Chapter Sixteen - This is Letting Go

The wind died

The whole world ceased to move.

Now so quiet

Her beating heart became a boom.

We locked eyes

For just a moment or two

She asked why

I said "I don't know why"

I just know, I just know.

- This is Letting Go by Rise Against

Out of nowhere, a strong hand slid over her mouth, muting her terrified shriek as an arm yanked her in. She knew from the first touch that it wasn't her husband's hand over her mouth, but the shriek still worked its way up her throat and a soft squeak passed her lips. What the hell was he doing here?

"Dee," Jack stated her name clearly, voice low and right by her ear. "Dee, calm down. It's me."

She spun around abruptly, smoothing her hands over the silky cocktail dress she'd put on earlier that evening. Another dinner party with another CEO or senator or ex-military officer and wife, the same thing day in and day out for almost 19 years…even the hitting was predictable after a few weeks.

And then there was Jack. Jack Bauer was anything but stale and predictable. Jack Bauer would appear without warning and then evaporate into thin air. His voice didn't echo through some grand hall in some fancy restaurant as he told an elaborate joke. People didn't chortle and applaud politely at his pathetic attempt at some semblance of wit. Jack Bauer didn't pretend to be strong in areas he wasn't and he didn't put out this facade of…

She cringed a little under the force of his arm. "Jesus, Jack. You're hurting me."

"Sorry." He released her and she spun. He was sweating, his face was sunken and his eyes gaunt.

Her head hung with nothing but disappointment.

"You're high."

"I am not." His hand gripped her tighter and she shoved a little.

"Let go of me."

"No."

She shoved again, eyes blazing.

"Let. Go."

He yanked her into him, lips bruising hers in an aggressive kiss.

And then she slugged him.

"Don't think for one second you get to touch me like that and talk to me like that and get away with it. You're high. Get the hell away from me."

"I am not high, Diana, I started a program. This is what sobering up looks like, now listen to me…" He yanked her in again.

"Where are the girls?"

"A-asleep," her face was pale now and she looked bewildered. "Upstairs, wh - "

His rough hands cupped her porcelain cheeks, fingers threading through her hair. His gaze became sad. There was no angst, there was no pain, there was no anger; he just looked sad.

"I came for you," he murmured it almost as though it were a question. "I'm sorry I took so long."

"That's an understatement," she hissed. He tugged her closer, caressing her soft skin.

"Do you trust me?"

"Sometimes."

"Dee."

"I trust you." Her eyes were sincere and her lips barely moved. Jack nodded.

"I have a plan."

"A...for what?"

"Getting you out."

"I thought we'd...you said the only way out…"

"Was to kill Ben, I know what I said, Dee." Jack shook his head. "He's thought of it. He's thought of what would happen if...if anything happens to him prematurely you'll be framed...you'll go to jail. He's thought of everything…"

Tears welled up in her eyes, spilling over before she could contain them. "No."

"Yes, Dee. He thought of everything...there's no way to get you out…" Jack bit his lip. "Not all of you anyway."

Her eyes went wide with horror.

"Not without them," she growled. "Never without them. I am their mother. I'd rather he kill me than abandon the - "

"If he kills you they'll be without you anyway...and so will I…"

"You've done okay for 18 years - ow!"

He yanked hard on her arm. "I have never been okay being without you. Teri got pregnant - "

"And Teri died, Jack…" she sighed, feeling apologetic for throwing that in his face. She took a breath, adding, "I can't run from my children…"

"It would only be temporary."

"No...no, I can't. I won't. I…"

His thumbs brushed the tears from her face. He pressed his forehead to hers.

"I haven't given up on you yet."

"I don't know why," she croaked through tears.

He shook his head. "I can save you."

"Can you?" It sounded derisive even to his ears. "Jack..."

"Dee…" He cupped her cheeks firmly. "I need you to trust me."

Her watery blue-green eyes met his. Her lips parted, but nothing came out.

Diana Buchanan didn't know what to say.

Claire Evans's whole body trembled as she moved through the corridors of CTU, quiet as a mouse. Her gun was held low, both hands placed on it tightly (but not too tightly), like Rick had told her the first time he took her to the range. She'd wanted protection, she'd needed protection. After her sister had disappeared...sure there was the standard weapons training every new analyst received but she didn't trust that. She needed more. She needed Rick to show her not only how to pull the trigger but how to...how it would feel. How she would feel taking a life. It was paying off now. Now she was taking her sister back without a regard for the body count. It wasn't about anyone else – as horrible as callous as that sounded considering the room full of her terrified co-workers – this was about Aly.

Sounds in front of her distracted her thoughts and Claire hesitated for a second before peering around another men and her sister sandwiched between them right at the entrance to the parking garage.

Alex looked beaten...worse than she had a few minutes before. They'd roughed her into submission...not that Alex had ever really been submissive, no matter how beaten, bruised and bloody she was. She was like dad that way.

One of the men disappeared outside and Claire sensed it might be her only chance. She fired a warning shot past one of the men's head and came into view, gun poised. Alex's eyes went only a little wide before her expression shifted back to neutral.

"Let her go," Claire said calmly, gun aimed right at the one guy. They both laughed heartily.

"Walk away, little one. There's nothing to see here."

"Claire…" Alex hissed, getting her to look right at her. Frustration flooded her face and Claire knew she was supposed to be understanding something. She was supposed to be understanding her.

"Come on, honey, you don't want to watch this," the second man piped up, lifting his gun. "Just walk away and we won't hurt you."

Alex's eyes begged for hers and Claire looked right at her sister. Alex nodded.

"Claire, do what they say," she murmured robotically. Claire nodded carefully.

"I'm - I'm sorry, Aly."

"It's okay, Claire," she barely whispered. One man kicked her and Alex grunted as Claire started to back away…

Suddenly, Alex's foot connected with one man's kneecap and Claire's gun snapped into position again, firing three shots directly at the other captor who was an instant away from firing on Alex. Alex grunted as he dropped, struggling with the second man for position. Claire fired again and he dropped to his knees. Alex reached for the first man's gun and came to stand over the second.

"Where did they put the others?"

He glared up at her, nose dripping with blood.

Alex smashed the butt of the gun across the back of his head.

"Where did they put the others…" she emphasized each word carefully.

"You'll have to kill me."

Alex kept her face neutral and looked him over. She believed him. Sparing a glance at Claire, she lifted the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

"What the hell happened?" Alex asked, tone all business as she flew down the hallway with Claire right behind her. She wiped her bloody lip on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Th-they needed Michelle to open something up for them and...and she said she would do it but she needed help...so they sent me...and we….we escaped. Rick and Tony are...Bill's still in the bullpen. I don't know where Jack is."

"Okay…" Alex checked her weapon. "Okay we...how many of them are in the bullpen now?"

"Um...7? Maybe more? I don't know. I'm so - "

"It's okay, it's okay. You did great, Claire." Alex pecked her temple. "You did great. Where's Michelle?"

"Here." Alex whirled around, gun poised. She lowered it immediately.

"Hey. Are you okay? Is everyone still…"

"As…" Michelle cleared her throat, face smeared with dirt and cheeks bright red.

"As far as I know."

"Okay…" Alex leaned back against a wall, willing her breathing to level. "Okay we've got...four guns...three spare clips...and...okay…" She shut her eyes. Her first instinct was to go find Rick or Jack or Tony and get someone more able bodied, but she couldn't take the risk with the kind of guard they'd be under. Not with Claire and Michelle relying on her.

"Okay, we…we take out the bullpen. Guerilla style. They're sitting ducks. Get your shots off quick and change positions. Once we get a few down I gotta think...some of our guys will go for a weapon. We'll have...manpower then."

"What about…" Michelle went a little pale. "They could start executing as soon as they know we've taken over the bullpen."

Alex pursed her lips thoughtfully.

"They won't. Cheng's thoughtful. If the bullpen is...he'll want to contain that first. They'll be fine. We'll get them before he starts to move on them. I promise."

Michelle hesitated before nodding slowly.

"Alright, alright. Of course."

Alex took a breath, squeezing Michelle's hand and urging the two of them towards the bullpen.

Claire was trembling. She was cradled beside Michelle, hidden just off the bullpen in some little corridor on the way to IT. They were to stay out of sight until they heard the firefight start.

"S-so it's…shoot to kill," she confirmed shakily, checking Michelle's face. "I mean…if you were giving me an order, the order would be..."

Michelle rubbed her back tenderly.

"Shoot to kill, Claire."

"Okay. Okay good. I just didn't know if we needed...for interrogati - "

"Are you okay?"

"Yes! Yes. I'm fine. I'm fine."

"Claire," Michelle's voice was soft. "Just...stay down until someone tells you you have a shot. I'll do the rest."

"There's...there's more of them since we…"

Michelle said nothing for a second. "It doesn't matter. We have the advantage. They're sitting ducks.

"Okay…okay. I'm ready. I can do this Michelle, I promise. I'm ready."

Michelle licked her lips and let her eyes shut quickly.

"Good. Me too."

Alex leaned back against a wall, gun cradled in her hands as she peered around the corner. First glance said there were about 5 of them, but more would be in there the second the firefight started. There was no more time to waste. Fast shooting, clean kills, stay in control. She glanced in the direction she knew Michelle and Claire lay hidden and nodded. Showtime.

She had three shots off before anyone turned around. Two bodies dropped dead and another doubled over clutching his shoulder. 2 for 3 Evans, not your best. A fourth bullet finished him off but it didn't come from her. She spun around to see Michelle and Claire on the other side of the bullpen. Claire's gun was smoking and her bullet hit straight in the middle of his chest.

"CLAIRE! DOWN!" Alex called as she took out the fourth man. The fifth got a shot off, but Michelle was faster, ducking out of the way as she fired her weapon. Thundering footsteps echoed around the room.

"BILL!" Alex ran forward, tossing a weapon at him as Michelle and Claire pulled guns from the rest of the bodies.

"EVERYBODY TAKE COVER! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA SHOOT THEN YOU DON'T GET A GUN!" She barked over the shouting and the crying and the whatever else was going on. Eva trembled in a corner and Alex rolled her eyes, looking for whoever she knew or thought it was worth giving a weapon to. She tossed one at Wiley who handed out the last few to some of the guys.

"Get down!" she exclaimed, tugging Claire close and sandwiching her between herself and Bill. Claire was shaking a little but her face showed nothing but calm. Alex kissed her hair.

"Stay right here. You're doing great."

Claire gulped, but nodded.

"Nobody takes a shot until I do! Are we clear!" Alex called as she shifted her weight and crouched beneath a flipped over desk. She peered quickly over the top and nodded at Michelle a few yards away.

After that, it was over in no time.

Well, phase 1 was anyway. Four new men ran into the bullpen, semis at the ready, but they weren't given any time to search for anyone. Alex was up as soon as she knew no one else was coming, two clean shots right to the back of their heads.

Michelle jumped up seconds after the first shot was fired and a third shooter from the back of the room took out the fourth man. Alex stood up warily and ran through the bullpen to check for any stragglers. They were clear for now.

"Everyone get up, we've got maybe 2 minutes before they get back here," she declared, picking up a rifle and riddling a few of the bodies with bullets just for effect. She grabbed two of their Comm units and handed one to Michelle before putting the other on herself.

"You and Bill are gonna take everyone out of here."

Michelle's eyes widened a little, a splatter of blood on her cheek.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna go get the guys. You have to lead the rest of them out with Bill and Wiley - "

"Then I'm going with you," she declared, voice full of resolve. Alex turned back to her.

"No you're not."

"Alex…"

"Michelle…" Alex lifted her eyebrows and cocked her head. "You know why you're not - "

"No I am. I'm coming with you. Bill and Wiley don't need my help and you're barely standing upri - "

"I'm fine. I've been worse."

"Alex…"

"There is no way you are coming with me when you're…"

Michelle shut her eyes and pursed her lips, leaning in a little.

"Alex please. I need to do something for…"

Alex ran her fingers through her messy hair and nodded slowly. After a second, she handed Bill the machine gun.

"Don't argue. There's no time. Get Claire and the rest of them out. We're going after the boys."

"Aly - "

"Can the person who has run more special ops than me please raise their hand, because last time I checked those people were being held hostage," she spewed incredulously. "I'm the most senior operative, I'm giving the orders and I say get them the hell out of here. Now."

Bill stared at her; he'd heard a hint of desperation licking her words. He nodded carefully and squeezed her arm.

"Be careful."

She handed him a Comm unit before kissing Claire's head quickly.

"Get out. Now."

Left alone, Alex turned to Michelle, handing her an extra clip.

"Let's move."

"We don't have much time," Alex exhaled when they were finally alone. "You cut through IT and take Holding...I'll go upstairs."

"You think…"

"Jack's upstairs, I know that. There's only one way up and they're not taking any chances with him…"

Alex paused for a beat, running her fingers through her sweaty hair.

"You find who you can and get out, understood? If it's Rick, if it's Tony, you get them out and radio to me and I'll take it from there…"

"But…"

"You have to trust me, Michelle. I won't leave Tony in here, I swear."

Michelle swallowed hard, but nodded.

Now alone in the corridors of CTU, Michelle noticed her companion's composure start to deflate a little with each step they took. Her fingers twitched and her legs buckled and her shoulder leaned against the concrete to her right. Alex's breath started to rattle in her chest. Michelle squeezed her arm.

"Are you okay, honey?"

"I am!" she sniffed. "I will… I am… I just…really hope I have a little bit lef - "

"You do, Alex." Michelle insisted earnestly. She touched her cheek.

"As long as I've known you, you've always had a little bit left," her thumb swiped away the tear on her cheek.

"Just take a breath," she murmured. "This is your op and I'm following your lead and your orders...so just tell me what to do, okay?"

Alex nodded shakily and took another breath.

"Holding… and then...run like hell and don't look back."

Michelle gulped and nodded seriously before cocking her pistol.

"Yes ma'am."

Michelle's legs trembled slightly as she slithered down the corridor, back pressed to the wall and gun at the ready. She hadn't done this in years...she hadn't done this since the Cordilla Outbreak...since that day in the hotel when it was just her and Alvers and it felt like there was a hell of a lot left to lose.

But she'd asked to be here. She'd asked to be in this position because if she wasn't then she wasn't doing anything, and Michelle Dessler couldn't just watch idly by...not when she had a chance to help.

She heard footsteps coming from down the hallway, heavy footsteps in what sounded like combat boots. Her breath caught in her throat and she slipped back into the shadows, waiting for the group of men to pass.

"Secure Bauer!" One yelled. "And find Evans! The chopper's en route."

Michelle's eyes squeezed shut until they had gone in the other direction. After a second she continued, every muscle in her body wrought with tension. Some commotion towards the back of the hallway made her stop again. That had to be it. There were two guards in front of the room and one of them was tapping on some glass. That had to be where…

Tony or Rick, it was Tony or Rick. Jack was upstairs and one of them was here and she couldn't...she'd promised Alex she'd help and then leave.

It would just be a lot easier to do that if it was Tony on the other side of the door.

Alex Evans was trained for this. No matter how tired and broken her body was, she was trained for this. Her lithe form slid against the walls, staying hidden in the shadows with her gun locked and loaded. Her eyes narrowed like a cat's as she turned corners and climbed stairs and her muscles tightened with every step she took, ready to pounce on whatever got in her way. She wasn't thinking about how these fuckers had cost her a year of her life...or how Jack had abandoned her family when they'd needed him. She wasn't thinking about Michelle and all the reasons she shouldn't still be in this building...or what would happen to her if she was too late for someone to be saved. Her objective was clear and for those few minutes she was back in that icy Siberian compound leading her team to their final destination.

For those moments, for the first time in six months, Alex Evans was in control of herself.

Michelle's foot collided with the door to the last of the rooms. This was it. This had to be…

Immediately she was under fire, but she reacted faster and fired a few rounds against her attackers. It was all over in a few seconds and someone called her name…

"Rick!" She exclaimed, running across the room and dropping to her knees. He groaned a little and hefted himself into a seated position, giving his head a shake.

"What happened?"

"Claire and I broke free. The bullpen's cleared. We have to get out of here."

His head snapped up. "What about Al?"

"We got her, we got her. She went to find Tony."

"Jack's with him," he gasped, gripping the wall to steady himself as he stood. "As soon as Al was off site they were gonna execute Jack. I heard them. We gotta get out of here."

"What about Tony?"

"Alex'll get Tony. I have to get you out of here."

"Rick…"

"Don't argue, Michelle. We're going." He reached for a gun and checked it was loaded.

"Come on."

"Rick…"

"Grab the radio. We're going."

Trust Cheng to hide his most valuable prisoner in a room with glass walls. Alex mused as she crept up the back staircase. The chance of her surprising any attacker was pretty much gone and she had no idea what she was up against. She had no idea how she was supposed to do this. The glass was bulletproof and airtight and there was just…

No, there was a way to do this. There had to be.

It only took Alex about fifteen seconds to realize bulletproof glass went both ways and she was willing to gamble she could outshoot whoever was in that room. This wasn't the time to overanalyze, it was the time to act.

She moved like lightening as soon as she made the decision to, blowing the lock off the door and pulling out a second pistol as it flung open. She wasted no bullets, hitting both targets within a second of each other and watching them drop.

"Tony…" She ran over, dropping to her knees and undoing his bonds. She checked his wound carefully and patted his cheek.

"You look like shit."

"So do you," he groaned. "Help Jack."

She spun, crossing the floor and helping a bloodied and beaten Jack Bauer to his feet and handing him a weapon.

"You gonna make it?"

"Just move, Alex."

She rolled her eyes a little, turning back to Tony.

"Ready?"

"Where's Michelle?"

"Out. Getting out."

"Al…"

She brushed sweaty hair from her face. "If Michelle is doing what she was told to do she's out or almost out of CTU. I made her promise."

Tony didn't look convinced, but he didn't get time to process.

"Hurry!" Jack growled, stuffing something into his pocket. "They're regrouping. It's time to go."

They'd barely made it down the stairs when the firing started. Tony threw Alex behind him, shoving them both back into the wall as they started to return. Jack had been ahead of them, but somehow was out of sight.

"JACK!" She shrieked, pulling the trigger and taking out one of Cheng's men.

"JACK WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"I'M HERE!" He hollered, hoarsely. "I'm here. Have you seen Cheng?"

"No." she shook her head, glancing at Tony. Her foot kicked on man's body so she could see his face and her lip curled just a little.

"Come on, Al. I'm gettin ya outta here," Tony tugged on her arm. She shook her head anxiously.

"We have to find Cheng."

"No we don't. We have to get - HEAD'SUP!" Tony shoved her to the ground as he and Jack ducked for cover beside her. Bullets started flying again and Alex squirmed to get her bearings. Bodies flew passed them at lightning speed at in the midst of everyone she saw it…

"Jack - Cheng!"

Jack jumped just as a grenade exploded around them, and the wall Tony and Alex were leaning against crumbled to the ground.

Rubble clattered around them and Alex coughed up the dust and debris surrounding her. Tony's hand latched onto her arm and she swayed a little towards Jack, desperately looking for an exit, her hand wrapped tightly around her 9mil.

"Jack, Cheng's...he's gone. He's gone - "

"It's not over yet."

"You can't catch him now! You can barely walk.

"I just have to make sure he doesn't escape."

"How are you going to do that?"

"I set charges to the building when they started shooting," he growled. Alex's eyes bulged out of her head.

"YOU SET CHARGES TO THE BUILDING? Are you insane? You're gonna get yourself killed!"

"I didn't have a choice."

"You didn't want to have a choice!" she blasted back, emotions getting the better of her again.

"Aly…"

"Don't!" Fierce tears flooded her eyes and felt her throat thickening with emotion. "Don't talk to me like she did! Or-or act like you….."

"Aly, you …You have to know, I would...would've done anything to protect her - "

"Bullshit. Like you did Audrey? And Teri and...and whoever else you fucked up along the..."

" - And she would've done...anything to protect you."

Tears spilled over her cheeks and she swiped them away quickly.

"Aly, this doesn't concern you anymore. You have to go."

"No!….No, no, this is you running away! This is you not wanting to deal with the hell you put me and Claire and…" she hiccupped. "And my m-mom through!"

Tony's hand touched her other arm softly. "Al…" ?

"NO!"

"Alex." Jack grabbed her arms. "This is what I have to do, but you have to go. You aren't supposed to be in here with me like this, sweetheart." His hand brushed her cheek tenderly. "You're supposed to be out there with the people who love you, not with the people who have nothing left to lose…"

Her nose was stuffy and her face scrunched at she bit back sobs.

"Y-you're not ei-either...you can't...be in here…" She sniffed. "You're all I have left of her…" Her legs trembled and she wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve. Tears blurred her vision and the room swayed a little.

"I'm not."

"You're all I have left of…"

"Aly - "

"Stop calling me that!"

"Al?" a new voice emitted from its place on her hip. "Al, where are you? They wanna call in the F-18s. Get out now."

Her eyes shut as fresh tears fell down her cheeks. She hiccupped a sob. His voice. Always level, always grounding, like the answer to what she was supposed to do or decide was so simple.

"Al…" Rick sounded choked up. "Al, don't do this to me now. C'mon, get outta there."

Jack thrust something into her hand a second before her eyes opened again. It was cold and flat and...it was his dog tags. She met his gaze and swiped at her eyes.

"Aly." He cupped the side of her face and pressed a kiss to her other cheek. "I know I don't deserve to have you trust me...but you have to go."

She nodded shakily and shifted her gun. She had to go.

She turned to Tony, spinning around at the last second to face Jack one more time...for today at least.

"Jack," she breathed carefully. "Don't be done yet...just...it's not...done yet, okay?"

Jack's pale blue eyes locked on her blazing ones. He nodded curtly and she nodded back.

And then they were gone.

"Rick, where are they?" Michelle's worried hiss resonated in his ear. "How much time do we have before the - "

"A minute thirty. They know; they're on their way out."

Panic flooded through Michelle, her limbs twitching. "I have to find him."

"You can't Michelle. Tony'll get ou - "

"I can't lose him again!" she exclaimed, pushing through the perimeter. Rick's arms locked around her tightly, holding her back before she could get any further.

"Rick, let me go!"

"You're not going in there."

"Your brother is in there! Alex is in there too. How can you not - "

"Alex and my brother are getting out! You're not going anywhere near that building so just settle down, Michelle."

"...she told you?"

"Told me what?"

Her eyes welled with moisture. "...Rick, please, I have to…"

"You're not."

"Rick…"

His arms remained snug around her petite frame and frustration flooded through Michelle. She wasn't going anywhere, no matter how badly she wanted to.

Rick's breathing remained level as he slowly counted down from thirty. Thirty seconds and he was going back in.

Even with his injuries, Alex struggled to keep up with Tony. Her legs felt like jelly and her lungs ached with every strangled breath.

"Al, move. Rick said the F-18s are - "

"I heard what he said!"

"Well then move!"

She scowled a little, running further through the corridor and further away from Jack.

"Tony, I can't…"

"You can and you're gonna." He latched onto her arm, dragging her a few steps. Rick's voice resonated over her walkie talkie again.

"A minute fifteen 'til they fire, Al. Where the hell are you?"

"Al, you gotta move."

"I'm trying!" her voice crackled. She was trying, but her legs were failing her.

Tony yanked her again, running faster and urging her along. A little more, just a little more…

Tony heard the planes overhead as they ran out the back entrance of CTU. He threw Alex's wasted body to the ground, covering her with himself as the heat of Jack's explosion enveloped them. Cool rain pelted his body and his wounds screamed in protest. When the heat relented, he rolled onto his back, groaning.

"You okay, Al?"

"Yeah..are you?"

He groaned again, his muscles seizing. Alex got to her knees beside Tony. She brushed his hair off his forehead, calling for a medic. At the far side of the lot, Tony saw a petite figure sprint through the perimeter and make a beeline for them. He smiled a little as his vision went fuzzy…

Michelle always knew where to find him.

Michelle had barely knelt beside her husband on the ground when Alex stood and walked tentatively towards where everyone waited. Her eyes locked on Rick for a second before she turned slowly to stare at a decimated CTU. Everything was gone. The place she'd met Michelle and Tony, the desk she'd sat on when she was begging Bill to hurry up and finish so they could go home, the place she'd walked into a few weeks after Michelle's funeral when everyone stared at her...the first place Rick kissed her, the place he told her he loved her...the place where she found out the truth about her mother and...her father... It was all gone. It was time to let go.

Clutching Jack's dog tags in her fist, she shut her eyes, biting back tears as the rain soaked her to the bone. One thought gave her some condolence as what felt like a lifetime of memories dissolved before her…

As Tony liked to remind her, Jack Bauer was never quite as gone as you thought he was.