"Now imagine there is a single bird in front of you. Imagine its every detail – its wings, its colour, the sound of its voice. Then wish it."
Nethra opened her eyes to see a small blue bird flying around her, tweeting expressively. Solas stood beside her with a smile.
"You are getting better, da'len."
The fade warped around them, and suddenly they were in a snowy town. Nethra glanced around noticing the rubble that was scattered throughout the area. The buildings were black and missing their rooves.
"Solas, are we…" She practically whispered.
"In Haven? Yes." He nodded for her to walk with him. They strolled from the chantry building down to the town gates, and onto the dock outside the town. Nethra froze when she spotted glowing objects hovering over the frozen lake. "Many spirits still wander here."
"Why are you showing me this?"
"This is where it all began. You stopped the civil war in the Hinterlands, saved us from a twisted future. You are an outstanding person, Nethra." He faced her. "You truly surprise me every day."
"Where is all this coming from, Solas?" She asked with a nervous smile.
His hand found itself resting on her cheek.
"The way you're acting…after the flowers and desserts…do you have feelings for me, Solas?"
He placed his lips softly onto her own. Her eyes were wide open. Slowly, he pulled away.
"There are many things I feel for you. If only you would wake up." His words echoed in her mind.
Nethra opened her eyes, panting. She looked around the room, then down to the furs covering her. It was all a dream. But if they were exploring the fade, then what Solas said and did was…
She lifted her hand to touch her lips with her fingers. She frowned. The winds of the mountains blew one of her balcony doors open. The gusts knocked over a pile of stolen croissants from the kitchen. Nethra smiled at the memory of her and Cullen running down the kitchen stairs laughing while carrying as much bread and fruit as they could manage.
"By the Maker, what a climb this is!" Nethra's bedroom door busted open, revealing a mustachioed mage trotting up the stairs. "It is absolutely no wonder why Sera ranked you 'best bum in Skyhold'. Much to my dismay."
"Dorian…"
"You must have a fan! Look at all this food – and flowers? Is this the same secret admirer as before?" The man asked as he picked up one of the many lemon tarts on her desk.
"Why are you here?"
"That's no way to greet a friend." The dark-skinned Tevinter huffed, popping the dessert into his mouth. "After all, I am about to travel several weeks to get to a desert, all for you. Or did the lovely Inquisitor forget?"
"Oh, Maker." The elf groaned, falling back into her bed.
"Lovely. What a great start to the day." The man wasted no time rushing over to her dresser and pulling out clothes to pack for their journey. "The whole world is waiting for you, darling. I suggest you look presentable."
Nethra shuffled out of bed, stripping her slightly sweaty nightclothes off and pulling a clean tunic out of her night table.
"I said presentable, not homeless."
Nethra groaned as a silk shirt landed over her face.
The two made their way through the castle, opening the entrance doors to find a farewell parade waiting for them. Varric, Iron Bull, and Blackwall were standing at the end with Nethra's favourite horse.
"There were more people, but you took far too long for the townsfolk to wait around all day." Dorian mumbled in her ear.
A familiar bald head glinted in the crowd, and no matter how hard she tried, Nethra could not meet Solas' eyes. She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Safe travels, Inquisitor." Cullen stood there in all his might, his fur shawl draped over his priceless armour and nice-smelling hair fixant taming his golden curls.
"Take care of yourself while I'm gone, Commander." She spoke solemnly with a small smile. He nodded back with a returning smile.
"Does the entire hold need to stop what they're doing for this?" Blackwall grumbled as they reached him and the hairy dwarf. "It seems so…unnecessary."
"If I were the Inquisitor, I'd have them doing this every time I got out of bed. I bet it'd be rather motivating." Dorian quipped, curling his moustache with his fingers.
"I don't doubt you would do that." Blackwall rolled his eyes before mounting his stallion.
"Hey, at least Jailbird doesn't let it go to her head." Varric chuckled as he brought his leg over his pony.
"I pray it never does." The grey warden insisted on going with them on this particular mission. He wanted to help his fellow wardens with the corruptions, but Nethra was cautious as to how easily Blackwall himself could be corrupted. She supposed she would see.
The trip to the Western Approach was grueling. If the day lacked a dust storm, they knew to expect something else that would slow their travels. Some days it was Red Templars and other days it was the Venatori. After meeting with Hawke and Stroud and an attempt to stop a group of corrupted Grey Wardens, the group found themselves in a cave now full of dead Red Templar bodies. They searched the chests and remains for anything ranging from coin to notes.
Iron Bull pulled a thick book out of one of the chests. "The Trials and Errors of Lyrium Control. Huh. I guess they skipped the part about going crazy, eh boss?" The Qunari warrior's laugh boomed throughout the cave as he threw the text behind him.
Nethra peered over for a moment, staring at the book that barely missed her head. She quietly picked it up and stuffed it into her rucksack.
That night, Solas appeared in her dream. He joined her as they overlooked the wastelands of the Approach, eyes fixated on the suspected base of the Wardens that they had faced with Stroud and Hawke. Solas was rambling on and on about the memories that lurked in the desert, but Nethra was barely listening. All she could think about was the battle that was soon to come to Adamant Fortress and the bloodshed it would cause. She knew it was for the best, but it was daunting nonetheless.
She broke out of her thoughts when she felt a pair of lips touch hers. Solas pulled away slowly.
"Ah, and she comes back." He smiled at her. Nethra could feel the affection in his expression, but she felt nothing in her own.
"Solas…" She wanted to tell him to stop. That she did not think of him in a romantic sense. But the attention was addicting, and she could not deny the thoughtfulness that went into the gifts he had gotten her back at Skyhold. Throughout the struggles of her past, she never had time for romance - it was a luxury that an elf living in a circle or alienage could not afford. To finally have time for it…well…she could not let it be taken away from her.
"I await your return, ina'lan'ehn sa." Beautiful one.
Before she had time to reply, he kissed her once more and disappeared into the fade.
All throughout the trip back, Nethra couldn't keep her nose out of the book the Iron Bull had found. It documented several lives of mages, Templars, and soldiers who had crossed paths with the drug the Templars were bound to. The chapter Nethra was currently on described the many uses of lyrium, including memory loss.
The trauma that many Templars face throughout their careers can be devastating. It is often a solution to remove certain memories from their minds in order to keep their focus. If it becomes the case that a Templar must have a memory removed, it is under strict guidelines that they remain taking lyrium for the rest of their life. If this rule is broken, the memories will come back in the form of nightmares. Then they will slowly make their way back into the soldier's conscience.
She read the paragraph over and over throughout the journey home. With each word she became more and more frustrated with her naivety. She was missing something. Of course Cullen was having these nightmares. But she was unsure if he quite remembered them while awake. She stared holes into the book.
"Would you like to read it upside down, just so you don't miss anything?" Dorian spoke from behind her as the sun cast a golden light onto their small camp. It was only a day until they would be back in Skyhold. Nethra was more nervous than anything to be back in the same hold as Solas. He would constantly visit her in her dreams, even when she preferred to wander the Fade alone.
"I just…"
"You were just wondering how to bring the subject up to our Commander."
Nethra's lips formed a straight line. She didn't know if she was in the position to be questioning Cullen about his memories of Kinloch. Especially if he wasn't aware of the memories yet.
"Come, come." Dorian slipped the book out of her hands, strutting over to the mess tent, where Iron Bull's booming laugh practically shook the canvas. "You need a drink, my dear."
The elf let out a loud sigh before joining her companions.
It's been a while! I had this chapter sitting in Word for a while so I decided to finally post it. Hope you enjoy! Please comment if you liked, disliked, or have anything to say about the story! I love comments (criticism is accepted as well of course!) See ya next time.