Cartman looked up from his map and towards the big house at the end of the driveway. It was the color of ash and Cartman couldn't decide if it was a Mcmansion, a regular old mansion, an estate or just a really big house. "
I have got to get richer friends", Cartman said to Cupid Me, who was perched on his shoulder. "Token seems nice", Cupid Me added helpfully. He crossed his arms. "It's not the same." Cartman strolled up to the doorway and rang the doorbell. It chirped charmingly and the door creeped open.
"Who is this. Is this People? George? JJ Abrams? All of you can go straight to hell. I'm not interested in talking to the press, I'm not going to fall for your stupid Nostalgia pitch for another Indiana Jones movie, that midlife crisis ended a while ago, and for fucks sake you already killed off Han Solo. Let the poor fuck rest in peace." He looked down at the fat boy. "Who are you?"
"Hello Doctor Jones. I'm Eric Cartman. And I have an artifact for you to examine.", he handed Jones the tape.
Jones seemed ready to say something, but then he examined the object. "Where did you get this?", his eyes were glazed with wonder. "A friend gave it to me", Eric said cooly. "It's..It's a VHS tape.", Jones said wondrously. "Yeah yeah I know, but how does it work?",he tapped his foot on the ground. "Well you put it in a VHS player and it plays Video.", Jones shrugged. "I don't suppose you would have one in your personal collection?", Cartman said hopefully.
"A collection. Son this stuff belongs in a museum!", Jones exclaimed. He put his hand on his chin. "Or else with somebody whose to broke to afford a DVD player, let alone a Neflix." "Now will you get the hell of my lawn!" The door slammed shut in Cartman's face.
"Could anyone I know possibly so poor and inbred that their still using a VCR", Cartman asked aloud. Cupid Me raised his hand and waved in the manner of a drowning man trying to signal a lifeguard. Cartman called on him. "It's Kenny isn't it?", the fairy cooed eagerly. "No shit Sherlock", said Cartman.