Chapter 22 Reek Jokes
The rain poured down as the TP bandit observed his latest work. Melted toilet paper rotted on the glistening mettle walls of The Lofts. "I have a great arm don't I", the Bandit said with a smug grin. "Absolutely divine throw sir", his henchman chirped happily, a rare emotion for him. The master smiled, a cruel, knife like grin. "Of course you have a very good hand don't you my sweet twisted Oliver", his tone lecherous and cruel. "III gguess", the naive fool stammered. Most boys his age talked frequently a lot about his father's work, but the reality of it was they were just scared little small boys, completely blind to the cruel world they inhabited, and the even crueler ones that lurk around them, behind the twisted corner of a twisted corner of shadow and fire.
He caressed the boy, who quivered. Then his face turned cruel and he threw his arms onto his servant's chest, shoving him to the ground. "I can smell fear you know", he looked away. It conveyed the distinct impression that the creature that laid on his haunches was unworthy of even a glance. "You reek.", he laughed at his own wit. "Yes sir", his servant kowtowed in supplication. "Reek rhyme with freak you know", he said with the hope that the wretch would get the reference. "Yes sir",the words were spoke in a pathetic squeak.
"You don't get it do you?", the wind and rain shrieked and a bolt of lightning dashed through the sky with a shout of thunder. The servant suddenly became very afraid. "Forgive me my master. I am a lame ass looser who can't keep up with pop culture. I throw myself at your feet and beg for mercy", the words were said in a rapid machine gun like mumble.
"Oh for fucks sake it's from Game of Thrones", the TP bandit threw up his arms in indignation. "Game of what?", the lost boy said, puzzled. "You know the cultural phenomena, source of legions of the most annoying meme's ever to infest the internet? The most perverted and violent fantasy story ever put to television? The one with the whipped eunuch called Reek?", his voice felt like a whip, lacerating the other boy for his stupidity. More than anything, that boy cared about pleasing the TP bandit. He hoped that one day his master would recognize this loyalty and start treating him better. Maybe he'd even call him by his real name. Nobody had called him that in so long. But he saw how the bandit was acting. He knew that today would not be that day.
"You half wit", the TP bandit shouted at him. "Yes m'lord I am a half wit on a good day.", he hoped that speaking in a ye old English fantasy accent would be enough to appease him. It was all anybody seemed to want with his kind. "Your also a cowardly wretch. The fun of kicking a curled up dog fades quickly.", then he turned and walked away, knowing that the Lost Boy would follow. "Where are we going", the boy asked, clutching himself in a vain effort against the bitting cold. "To find more interesting minions.", he smiled yet again. A cruel knowing smile. Like a cat toying with mice. To his boy Ophelia it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
If you know a fantasy story that got a TV show that is more perverted and violent than game of thrones, send me a message.
And if anyone has any idea who the TP bandit or his minion are send me a message. If your correct I'll give you a shoutout in the next chapter.