clearly did not want to be followed.
"Perhaps it's time to start sending her flowers again." Leliana stepped by, winking over her shoulder at the commander. His face began to heat up.
Nethra couldn't help it. She was tired, nauseous from being tired, and not wanting to eat food because she was nauseous. Why couldn't they see that? She rushed up the stairs to her living quarters in hopes that she could sneak in a nap before any soldiers decided to remind her of her responsibilities. Waiting for her on her loveseat was her bald elven friend.
"I believe I've created a tea that will help." He stood up as she reached the top of the stairs. He raised his arm to reveal a small bag of dried herbs. His nose had been stuck in multiple herbology books for the past few days that they were back in hopes to find a remedy for Nethra's nightmares. Solas walked over to her kettle, pulling it off of the fireplace and pouring the hot water into a small mug. "It should take between a half-hour to a full hour for the effects to begin." He passed the mug to the freckled girl, who sipped cautiously. "It may not be instant, but it is a-" Before he could even finish his sentence, the freckled elf had collapsed onto her bed, snoring quietly. "Oh. Perhaps it was too potent." His eyebrow quirked up as he walked over and lifted the furs to tuck her into bed. "Erathe son, falon."
She stood in silence, feeling a presence near her. Soft fur brushed up against her, and a small huff sounded from the body beside her. It seemed to say "I will protect you,".
Nethra woke from her dream steadily, for the first time in a long while. Normally, she would have been shocked awake from whatever was happening in her dreams. She looked around her room, spotting a large bouquet of flowers and a white box on her desk.
"Zinnia and dawn lotus again." She mumbled as she lifted the furs to get out of bed. She walked over to the desk, opening the white box to reveal a pile of golden lemon tarts. The freckled elf smiled softly. They were her favourite. She popped one into her mouth as she heard the door to her room open and close.
"Inquisitor," A bald head peeked out from under the stair railings, "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes. Very well. Thank you, Solas."
"Your advisors wish to discuss your next journey. They were hoping to get you to the Western Approach to deal with the Wardens that Hawke and Stroud located." His eyes darted from her face to the gifts behind her. She followed his line of vision.
"Another bouquet," She smiled, reaching out to touch one of the white petals, "Aren't they beautiful?"
He nodded, "I am glad you enjoyed them."
Nethra's mouth formed an 'o', "Oh, forgive me Solas, I didn't realize they were from you. Thank you. They're lovely."
The elf nodded once more. "I will leave you to get dressed, then." He walked back down the stairs with his hands held behind him.
"How did you know lemon tarts were my favourite?" She spoke loudly with a smirk.
Solas stood in silence at her bedroom door for a moment, "Intuition." He spoke before making his exit.
She removed her casual clothes and threw on a long tunic and plain trousers before making her way to the War Room. She practically skipped to the meeting, and her advisors couldn't help but take notice.
"Somebody's feeling better." Leliana chimed with a smile.
"Yes well, presents can do that to a girl." The freckled elf grinned with a flushed face.
"Presents? From whom?" Josephine sighed dreamily, her true romanticist coming out.
"A secret admirer, perhaps?"
"Or perhaps just a person wishing to raise your spirits." Cullen muttered quietly, crossing his arms.
"It was Solas," The three advisors all paused, shocked expressions forming on their faces, "Although I'm unsure as to how he managed to figure out what my favourite flowers and my favourite desserts were."
"Solas?" Leliana frowned, turning to the Commander. "How peculiar."
The blond man's face was stern. Nethra could not tell what he was thinking.
"Back to business." He spoke evenly, placing his hands on the solid table. "Once you finish your task in the Western Approach, our Ambassador has predicted that we will have enough pull to get you an invitation to the Winter Palace."
"Oh, wonderful." Nethra's words were laced with a question about the commander's tone, but he simply replied with a solemn look.
"In the meantime, we must hire a tailor to help with your ball gown. Only the finest will do." Josephine spoke, attempting to hide her excitement, and failing miserably.
"Ball gown?" The elf let out an exasperated sigh.
"Well, we can't have you strutting into the royal palace with just a tunic and trousers, can we?"
"Will all of you be dressed up as well?"
The advisors exchanged looks. "We have a…uniform. It is customary that we shall not take away from our main attraction." Josephine spoke cautiously.
"Meaning me."
"Yes, Inquisitor."
Nethra sighed. "Well, I can't help what's already decided. Just please stick to a design that I can get in and out of easily."
"I will honour your request." Ambassador Montilyet nodded politely.
"In the meantime, I will prepare our soldiers for the long journey to the Approach. We will depart in four days." Cullen spoke, placing a hand on his sword pommel.
The quad nodded before parting ways.
Nethra had finally finished filling out the papers Cullen had left for her during the bathtub incident. The sky was dark, signalling another day over. She opened his office door to reveal a slightly paler version of him. During their meeting in the War Room, she noticed that his face was shinier than usual.
"Ah, Inquisitor." He spoke quietly, the flames of his desk lamp casting an orange light onto his face.
"Commander." She strode up to him, "I've finished the reports on Crestwood."
"Oh, wonderful." The freckled elf reached out to hand the papers to the commander. Even when sitting, he was still tall. "Thank you."
Nethra nodded with a smile. Something in the air had made their conversations more awkward than usual, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
"So…" The blond man evened out the stack of papers before putting them to the side. "Solas?"
"Yes, well..." Nethra couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes. "If I'm to be honest, I thought the flowers were from you. Back when we were closer, I remember having conversations about our favorite things. The only thing I questioned was how you could remember them after they cleared your memories of me."
Cullen stared at his desk. He let out a long sigh. "Nethra. Inquisitor. There is something I must tell you…"
Just then, a soldier burst through the middle door of his office, marching toward the commander hastily.
"Ser, Sister Leliana has replied to your message. You said to bring it back immediately."
Cullen let out an aggravated groan. "So I did. Give it here."
The soldier immediately saluted and marched out the door. "Well, I suppose I should get going." Nethra managed to speak. "Inquisitor's responsibilities never end." She chuckled nervously.
"Nethra, you don't have to…"
Before he could finish his sentence, the door closed behind the elf. The commander stood up, clutching his head.
Nethra made it halfway across the bridge to the rookery when she stopped in her tracks. Cullen had been repeatedly trying to tell her something, but over and over again he was interrupted. Perhaps it was time to have the conversation he kept trying to start. She clenched her fists and turned around, staring at the door to the commander's office. She let out a huff, and marched up to it. Grabbing the knob, she pulled the door open.
"Cullen, if there's something you need to tell me…" She immediately spotted the blond soldier hunched over, grasping at his bookshelf for support. "Cullen? Cullen, Maker's breath, what's wrong?" She ran up to him, kneeling under him to help him stand. His breath was short, and his brows were furrowed in pain.
"Please, you need to leave." His voice was weak. "You shouldn't see me like this."
"I'm not going to do that." She pushed up on his body, but he was very heavy. It was at times like these where she wished she'd trained as a warrior at some point. She felt his clammy forehead resting against her shoulder. "Please, try to stand. We'll get you back to your chair."
"I'm sorry, Nethra. For everything."
"Haven't I been showing you that you're forgiven?" Nethra muttered as she grabbed his arm, pulling him over to his cushioned chair. He fell down onto it, his eyes red and his face pale. "I'm going to get you something to drink."
As Cullen sipped on a lemony tea, Nethra pulled up a dusty chair from the corner of the room.
"How long has it been since you stopped?"
He looked up immediately, wide eyed. "How did you…did Cassandra…"
"Cassandra didn't have to tell me anything. I know what lyrium withdrawal looks like - did you forget that I used to live in Lowtown?"
His mouth was left ajar. He closed it slowly, looking back down to his tea. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I didn't want to…see you pity me."
"I wouldn't consider it pity." She crossed her arms. "It's more concern than anything. Have you told anyone?"
"Cassandra knows. She has promised to remove me from my position if it leaves me unfit to lead."
"I won't let that happen."
"Nethra…"
"How bad has it been?"
Cullen paused. "Some days are bad. Most are worse." He chuckled. Nethra nodded, staring at the ground.
"Is this what you wanted to tell me about?"
"Yes. No." Nethra frowned at him. "Well, yes and no. It's one of two things that I wanted to tell you. However, I'm sure you're not keen on knowing the second part just yet."
Nethra didn't question it. She was sure that it was hard for him to tell anyone about his withdrawals, and his other secret would be told to her when he was ready.
"Well, I'm proud of you. Going off lyrium is one of the hardest things to do in this world. If there's anything I can do to help-"
"I don't want your help." Cullen stated rather sharply. "I want…" He sighed in frustration. "…food."
"Food?" Nethra gave a puzzled look.
"Would you like to go raid the kitchens with me?" He gave a classic Cullen smile. It almost made her forget that he was feverish.
"That sounds fun." She smiled back.
Sorry I disappeared for two months - my life is a mess, what can I say? Thanks to Popo on the Go for the comment on my last chapter! Remember to favorite/follow/comment if you liked the chapter and the story so far. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Thanks!