Neither the man nor the lady, seem sure what to say to him. They stare down at his curled up form, blinking. He thinks the only thing keeping the lady from sobbing again is the calming draught still in her system. He isn't sure what is going on in Potter's head.
"That wasn't right of him," The man says, kneeling down in front of him. "If you feel the need to end it you can come to us. We can talk. No one here will ever use their wand against you, Dubhán." The lady is nodding behind him. "Do you understand, Dubhán? You're not going back to him, we won't let that happen. You're safe."
He stares at the man, trying to control his own emotions. He wants to throw himself at the man. He wants to cry into his shoulder like the lady had. He wants to say "thank you, I appreciate it, even though you can't promise that, I appreciate it". He wants to snuggle against the lady and feel her arms around him. He wants to pretend, for a moment, that he is safe. He wants to be weak. But he can't.
He can't do any of that, because he still can't protect his memories from Voldemort, and no matter their intentions, they can't promise he won't be found. Hadn't the Death Eaters gotten him once already? If they bring him back to Voldemort, he will see this and know Dubhán is a worthless traitor. He gulps and looks up at Potter pleadingly. He tries to put the thoughts in the forefront of his mind.
"I can't say." Potter blinks once, then twice, then his eyes go wide. Dubhán keeps his eyes on Potter's trying to pass the message. Finally Potter lifts his wand, giving him one final questioning look. Dubhán looks at him, pleadingly.
"Legilimens!" Potter whispers. Dubhán feels him at the edge of his thoughts, treading lightly. Dubhán thinks of everything he'd been thinking before. How he wants to be weak, how he wants to be close to them, how he knows he can't, how he knows he'd be a traitor if he did. Potter withdraws from his mind quickly.
"We'll stop by Severus's office today," he says flatly. "But you've already got a wall there. Perhaps Severus can tell you how to fine tune the wall." He goes over to the lady and whispers with her for a second. Dubhán thinks they must have put a silencing charm up around them. He stands up and waits for them to finish.
When they're done, the lady comes over and says goodbye to him and kisses him softly atop his head, he stands still, careful to not suggest he wants the contact. Even he knows that letting Potter into his mind – that hinting at his desire for him to enter his mind, would be something Voldemort could see. Yet, he thought he could probably hide that much more easily then if he had spoken those thoughts aloud.
"Get dressed, alright? I'll show you where the kitchen at Hogwarts is – the elves there will be more than happy to make you some breakfast to go." He leaves the room and closes the door.
Dubhán pulls on his trousers and a robe and looks in his mirror, parting his hair. He doesn't want to look terrible, if he's going to Hogwarts! He tucks his wand into a pocket designed for just that. Once his wand is tucked inside the pocket, which is a long rectangle starting mid-thigh laid onto his trouser pants outer seam, the pocket looks as if it is empty. The trousers, of course, are spelled.
Potter is in the hallway waiting for him. They walk to the floo together and Harry shouts "Dumbledore's Office" before letting Dubhán step through. Dubhán has never been through the floo alone and he tumbles out and Potter, coming through quickly, almost trips over him.
When Potter helps him up, he notices the man sitting behind the large desk – Dumbledore. He's on his chocolate frogs. For a moment he has the unspeakable urge to hide behind Potter's leg like an infant.
"Hello, sir." He says instead, using his politest voice with that certain lilt that Voldemort most likes. He holds his head just right. Voldemort would call it 'regal' or 'important'. Dumbledore's eyebrows rise behind his spectacles.
"Hello, Mr. Potter," he says softly. "How are you this morning?"
"I am afraid I cannot possibly answer your question how you certainly wish, sir." He looks up at the man.
"I see. So I take it you are not doing very well?"
"I did not say those words, or outwardly imply such a thing. I merely said I could not give you the answer you seek, sir." Behind him, Potter is frowning.
"Well, I do hope someday soon you will be able to answer my question." Dubhán nods. Dumbledore smiles.
"Dubhán?" Potter asks and the boy turns to him. "I need to speak to Albus. Will you wait for me in the waiting room?" The boy nods. When he enters it is empty, but half an hour later, a young boy comes in.
"I've got a message from a professor, do you know if he's busy?" The boy asks. He looks like a first year.
"Dumbledore is speaking with someone," he says simply. The boy visibly slumps and takes a seat across from him.
"Suppose I'll just be waiting, then," he says softly. A moment later he lifts his head and frowns at Dubhán. "Don't think I know you, but you look like a first year like me…"
"I'm eight. I'm here with Mr. Potter."
The boy's eyebrows shoot up. "Harry Potter? What cha doin' with him?" The boy asks quickly.
"He brought me along with him, but obviously they're speaking about something I shouldn't hear, so I'm sitting here." Listening to your ask stupid questions. He kept the last thought to himself, though.
"Are you…are you the lost Potter boy?" He asks tentatively.
"I'm not lost," he replies, prickling defensively.
"No I mean…" the boy looks left and right at the portraits surround them. He stands up and sits down next to him. "Are you the boy that You-Know-Who lost? You know, the Potter boy?"
Dubhán narrows his eyes at the boy then lowers his gaze to examine his house crest. He's a Slytherin.
"What would you know about that?" The boy shrugs.
"I heard somethin' about it over summer break is all. So, are you?"
"What's you're last name?"
"Why?"
"What's your last name?"
"Bowman," he says tensely. Dubhán runs the name through his head and realizes he's sitting across from a Death Eater's son. Not a high ranking Death Eater, but a Death Eater non-the-less. He leans forward.
"Hogwarts lets you send letters home, yeah?" The boy nods, still looking a bit put-out after Dubhán's demanding tone. "I need you to send a message to your father for me. He'll know what to do with it."
The boy is peering at him closely. "So you are the lost Potter boy." Dubhán nods, ignoring the 'lost' part.
"I need you to write your dad and say "I saw Dubhán at Hogwarts. He wanted me to pass his appearance along."
"That's it?"
"Yes. I haven't got anymore information that would be helpful. You can tell them I'm unplotable, but I'm sure they know that already. Can you remember that?"
"Why should I do this?"
"Because The Dark Lord will reward your father." The boy looked at him for a moment then nodded. "Now go sit back there and pretend we haven't been talking." The boy nods again and reseats himself across the room. Ten minutes later, Potter comes walking through the door. He says hello to the other boy, who replies likewise, and then beckons Dubhán out of the room.
They stop at a picture of fruit and when Potter tickles the pear the portrait door slides to the side and reveals the Hogwart's kitchens. The house elves within turn to the newcomers and seeing it is "Harry Potter" crowd around, cheering. One elf, a dressed elf comes over to them and jumps up and down in joy.
"Oh, Dobby is happy to be seeing Harry Potter. Dobby got Harry Potter's card about Harry Potter's son being found and Dobby is very happy for Harry Potter!" The elf turned to him "Oh, Dobby is happy, happy to be seeing you okay, Harry Potter's son!" Dubhán scrunches up his face at being referred to in such a way.
"Dobby, can I ask a favor?"
"Harry Potter can be asking Dobby anything and Dobby is doing it, right away!"
"Could you make Dubhán some breakfast, something he can take with him?" Dobby dashes away and comes back with a breakfast sandwich, partially wrapped in paper. Dubhán thanks him for it.
"Oh, Dobby is happy to be helping Harry Potter's son! Happy, Happy, Happy!" Harry says something to him and then they leave through the portrait hole and begin heading towards Professor Snape's Office.
The Professor hadn't exactly volunteered to teach him back in the kitchen, and Potter didn't seem that keen on the idea, but Dubhán knew this man had to be the best for the job. He'd survived his Grandfather, after all. He'd lied to him, spied against him, given just enough information about the other side to infuriate Voldemort, at least that was what the other Death Eaters said. He was also rough and hard and more likely to sneer if Dubhán failed then try to comfort him, and that was comforting. Dubhán hadn't quite come to understand the man and the lady's coddling behavior, as much as he might occasionally desire to participate. Snape's rules were clear and they were void of emotions and that suited Dubhán just fine. He knew how to please men like Snape, even though they were unlikely to tell him he had done so.
"Here we go. He'll have a class though, so we'll just wait." Potter leans against the door and smiles at him. Dubhán leans against the opposite wall and looks at his feet, thinking of what he had read last night.
"Nervous?" Potter asks kindly, after a long silence. Dubhán tries to examine his emotions, something he's well used to doing. Finally, he nods, just once. "It'll be okay," Harry says. "He's not as mean as he acts."
"On the contrary, Mr. Potter. My actions only show a fraction of my true capacity to be ill-tempered." Potter actually throws his head back and laughs; Dubhán thinks he is more than a little foolish. Dubhán, himself, chooses to keep his head bowed. The Professor steps over to the door and opens it up. "Well, do come in. I won't have the famous Harry Potter standing outside my door – your mere presence is likely to attract all the dunderheads to my door, which I will not have." So they step inside and Potter seats himself on a chair. Dubhán follows suit.
"I came asking for a favor," Potter begins. Snape snorts.
"I owe you no favors, Mr. Potter," he reminds, his eyes on the parchments he'd been carrying. He's unfolding them, laying them out on the surface of his desk.
"I didn't ask for a repayment, I asked for a favor. I would owe you." Potter says, a bit tensely.
"A Potter openly admitting to owing me?" Snape looks up. "Now this sounds intriguing. James Potter is probably rolling in his grave."
"Yeah, well, I have no problem owing you. You're the one with the grudge against me, not the other way around. Now, I came asking a favor. I've tried finding someone to teach Dubhán Occlumency, but there simply isn't anyone as talented on you that I can get to as quickly. So I'm asking if you would teach him."
Snape looks up from his papers slowly, eying the boy closely. Instead of shrinking under the regard, the boy straightens up and peers back.
"I'm sure he has as much propensity as you yourself do, Mr. Potter," Snape said dismissively, "which will make my teaching him a moot point. He'll never be able to master the art."
"Sir?" Both adults turn to his small, but confident, voice. "I'm not Potter. I'm Devlin. Please, sir? Maybe…maybe you'd do it for her?" Potter is frowning in confusion, but the Potion Master has gone Muggle-paper white. They look at each other from across the desk for a long moment.
"What do you know about that, boy?" He's seething. Dubhán thinks carefully. He won't say anything definite in front of Potter – he doesn't think Snape would appreciate it.
"I know enough to know what I'm talking about," he says simply, keeping the man's regard. The Potion Master's jaw is clenched.
"I will entertain the idea and owl you in the morning," he says softly. "Now leave!"
Clearly I have ended this chapter right before the scene I am most dreading, but I have begun drafting that scene and think I'll be okay…I think. Hope everyone had a great Holiday weekend. :)
I was delighted to see that someone new reviewed! Please do review – the ego boost is nice! And it really did help get me feeling like I could confront this scene, even though it was the less dreaded of the two. :)
Alright, so I'll leave you with two words: Please Review!