I think I'm starting to get my groove back.
Dovahkiin shivered as the pleistocene cold of the warehouse seeped through his army green parka. Is this what it feels like to be an eskimo? No it wasn't, Dovahkiin thought to himself. Eskimos would probably have more insulating cloths. Or were they just used to feeling cold like this. Dovahkiin silently thanked Jesus that he wasn't born an eskimo.
"Your welcome", said Jesus. He then walked out of the scene. He shall not be seen or mentioned in this story ever again..
"You triangulated the signal yet?", he asked Butters. "No nothing yet." He went back to typing numbers into the console of his "Chaos Computer." The Computer itself was a freakish jumbled together creation. The Database, which looked suspiciously like an old film projector, was connected to the monitor, an old static filled TV. Butters claimed that he could "detect patterns and Science things by analyzing the data on the screen." All Dovahkiin saw were scrambled black lines against a blue background. But then he wasn't a super genius so what did he know. Dougie typed something into the calculator taped to the bottom of the monitor, to complete the calculation. "Still nothing", Chaos grumbled. Dovahkiin glanced around the room absentmindedly. Chaos computers, Hamster minions, pictures of some Cape named Mysterion all over the place, and a banner that said Headquarters of Doom. If Dovahkiin didn't know any better he'd say Professor Chaos was not only a genius, but an evil genius. But that couldn't be right. Professor Chaos had fought by his side all through the war for the stick of truth and the struggle against the Nazi's. Surely his first friend in South Park, the kid he'd saved from some elves, the boy he'd beat up Kyle for, was firmly on the side of good. Right?
The door flung open. Two silhouetted figures. An alarm screeched. "You'll never take me alive!", Professor Chaos let towards their enemy. "What the fuck!", exclaimed Dovahkiin. One of the figures tossed something. And then the room filled with smoke.
Mysterion raised the cry of a demon and charged towards his stunned opponents. He launched his fist at the second individual who, judging from his height and the crown he wore on his head, was Butters's friend King Douchebag. Have you no decency sir. First you enable the TP bandit. And then you dress up as a fantasy character in a superhero setting. The extent of evil in the world always surprised him.
The new kid slumped over and withdrew something from his pocket. A cone of fire engulfed the world in front of Mysterion. Flame singed his mask and rawed his face. "Ow Ow", he scratched at the pain. "Not cool asshole." The New kid recovered his senses and ran off. "Oh no you don't",Mysterion brushed himself off and turned to follow. The smoke began to clear.
Tammy had Dougie pinned against the ground. Dovahkiin stood before Mysterion in a fighting stance his wizarding wand drawn. Chaos was nowhere to be found.