Again, long before CoE, about one and a half years after History Of A Garden.
More Than His Garden
To tell the truth, Lovino had no idea why it was that he had not thought about this before. It was obvious. Yet, he had not thought about it at all. He had never considered it. In the year (or more? He did not remember) this had been going on it was the one thing he had not thought about, despite thinking at first that the other was here for a completely different reason than what he said.
Then he saw it.
Maybe if he was still twelve he would have thrown a fit. Antonio always noticed his fits. But Marcus was there as well and Lovino did not want his grandfather to pay attention to his fit. It would end up with him being compared to Feliciano, he just knew it. Or (even worse) Feliciano would show up and start acting as if the world was made out of puppy-dogs and pasta and that he should come out and play with him and Ludwig because it would be fun.
Lovino did not like Ludwig. He did not like Feliciano either.
Those were the reasons he did not throw a fit. Even though he just wanted Antonio to tell him it was not true. Even though it was true and Lovino could understand why it was. Why would Antonio be here for him anyway?
Peeking through the door, opened only a crack, he watched as Marcus paid Antonio for tutoring him this week. Then he closed the door.
"Of course..." he chuckled to himself weakly, refusing to cry about something he just should have known. "I should have known that."
His grandfather had to pay for someone to spend time with him. And Lovino was enough trouble Antonio did not even always bother with the tutoring part. Was that it?
"Bastard."
Sniffling, wiping his face off on his sleeve, Lovino locked himself up in his room.
Antonio was aware just how much more friendly the adults were toward the three of them while they were in the garden. Probably because they were being productive and not causing trouble? That sounded right. Gilbert was actually planting with them, bored of just watching and seeming to like having the hose in hand to spray them with water.
"I'm just not certain what to get Lovino and Feliciano for their birthdays," Antonio said, wiping the water out of his face as Francis wrestled Gilbert for the hose. Francis lost and sat up, still on the ground, moving his hair out of his eyes.
He was also wondering how to pay for whatever he would be buying. As it was he was struggling to meet up with what the garden needed. Probably because he was not tutoring Lovino as much anymore. But Lovino did not need as much tutoring! He was doing so much better now, Antonio only had to show up once a week for that now. Which meant he and Lovino could use up the rest of the times that week to do other things!
"Anyone ever wonder how strange it is that they were born on the same day?" Francis asked as he wrung his hair out. "It is like their parents decided to have at it on the same day two years in a–"
"Anyone efer hate dis time of year?" Gilbert retorted as he actually turned the water on the flowers which still were alive as opposed to turning it on Antonio. "Ludwig goes ballistic! 'Vhat should I get Feliciano? Vhat vould Feliciano like? Feliciano, Feliciano, Feliciano!' I love de kid, really, but my bruder can make me tired of hearing his name! I can't vait for dat party to be done ant ofer..."
"Sounds like love~" Antonio smiled widely. Gilbert scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"Vhatefer gafe you dat idea?" he retorted sarcastically. Francis mimed stabbing Gilbert with a trowel as his back was turned.
"I just find it funny that you are the only one who says it that way," Francis suddenly mentioned, looking over at Antonio. Antonio paused, thinking about it.
"Says... what what way?"
"Lovino and Feliciano," Francis said.
"As opposed to vhat?" Gilbert asked, turning off the hose.
"Feliciano and Lovino," Francis put emphasis on Lovino's name again, still looking at Antonio. "You're the only one that puts his name first."
Antonio almost responded, but then he thought about it. Had he really? He had never noticed, the order of their names when he mentioned the both of them was not something he thought about. "Do I really?"
"Mon ami, and that does not include the fact most people do not bother to mention Lovino at all," Francis continued, tapping a finger against his chin, where he had been trying to grow a beard. Gilbert and he had not mentioned how ridiculous it looked yet, deciding rather that they should snicker at him behind his back.
"You hafe been spending a lot of time vith him," Gilbert said, folding his arms across his chest with a frown.
"Yes?"
"Even more than just to tutor him," Francis added. Antonio wondered what their point was.
"What? Am I not allowed to have friends besides the both of you?" Antonio asked, rather amused at the thought of the both of them being jealous.
"Fuck no," Gilbert shook his head. "It's just... ah..."
"We've been teasing Ludwig about Feliciano when there was an even closer target~!" Francis said in a sing-song voice. His words, however, seemed rather stupid.
"Of course there are closer targets," Antonio responded. "We tease Gilbert about Elizaveta and Gilbert and I tease you about Arthur."
Francis frowned. "That's not what I was referring to."
"Speaking of vhich, I heard dat Roy's got a varrant out for your arrest," Gilbert smirked widely, punching Francis in the shoulder.
"Not a real one," Francis responded, rubbing at his shoulder. "He just wants me to stay away from the house."
"And what does your fair Arthur think of that?" Antonio asked.
"Fair nothing," Francis tsked. "He snuck into my house last night, so I would say he does not care too much."
Antonio and Gilbert stayed quiet as Francis went to the rose bushes. "I dink I feel dirty just by knowing him," Gilbert said quietly with a grimace. Instead of making the comparison which came to mind, Antonio glanced at his house, hoping that the windows were closed and his abuela did not hear that.
Still, Antonio was left still wondering what he should get Lovino for his birthday. It was relatively easy to come up with something for Feliciano, Feliciano up and asked whether he could have first pick at some of his vegetables when they were ripe and Antonio agreed right off the bat.
It did make him wonder whether Lovino would like something from his garden. Knowing the boy, however, he would like something on the day, instead of a promise for something in the future. Antonio knew, in the future, if he was going to promise something to Lovino he would have to have something to give him right on the spot so that he would believe it.
With a few ideas in mind, but not a mind to decide what Lovino might want the most, he finally went to ask Lovino what he thought would be best.
"I think he's in his room," Feliciano told him, covered in paint from trying to help his 'student'. "No Ludwig! That's good, good! Ve~ Don't cover it up!"
"Thank you~" Antonio responded, leaving Feliciano to put himself all over Ludwig so as to keep Ludwig from giving up on his painting. He left the two of them there, ignoring Ludwig's near look of plea for an escape. After all, he did not really want to get out! He just thought he did right now!
Antonio knocked on Lovino's door. "Lovi~? Want to go out? I thought we could have a pre-birthday celebration, just you and me!"
It was quiet.
With a smile, Antonio knocked again. "Lovino~ I know you're in there! Would you rather stay in instead? We could watch a movie!"
Quiet. Antonio blinked at the door.
"Lovino?"
"Go. Away."
"Aw... Lovi, you don't mean that!" Antonio announced. Lovino never meant it when he said that. It was almost a shout for people to stay.
"I do, and don't call me that."
"Why not?" Antonio asked, trying to glance through the keyhole. Unlike all of those movies he had seen it happen in, he could not see through it to the other side. Antonio continued to wait and Lovino continued to be silent. "Is there something wrong? You can tell me~!"
"Fuck. Off."
"Language!" Antonio reminded him cheerfully. He waited, as any moment Lovino was going to open the door to yell at him. And when it did not happen Antonio suddenly realized that something was actually wrong. "Lovino? You know you can tell me what's going on. We could go to my place and I could make tapas!"
Lovino did not respond. Two hours and Antonio decided that if nothing he had said in all that time got anything, then Lovino might have gone to sleep.
He had not done this since the first month he had known him. What was going on?
"I have to go, Lovi. But I'll come back after school tomorrow for the party~"
Antonio stood there, waiting for an answer that did not come. Staring down at his feet, he finally turned and left.
"...I just don't know."
Gilbert shrugged, taking one of Antonio's chorizo's, as he always did during luncheon. Antonio did not remember if he ever cared too much, though he did remember asking why Gilbert never brought anything from home. It was likely laziness. Antonio might have had the same problem, but for abuela who took packing his lunches as one of her tasks, no matter what he said.
"It doesn't sound too different of him," Gilbert said, chewing away at the cold sausage. Antonio shook his head.
"It is, he is terrible at saying something and then doing it. It's almost always the opposite."
"Den you're talkin' to de vrong person," Gilbert rose an eyebrow. "I life vith Ludwig, vhere it alvays is vhat he says it is. Vhen he isn't lying about Feliciano, dat is."
"That is true, and I would have liked to talk to Francis about it opposed to you," Antonio nodded, mulling over it.
"Hey!"
"...where is he anyway?"
"Abandoned us for Arthur. Again." Gilbert pointed over to where Arthur had been sitting, leaning against the school wall, where now Francis was bothering him.
Antonio shook his head. Gilbert took another sausage. They both watched as the other two started another fight and Arthur stood up to leave. Francis grabbed him, hands around his hips and pulling the other down into his lap.
"Gott, I know vhere dis is going," Gilbert groaned. "I don't hafe to vatch dis. Let's go."
Antonio gathered up his lunch and followed after. He decided to ask Francis during class instead, taking him as his literature partner immediately. Gilbert glared at them, immediately trying to get Elizaveta, who had practically vaulted across the room to partner up with Arthur.
Single partner groups were always very interesting to come up with when there was an even number of people in class that day.
"Lovino ignored me yesterday," Antonio said immediately, as they had managed to settle themselves into the back corner of the classroom, surrounded by the shelves with the history books that their teacher collected.
"Really?" Francis asked, flipping through the pages of Romeo and Juliet.
"Maybe ignored isn't the best word... He was in his room and he wouldn't open the door or tell me why he wouldn't see me!" Antonio went on to say, wiggling his pencil between his fingers, it rapidly hitting him in the knee. "Do you think I did something wrong?" he asked him, staring up from his book.
"Maybe..."
As the Frenchman began to doodle on his worksheet Antonio realized that not only was Francis not interested in hearing about it, it was not even in lieu of pretending he wanted to work. Probably still distracted because the teacher nearly had to drag him and Arthur in late after lunch was over.
Antonio frowned for a moment, before smiling once more, settling himself on his stomache and flattening his book open to Act I Scene 5. "Win your argument?"
"Hm."
"What is that? Arthur agreed with you?"
"It could be."
"You two getting married~?"
"Uh-huh..."
"He told you you are the only one~?"
"I am." Francis looked up at Antonio, eyes narrowed in anger. Antonio blinked.
"Is something wrong?"
"Just do your work Antonio."
Francis was in a bad mood. Antonio figured their argument was eventually won by Arthur, or Francis had been wanting a bit more from the other man before class started and was currently suffering because of it.
Because of that, he did not pry, trying to do his own work, mind distracted. He would just talk with Lovino today. It was probably something he could fix... he would just have to do more than talk at him from outside of his door. Maybe it was because Feliciano was throwing that party today? Antonio remembered last year, when he noticed how much Lovino hated it. Was that always the same?
...that was it! Lovino was just upset again because of Feliciano's party! That would be easy enough to fix!
Antonio stuck around for thirty minutes with the other guests before he knocked on Lovino's door again. "Lovino?" he called in, waiting for a response. Mister Vargas had told him Lovino went straight here after coming home, so he had to be in here. "Lovino?"
This time Antonio stopped knocking after five minutes. That was not working. "Open your window, okay?" he said to the door before he left. He waved over at Gilbert, who was busy trying to keep Ludwig from escaping into the kitchen before he left, walking around the house. Antonio looked up at Lovino's window.
Here went nothing.
Jumping up, he grabbed at the top of the large window which looked into the living room, his feet catching on the sill. He probably could have been wearing better shoes for this. He did not want to get footprints on Mister Vargas' window, so he tried to hop up and grab up at the bricks. It took a couple attempts before he got any sort of hold at all and Antonio found himself hanging by that hand.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Hello Lovi~" Antonio said with a smile as his eye caught sight of where a brick was missing from the old house. He tried to grab for that. "How are you doing?"
"Th-that didn't answer my question, you bastard!" Lovino nearly squeaked, face peering down at him.
"Vhat are you doing?"
Antonio looked down to where Gilbert was hissing at him from. "Climbing."
"Get down!" both Lovino and Gilbert said at the same time. Antonio was rather touched by their concern, however unwarranted it was.
"But you wouldn't let me see you Lovi! Would you open the door for me if I got down?"
"Hell no!"
"Say yes, you little brat!" Gilbert said. Antonio stared down at him.
"Don't talk to Lovino like that Gilbert! It's almost his birthday!"
"Just get down here, 'Toni!"
Antonio's left foot slipped and he had to bring it up a few times before it found a place against the wall where it would stay still. "I'm coming up then."
"No!"
"Antonio, I swear..." Gilbert began as Antonio pulled himself further up again, hand feeling about for another place to grab on. This seemed easier on television, the window in question always had a tree or vines growing up the side of it. "I'm gonna tell Mister Vargas!"
Everyone was making such a big deal out of this. "Why?" he asked Gilbert as he slipped his foot into that hold his hand had just been in.
"Vhy do you dink?"
Lovino shut the window. Antonio blinked up at it for a moment before continuing upward. He did not hear Gilbert yelling at him anymore, so he figured he had gone inside. With one more heft upward, Antonio knocked at the window.
"Lovino? I know you know I'm here~"
The window opened again. Lovino looked, for lack of any other word, positively scared. Which was not what Antonio had hoped for. His foot slipped and he nearly cracked his chin against the corner of the window sill. "Idiot!" Lovino shouted, grabbing at his arm and pulling.
Antonio managed to push his foot against something and clambered inside, slipping in on top of Lovino as they both fell on the floor. Antonio sat up, getting off of Lovino, putting a hand out to him. "Are you all right? I didn't mean to squish you~"
With a glare (surprisingly he did not go red as Antonio had expected), Lovino hit his hand aside. Antonio simply put it back at his side, not phased. "What is wrong with you?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, confused though not giving up his smile for it.
"Just stop pretending!" Lovino demanded, getting to his feet and walking away from him. Antonio got to his feet as well, nearly tripping over a set of Lovino's paints.
"Pretending?" he asked, wondering if Lovino only thought this was something Antonio would know about or whether this was something he really should have known about. "What about?"
"All of it!" Lovino shouted at him, opening the door. "Go away!"
"...Antonio?" a voice wafted in through the window.
"All...?" Antonio questioned before he poked his head outside. "Hello~!" he waved down at Francis, Gilbert, Mister Vargas and the others down there before he pulled his head back in and closed the window. Turning around he walked over to Lovino, but not through the door. "All of what?" he asked, reaching to place a hand on Lovino's head.
"Just– stop!"
He froze right before he touched him. Lovino's fists were clenched, his head was turned downward, but most of all his eyes were shut as if he were expecting to be hit. Withdrawing his hands, Antonio squatted down so that he could look up.
"I know, okay? I know. So just stop."
Antonio pushed the door shut. "What... what is it that you know, Lovino?"
"That you're only here... you're only here because grandpa is paying you. To t-tutor me. I know that. So stop trying to be my friend! S-s-s..."
Lovino could not say more as he had started crying. Antonio stared at him. Lovino thought the only reason he was here was to tutor him? Why? If that was the case, why did Lovino think he came around for all of the not-tutoring? "Lovi–"
"I told you about mammina!" Lovino shrieked, covering his face. "I told you and it didn't matter, did it? I told you and you probably didn't even care! You just got paid–"
He cared!¡Maldita sea!
"Lovino!"
He grabbed the younger teen by the shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. Lovino struggled, as he always did, but Antonio did not let go, resting his head on Lovino's shoulder.
"Don't you dare start talking, don't you dare try and make me feel better, don't you dare–"
Antonio let Lovino rant himself until he started sobbing hiccups (which solicited Italian insults that Antonio knew by this point were very bad), stroking his hair the entire time. Lovino liked it when he had his hands in his hair, he knew that. Hopefully it would calm him down?
"True, I get paid to tutor you," he began, leaning back against the wall. "I'm grateful to your grandfather for the opportunity, not as much for the money as I am for you! At first it was for the money, for my garden... but that lasted about two weeks. I spend time with you just to spend time with you, Lovi. Is that okay?"
He let Lovino pull back, as the other was doing so gently. "Garden?" he asked, confused.
"My garden! I've told you about my garden."
"I don't listen to you." Antonio laughed, ruffling up his hair. Lovino scowled, trying to get off of him, but Antonio did not let him. "Dammit. I just said I don't listen to you – doesn't that make you mad? What's wrong with you?"
"Because you do listen," Antonio said thoughtfully. "You only say you don't because you think I don't listen to you. You don't think I can understand what you mean as opposed to what you say so you try and tell me in the best way you know how... by telling me what you are afraid I'm going to do."
Lovino went stiff.
Antonio stared at the wall, resting his cheek against Lovino's. "Is that okay enough? For being pretend to you~?"
Pulling his head away, Lovino glared at him before staring down. Finally he went bright red and tried to move out of Antonio's lap. Antonio at last let him go. Lovino walked back over to the window, but bent over to grab a box of tissues out of a pile of clothes.
"We can skip the rest of the party downstairs, if you'd like."
Blowing his nose, Lovino finally turned back to him.
"Garden?" he asked, voice quiet and slightly sulky. Antonio smiled, getting to his feet.
"I'll show you!" he announced, reaching out with his hand and wiggling his fingers for Lovino to take. Lovino walked past him, wiping his eyes off again with his sleeve as he opened the door.
"Just... just go on," Lovino waved ahead of himself.
Antonio did so, effectively missing as Lovino's face turned even redder, hands trying to rub the heat off of his cheeks.
"Vas it vorth it?" Gilbert said, tone obviously annoyed. Antonio did not care too much though, his friends could become so easily annoyed.
"Of course it was! And he was just so adorable when I was showing him the garden, I almost couldn't stand it~"
"Could not stand vhat?" Gilbert asked, looking confused. Antonio shrugged with a smile. If Gilbert did not get it, he did not get it. There was not much to say about it, if he could not tell! Antonio glanced over to Francis, who barely seemed to be paying attention to the conversation.
"Did you have fun at the party, Francis?" he asked, having already had Gilbert's version of the events. Ludwig was so obviously head over heels for Feliciano the situation was almost as adorable as Lovino.
Francis looked away from the window and at him. "I suppose. I'm sorry, I'm just tired. I should stop butchering your fun, oui?"
"Dude, you are a dead veight," Gilbert retorted. Francis smiled wryly at them, getting out of the chair he was sitting in.
"Give my apologies to your grandmother, Antonio," Francis said, waving at the both of them before excusing himself.
"Get some rest!" Antonio called after him, waving back. Gilbert scoffed, downing his milkshake, then coughing on it. "You drink everything like it's beer."
"Speaking of vhich, sneaking some more of dat from de store sounds like a great idea," Gilbert retorted, mouth snapping shut as abuela entered the room with food. Antonio got up to help her with it. They both waited until she had let them be before continuing their conversation.
"I don't think so."
"I could be drinking legally now if I still vas in Germany," Gilbert snorted, picking up his fork. "Or if Miss Väinämöinen wasn't so stingy."
"You could be smoking too~" Antonio mentioned with a slight smile, resting his head in his hand. Gilbert pulled a face.
"You joking? Dat is disgusting."
Antonio supposed drinking was definitely nothing to compare with smoking, but frankly he did not understand the appeal of either of it. It just had not tasted that good. Francis assured him it was the brand. Antonio did not get it.
Not that he missed too much... right?
"I thought you would be telling me to study for exams or whatever," Lovino mentioned, burying his hands deep into his pockets on a rather brisk May morning.
"But I have been doing that~!" Antonio responded cheerily. "We both need a break from classwork... what would be wrong with a break?"
"Are you even going to graduate?" Lovino grumbled. Antonio decided to smile and not reply to that question, knowing that Lovino was simply trying to cover his pleasure that he was not having to study. Even though Antonio could have hoped for a warmer day than this. He hated the cold. Still, today was today and they were going to enjoy it whether slightly cold or not!
"There's nothing to do here."
"There's plenty to do here~"
"Nothing interesting."
"Want to go down to the stream?"
"I don't want to go into the woods, dammit!"
"Lovi~ I don't think it is as much of a question of there being nothing to do rather than the fact you don't want to do anything! Ha ha~!"
"Hmph!"
Today, however, Antonio finally managed to get Lovino do some people watching with him at the corner of Mister Vargas' restaurant. Lovino complained, but he obviously did not mind too much. Why he did not mind this as opposed to anything else Antonio had suggested today was beyond him. Probably because it did not require moving. Lovino could be very lazy. Not that Antonio minded, he could be lazy too! But... not so much, maybe.
"Ah! What the hell are you doing, Feliciano?"
"Lovino~! Ludwig just got me some ice cream, do you–"
"It's probably disgusting!" Lovino scoffed, getting up and striding over anyway, though whether it was to get his own piece or to take all of it from his brother under the pretense that it was no good from him Antonio was about to see. Antonio saw Ludwig, who had been about to turn a corner and join Feliciano, stop and appear to wait the situation out.
"Funny little bruder... right?" Gilbert said, climbing on the wall with him and sitting next to him. Antonio nodded, but glanced over to Gilbert. Despite his words, he did not sound too amused.
"What's up?" he asked. Gilbert scooted closer.
"Someding's vrong vith Francis. I don't know... someding is vrong."
"Is he sick?" Antonio asked, concern washing over him quickly.
"Not dat sort of vrong... Like he's in trouble... sort of a vrong."
"If he was in trouble he'd tell us!" Antonio laughed, patting Gilbert on the shoulder. Gilbert hesitated then scowled.
"You sure?"
"Of course!" How could Gilbert even suggest such a thing? Of course Francis would tell them. What were friends for?
"I... you're right. Maybe he's just ofer-stressing himself. Maybe I'm ofer doing it. I can't vait for exams to be ofer."
"You'll do well," Antonio dropped off of the fence to break up the bickering brothers. "If it's no good... I'll get you some ice cream, Lovi!"
"The hell you will, bastard! It's too cold for ice cream!"
"We could go inside and watch a movie."
"I don't want to watch a movie!"
"What do you want to do?" Lovino stared up at him, scowled, looked down, and walked off. Antonio smiled at Feliciano. "Enjoy your ice cream!"
"I will! Ludwig? Ludwig, where'd you go?"
"He's ofer dere," Gilbert was pointing out to Feliciano.
Antonio took up an easy stride to catch up with Lovino. Glancing down at his face, it was flushed a bit more than just from the cold. "You're so cute~" he exclaimed, hugging the boy. "Just like a little–"
"–don't finish that sentence!"
"–tomato!"
Lovino struggled out of his grip and walked faster, though Antonio simply caught up. "It's creepy to be compared to a food item, you know!" Lovino shot back at him, huddling deeper into his coat.
Antonio blinked a couple times, thinking about it. "Why's that?" he asked as Lovino walked up to his back door and stopped. He turned around (if possible, redder than before) and stared at him.
"B-because!" Lovino squeaked. Antonio laughed, patting him on the head as he got his hand batted away. "People eat food! I don't..."
"Oh Lovi... you don't have to worry about me eating you!" Antonio assured him. Lovino's reaction to that was another surprise. He was expecting to be insulted, or scoffed at, or shrugged off...
Lovino.
The boy stared at him as if Antonio had insulted him so well that there was no defense to put up for it. Antonio frowned, leaning over to look into his eyes. "Not that you aren't cute! I just meant–"
Lovino kissed him. Antonio's mind went blank as he tried to remember what it was he had been saying. Lovino's lips were pressed against his and he could feel the heat of the other's blush almost as if they were pressed closer. Antonio's hand lay flat on Lovino's back as he opened his mouth, letting his tongue meet very pliant lips and–
Wait. What was he doing? What had just happened? Lovino was fourteen!
Antonio pulled back, nearly tripping over his feet as he retreated a few steps. Lovino's eyes widened and if Antonio had been slightly more blank he probably would have run into the house. But Antonio could not let him do that. Something had just happened and he could not let Lovino run away. Plus, if Mister Vargas was in there...
What have I done?
"Lovino, Lovino!" He grabbed him by the arm as Lovino once again tried to fight him off.
"Lovino nothing! Let me go! Nothing happened!" Lovino shouted at him, eyes shut tightly. Antonio was trembling and he knew it, but tried to keep his hold steady nonetheless.
"No, Lovino, por favor... Don't go, I..." He what? What? Antonio did not know what to say he did not know what just happened! Well, he did know what just happened. Lovino kissed him, that was what had happened. And he had kissed him back, as if it were nothing.
Nothing? As if it was normal!
"What?" Lovino asked. Antonio wondered why it was that every time Lovino looked up at him like that it made him think he had just hurt him terribly. He hated it when Lovino looked like that, whether Antonio himself had been the cause or not.
Antonio kissed him. Bad idea, bad idea! Lovino flung his arms instantly around his neck. What are you doing Antonio? Lovino opened his mouth first this time. He's fourteen! Antonio let him.
This should feel wrong... shouldn't it?
Antonio pulled back, letting go of Lovino's arm. Lovino fidgeted in place, looking down at the ground now.
Damage control! And fast, Francis' voice came to mind. Antonio agreed vehemently.
Make sure he doesn't talk, Gilbert's response was. Antonio made certain to discard that thought.
I cannot abandon him... I don't want to. And Antonio was terrified that Lovino would misconstrue whatever he was to say next as abandonment.
Dropping to his knees, he grasped Lovino's hand, pressing his lips against it. "I will wait for you. I will wait forever for you. I promise. Oh Lovi, Lovi... let me wait for you."
Whatever Lovino had been expecting to hear next, that obviously was not it. "'Wait'?" Lovino demanded, pulling his hand away. "What the fuck do you mean 'wait'?"
Don't do this to me... No, no. He's already done this to me. When did this happen?
Antonio made himself smile, even if just a little bit. "I mean... if you feel the same when you're older... I'll be here. I will. But right now Lovino–"
"You're saying I'm too young to know what I want?" Lovino's voice rose and Antonio knew that trying to quieten would simply make him louder, so he did not even try.
"I'm saying I'm too old."
"Wha... You are four years older than me! What do you mean old?"
"Lovino, don't argue this with me," Antonio pled. "If it's the only thing I ask of you, it's to make me wait."
Lovino did not respond immediately and Antonio found himself with nothing else to say to fill the silence. "Whatever," Lovino huffed, turning and entering his house, slamming the door behind him. Leaving Antonio outside in the cold.
"Let me wait... make me wait..." Antonio repeated quietly to no one. What was he even asking? Where had this come from?
Oh my God... it's like Francis said. There was a closer target. I'm the closer target.
Antonio could not believe the words that came to mind, even though he knew with no doubts that they were absolutely right.
I'm in love with Lovino.
When had that happened?
"Grandmother... may I ask you something?"
She patted at the side of her bed and Antonio walked to her side, kneeling down on the floor and resting his arms on the quilt. He took her hand in his hands, looking down at her weak grip on him.
He had never thought about any of this. Was that a good thing, or a bad thing? Was what he was doing now wrong, or right? Would people think of him kindly, or cruelly?
First, he asked the question he was certain he already knew the answer to. "Would you love me if I fell in love with a man?"
"You know the answer to this," she smiled at him. "I love you, no matter who you love. I love you for loving. I am happy to know you are in love."
The fact she seemed to find no question in this kept Antonio from continuing the conversation hypothetically. "What if... he is much younger than myself?"
She laughed, the quiet sound still happy, still full of all the life he had ever known her to possess. "There is nothing wrong with love. There is never anything wrong with love. It is what people do, using love as an excuse, which is wrong. The same is done with religion," her hand came up and caught the rosary around his neck. "Good things are used as excuses for evils. There is nothing wrong with love."
He loved Lovino. There was nothing wrong with that. So... had he done the right thing?
"Promise me. You shall never be ashamed of love."
"I promise." It was a promise he knew he could keep, hearing the words from her like this. If that was love, the very definition of it not amounting to the actions, then he could very well say he would never be ashamed of love.
"You are a good man, Antonio. Lovino's good has surfaced so fast. He is lucky to have your love."
Antonio's face broke into a smile before he could even think. Of course she knew, of course.
"Do what you know is good. Hold to it and he will understand it as well."
And though the next day Lovino refused to see him, Antonio did not feel the worry he had previously about it. And when he did see him, Antonio smiled and Lovino scoffed and it was like nothing had changed.
Except it had and the both of them knew it.
Summer had such a promising start. The warmth. The freedom, if just for a little longer. Antonio was not certain where he was going from here, but he was certain it would be here and he was certain he would know soon.
It was the sight of Erin, ten steps away from the porch and sobbing, which ruined it.
The sound of Roy's voice from inside of the house, booming out his words.
"Tha' blasted villan! Ai'll kill 'im. Kill 'im! 'ow dare he! Tha's my brother, my brother! Wha' could'a gone through Arthur's dim 'ead? Wha'? Why?"
Brian coming out to take Erin back inside. Absolutely silent other than the few words which assigned him as the leader of a search party.
And Gilbert banging at the door of an empty house with Elizaveta trying to restrain him.
"You can't hafe gone, you can't! You vould hafe told me! You vould hafe told me!"
Antonio stood there, empty.
Francis was gone. Francis and Arthur were gone. Without a word, without a sign, without anything. Had there been signs of this? How had he missed them?
Overnight the two of them had completely vanished.
"When you grow up," Antonio told Lovino, "I'll go anywhere with you."
He broke down then, unable to stop himself. Lovino's small arms were wrapped about him and Antonio could not stay standing, pressing his face into Lovino's shoulder, listening to muffled words being whispered into his ear as they sat in the middle of the road hearing the caterwaul of a broken German.
"I will go with you, idiot. I will go with you..."
Antonio sobbed.
"I don't know how busy your summer plans on being," Mister Vargas said to him upfront. "But I'd like to hire you for some summer work."
"Summer... work?" Antonio asked, confused.
"Lovino has gotten it into his head that he's going to forget everything by next year and demands that you make sure he doesn't," Mister Vargas continued. "Would it be too much to ask of you to do that?"
It made no sense, but Antonio was not one to argue about seeing Lovino. It would give him something to occupy his mind with. Free time was spent sitting in the garden he was not caring very well for, waiting for Gilbert to come back from the City which he had run off to for the second time in a month (always with the promise to come back, he had done so both times).
More time with Lovino would be welcomed, loved, would be–
"Of course not! Any time, Mister Vargas~" Antonio responded cheerfully.
Mister Vargas patted him on the shoulder, but then left his hand there. "Call me Marcus. We know each other well enough by now, I think. Antonio."
"Marcus," Antonio nodded.
Antonio would always remember that as the moment when he finally felt like an adult.
Tuesday.
"So you don't want to forget your history~?"
"Screw that, I'm bored of history."
"But you don't want to forget it over the summer...?"
"Any of it you–" Lovino cleared his throat. "I don't want to forget any of this shit over summer. Can we start with anything else other than stupid history?"
Antonio smiled, pulling out a science book. "I suppose~ But we'll have to get back to history eventually."
"There's a lot of things we'll have to get back to eventually," Lovino shot back, looking annoyed at him. Antonio simply smiled back until it crossed his mind what Lovino was talking about.
Ah.
"True, true!"
After a bit more arguing on Lovino's part, they finally began to work. Antonio dreaded the moment when Lovino wanted him to help with mathematics.
"...Antonio?"
"Mm hm? What is it, Lovi?"
"...I wanna check out your garden more. This summer. Do some stuff... maybe. No promises or anything! Don't even think– Stop smiling!"
Antonio had to stop himself from leaning over and kissing the boy, so instead he ruffled his hair. Was this really what the tutoring was about?
"You are welcome at any time."
Notes:
Writing from Antonio's POV has increasingly become one of my favourite things to do, which is why I never bothered to change back to Lovino's POV. I probably missed out on a lot because of that. Oh well. I think discovering about Lovino through Antonio's eyes is interesting.
It took Lovino one and a half years to finally see Marcus paying Antonio for the tutoring sessions? I am almost ashamed to have written that. Talk about blind. Not that Marcus would have ever intentionally done that in front of Lovino, for the very reason of which occurred here: Lovino taking it the wrong way. Still. One and a half years. Yikes.
Yes, Roy and warrant. He and Brian were actually in charge before Vash showed up and it was only from the kindness in Vash's heart did he keep them on to help him out. Actually, no it was not. He keeps them around because he knows they are capable of the job and he needs help, but mostly to keep an eye on them. That is another story in itself, the one where he and Heidi first show up in Hearth.
Marcus was actually impressed by Antonio's climbing of his house. On another note, he also made certain that the upper windows could be locked as well. He may like Antonio, but that does not mean he does not place his grandsons' safety first.
I just realized that it is a very good thing Lovino and Feliciano were raised on more than just the Italian language. You know how much more difficult things would have been for Lovino otherwise? He would never have bothered to learn anything else. Thank goodness for small mercies.
The next one shot of which I am almost finished with happens during this same period of time and is what happened to cause Francis and Arthur to run away. I hope to have that one polished up within the next week, so keep an eye open for it!