Disclaimer: Trigun is sadly enough not mine, or there would have been way more episodes!

Chapter 6: Knives' POV
Ever since he heard the singing earlier that morning, late the previous night he had found himself lost in thought. He was having a hard time connecting the fact that he was to blame and not the humans for many of the problems that had happened to him over the years. It was difficult to change over one-hundred years of thinking in just a few days. Partially because he keeps wanting it to be right, partially from habit, and partly because he does not want to admit that if he was wrong, then he made some very bad choices.

For most of that first year of life he had loved Rem as much as he loved Vash, but then he had discovered that they were not the first ones like them. He had discovered that they were supposed to have a sister but she was dead. Had it been an accident he probably would not have had as hard a time with it but it had not been an accident. The humans had used her as a test project, an item. They had refused to acknowledge her as a person, and in the end she died in pain. That had started him down the path to hating humans.

Then there was Steve, the crude asshole who had thought it was fine to abuse Vash and him. Towards him he was physically violent, verbally cruel, and emotionally vicious. Towards Vash he was mostly emotionally and verbally brutal, knowing that Vash was closer to Rem and thus more likely to cause him to get caught. The crew when they found out about the problems did nothing to punish him, they allowed it to keep happening. Because of Steve he began to believe that there were no consequences for cruel actions.

By the time the time of the spider and the butterfly he had already developed a strong dislike for all of the humans except Rem. She had tried being there, but had always favored Vash with his easy-to-cry ways. When he had killed the spider, he had thought that it would make Vash happy because then the butterfly would live but it backfired and Vash became furious with him. It was then that he decided to get rid of all the humans. Maybe if he got rid of the humans, Vash would be happy with him. So he came up with the plan to kill them and systematically did it. Only, like the butterfly, it was completely unsuccessful.

Instead it drove the wedge that was between them even deeper. The next fifteen years after what the spiders call the Fall, he tried in vain to convince his brother that the humans were the same as spiders. Worthless. Only it never worked and as time went on, his anger and hatred grew until that was all he could think about. Then came the creation of the guns and getting shot in the leg. He still remembered how much that had hurt, the pain that had gone lashing through him. By then his telepathy had begun to develop and he found that he could hear Vash's fear, sadness, and regret in his mind even as his brother bolted from his life, taking both guns with him.

After that he had spent the following years learning everything he could about the gifts he had because he was a plant. He had even tried speaking with his plant sisters but could rarely understand what they were saying which made him think that they were not as intelligent or unable to express themselves because of their bindings. It had never occurred that he was the problem in the communication link.

Then he met Legato, a mostly human who had an extremely powerful mind gift, much like a plants, and that hatred he had held onto for so long found a follower. It was after that that he really started to get deadly because now there was someone there to praise him for it. Looking back, he cannot help but wonder how different things could have been had he not joined up with Legato and the Gung-Ho-Guns. They served him, and in return the darkness and rage that he felt seemed to be multiplied.

Just months after meeting Legato he had tried to get Vash to come back to him by killing Rem's remaining blood relative. During that little event, Vash had leveled the city of July, and he had nearly been killed by his angel arm. Had it not been for Legato getting him to the plant where he lived it would have killed him. However the small plant there had allowed him to heal within her tank and had continued to allow him to heal every time he was injured after that.

It was during one of his healings that he realized that the plants could talk, but he still could not understand why he got nothing but emotion when he tried to speak with them. After the July incident he had set Legato to driving Vash into non-ending pain. The rage he had felt at nearly being killed had been far more than his brotherly affection. Despite that, he had not wanted to see him dead, just hurting like he was hurting.

For twenty years the Gung-Ho-Guns harassed and hassled him, making his life hell. Finally they decided to start taking more direct action. It was then that Legato decided to kill him, because he thought that would cause him even more pain. Yet he had not stopped them, even knowing how much it would hurt his brother, he had not stopped them. Why should he? Vash had abandoned him. Twice. For the damn spiders.

Now when he and Vash had finally confronted each other he found he had lost and here he was, laid up with holes in his arms and legs to keep him from being a threat to the damn spiders. With a spider taking care of him, a very determined spider with soft blue eyes and blonde-auburn hair. What in the hell was his life coming too? The only plus side was he could now understand his sisters like he had wanted to for so long.

All of this passed through his mind as he listened to his brother sleep, get up, and leave the room. A little bit later, the blue-eyed spider came into the room carrying a tray full of stuff. While he was not about to tell her that he realize she was there, he did notice as she carefully redid his bandages after cleaning the wounds. What startled him the most was the fact that she had she a delicate touch as she did so. It was almost as if she was trying to make sure that he was not hurt any further than he already was.

When she was done with his wounds she had asked if he was hungry and he surprised himself when he had answered her out loud. Even more surprising was the fact that the revulsion he normally felt towards any of them seemed to be less for her. It was odd, so as he ate the food she carefully fed him, his mind tried to analyze what that meant. Once he is done eating he falls back into thinking and snarls at her when she asks if he wants to lay back down. Of course he does not want to lay back down, he hates being still. This is driving him insane, though he is sure that some would say he was already there.

She leaves the room for a moment and he thinks that he is finally going to have some time to himself, yet a few minutes later she is back. This time she brought a sewing kit with her and begins to fix his armor after he snarls at her for mentioning outside.

Most of the day passes in silence, which he appreciates as his mind continues to whirl with all of the events of the last few days. The fight with Vash, getting shot, discovering all of the scars on his brother, that his sisters can talk, and that they hold him and not the humans responsible. When the blue-eyed spider starts to hum softly he finds himself jerking around to stare at her, during which time he is chastised like a child. How very annoying.

Around the time his stomach starts to hurt from hunger, which he is not planning on saying a word about to the spider, she asks why he doesn't use his voice. The question startles him, of all the things it wants to ask, she asks that? Before he decides if he wants to answer or not he hears the other spider come back, the temperamental one. Earlier he had noticed her leaving but had not been paying much attention to it. Now, as she returns he can smell the food that came with her. He expects that she got the food for the two of them but not him, so he is greatly surprised when the blue-eyed spider comes back into the room after stepping out of the door with two bags of food.

While she was out of the room he had tried to lift his left hand because he could feel as the muscle reknitted themselves. When the spider noticed the shift in his positioning, she chastises him again about damaging himself before helping him to eat his dinner. How surprising that the temperamental one brought him food, that was not expected. Nor was the care the blue-eyed one showed while re-bandaging his arm.

What odd spiders.

After dinner he glances over at the blue-eyed one and sighs. "It's easier for me." he replies, finally answering the question that she had asked earlier about his tendency to use telepathy rather than speaking.

Her brow crinkles as she considers that before she replies, "Oh," pauses for a moment, "that makes sense then."

Both of them fall silent after that, only it is not a stressful silence, but a thoughtful one as both lose themselves to their minds.