So here's the third chapter! I actually wanted to publish it yesterday but I really wanted to hit at least 3000 words for it. So I kept it and added some more today. Now, it's (disregarding a/n) 3,262 words long. Yay! Well, I hope you all enjoy this! And don't worry, I plan on more detailed Snape - Luffy interaction later too! :D Have fun reading!

Harry Potter didn't know what to make of the new Assistant Potion's professor. (He didn't even know that professors could have assistants!) Of course, this was probably the most expected outcome, seeing as the boy-who-lived had yet to make contact with the App. (As dubbed by the many students of Hogwarts, who just could not bring themselves to wasting the minute seconds of their life droning out the long title. This title also brought out quite a bit of confusion from the pureblood wizards, who could not understand why the muggle-borns would break out in laughter whenever someone called the professor the App. Even Hermione Granger found it hard to hold down her amusement...which was altogether quite sad since it wasn't even that good of a joke to begin with.) Fortunately, (or was it unfortunately) Harry saw that according to his timetable, his first class of the year was Potion's with Snape! (And the Slytherins, never forget the Slytherins!) It would seem that he would finally get the chance to discover the mystery that was Professor Luffy!

Grinning slightly to himself, Harry made his way to the Grand Hall for breakfast, with a slight skip to his step. To his side, Harry's best friend Hermione raised a brow amusedly. "What's got you so chirpy, Harry?"

"Blimey, mate! I hope you remember we got Snape first!" Harry's other best friend, Ron whined.

"I know." Harry glowered, but he quickly shook the thought from his head, "It's just been a really great day so far! And I'm actually kinda excited to meet the App!"

"You are?" asked Hermione.

"Why wouldn't he be!" Ron chuckled, "Just the thought of getting to watch Snape's nerves fry 'cuz of the App is going to be bloody perfect!"

Hermione frowned reprimandingly, "That's rude Ron! How do you know that the Assistant Professor is going to be such a nuisance to Snape? For all we know he could be a perfectly logical and intellectual person who finds teaching Potion's alongside Snape to be enjoyable!"

"Hermione," Harry interjected, "this is Snape we're talking about. Since when does he care if someone's logical an' intellectual?"

Hermione frowned at the realization, "Well...I guess you're right but...that still doesn't give us the right to..."

The rest was drowned out by the din of the Grand Hall. And honestly, Harry didn't care much for Hermione's spouts of random righteousness. He knew that the girl hated Snape as much as he did, so whatever came out of her mouth was without a doubt hypocrisy. Plus the scent of sizzling eggs and honeyed oatmeal wafted under his nose. Harry breathed in deeply, he really did love breakfasts in Hogwarts. They were so much better than the rationed portions he'd get back with the Dursley's.

"Huh. The App isn't here." commented Ron who was looking up at the lengthy staff table.

"Uhg." Hermione scowled, "She's still here."

Harry looked up from his oatmeal. Both the App and Snape were missing from breakfast, and Umbridge was stuffing miniscule pieces of bacon down her throat. Now if she could only choke on it...

A rough shake of his shoulders pulled Harry out of his reverie. It was Ron telling him to hurry up, since breakfast was nearing it's end. Nodding, Harry gulped down the last of his oatmeal and quickly shot up from his seat. With a smile to his face he left the Grand Hall; it really was a great day so far. Malfoy didn't come picking for a fight, Umbridge ignored him throughout breakfast, and Snape wasn't even there to glare at him as he accidentally spilled Dean's pumpkin juice all over the Gryffindor table! A good day indeed! Now only if it would last throughout the rest of the hours...

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His left eye twitched maniacally has he tried to explain the basic concept of school to the new assistant. Severus was, without a doubt, having the worst day of his life. This Luffy was apparently a pirate who was going to be king one day. He also had never gone to school, was barely literate, and knew next to nothing (more close to the nothing than the next) about potions! Severus Snape was a thumb's width away from strangling the boy with his bare hands!

Currently, Luffy was seated on a chair in the corner of the room, "I'm hungry!" the boy whined, "Why won't you let me eat! I can't do anything if I don't have my meat! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!"

Now both left and right eye were twitching, "Shut up!"

Snape was now an ant's width away from murder.

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Harry strolled into the dreary dungeon with a slightly more apprehensive mood than he had during breakfast. Now that he was actually this close to meeting the new App, Harry wasn't sure what he expected. (He didn't even know why he wanted to meet the App so badly in the first place!) Taking a seat beside Ron, and Hermione paired with Neville in front of him, Harry scanned the room for the App. He found the boy sitting on a stool in the corner of the room with a sulking expression.

"Quiet." growled Snape as he glided towards the front of the room, midnight shaded robes billowing after him. The man regarded the class full of teenagers with a stark gaze and sneered quite rudely in response. Trailing his eyes to the right-most corner of the room, the Potion's professor eye's flashed in annoyance.

"You all know my assistant," he spat the word out as though it were an unforgivable curse, "he will be here to...assist me with my apparent troubles."

Harry stared at Snape with widening eyes; he had never seen the professor look so angry. (And quite the anger it was. Later many students would claim that a nerve in the left temple of Snape's head was bulging and throbbing in feverous motion, as though all the blood were getting to his head, making chances of internal combustion so much more plausible. The Slytherins sneered at this assumption while the rest of Hogwart's cheered in encouragement.)

"Luffy." snapped Snape.

The boy looked up from his gloom with a tearful expression. Snape grinned evilly, "Do come up and explain today's lesson. I should like to see how...adequate you are."

Nodding Luffy stood up and dragged himself to Snape. Turning to face the class Luffy woefully said, "Today's lesson is on the importance of breakfast."

Snape ground his teeth together, "No you idiotic bore, we are discussing Golpalott's Third Law." (Snape had assumed that Luffy would remember at least that much from their earlier conversation.)

Luffy corrected himself, "Today's lesson is on Golpalott's Third Law and how he agreed that breakfast is one of the five important meals of the day!"

"Antidotes." Snape spat.

"I'm hungry!" Luffy wailed in reply.

"You are to be my assistant, and since it's bloody impossible to make you sit still without killing you I will have you be of at least some use!" the Potion's professor bellowed, "Now quit screaming about food and teach!"

"I'm hungry!" Luffy wailed once again, this time swaying at his feet.

"I. Said. Teach." Snape ground out of his mouth.

"You're so mean!" Luffy cried, "Meanie! Meanie! Meanie weeny! Just because you're a vampire that doesn't need to eat six times a day doesn't mean you're allowed to make the rest of us starve too!"

Snape's usually white face paled even further and in contrast his already dark eyes darkened, "I'M NOT A BLOODY VAMPIRE!"

"Yes you are!" Luffy shot back with a pointed finger, "You're as pale as one, you're eyes are as dark as one, and you're as evil as one! You're a vampire man! You're a-a...vampman! Vampman! Vampman! Vampman! Meanie, meanie, meanie weeny VAMPMAN!"

Any glimmer of common sense was lost to the Potion's professor as he tore his wand out and let out a strangled cry, "AVEDA KA-"

"-NOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Hermione Granger who had by some impossible feat of adrenaline rush, managed to jump out of her seat four rows back and land on Snape, "I know he's annoying Professor! But you can't murder your assistant!"

Alas, it seemed that Snape was not to hear Hermione's warning as the impact of the sudden fall caused him to smash his head against the cold stone floor, effectively knocking him out. (So to speak.) Meanwhile, Luffy too had fallen to the floor and was huddled together in the fetal position. (If one strained their ears enough they would make out a faint noise coming from the boy, as though he were chanting food over and over again.)

In the back of the room Ron turned to Harry with two raised thumbs and the grin of a maniac. Harry in reply stated exactly what the red head was thinking, "Best. Class. Ever!"

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Poppy regarded the ungodly sight in disgust: Practically all the 5th year Slytherin's from Snape's potion's class at the time had come rushing up to her hospital wing. They all screamed at once and she could make neither heads nor tails of the fuss. It wasn't until that Parkinson told them to shut up, that she finally understood what happened. After informing Dumbledore of the incident she had the house elfs apparate Snape and that new assistant of his into her hospital wing.

A simple Wideye potion was enough for Snape's concussion, and the man was now resting peacefully in one of her beds. Luffy, as she had come to know the assistant, on the other hand was a different matter. Apparently he had not eaten a morsel for the past twelve hours, which resulted in severe exhaustion. (What kind of person is he? Fainting and nausea? Over that?) The solution? At least a hundred kilograms worth of food provided by the kitchen elfs, that was eaten in a matter of three minutes. Poppy felt a bit of bile rise to her mouth. Never, never again did she want to witness that.

And honestly, Poppy wondered, how could such a skinny boy eat so much. And the way he just expanded...like a balloon! There-there must be an explanation!

"Well." Poppy said sternly, "What have you got to say for yourself boy?"

Luffy looked up from the bed, and burped loudly, "Aaaah. That was good! Thanks lady!"

Poppy grimaced, "That's not what I meant. I want to know how it's possible for you to become this big in such little time!"

Luffy looked down at himself in confusion, "It's 'cuz I ate isn't it."

"No. It is not." Poppy disagreed, "Normal folk don't blow up like that after a meal...and normal folk can't eat that much without getting sick."

"Hmm...I guess it's 'cuz I'm a gum-gum man then!" Luffy laughed while patting his stomach heartily.

Poppy raised a brow, "Gum-gum man?"

"Ahahaha," Luffy chortled, "guess you don't know what that it! It mean's I'm made of rubber!"

Poppy frowned, "You're made of...rubber...and ...what?"

Luffy laughed some more, "Watch this!"

He then proceeded to pinch the side of his left cheek and pull.

Poppy's eyes widened even further as the boy's cheek stretched to an impossible length. Wait, Poppy reprimanded herself, it's not impossible. I'm sure that a potion or spell of some sort that allows the bearer to stretch like that isn't unheard of!

Smiling in relief Poppy quickly put on a stern expression, "We all know that you aren't some rubber man, boy! You're probably just jinxed! Now wait here while I find an antidote!"

"What?" Luffy cried in horror, "I don't want a cure! I like being a rubber man! And I wasn't cursed-well no, I guess I was but...no! Hey! Don't walk away from me lady! What are you picking up? Ehh, don't come any closer! What are you doing? Hey! I'm not drinking that potion! Get it away from me! No! Leave me alone! Gaaahh! Aaaah!"

"Poppy! What on Earth are you doing?"

The matron looked up from her attempts to force-feed Luffy a potion, "This boy refuses to take the antidote to cure his stretching jinx!"

"A stretching jinx?" Dumbledore inquired. He had received word that his staff members were ill in bed and had arrived as swiftly as he could. Though, from what Dumbledore could gather, that no longer seemed to be the case.

"I wasn't cursed! Or jinxed...or however you call it!" Luffy denied, "I'm a rubber man and I don't want you to change that!"

Dumbledore twinkled his eyes, "Care to show me a demonstration, lad?"

"What? Ehh, why not."

Noticing a vase of flowers situated on top of a shelf near the opposite end of the room, Luffy stretched his arm forward, forward, forward until he had the vase in his grip. Then with a quick snap he brought the item back to the bed along with the rest of his arm. The boy saw the astonished expression Poppy wore and grinned up at the woman.

"This doesn't seem to be a stretching jinx, Poppy." Dumbledore inferred, "He's much too in control of this ability. Tell me boy, how did you come about this power?"

"I ate the gum-gum fruit!" explained Luffy, "It's a devil fruit that gave me a rubber body. It's really great! Except the fruit tasted really yucky and I can't swim anymore but...I never could anyways so I don't really care bout that!"

"A rubber body you say?" Dumbledore mused, "So not just the ability to stretch...should I assume that like rubber itself you are also an insulator?"

"Insu-what?" Luffy had no idea what the word meant. It sounded like something Nami would use.

"Insulator. A material that doesn't conduct electricity." Seeing that Luffy still didn't quite get it Dumbledore elaborated further, "Meaning, you aren't affected by lightning. It doesn't hurt you."

"Oh that!" realized Luffy, "Yeah! This one time I had to fight a really strong lightning man but his devil fruit power didn't hurt me. I guess that's what you're talking about!"

"So it is! And I do wish to know more about this devil fruit. What can you tell me about that?"

"Sir!" Poppy cried, "Surely you aren't taking this boy seriously! I mean...it has to be a spell of some sort!"

"Now, now Poppy!" Dumbledore chuckled humorously, "Try to keep an open mind. Anything is possible! So, the devil fruits, boy?"

"Oh right. Well...I don't really know much except that they're really gross tasting and look kinda weird. Like mine was a yellow ball with a ton of weird curly spirals on it. And when you eat the fruit you become a hammer, which means you can't swim anymore. But in return you get a really awesome power!"

"What kind of powers? Where is this fruit grown? Do the fruits vary? Is it possible two eat more then one fruit? Are all the powers unique, or can they be shared between different individuals? And-"

"Hey! Hey!" The rubber man interrupted, "You're asking too many questions! I'm gonna fry my brain if you make me think too much! Just...just let me tell you what I know!"

"Fair enough." The headmaster agreed.

"Okay...so I'm pretty sure that you can't eat more then one fruit cuz if you do you die...though Blackbeard had two powers somehow so I'm not entirely certain 'bout that...ehh well, err-there's only one of each fruit in the world. Meaning until I die there won't be another gum-gum fruit 'cuz I'm the only one who ate it. And I don't really know where the fruits come from. I haven't met anyone who does, either. I guess they come from a mystery place, so that's not really important!"

Dumbledore smiled; it really did seem that Luffy knew nothing else of the fruit. But he couldn't possibly spite the boy for that, the headmaster still managed to learn quite a bit. And he really did hope that one day he'd be in possession of one of the fruits. All the possibilities... "Tell me about the different powers."

Luffy grinned, "It's really cool! Umm..we have three-or four I guess, categories for the powers. Paramecia, Logia and Zoon...but Mythical Zoan is also one I guess. Basically I'm a paramecia...our powers are pretty all over the place, Logia's have the power over nature...like I once fought a man who had suna suna no mi; he had the power of sand. And another guy, Smoker, had the power of smoke...which is kinda funny 'cuz that's his name."

"Yes," Dumbledore chuckled, "It is ironic."

Luffy continued, "Zoan is for devil fruits that turn you into animals. Like...this one guy I fought could turn into a really big cat...like a leopard or something! And Mythical Zoan is when you can turn into a make-belief animal. Like a unicorn or a phoenix!"

"Ahahaha, interesting, it seems that where you come from magic like ours doesn't seem to exist."

"Really?" Luffy laughed along with the old man.

"Yes indeed. I'll let you in on a little secret boy, I have a pet phoenix!"

"That's so coooooool!" The boy exclaimed, "So it's not a fantasy here then?"

"Nope." Dumbledore laughed heartily, "I'll let you meet him soon. And the other magical creatures as well. I'm sure Hagrid would be pleased!"

"I'd really like that old man." Luffy nodded gratefully.

Poppy on the other hand was far from grateful. She really did want to trust her employer, but it was getting quite hard to do so when he was becoming so obviously senile. Honestly, how could anyone believe this boy's fantasies? Poppy thought bewildered, I really should help him, even if Dumbledore doesn't agree. He's obviously not right in the head. And that jinx needs to be taken care of...perhaps Minerva will be more sensible. I should get her opinion on this.