Disclaimer: I do not own Hollyoaks or it's characters. Hiya! Thanks for reading, please comment and enjoy...! (By the way, this is immediately continued from the previous chapter)

Ste

"How...nice." He said, though it sounded like he thought it was anything but nice.

"Whatever Brendan. I don't even know why I'm telling you any of this. It's none of your buisness."

"I get that Alex is your mate. You want to help 'im out. But, drugs?" He looked at me like I was insane. "Seriously?"

"Look who's talking." I said, indignantly, "If the police knew half of what I know about you, you'd get sent down for years."

"Yeah, but they don't know anything and you're not gonna tell them." Brendan replied confidently.

"And you're not gonna tell the police anything 'bout me or Alex."

"You sure?" He taunted.

"Yeah. And, anyway, I can't help 'im out. I don't know anyone who still does it. Well, apart from you but Alex ain't going anywhere near you." I sighed, knowing I couldn't help my friend.

"And why wouldn't he come anywhere near me?" He smirked.

"Because I told him not to. You'll just get him in trouble."

"I can be very...persuasive." He grinned. He was so smug, so annoyingly sure of himself.

I glared at him, "Get over yourself Brendan. You think you're so irrisistable. Well, you're not."

"That's not what you said before. There must be something about me that keeps bringing you back, I mean, you could never really stay away could you?"

"You were one of the biggest mistakes of my life and I'm never going back." I growled, "Now I'm gonna go, see you around. Or not, if you finally take the hint and leave me alone."

I got up and walked away. I had to. He was so infuriating; everything about him infuriated me. However, what really wound me up was the fact that my feelings towards him hadn't changed. Surely, after everything we'd been through, I shouldn't still care about him. But maybe that was the problem; we'd been through so much together and that's gotta create some sort of bond. I knew a part of me hated him because of everything he'd done; another part of me feared him because he was capable of hurting me so much - physically and emotionally; another part of me pitied him because he was so messed up, he hated himself so much; but another part of me, a big part, loved him. And it was that part that had driven me back to him time and time again. But now I was finally pulling myself together - I had to. All the lies, all the pain, all the games - being with Brendan was killing me. But being without Brendan was killing me. Everytime I was around him I was conflicted. I wanted him, yet I didn't want him. I loved him, yet I hated him. I was so confused, I was such a mess. But I wasn't going to tell Brendan that. No, he already thought I belonged to him. He thought he owned me but he didn't.

I needed to get my life back on track; not just for me, but for Amy and the kids as well. Maybe, in the past, I could've threw my life away on a chance, a tiny, one-in-a-million chance, that Brendan could change. But I couldn't now. I couldn't be selfish; all my life, all I'd ever done was think of number one. Well, it was time to put others first. Besides, I didn't want to be like this. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. What had Brendan fucking Brady reduced me to? I wasn't some trembling, feeble, pitiful cry-baby but it's how I acted in front of him. I mean, what the Hell? When I was a kid and Terry used to beat me up, I promised myself I would never, under any circumstances, play the victim again. Yet there I was, letting Brendan punch me and then running back to him afterwards. What was wrong with me? I hadn't even tried to defend myself; well, not much. I remember when I hit him over the head and landed him in hospital. I thought that would show him that I wasn't going to let him mess me around. Wrong.

My phone rang, interupting my thoughts. I looked at the caller ID. Alex. Well, I was going to call him anyway.

"Hi Alex."

"Hiya Ste. Look, I need to talk to you."

"Wait." I interupted, "Me first. That thing I was helping you with. I can't. I've tried everything but I can't do it. I'm so-"

"Ste." It was his turn to interupt, "It's okay. I called to tell you I didn't need your help anymore. I inherited some money from my grandad. I payed the guy I owed and he got sent down so I know he won't be bothering me again."

"Sent down for what?" I asked, curious.

"Ironically, drug dealing." He laughed, "Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come out with me. You know, to celebrate."

"Erm, yeah. Sounds good." I replied.

"How 'bout tonight?" He suggested.

"I'll have to check with Amy but it'll probably be okay."

"Right. Great. See ya later then."

"See ya." I cut off the call.

It looked as though I had plans. I made my way home to see Amy and the kids.

Rachey Ayy xx