One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.
My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention Mr. Coolshot himself Shun, and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!
Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!
A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!
Episode Seventeen
Thanks A Lot Marucho
"Oh my…oh dear…I must admit I have nevuh seen any Bakugan like YOU befouh…I must add you to my collection…the collection of Klaus London…mu hu hu hu huuuuu…"
Anyways…
"Boy, am I BEAT!" Runo collapsed onto the restaurant chair.
"Beat like a flying pig in the chainsaw!" Dan wiped sweat from his brow. "We searched everywhere and didn't find SQUAT!"
"I'm beginning to wonder if it's in the canyon at all…" Alice said quietly.
"GRRAAAAAAAHHH!!" Dan tore out some of his hair and threw it at the Happy Meals they brought into the MewMew Brawlers Little White Rabbit restaurant.
"Oh, settle down, Dan," Runo said tiredly. "We all overreact, but not like THAT."
Dan was beginning to nibble the sleeve of his worn-all-this-time-but-not-forever maid uniform.
"Calm down! Maybe we just have to look harder," Drago said. "Or, like Alice said, somewhere else entirely."
"I concur wholeheartedly," Halo Tiger said.
"BUT AHM GOIN' CAHRAAYZAAY!!"
"You're just impatient, you twit!" Skyress shouted.
"Hey, everyone," Marucho said, "the best thing to get you back into the spirit of joy and love…is a Happy Meal™! Thanks for suggesting it, Preyus!"
"Don't mention it! To do some advertisin', Happy Meal™s are the happiest things on earth! So happy they're sold in Disney™ theme parks, the happiest PLACES on earth! And ya know why they're happy? THEY SELL HAPPY MEAL™S!!"
No lengthy cooking scene was necessary. They pushed the Happy Meal™s closer to everyone. Now everyone had a slightly soggy bag of food and a "small" soft drink to call their own!
"WOW!!" Julie gasped. "Our very own Happy Meal™s!" She took a bite out of a boot-shaped Chicken McNugget. "Try some! Ooh, these foot-like nuggets are my faves! How'd you know?"
"You ALL got nuggets!" Preyus admitted.
"Shows what YOU know about individual tastes!" Dan scoffed. "And you must know a lot! Well, down the hatch! Nom!" He ate one nugget. It was so good/bad/what? that he could only make a dazed smile and moaning sound.
"OH NO DANS A ZOMBIE!!!"
"Get away from him, Julie!" Runo pushed her off of Dan's back. Then she tried a nugget. "It's not THAT special."
"The nugget's squishy, breaded texture," Shun said, looking like a rebel as usual, "works wonders when dunked in ketchup." Today he was dressed in a corduroy jacket with faux yellow fur around the collar, over a black shirt and skinny jeans.
"I don't care what Shun thinks! I'm still not happy with this!"
"They're actually pretty okay," Alice said neutrally.
"Yeah, see? When you're right, you're right!"
"You're just not eating them with ketchup."
"Am too!"
"Looks like these Happy Meal™s made everyone a LOT happier!" Marucho said, amazed. "Thanks for choosing the menu today, Preyus!"
"Don't mention it! The food here SUCKS!"
Soon, Dan had eaten all the nuggets and thrown out the fries that came with them. He also drank everything. "Thanks a HEAP! A heap o' THANKS! Thanks for this craze-calmin' meal, Marucho and Preyus!"
"Yes thank you!" Julie said. "The little boot shapes are just how they made them back home!"
Shun smiled in agreement.
"Hey Shun, maybe you should sit on the couch sometime!" Julie suggested.
"Nah, I'm too cool for that. And school. I don't go, you know."
"Search your heart, you know it to be true," Hammy the Hamster said, alluding to wanting to sit down.
Sitting down brings me fear… He shivered with the chill of bitter memory, or something.
"Hey, Marucho, the food was adequate!" Runo said.
"Heh heh, go on…"
"HEY!! Everyone knows it was Uncle PREYUS'S idea to GET Happy Meal™ses in the FIRST place, don't they? DON'T THEY!?!?"
Fabio's Wife, dressed in a too-small maid outfit came to their table. "Are you kids orderin' or what? Either you order, or the three kids who work here get to work washin' dishes!"
"Right away!" Alice, Runo and Dan ran off.
"A-and Alice, Runo, don't forget ta' change into yer own maid uniforms!" The fat lady hurried off after them.
Marucho took this time to tell Preyus stuff. "Preyus, thank you for…ordering this delicious meal from McDonald's!"
"Is THAT all you're gonna thank me for? IS THAT ALL!?!? After ALL da times I've sent my behind into battle, you thank me when I order you Happy Meal™ses."
"It's not that! That's not what I meant!"
The marble closed, causing everyone to hear a mysterious manly voice say, "SHUNN'D."
The three maids misunderstood the conversation. "They're a perfect match!" Runo said.
"Perfect like tea and tomatoes!" Dan agreed.
"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"
"What? I have that every night before I go to sleep! They're great together!"
Later, in the lobby of the flying car…
"Hey, gang!" Dan shouted, stopping all in their tracks. "Why don't we ask on the Internet for info on the Infinity Core?"
"GASP NO THAT'S RISKY!"
"I'm all for it," Shun said.
"SHUN NO IT'S RISKY!"
"Come on! They already KNOW what we're doing! We could even get dummy accounts and use random library computers! They would probably follow us around anyway!"
"YES HE'S RIGHT," the Bakugan quintet agreed.
"YOUR logic just can't hold up to that of SHUN and I," Skyress said haughtily.
"And the other Bakugan," Gorem said.
"And Dan! Don't forget about Dan!"
Skyress sighed. "AND you guys, AND Dan."
" 'Cuz nobody's gonna beat Dan Da Man! Who's gonna be with Dan Da Man, huh?"
"Uhh…"
"You are, that's who! Let's stick our necks out like a giraffe and see what happens! Marucho, man the computer! Everyone else, sit around and tell him what to type!"
"It could be a trap…" Alice said, uncomfortable with this.
"A trap to get us to play Bakugan?" Shun said. "You know, it's just a game. You can, like refuse."
"Are you saying," Dan said, "that we must NOT have game in the face of danger?"
"I'm just saying what's smart. Either you don't brawl or you torture living creatures in the process of brawling."
"I could care less abut those guys, long as I have game! Now, who's with me!?" Everyone else applauded. "Alright, then!"
"I am in the process of setting up a dummy account," Marucho said, typing like crazy.
"No, you can just use my DanDaMan account! The password is DanDaMan!"
Julie smiled mischievously.
"Posting topic—"
"No, make it a video recording of me!"
"If you say so. Three, two, one, action!"
"Yo yo YO! This is Dan Da Man, and I'm lookin' for info on the Infinity Core! Know where it is? Tell me! Either send me a private message, or paste it onto my signature after logging into my account! The password is exactly the same as the username! Evil people aren't allowed to help! I'll automatically trust ANYONE who responds! Seeya there!" He wiped his nose. "And smell ya later!"
Wherever Klaus was…
"…aren't allowed to help! I'll automatically trust ANYONE who responds! Seeya there!" He wiped his nose. "And smell ya later!"
"Ugh! I feel so, so…INSULTED! Smell ya latuh? What form of unholy madness IS this child!? UGH! I must provide him with false leads regahding the Infinity Core! Even if it is a trap, uh…agh…UGH!!"
Back at the flying car…
"Hey, Dan! I have been practically nocturnal waiting for this, but…here it is! You finally got a reply via the forum! Better be lucky nobody hacked into your account!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?" Dan spat out his cereal, which contained milk and the remains of French fries they forgot to throw out. "Where from?"
The dot on the screen drifted away from Germany and eventually placed itself on England. "Somewhere in England! The message, said by 'EvilKlausLondon45', states that if you want more info, meet him face-to-face in…England, somewhere!"
"This is definitely a trap," Shun sighed.
"It might not be!" Dan roared.
"I'm with Shun," Alice said.
"No you're not!" Runo barked.
"I'm not sure anymore!" Alice shook her head and cried.
"See? Your trappy ideas made Alice cry! If you wanna save Alice's happiness, don't come up with these weird ideas about traps. Look, I said no evil guys were allowed to reply, right?"
"And by that logic," Marucho said, "they wouldn't dare!"
"You idiots! You know how evil guys are!" Shun yelled. "We'll see when we meet this obviously evil guy in person. Don't say I didn't warn you about how stupid this plan is!"
"Dan's my first name, and if it were the first part of my middle name, and if Ger was already my middle name, then Danger would be my middle name!"
"THAT'S CONVOLUTED!!" Marucho screamed.
"Relax! It's party time – Oktoberfest style! Heh, you get it? KLAUS!"
"That's very offensive, Dan," Julie said. "He claims he's English. Don't say that about him!!!" And Julie found a fourth/fifth/who cares love.
"One question," Runo said. "How's the weather like there?"
"I dunno, rainy, I guess. Dress in bowler hats and bring your finest umbrellas!" Dan hid his maid outfit in a blanket, then ripped the blanket away to reveal the outfit of a British dandy! "We'll fit right in!"
"Do they have toilet paper in England?" Julie wondered.
"Are you insane?" Shun snapped.
Bakugan Battle Brawluhs will be right back. Mu hu hu hu huuuuu…
Splash Woman here! Welcome back to Bakugan Battle Brawlers!
They looked down on a shiny, purple-and-pink fairy tale castle. "We're going THERE!?" Dan said, amazed. "Somebody pinch me!"
"Gladly!"
"Ow! I wasn't talking to YOU, Julie! Great, now I'm amazed AND my cheek hurts!"
"And I thought Momo-Rutabaga was impressive!" Runo exclaimed.
"Hey! The tower's impressive as well!" Marucho complained. "And even moreso!"
They landed on a sunny plain, and everyone but the butler stood at the huge, ornately-designed door.
"Wohohohoah!" Dan pointed at the door with his cane. "Look at this mad awesome door! Maruchp's got nuthin' on DAT! …But it doesn't have a doorbell! Bummer!" The door opened automatically! "What? It opens automatically?"
"Yeah," Shun snorted, sounding like a different guy entirely, "like the mall."
Everybody headed inside, going down a hall flanked on either side by suits of armor. "Wow, I'm impressed!" Preyus said. "Way better than the CRAP that is Marucho's stamp collection!"
"Hey! You're just angry because I congratulated you!"
"Welcome, Brawluhs, and thank you for coming heuh," a voice said from down the hall. "Make youhselves at home."
"Are you..Klaus?" Julie asked. "OMG hi!"
"That is correct. I am the revered Klaus London. Please forgive my rathuh eerie membuh title and message."
"You…you're the best Bakugan brawler in the universe!" Marucho could hardly believe it!
"Yes. And I know you, Marucho Rutabaga, user of Wet Ones, with the main Bakugan Preyus, who is on your shoulder."
"How does he know this?" Julie shivered. "He's…cool!"
"It's probably something related to Joe leaking information," Shun stated. "Why do you want it from him?"
"Actually…I just wanted to brawl you."
"YOU DRAGGED US HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD JUST SO WE COULD BRAWL YOU!?!?" Dan had started to pick up on Drago's screaming lately.
"You're not gentle!" Alice sobbed, running away with tears running down her face.
"That's wheuh you'd be wrong. I AM gentle. Would you disagree?"
"Yes," Shun said.
"Don't defy me! Now wouldn't you say I'm gentle?"
"No."
Klaus slapped him. "NOW would you say I'm gentle?"
"…Yes."
"Don't worry! I'll take this guy out o' the picture!" Dan ripped out Drago.
"No! You already had the LAST episode to yourself! This HAS to be Wet Ones versus Wet Ones!" Marucho demanded. "Besides, I know as much about him as he does myself. His favorite Bakugan is Splash Woman, and it should be intriguing to see just how they go about fighting."
"Are you sure?" Runo asked.
"Hey, leave Marucho to his own devices!" Dan said. "It should go swimmingly! Besides, Marucho and Preyus are a combo pack o' PAIN!!"
"Uhh, yeah!"
"You've spoken too soon! Behold, my Mask the Dynasty specialty brand shootuh!" He revealed his rounded Bakugan shooting thingy. It was tackily labeled "Mask the Dynasty". "I work foh Mask the Money!"
"WHO WOULD HAVE EXPECTED MY LOVE TO BE EVIL!?!?" Julie went crazy with hidden grief!
"Relax! This is just more training for me!" Marucho said calmly.
"You're just as dumb as Dan!" Shun was disappointed in him.
"You still want to battle me…AND LOSE?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world! Gate card, open!"
Time stood still, to make way for their two-man brawl. They set two gate cards to start.
"Bakugan Brawl! Make this one count, Soggy Trilobite!" A huge, light-blue, otherwise plain trilobite hovered around the playing field.
"A rathuh cautious staht," Klaus remarked. "Testing the watuhs befoh we get too deep, are you? Bakugan Brawl! Wet One HeadMantis, stand!"
"RRrrRRrrAAAAAwwwr." Wet One headMantis wiggled his pincers around, shaking his loose tongue in the process. HE was sitting comfortably behind Soggy Trilobyte.
"WET ONE HEADMANTIS 30 G ADVANTAGE."
"PUHLEEEASE send me out there! There's no chance o' me losin'! I'll end the match early! I won't get eaten fer lunch! Please please pleaaeaeeeeese!" Preyus begged, floating by Marucho's shoulder.
"Okay! I will NOT make a dumb move this time! He loaded Preyus into his launcher arm accessory. "Bakugan Brawl! Preyus, stand!"
The marble commanded a pillar of water to rise up toward the heavens! "YEAH DAWG!!" Preyus said, rising to the skies before crashing down onto the field. "So ya wanted to see me?"
"Aah! On second thought, maybe I should rethink that!"
"Attribute CHAAAAANGE…" He spun around a couple of times, turning orange! "Terry Attribute! Pardon me for the ORANGEtrusion, folks!"
What was I thinking when I chose to have THIS Bakugan!? Klaus pondered the question.
"Watch this!" Marucho said, square mouth growing way too big to fit his face. "Ability card, activate! Wet One meets Terry!" A holographic image displayed Momma Terry with some Wet Ones.
"Get ready to cruise with a bruise!" Preyus shouted, glowing with orange energy.
"POWER LEVEL INCREASE TO 400 G'S."
"LET'S GET ON THE BOAT, WE DON'T WANNA BE LATE!!"
"Oh, but I wouldn't want to be doing THAT, now, would I? Then I might have to tell you about the Infinity Core," Klaus said.
"When did you say THAT was part of the deal?" Marucho said.
"There was a deal? Ah, but anyways, gate cahd, open! Scapegoat!"
"WHAT'S SCAPEGOAT!?" Marucho started sweating, hands clammy. There was a card he didn't know about!
"Battle ends right here."
"Oh for crying out loud." Preyus crossed his arms.
"Come back, HeadMantis! And you, Preyus, can go back to youh petty little ownuh!" All marbles flew away to respective owners.
"This guy's just, uh, uh, a chicken! A big, cheap, $1's worth of chicken!" Preyus complained.
"You think I'm trying to run away? That's FAH from the case. I just can't be bothuhd to battle with some kid's two-bit comedian."
"You're not even from England!"
"YES I AM! You can go shut up!"
"We're not going anywhere until this battle is done!" Marucho growled.
"Gate cahd, set! Again! Splash Woman, stand!"
Wielding her glowing trident of damaging proportions (along with a harp), Splash Woman waved at Preyus. "Are you the one he's been so anxious to meet?" she said, stroking her mildly hair-like helmet."
"WOWZERS, she's GORGEOUS!" Preyus cried.
"I'm glad you approve of huh good looks," Klaus said, "but she's not just your ohdinary Robot Mastuh! Ability card, activate! Swim Around!"
"As you wish, Klaus." She jumped up and landed in the gate card with an eponymous splash.
"Oh no! She's swimming! Who woulda thunk it!?" Marucho was surprised. As she approached Soggy Trilobite, he hastily said, "Gate card, open! Wait, nothing's happening!"
"Silly confused little boy and idiot Bakugan," Klaus said. "She makes the cahd her own!"
Splash Woman created a grey whirlpool! It sucked in Soggy Trilobyte, sending it into a deep hole…which then led to right above them and made it fall into Klaus's wide-open mouthspace.
"Om nom," he said cordially.
"How do we beat her!?" Marcho cried wildly.
"WOWZERS, she's DEADLY!"
"I believe the saying goes…she's beautiful but she's also a Robot Mastuh!"
"That's not a saying!" Marucho growled. "I will not let you get away with that! Gate card, set! Bakugan Brawl! Wet One Gamera, stand!" Beside Splash Woman's old card stood a big, blue turtle.
"Bakugan Brawl! Terrycloth, stand!" Klaus summoned a big, blue crab we've seen before.
"Leave this to me, again!" Preyus said. "This…is for that horrible saying he made up!"
"I am with you! Bakugan Brawl! Preyus, stand!"
Preyus landed on the field in full Marcus purple attire. "YEAH!! MARCUS ATTRIBUTE CHANGE IN EFFECT!!"
"You nevuh cease to amaze me. Just kidding. I expected as much."
"…Suit yourself! Ability activate! Wet One meets Marcus!" A hologram showed fat kid Marcus wiping his messy face with a Wet One.
"PREYUS POWER LEVEL INCREASE BY 100 G'S."
"ROAR!! I am SO HUNGRY I could eat a HORSE, but a BIG CRAB'll DO!!"
The screen split to show both Klaus's eyes AND his mouth! This means trouble, gang! "Gate cahd, open. Boihazuhd, activate!"
Preyus turned blue again! "I'm not hungry anymore! What's up with THAT!?!?"
"Ha! Now youh ability is null and void thanks to radiation ouh something!"
"BOTH POWER LEVELS ARE 300 G'S."
"I'll attack anyway, rar!" Preyus bumped into Terrycloth's shield-claw. "I hate a fair fight! GAAAAAHH!!" The two marbles flew away.
"He knows all our strategies and uses them agaynst us!" Marucho said, and yes he did say agaynst. "That Klaus…is a strong opponent."
"Bakugan Brawl! Wet One HeadMantis, stand!" Now it was scorpion versus turtle. Who will win…!?!?
"Ability card AND gate card, activate! Stealth Tornado and…uh…I forget!" Wet One Gamera, not one to be stealthy, spun around in his shell as a cyclone of water surrounded him!
"POWER LEVEL INCREASE TO 530 G'S."
"Now it's my tuhn! Ability cahd, activate! Abyss Ruler!" Instead of making an abyss, this card ripped off Stealth Cyclone and surrounded the scorpion with water.
"POWER LEVEL IS NOW 550 G'S."
The scorpion blasted Wet One Gamera out of the water and into a big, hungry mouth. Marucho gasped in horror, watching as Klaus chewed his food.
"Put me in, quick! Before ya LOSE!"
"Uh, sure, Preyus! I will send you out on the gate card I just now set! Bakugan Brawl! Preyus, stand!"
"Alright! Let's kick some –"
"Preyus…" Some heartwarming? music began to play in the background (Go to YouTube with these parts (it won't come up, don't know why) and at the end put /watch?v=l12TvP5nMVg&feature=related – if the link doesn't work, it's Neon Genesis Evangelion Rei I). "There's a good chance that this time you might…you might…"
"Don't think of it that way! I'm a tough fighter! I'm the main character! I'm the comic relief! I've got Gilbert Gottfried's voice! I'm not gonna lose this time, buddy!"
"But what if you do?"
"I won't!"
"That's what Kamina said!"
"I don't even know who Kamina is! But I know who I is! I's Preyus, and I's gonna win! Listen, Marucho. I admire you. Not only are you a good Bakugan player, but you're caring. Slightly…"
"You mean I am strong AND caring?"
"Who said anything about strong?"
Marucho shed a single tear.
"Okay, okay! You're strong and caring and all that! As long as you care about those other guys who died because of this battle!"
"So what you are trying to imply…is that their sacrifices will be pointless if I don't send you out this time?"
"No, I'm tryin' to imply that THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED if you DIDN'T BRAWL. You just sent a bunch of Bakugan to their version of Hell!"
"You what?"
"Never mind, never mind! What's important now is that we eat this guy for breakfast, with the little garnish and all that!"
"While youh music has touched my heaht," Klaus said, hand to his chest, "it also makes me feel creeped out. I dauhsay the dinnuh houh approaches, and this is no dinnuh tune. Cue MY music!" He cued some music. (/watch?v=DAE_ynIjlYs – it's Mega Man Battle Network 4 Boss Music)
"Make this a meal to remember! Bakugan Brawl! Splash Woman, stand!"
Behind Preyus stood the mermaid Robot Master. "Miss me?" she said, waving.
"Now, just as soon as this dinnuh song ends, a beautiful serenade begins! Ability cahd, activate! Strum youh hahp!"
"Your wish is my command!" She began to play a video game tune! (/watch?v=RdQZCiFQvOI – it's Clay Fighter's title screen. Skip to 0:18.) Strangely, the harp also started to sing off-key.
"What a great harp player! She should not even be able to logically play something of that magnitude!" Marucho marveled.
"It's no use NOW, Marucho," Klaus stated. "This fight is headed straight foh the Doom Dimension. He is a prisonuh of Splash Woman's song."
"I'm getting pulled in!" Preyus stumbled only slightly. "I can't help but go towards it!"
"No, Preyus! RESIST!!"
"Your friend heuh CAN'T resist the MAD SKILLS of my BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED Splash Woman!"
"Come on in, Preyus," Splash Woman beckoned. "You're a Wet One. The water should be fine for you."
Preyus was being dragged in, almost magnetically! "Waaaaaugh!"
"Once he's set foot in the watuh, theuh's no tuhning back. His fate is now sealed, unless you have an appropriate-for-this-situation ability cahd, which you so obviously DON'T."
"Preyus!" Marucho ran closer to the grey spiraling waters, but it was no use. He was too far gone.
"MARUCHOOOOOOOOOO!!"
A marble flew into Klaus's hand. "Ha. Looks like I win this match." And the Clay Fighter tune kept playing their hearts and minds…
They emerged from the vortex, with Marucho sobbing and on the floor. "Preyus…he's really gone…" He hit the ground with his fists. "Just like Kamina!"
"I am the victor," Klaus said, twiddling Splash Woman around in his fingers.
"I'm tryin' to imply that THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED if you DIDN'T BRAWL . You just sent a bunch of Bakugan to their version of Hell!"
What did he mean by that? Oh, I could not care less! Preyus is GONE!!
"Klaus, I beg of you! Give Preyus back!"
"I'm sorry, but…it was a faiuh fight. Now Preyus is in the Doom Dimension."
Marucho realized this now.
"If you wish to place blame, blame youh own brawling stupidity. Good day." He walked down the hall…into a gate card!
"No!" Marucho chased after him!
"No!" Runo chased after HIM!
"No!" Dan chased after HER and fell flat on his face, since the gateway disappeared. "Where are they!?"
Presumably in the Doom Dimension…
Preyus was floating around in space. He couldn't move. He knew Marucho had stupidly stumbled into a fight and gotten out not even knowing the meaning of his words.
As he got sucked into another portal, he knew this was Marucho's fault.
… But he liked him anyway.
Hey! Runo here! We end up in some caRAAAZY old mansion! And you know the only reason I came here? To fight Carlos Santana, that's why! Wonder why somebody more CARING didn't even budge to go after Marucho? ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY I'M NOT CARING!?!? Oh, how'd Dan get here? Anyways, Bakugan Brawl! Inh! Seeya there!
We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.
Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!