Alternate Ending:

[This is for all my readers who hate those sappy "happily ever after" endings. I won't let it go at that, and here is the alternate ending to "After You." ]

He leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

I choke on tears. An overwhelming ache hits me hard. My chest hurts, burns. I feel it in the pit of my stomach, such an evil ache. I can't stop crying. I try not to gasp too loudly. I wish I could be quieter. I cry myself to sleep.

I get dressed slowly; running tonight's events through my head. Sickly slow motion images, sounds, little irrelevant things come first. Colors. Furniture. Sounds. Aches...

I want to run away from all of this, but at the same time I wish I could save myself from this. I wish he would just give me a chance to understand. I walk out to the living room. Kanda is gone. Lavi is waiting by the door. He won't look at me. He's just standing there. I move close to him, ready to leave, but not ready to let go.

"We could have had everything. I could have given you the world. So why? Just tell me that."

"I told you before, it wasn't how it looked. I would never...I didn't want to, not with him..."

"You're still going to lie to me, after all you've done?"

"I'm not. I'm not lying."

The tears come back so quickly. I can't look him in the face. I don't want to see the hurt, or hate in his eyes.

"I really loved you, Allen."

"You don't understand! I didn't want to do anything with him! Why don't you believe me!"

I throw my arms around him and pull him close to me.

"I didn't. I love you! I love you!" The words don't come out like I want them to, held back by breathlessness and choking on desperate anguish; tears pour out and I can't hold them back. He won't believe me. He won't give me a second chance and I can't change his mind. I feel so helpless. He pushes me away from him and I can feel my heart break. I don't want to let him go. Why doesn't he see...

He unlocks the door and opens it for me.

"I'm sorry." He still won't look at me. He mumbles it a few times before I actually hear him say it out loud.

"I just can't trust you."

I really screwed this up.

I walk out and look back at him. He hasn't shut the door yet, like he's waiting for me to say something.

Finally, he looks up, and our eyes meet.

"I had never loved anyone before you Lavi, and I don't think I can ever love anyone after you."