One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.
My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention Mr. Coolshot himself Shun, and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!
Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!
A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!
Episode Fourteen
MJ Jokes? That's Low/Stereotype Five
Runo and Alice sat in side-by-side beds in Runo's bedroom. "So yeah, we're glad to have you here working permanently for us! It's got me totally stoked!" Runo said.
"That's...good to know," Alice mumbled.
"And I overheard my dad saying you were, and I quote, the sexiest thing in this-a joint-a. I'm not sure if I should be angry at him or happy for you, really!"
"I hope that's a compliment."
"Probably, coming from him. Yep. Looks like you, the abnormally quiet shy girl, are getting ALL the attention. Yep. You. Just you. Yyyep."
This was a great time to flashback.
"Wait. I have something else to tell you."
"Hey, what was that about Bleep Surprise?" Dan cupped his hand over his ear. "I couldn't hear you over that BACKGROUND NOISE."
"Wait-"
"What background -- OH. THAT background noise. Anyways, stop calling it Tuna Surprise, it sells better that way."
"Hey, Runo--"
One of her cups broke as it hit the ground.
"...Hey, just...wanted to talk about...something," Alice said. "Is something wrong?"
"Oh, nothing! It's just oh my GAAAAAWD something AWESOME is gonna happen on the chatroom tonight! Better keep it a secret so that you can find out right when it happens because it's just so...oh my GAWD this is so SWEET!"
"Can we talk about something?"
"Oh my GAW -- yeah, we can talk." Even though they never really talked at all.
Well, Alice thought, now's the perfect opportunity to talk about Grandfather Michael. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Yes. Do it. Yep. WIll do. Yep. Totally. Wait a second. Wait for it. Wait. Wait. Okay. Soon. Getting to it. Okay, this is getting tiresome, let's just say it already.
"Runo, I HAVE to tell you something. Wait, are you even awake?"
She snored, obviously sleeping. "Hate...liver kebobs..."
"Well, gosh dangit!"
In some secluded forested area...
A run-down, heavily-damaged car cruised on down the forested lane and headed straight toward a much fancier house. It was nothing compared to Momo-Rutabaga, though. It "parked" clumsily into an ivory pillar, and everyone was lucky it wasn't totally destroyed.
Out came the driver...Billy! "I must be doin' sumthin' right," he said, tipping his hat. "Never imagined I'd get this far down the road."
"IT'S BECAUSE BLEHDAFEHSAGELAHEHKEREHLAGEH!" Cycloid spewed.
"And here I thought you were beginnin' to make sense." He began to push the door, but it opened automatically, letting him through! "Ah! Fancy living, that! Fancy if you wanna get attacked by a criminal!" He laughed.
Inside was a red carpet, a fancy tall stairway, and a group of tough brawlers! There was Carlos Santana, best bald brawler of Mexico and pretty much anywhere else since he was in fourth place, Jackie Chan Bruce Lee, the oriental-looking female-looking third-ranked one, and Combo Charlie, the backwards-cap-wearing fifth-place one.
"Hey," Billy said with a small wave. "How's everything?"
Behind him, a white-haired pretty boy suddenly appeared. When did HE get there!? "I'm looking for, oh, a suhtain TOP BAKUGAN BRAWLERS PAHTY," he said, putting his hand to his chest and turning his chin up. "Would we happen to be the-uh?"
"I dunno, maybe? I mean, they just gave this here address, and since this is the only house I 'kin find anyway, guess this is the place!"
"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you couldn't take a JOKE when you HE-UH one."
"And what would you be meanin' by that? What's the joke? That wasn't funny! Get out before I hit'cha or sumthin'!"
"No, no! The JOKE is that I am displaying my WEALTH of BRAWLING skills. And yes, it IS funny if you happen to have a sense of hum-uh that I possess. As for my brawling status, I just so happen to be rank numbuh two in this whole enti-uh suhcuit of brawlers. And that's VERY GOOD, you know."
"Yeah, like I didn't know who ya were already. Get lost before I MAKE you lost, Klaus London."
"Ah! The nuhve!" Klaus, astonished, puffed his chest up and stormed off.
"...You have gotten obtained some amount of skill," Jackie Chan Bruce Lee said, looking up slightly.
"Yeah, chico!" Carlos Santana said. "Good job on that one. I've always wanted to give that snob a beating Mexico-style. Nice to meet you, hombre!"
"Hey, thanks, y'all." Billy blushed, which he regretted. "I'm Billy Johnson, tenth-place brawler. Yeeeeeeehaw!" He gave a half-hearted thumbs-up yeehaw combo.
"Heh. Double digits, yo, double digits!" Combo Charlie said, laughing. "Can you believe this, man? Double digits! I mean, this kid's got double digits!"
" 'Eeey, when is this party getting under way, man?" Carlos looked around in confusion. "Only five of us are here, and even then one of us is already walking away! I should have brought my tortilla chips! That would've been TIGHT, man!"
"Well, dawg, it couldn't be the wrong place, now, could it?" Combo Charlie checked the invitation and tch-ed in frustration. "Man, now we gotta wait for some five other brawlers to show up!"
"And if some five of brawlers are of the being late," Jackie Chan Bruce Lee said, "then what of we are going to what do at this being moment now?"
Klaus was suddenly back. "Well, now that oy've recovuhd from Billy's sudden outbuhst" - he shot Billy an evil glare - "I'm quite ready to brawl someone. Anyone up fo' it?"
"I will do this of being ready for a brawl of between doing you and myself," Jackie Chan Bruce Lee said, stepping forward.
"I know you know I got the skills, gente, so I'm not letting you down on this one! Count me in!" Carlos said, inviting himself into the brawl.
"You know me, man. Me, I'm up for a brawl any day, man!" Combo Charlie said.
"And...you? Billy?" Klaus said, feeling sick about it but knowing it would be the polite thing to do.
" 'Course I am! Let's brawl, five ways all around!"
The art degraded as they commanded, "Field, open!"
Everyone went into another dimension.
"As you all may know alreadeh," Klaus exclaimed, "if you ah all as smaht as I think you ah, let's all be in agreement. This is an exhibition battle! No, wait...a speed play! Invented by yours truly!"
"What the hell is a speed play, man?" Combo Charlie asked. "But like Carlos might be sayin', sounds tight, man."
"One o' those battle royal things I've heard about?" Billy said.
"If the all of you is be now the agreeing with this what Klaus is being saying," Jackie Chan Bruce Lee said, "then thoroughly in that case and agreement I am being of willingness to be of trying it and in turn of going along with you in process."
"Wait! Hold on, gente!" Carlos Santana cried. "I still have no idea what this speed play thing is supposed to be! Somebody give me a heads-up here, amigos!"
"You'll see!" Klaus held out a gate card. "Gate cod, set!" He set the card...and it took up the whole field.
"Well, this is just fine 'n' dandy! I'll brawl with m' Cycloid! Right?"
"AFOOGABEH!"
"Bakugan Brawl! Cycloid, stand!" He pitched and summoned his signature guy! "Ability card, activate! Big Fat Migi!" Suddenly, Cycloid's right, more useful hand grew, along with his mallet-club-thing.
"BLABLUBLUBLE-EH, BLABUBUBUBLE-EH!" he taunted and spewed incomprehensively.
"That's nuthin'!" Combo Charlie started to breakdance! He did it very well, actually, accompanying it with grunts and what-not. "Huh! Hmm! Yeah! That's it! Now, Bakugan Brawl! Harpus, stand!" He leaped several feet into the air before tossing an Air Vent marble. It opened up into a green avian lady with little clothing and a lot of hair!
"Dang, man! What is this, WHAT is THIS?" Harpus complained, disgusted by Cycloid's presence. "What the heck kind of Bakugan IS this guy?"
"Ability, activate! Feather Shot!"
A bunch of wind spiraled around Harpus. "Oh, yeah, this is where it's AT! Watch me pound this ugly thing's face in! Wah!" With a whap of her wings, a huge gust of wind want sent Cycloid's way. He was now having a lot of trouble guarding against it.
"Heh! Now I've got lil' Double Digits runnin' fo' his money!"
"Ability, activate! Single Face of Many Rage!"
"What the -- ****, man, I didn't hear no other Bakugan come in!"
Suddenly, some other red Bakugan was also there. With one of his four arms he wiped over his calm face...and it became one of many rage!
"You two of the brawling will not be very able of the fighting and of the eventualling defeat of my Bakugan by name called of Asian Deity," Jackie Chan Bruce Lee said. "Beauty and combining with the strength is wondrous in this!"
Then, they all shielded their eyes, for a spectacular light just blinded them! It was one of Neon Genesis Evan-- wait, no, it was just a floating eye with feathers and tentacles.
"Yeh, mi amigo! Tenticlear's got you all so that you cannot move anymore!" Carlos Santana cheered. He proceeded to chant "Ten-ti-CLEAR" for a while.
"Man, what the hell is that?" Combo Charlie said, confused. "I mean, ****, man, I don't mean to be mean here but...****, look at that thing!"
"Watch as you all get crushed by ME!!" Klaus brought attention to himself.
"Certainly you are of the many confidences, Klaus," Jackie Chan Bruce Lee said.
"Where is YOUR Bakugan?" Carlos Santana said. "Show it to us and take your tail out from between your legs!"
"Hmph! Already the-uh! Ability cod, activate! Sing, my Bakugan!"
Beep. Boop. The middle of the field started beeping and booping. Standing idly, each Bakugan was pulled closer to the middle. Soon, a mermaid playing a harp rose from the field!
"Allow me to introdeuce you to my beloved Bakugan Splash Woman. Huh hahp playing is very beautiful, is it not?"
"It being of the mediocrity," Jackie Chan Bruce Lee dared to say.
"Ah! Well, who cayuhs about your puhsonaliteh, anyways?"
Jackie Chan Bruce Lee gave him an evil glance, but kept her cool.
"Anyways...does anyone ELSE CAYUH about my PRECIOUS SPLASH WOMAN'S ABILITEH?"
"Well, whatever, man! If you're gonna say it, just do it!" Combo Charlie insisted.
"Alright, then! My beloved and beautiful Splash Woman allows ME to -" But he was interrupted by purple glowing madness!
"****, man! All you had to do was say it!"
"Who's there?" Carlos Santana said, startled. Everyone looked up to see gathering storm clouds. The clouds opened up, revealing a pathway of blue light...and a levitating Mask the Money was slowly descending via that path!
"My name is Mask the Money."
"AAAAiyAAAA!" Jackie Chan Bruce Lee screeched, slamming both hands to her face. "You being the ranked upwards on number the one first consecutively this time!"
"So you've heard of me."
"Who hasn't!?" Combo Charlie said.
"How'd you get heuh?" Klaus asked. "Don't you KNOW the PROPUH way to entuh a deul?"
"Nnnno, not really. Besides, it's cooler this way."
"Cool? COOL!? What is this COOL of which you speak!? It doesn't have any meaning in this sentence! That's blasphemeh!"
"Look at your feet."
Carlos Santana looked reluctant. "Why we gotta follow yoMY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING DOING HERE!?!?" Right below them, seated in a purple haze, sat the legendary orb of Sega/Silence and, within that, Naga!
"Floors of being is have disappear!"
"Did the floors disappear, man, or am I just having a freakout or somethin'?" Combo Charlie wondered.
"Hey! None of us wanna be here no more, Mask the Money!" Carlos Santana cried. "Let us out before we come up there and MAKE you send us back!"
"Oh, I'll bring you back to your world soon enough, fellow brawlers. But first...a word from our sponsor."
"Play the tape recording!" Naga demanded.
"Huh!? Tape recordin'!?" Billy said. "Whaddaya need fancy stuff like that for!?"
Mask the Money played the aforementioned tape recorder. It said, "naga. naga. naga. worship him. bow to him. worship naga. fight for naga. protect naga. NAAAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"My brain hurts!" Jackie Chan Bruce Lee recoiled after that big shocker!
"Is it just me here, or is there something seriously wrong with her right now!?" Klaus screeched.
"I don't feel persuaded, man," Carlos Santana said bluntly.
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!!" Mask the Money demanded as they teleported back into the fancy foyer. He was suddenly at the top of the steps, looking down on all of the brawlers. "I have brought you all here for a very important announcement. You feel better, right?"
"Yeah pretty much," the crowd mostly said, almost in unison.
"Good, because - and listen good - your mission...is to destroy Dan Kuso. Oh, sorry, I mean Dan CRAP. Because when you use the right Japanese characters, it comes out as CRAP."
"Why should we destroy HIM?" Combo Charlie asked. "I mean, it's not like I've got anything against him. Heck, I don't know who he is! And I don't know about you guys, but I sure don't feel like going after this whoever-he-is brawler guy!"
"Also destroy the Bakugan Brawlers group."
"Hey, I kinda get where Charlie's goin' with this," Billy joined in. "I mean, I know a certain someone from this Brawlers group, an' she's real annoyin', but I wouldn' kill 'er for it. I'm a gentleman, I wouldn't touch a girl like that on account o' my values."
"Of his his this plan, I would be seeming not to understood of this his plan. Maybe not because of English."
"You're right it's not because of English, amiga! It's because what you're saying sounds really stupid! Don't be tonto, Tonto!"
"Yeah! Don't be tonto!" Harpus said, almost out of nowhere.
"Well, I suhtainly don't know WHY you foolish fools would pass up a GENUINE offuh like THIS just because of some MORAL VALUES," Klaus countered. "If you foolish, fooly fools would just leave it to me, I would SUHTAINLY take Dan and his gang of pretty boys and handsome guhls out of the pic-chuh. Unless...you fouh have any GAME."
"Oh! Yes! I've got game, hombre! I've got game!"
"Having of the game, is it good? Then answering something of yes, that is until I can make of sure?"
"Yes! Game is off the CHAIN, man! And I'M off the chain! So I've got game, and I'll show you that!"
"Don't you dare look me straight in the eye and tell me that I have no game. Me, tough westerner like me, and you say I ain't got any game? Now, that's just a crazy thought right there. And just like these other respectable brawlers I can prove it to ya, just you wait."
At the MewMew Brawlers Little White Rabbit Restaurant...
Fabio and Fabio's Wife were relaxing on the couch. "Honey, the catacombs-a are-a starting to get-a in-a my way-a when we're in the bedroom-a," Fabio said, drinking a notreal espresso. "You know, they keep-a falling-ing-a, and-a I keep-a kicking-a them off-a the bed-a. Now there's a whole big pile o' bones-a! Could you clean-a that-a up-a for me-a, honey-a?"
"Sure, Fabio," Fabio's Wife obeyed, immediately getting up and walking down the hall to do something he was too lazy to.
Alice burst through the door. "Aah, I overslept! Hi, and, um, sorry!"
"It's-a okay-a," Fabio dismissed. "Come into my bedroom-a later-a and-a feel free-a to take-a a day-a off-a."
"Thanks. Do I have to go into your room later, then? Because -"
"Yes."
"Where's Runo?"
"At the store-a, getting a couple o' things-a, at the store-a. Oh, and-a that-a reminds-a me-a...Dan's-a working-a here-a soon-a! I-a know-a how you like-a Dan-a!"
"I kind of LIKE Dan. Where's Dan right now?"
"He's down-a-stairs-a, making-a sure-a he gives-a the customers-a what they want-a!"
That gave Alice a spectacular idea! I'll tell Dan about this! He's trustworthy, sort of, compared to Runo! It's the perfect plan! Oh, and maybe I can chat with Shun! Wait, I forgot what I just thought back there. Oh well! Time to go get Dan! She ran out the door with a "thank you".
"Don't-a mention it! And-a remember to-a come up here-a to earn-a your free-a day-a later! Or there will be con-se-quen-ces!"
Oh, wait. Dan's gonna be a JERK about it.
--Flash back to episode eight...--
Dan snorted with laughter.
"What is it?" Alice asked, actually saying something again.
"That guy's totally creepy!" He had to laugh in his palm. "There's a hilarious joke they made on Family-"
Alice's eyes started watering.
"What, what is it? You're not RELATED to this guy, are you?"
Oh, no, I can't do this! Alice bit her lip, leaning against the door. That's it! I'll just call the most respectable guy I know who's not named Shun!
At Momo-Rutabaga Tower...
"You know, since I AM so RICH and all," Marucho said as they walked down the hallway, "I would have gladly picked you up and brought you here in one of my many, several private jets, or one of the several new hovercrafts! And, shucks, this is an honor, you coming to visit me all by yourself! You're so, uh, brave today! Let us sit over here, by the original statue of The Thinker!" They each took a seat at a solid gold table.
"Actually, Marucho...I have something important to tell you. And-and DON'T think you're interrupting me, because you're NOT! Not THIS time!" Alice was panting now. She hadn't gotten this angry in weeks. "I have a confession to make. And I don't care WHAT you think about it, just HEAR ME OUT."
"What? A...confession to me?"
"I love you."
"No! Not interested! Not like that!"
"Not interested in what?" she said. "I haven't said anything yet. Goodness, Marucho, I thought I could trust you!"
"N-n-n-no! You CAN trust me! Honest! What is it!?"
"You know that missing scientist Michael Kors? Well, he's my grandfather."
Marucho looked to the stars and screamed, "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
And yep, you, the reader, are no doubt confused and possibly offended. You see, in a timeline that won't exist, there once was a guy named Michael Kors, who was a fashion designer. Then one day he had a meeting after one of his fashion shows with notorious hypnotist Vice President Killeye. Nobody knows what transpired that evening, but all we know is the outcome: he suddenly wanted to get way too much plastic surgery, changing his face completely, and his personality became a lot more creepy. He spontaneously wanted to become a mad scientist, so he got several degrees online. Afterward he traveled to a bar in Russia for whatever reason and got into some crazy antics. Soon after, Billy Kors-Berenstein was born. Five years later, Alice Kors-Berenstein was adopted. She never really got to know her grandfather. Professor Kors ran into the deep woodlands of Conifer Island in hopes of accomplishing his newfound dream...to become a mad scientist.
And so ends a sad, sad tale that will never be. It's not real, but it is in this dumb story now, so don't shoot me.
And just as soon as I finished saying that, all of the brawlers gathered in person at Marucho's big tower.
"Wha?" said Runo.
"So Michael is your GRANDFATHER!?!?" said Dan.
"Wow, this is amazing!" said Julie. "I never knew you'd gone through so much tragedy! Can I have your autograph?"
"No."
"That's odd," said Shun, wearing a full jeans outfit: jeans, jean shoes, jean shirt, jean jacket, and a funky squishy 70's jean hat. "But I just met you, so I haven't really judged, so."
"Thanks, Shun," said Alice, sitting in the one chair they could afford to have in that room.
"Don't mention it?"
"This is something else," Hammy the Hamster popped in and said. "I never knew there could be a girl with such convoluted and twisted family lines!"
"Neither did I, but now is not the time. I don't want anyone else to see me "talking to myself"."
"Understood! Bye!"
"And there's more," Alice continued. "About six months after the Bakugan came..."
Alice was relaxing by the fire in her wooden country house. She was busy examining a gate card when she heard someone's breath not far behind her. "Huh? Who's there?" She turned around in her rocking chair to see her grandfather Michael breathing on her neck. She got up and hugged him. "Grandfather!" But he looked pretty ineffectual about it.
"What's this?" he said, taking her gate card and looking at it from both sides.
"It looked like he really hated Bakugan, as if he just wanted to rip that card to shreds or something. And then, the very next day... he disappeared. It's always like that, without warning!" She cried into a tissue.
"Don't worry, Alice!" Dan said, trying to comfort her by rubbing her belly. "After all, it's not YOUR fault your granddad's so creepy!"
"Don't rub there!" She pushed his hand away.
"But bellies..."
"Hey, Alice, I just figured out this is all so highly illogical!" Julie pouted. "You get away from my Dany boy and stop trying to get all the attention drawn to yorself okay???"
"Why would anyone wanna do THAT?" Runo huffed. "So LA-AAAME-uh!"
"Alice," Drago said, "have you heard anything about what really happened to Vestroia?"
"Not really, but if my grandfather really is going there...we might just have to go out there and find him."
"Oh, sweet, maybe we can BEAT the information outta him!" Dan said.
"He doesn't play Bakugan."
"I mean in real combat! Man, the rush I got fighting with Shun today was out of SIGHT, yo!"
"...Okay. Should we all go out to Conifer Island right now?"
"Let's do it...right after a brawl!"
"Wait, who said that?"
Suddenly, Suchi and Akuma were there! "Stop bein' a coward and BRAWL him! Again!" Akuma persuaded.
"No way! How do you guys keep following me!?"
Suchi and Akuma shrugged.
"Okay, if those two guys are going to follow you around wherever you go," Shun said, "I'm out."
"Come on! I'll lock them out of the hovercraft!"
"We'll pick locks!"
"Youbequiet!"
"I don't think I like them, either!" Julie frowned. "Guess well hav 2 let go of dnay boy then??? : ("
"Don't be so sad," Dan comforted.
"REALLY YOUD SAY THAT!?!?!?!?!!?1"
"Aah! No! I mean, BE so sad! Man, I'm never gonna be so comforting again, thanks to YOU!!"
"Why don't we just drop Dan?" Shun said. "I mean, no offense to you, just stay calm -"
"No way!"
"- but it's really important that we go there. We need more information if we're planning on saving Vestroia."
"But it's in RUSSIA! near MOSCOW!" Runo exclaimed.
"Yeah?" Alice asked.
"Yeah what? Vice President Killeye was from Peru, the man who supposedly changed Michael's life! And you know how Russia is!"
"Don't talk about Russia like that! I was born in Russia!"
"Okay, fine. But you know how Peru is with Russia..."
"Nope. I don't think anyone knows how Peru is with Russia."
"Fine, fine, looks like we're taking a field trip."
The Bakugan Battle Brawlers will be right back!
The Bakugan Battle Brawlers are back. Battle on.
We beatboxed into Your Town, Japan, where Father Figure and a still-paralyzed Dan's Mom were standing. A fancy black limo was parked outside of Dan's house, and some kid was pushed out of it, along with another thin-fat duo. "Hey! My parents'll make sure Suchi and Akuma don't get out again!" Dan complained.
"Dan, we don't have that kind of time OR patience," Father Figure said, hugging Dan with his free arm. "Besides, we're still trying to get that car out of the roof."
"Can we stay with you for a while!?" Suchi said with a big smile.
"Sure, Dan's friend, you can stay here!"
Suchi and Akuma high-fived. "Ye-heah!"
"Aw, no! Kick 'em out!"
"So long, master Dan's parents," Butler said, taking off with the limo. The limo cruised up the road and, once it was out of sight, started flying into the horizon!
"This is awesome!" Julie squeed. "I mean, it's too bad Dan couldnt come, but wow, this is just like Harry Potter!"
"Except with technology," Runo said, spoiling her excitement.
"We're almost there!" Marucho cried, looking out the window with glee.
"Already!?" everyone else said.
"Yes! It should be that huge dome-shaped building down there, the only building on Conifer Island!" Below them was an island full of conifers. They swiftly landed and broke into the building without much description.
"Dan would've gone crazy in here," Runo said, looking around with wonder and awe. Michael's lab was awesome. It was filled with a bunch of funky, mad scientist-y gadgets. "It looks amazing, really. I didn't actually think Michael was taking all of that science stuff seriously, really! Not like this!"
"Me neither," Marucho said. "All this stuff is really, truly astounding! I thought it might be very dusty as well."
"It's because I come every so often and clean," Alice admitted.
"You're a weirdo, Alice, so GTFO!"
Alice cringed as she thought about what Dan might say. "Anyways, l-let's just split up, okay?"
"Affirmative!" Marucho agreed. They followed her command for once. Runo went with him, and so did Julie, so Alice went alone or something.
"Hey, Preyus, do you feel something?" Halo Tiger asked from a pocket. "Because I certainly do."
"Yeah, no kidding! I feel all jumpy and what-not! Whazza hoozah!"
"Do you not USUALLY feel that way?"
"Nope, just talkative. W-W-W-WAIT!! I gotta jump RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOOOOOW!!!" Preyus leaped inconveniently onto a control panel. "Oops!"
"Preyuuuus!" Runo scowled, turning to look at what was happening. His stupid jumping had activated a monitor!
Michael's surgery-edited face was staring right at them! "YOWZA, what a face! Get me OUTER here!"
"The former Michael K. here, now Michael G," the guy onscreen said. "For years I have been trying to develop a teleportation device, which should be able to transport an object from one place to another. But one day, while I was working..."
Michael was working on his machinery as usual. "Do dee do dee do..." he hummed, pounding his fists on the control panel. Suddenly, as he was somehow repairing his machine, the really really huge teleportation portal screen whatever started glowing white and rainbow-y! All of the color started flying out with the glass panels, like a dead Yu-Gi-Oh card!
"Ach! Ooch! Eech!" Michael shielded his eyes as the glass stabbed all over him. "Stop it, I'm vulnerable!"
Within a matter of seconds, all of the glass in the machine was gone. "Well, THAT was a real bummer," Michael stated. "Well, time to scrape off all this glass and...put it all back in, then! Do dee do dee do..." But before he could walk away, a sparkly wind pulled him back! "Waaaaaugh! Why can't you leave me alone, big machine!? Woah!" He was dragged in!
"This would soon become a routine, though I didn't know it at the time."
"CRAZY GUY!" Runo shouted. "SO HE POUNDED ON HIS MACHINE, SCRAPED ALL THE GLASS OFF OF HIS SKIN, GOT SUCKED INTO A BIG WORMHOLE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND THAT WAS ROUTINE!?!?"
"Runo, mad scientist, remember?" Marucho said.
"The story's getting good! Don't interrupt it!" Julie got in closer.
"I later learned that I had accidentally opened a gate to a new world: Vestroia. As unbelievable as it sounded at the time..."
"Wowowoah! Where AM I?" Michael said, now levitating within a giant pepper. Around him flew popular monsters such as Flameyboy and Boboflarenoid. "And, hey, there's a bunch of zany monsters down there! Is this a dream?"
"NO IT IS NOT A DREAM!!" a dragon said, flying up and then back down to Michael's level. "I...am Naga. Tell me, little human boy, how you get into our world."
"And there I was, face-to-face with the dragonoid known as Naga."
Now all of the Brawlers (except Dan) were watching! "Best story EVER! Unlike Billy's!" Julie screeched.
"Aha!" Naga revealed a collectible trading card. "I can use this! I can certainly, DEfinitely use THIS!"
"That's just a collectible trading card!" Michael gasped. "That's completely illogical, and I should know because I'm a SCIENTIST!" Suddenly the card blew him away. "Waaaaaaaaaugh!"
"When I came to, I was back on Conifer Island, but to my surprise, in our world, six months had passed by! I realized that not only was time completely different there, but my going there had also caused some nonsense about collapsing protons to happen, thus turning everyone into both a marble and a trading card and also causing them to make all these crazy ability cards to fall to Earth! While I was gone, children all over the world were playing with these monsters of Vestroia in the form of a children's marble card game! These cards were absorbing their energy, although who knows how THEY got there or how they worked at all, and the monsters could only come to Earth in ball form. INGENIOUS. It is only on the battlefield with their same dimensional structure that they can transform back into their original forms.
"Although I really don't know why humans can go between dimensions. We're just special that way." He walked offscreen, and the screen went fuzzy.
"AWWWWW," the audience aww'ed.
"The show's over! I can't believe it's not still over!" Julie was outraged.
"I'm so sorry," Alice said.
"You don't have to apologize, Alice!" Marucho assured.
"No, I'm sorry about bringing you to a film with an indecent ending."
Marucho wasn't sure what to say to that.
"Stop treating it like it never happened," Shun said. "Coming from a mad scientist-type, it might not be all true, but some of it probably happened. Even though I still don't get it, but hey.
The story still continued! Now a more horrific, green, cloaked version of Michael appeared! "All hope is lost!" he screeched, waving his snakelike tongue everywhere. "This is Hal G., Michael never existed, and I was too lazy to write over those previous, uh, fictional events!"
"I knew it was just a movie -"
"NOITWASN'T, JULIE!!"
"So all who DARE to watch this, bow down to Naga! That is all! Also, I'm a vampire, so don't approach me! See? Look at the cape! Mu hu hu hu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!" He raised his cape some and disappeared...via a fuzzy screen.
"Ohhh, what a tragedy!" Julie blew her nose in sadness. "That was one of the best films I've seen in ages!"
"Okay, we all know it was a good film!" Shun tried to calm her down. "But it was also a true story! So what can we decipher from this, gang?"
"Well, my grandfather's...evil now. Why?"
"Minus energy!" Halo Tiger said. "Naga has a lot of negative energy around him...like this building!"
"It makes me jumpy!" Preyus said.
"Don't know how THAT works!" Marucho said.
"Do YOU feel it, Skyress?" Shun said, pulling Skyress out of his pocket.
Skyress made exaggerated coughing sounds. "Why'd you KEEP me in there!?!? I was GAGGING and CHOKING and I couldn't BREATHE!"
"Bakugan can't breathe. Or do anything else you mentioned. Anyways, answer my question."
"Obviously! I mean, would you REALLY think I'm any worse than these other inferior Bakugan because I couldn't sense it!? Of COURSE I do! Gosh, you're just like -"
"This is why I don't talk to you much." He slid Skyress back into his pocket.
"Hey! I wasn't done talking --" Her voice was muffled and virtually silent.
"Hey! Everyone!" Marucho shouted. "While carelessly messing around with this mousepad clicky thingy, I was somehow able to zoom in on the background!"
"How'd you know what things to press in a mad scientist's laboratory?" Runo said.
"I dunno, lucky guess? Anyways, just look what I found!" Marucho clicked several thousands of times and zoomed in on...Mask the Money! "It's a rejected techno band player!"
"No, it's Mask the Money," Shun corrected.
"Figures..." Marucho pondered. "They are working in kahoots with each other! This will change our outlook on Michael and Mask the Money forever! I mean, Hal G. Wh-wh-whatever."
"That dirty, corrupted soul..." Julie trembled in her boots.
"Oh!" Alice stumbled forward in shock.
"He said he works for Naga," Halo Tiger said, "and a little bird told me that Naga is powerful, so maybe they are BOTH serving Naga?"
"Also he's a vampire!" Preyus interrupted. "Don't go near 'im!"
"...Yeah." Shun sarcastically agreed with him. "And I heard something about an Infinity Core that they're trying to find. So if we want to prevent something really catastrophic from happening, we should find the Core before they do."
"But where do we start looking?" Marucho lost all hope.
"Well, Julie has heard of a place called Bakugan Valley. Bakugan Valley. Sounds like it could hold some useful, Bakugan-y info." A certain voice coughed.
"Who said that?" Julie looked around with a grin on her face. Nobody looked amused. She took a Bakugan from her pocket and cheered, "It's Gorem!"
Only Alice clapped. "What? It's polite."
"Well, YEAH, there's a place called Bakugan Valley!" Julie continued. "It's got all the Bakugan you can dream of! It's located in the heart of the Grand Canyon! It's a scenic cavernous wonderland! But there's lots of icky bats."
"Eww, let's not go there!" Runo brushed off the idea like a piece of irritating tape.
"Yeah, I'm with you on that one," Marucho said with a sweat drop.
"Uh, I'll just do whatever you do," Alice admitted.
"Okay," Shun said with a sigh, "guess we're not gonna find the Infinity Core."
"Fine, we're going!" Marucho blurted out. "But EW, icky bats! I had better invent some bat repellent or something!"
"Great. When do we get going?"
"Right now!" Marucho said as the flying car came barging in through the automatic doors. "Because hey, what's stopping us?" He shrugged.
"But I've got some pizza in the oven back home!"
"Pizza!? In that case we'll stop at your cool house for it! I sure could never resist a good pizza pie, that I cannot!"
"Let's just get in the car already!" Julie was the first one inside, having gotten a head-start.
"Okay!" everyone else thunderously roared. They all got in...except Shun, who stopped for a moment to turn around.
"Hey, what's up, Shun?" Hammy inquired.
"Oh, just some shady figures back there. We'd better get out of here before they start haunting us or something."
"Shun, why are you talking to yourself?" Runo hollered. The engine was starting up.
"Hammyyyyy, not in front of my friends! Well, SORT OF friends!" He hustled into the car and slammed the door. It cruised forth on the ground for a few moments, then cut off the exhaust and flew through the skies.
"Hey, are we still leaving Dan??"
"Affirmative! If my calculations are correct, nearly everywhere Dan goes, those two punk kids are sure to follow!"
"Hey, what am I sitting on?"
"Is Dan here? I wanna give'm a POUNDING!!"
"EEK!! Get out of our car!"
"Is Dan even here?"
"No!"
"Okay, we're leaving!"
Meanwhile, the five shady figures watched their car go. "Wow," one figure said in Billy's voice. "Ain't that the prettiest thing you'll ever see."
"And it'll be youhs as soon as you beat the crap out of everyone inside," Klaus' voice said. "Except for maybe the butleh. Youh a crappy drivuh, so you'll REALLY NEED HIM."
"What's THAT supposed t' mean!?"
"It MEANS that you CRASHED the CAH into the BUILDING, theuhfo you AH a CRAPPY DRIVUH."
"Why, you--!"
Jackie Chan Bruce Lee got between them! "Argument we not are having! If there any argument that we are being having, you of the double will talk out of system of you! Is everyone understand?"
Billy sighed and dropped his fist. "Yes, JCBL."
"What you say!? It not JCBL!"
"Sorry, whatever yer name is."
"Hey, y'all, stop all this crazy mess!" Combo Charlie insisted. "If we're gonna take these brawlers down, we gotta follow 'em! And that means now! Er, soon!"
"Hey, anyone of you chicos got snacks?" Carlos Santana asked. "Uh, I could use some."
"Here. Emergency noodle cup always have behind backside of shirt mine in case one of the someones happens to be of the getting of hungry."
"Uh...I-I don't know what you just said, but hey! Free food! Gracias! Hey, gente! I think there's enough for everyone! Let's have a noodle party!"
"AH! I am ABOVE such CRUDE things! AH! Combo Charlie, ah you with me? We've got to track down those brawluhs as soon as possible!" Klaus sighed. "REMOTELY possible with these IDIOTIC and IMPUHTINENT things!"
"Naw, we've got time! Who's got the utensils? 'Cause I ain't digging in with my hands!"
"Utensils for the emergency as also?"
"Thanks! You just come up with everything, don't you, Jackie Chan?"
"It Jackie Chan Bruce Lee."
"AH! This is ABSUHD! See you Bakugan Battle Brawluhs whenever I get around to it! And, hey! If you four take any longer I shall LEAVE WITHOUT you!"
"Hey, this noodle party is totally tight! I'm totally glad I asked about food, man!"
"I'm glad too, y'all! Now, I'm not used to these out-o'-the-country noodles, but DANG, they're fine!"
Klaus sobbed softly.
Hey Julie here! just met up here at Bakugan valley and boy o boy is it a strange place! -Julie
lol serching 4 infinity what we really need is curage! -Julie
Just saw vestroya. Looks like an acid trip!(not like ive ever had one). LOL I could hardly take it it was 2 much!!!! -Julie
Glad 2 kno dans back here. OH DAN. well anyways I hang in there and brawl and dans gonna protect me right? Getting better at baseball pitches! -Julie
battle on! -Julie
*Battle -Julie
We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.
Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!