CHAPTER 13: Morons

APOV

I had told my mom what was going on tonight. I couldn't contain my excitement about it. That, and she'd find it a little strange when Jasper turned up to see me and not Edward. She was a little bit concerned that I was going out with him, clearly his reputation was a little more wide spread that the school yard, however she told me she trusted my judgement. Deep down I was pretty sure that if Jasper did anything to hurt me Esme would cut his balls off.

For the first time in my life I didn't know what to wear. I mean, what do you put on for a dream date with a guy you've known your whole life, who you've lusted over since grade school, and who has shagged half the girls in Forks. Provocative just wasn't going to get me what I wanted tonight. That's what every other girl wanted. But not me. I didn't want to get into Jasper's pants, and I certainly didn't want him to get into mine. Well, not tonight anyway. I wanted more than one night. I wanted this to go somewhere. I wanted time.

So I put jeans on, with a silky camisole top with the most amazing pintuck detailing sewn into it. It was a soft pink. Demure, without being prissy. I put a hair band in my hair that was cute. Flirty cute, not baby cute. And pale pink lip gloss. I put on a fitted black jacket and a pair of shiny kitten heels to go with it. I was comfortable, not over the top, but dressy in an understated way.

I don't think this is what Jasper was used to. And that was a good thing. I think.

Jasper was right on time. Edward was very conveniently gone by the time Jasper was due to pick me up. I watched from by bedroom window as he pulled up in his mom's car. I listened for my mom to answer the door and then I calmly walked down the stairs. Jasper just stared at me as I walked down. I don't know why, he'd seen me a thousand times before. He was dressed in jeans and this shirt with the sleeves rolled up so I could see his well defined arms, and this quirky tie that was done up loosely. I'd never seen him in a tie for anything other than really formal occasions like weddings so this was new.

"Hi Ali." He smiled at me. Genuinely smiled. Not a smirk or a leer or anything like that, a genuine warm smile that made me feel like he was really happy to see me. And he was here to take me on a date. It made me feel giddy and I was thankful I wasn't wearing three inch heels.

"Jasper."

Mom had made herself scarce, thank god.

"Are you ready to go? You look really beautiful by the way."

I think I might have blushed.

"Yeah, let's go."

Jasper held out his arm for me to take, it was really sweet, and very chivalrous. There must have been something about his southern heritage that had rubbed off. Jasper escorted me to the car, opening the door for me and closing it behind me. I could get used to this. I wouldn't have expected treatment like this from any of the other boys in Forks.

We chatted a little on the way to Port Angeles about school mostly. We pulled up outside a little seafood place that I hadn't been to before that was right on the water. Jasper parked and did the gentlemanly thing opening my door for me and escorting me inside the quaint little restaurant. It was filled with kitsch ornaments from the sea, but somehow it seemed perfect for Jasper.

When we were seated at our booth I just wanted to ask him what we were doing here. How did this happen and what did he want from me, what did he want after this? But we just continued chatting about inconsequential crap.

All through dinner Jasper kept fidgeting in his chair, he looked uncomfortable or nervous or something. It was as if he had ants in his pants. As we left the restaurant he was still fidgeting. I reached out and placed my hand on his bare forearm.

"Jazz. What's wrong? You seem all uncomfortable or something?" I asked before we made it to his car.

He looked down at me with those beautiful blue eyes. "I'm sorry Ali. I'm just....I don't know." If he wasn't going to be the brave one I would be.

"Am I making you nervous?"

"Kinda."

"It's just me Jasper." He looked down nervously at his feet and then back up at me, his hands playing with the car keys in his hands.

"Precisely Ali."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? My heart was beating like a freight train, I was sure the people walking past could probably hear it. What if he didn't want this? What if he only asked me out on a date because he was in bed with his arms wrapped around me? What if now that he had me here he didn't see it going anywhere. Or worse still what if he only saw it going as far as the back of his car for one night only. I walked down the footpath a little to the wharf and looked out across the water, not able to look at him while he gave me the words that would only break my heart. I had to take a few deep breaths before I continued this conversation, the cold night air refreshing my lungs. Be brave Alice.

Jasper walked up next to me and leaned on the railing.

"Jasper, why am I making you nervous? You've known me my whole life." But then again he made you nervous as all get out.

He took a deep breath and then looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't say it. He just stood there as if he needed to contemplate his words a little longer. Here is comes Alice. "That's just the point Ali. We've known each other our whole lives. I know you so well, at least I think I do. I know that you don't like thunder storms, and that you hate custard, and that you sing in the shower. I know that your favorite color is pink. I know that you're a lot lot smarter than anyone ever gives you credit for and that you're still hurt over what happened with Jessica and Lauren. I know who you respect at school and who you don't, I know your favorite subjects, and I know that you got that scar on your left knee when you fell over down by the creek and split it open on a rock because I carried you back to the house. I know what your face looks like when you're all different kinds of happy and when you're sad and frustrated and pissed off and surprised. I know all of this because I've watched you my whole life, I've paid attention. And I could keep watching you forever. But I don't think I can keep doing it from the sidelines anymore Ali."

I think I started to cry. You're not supposed to cry on a date Alice. It's not a good start.

"Ali, why are you crying?" Jasper had turned to me some time during his speech, he raised his hand and wiped away the tear that had fallen with his thumb. His hand cupped my cold cheek.

"I didn't know you knew all of that stuff about me Jasper. I didn't think you noticed me."

"How could I not notice you?"

"Because you were always paying the other girls the attention. Never me."

He had a pained expression on his face. His eyes dropping to the ground again. He looked ashamed.

"I'm so sorry Ali. I never thought I had a chance with you."

"What do you mean?"

"I never thought you and I could be together. I was just blowing off steam."

I still didn't understand.

"Ali, those girls. None of them meant anything to me. They've never meant anything to me because I knew I couldn't have the one girl that I've always wanted. I was so stupid. And now I've gone and lost you to someone else. I'm so sorry I never told you any of this sooner."

"What do you mean you've lost me to someone else?"

"Bella said that you really liked someone."

"There's no one else Jasper."

He looked at me for a few moments thinking about what I'd said. I didn't deny that there wasn't someone that I really liked. I think I confirmed in a roundabout kind of way that I really liked him. I just wasn't sure whether he'd pick up on it or not. "There's never been anyone else."

"Do you mean....?" His eyes were searching mine for the answer. I simply nodded my head.

"Yes Jasper." Silly boy.

I wanted to kiss him. Desperately. But I was pretty sure that if I started I wouldn't stop. And it was too cold to keep standing out here. And I had made a promise to myself earlier that if things should go well I wasn't going to fall straight into his arms. But standing here now, his hands cupping my face, his thumbs gently caressing my cheeks, his breath on my face, I couldn't help but lift up onto my tip toes as his head slowly descended. The look in his eyes was unlike anything I'd seen, it was full of adoration, there wasn't a smile on his mouth but I could see the joy in his eyes just before they fluttered closed and his beautiful lips pressed against mine. I felt him sigh as our lips touched.

EPOV

I was in hell. Again. But this time there was no heaven to help balance it out like there had been last night as I was sitting at Bella's bedside. I flat out didn't want to be here. Jessica's birthday dinner party was going to be excruciating. And Jasper the asshole had somehow gotten himself out of it in the last 24 hours. I'm sure Jess was in a spin over the fact that she'd now need to rearrange the entire table around the fact that the most eligible single male was no longer coming. Lauren would be devastated, but I'm sure Jasper wasn't coming just so he could avoid her.

I had had a long day. I was in trouble with Jess for not calling until well after lunch to wish her a happy birthday. Alice was so hyperactive all day it was just painful, but she gave me a piece of news that should have made my day. And had I not had to go through this dinner party it would have made my day. She'd pulled me aside smirking at me earlier in the afternoon in the kitchen at home.

"Edward. I know something you don't know. Actually I know a few things you don't know."

"Alice I'm too tired for this shit. What is it?"

"What's got your knickers in a twist today emo boy?"

"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night pixie girl."

"Thinking about a certain someone sleeping just down the hall way from you?" I just rolled my eyes at her. "Well, it just so happens that my news is about that particular person....."

"Alice." I was getting pissed off now.

".....and James."

"Fuck, Alice, do you think I really want to hear about her boyfriend?" It made me want to vomit every time his name was brought up.

"Oh, my lovely, lovely brother you're so going to want to hear this piece of news."

Please they've broken up. Please just say it, I'm begging you.

"I can tell what you're thinking. They haven't broken up. Although they have just had a fight."

"What?"

"They just had a fight, but I'll tell you about that in a minute, it's not the good bit. Well, it is good, it's great, but it's not the best bit..."

"Alice, just tell me."

"Hey, don't be mean to me. I have information you'll be interested in."

"Just spill it Alice."

"Bella and James haven't slept together since they got back together."

"Why is that good?"

"Fucking hell Edward, how much of a moron are you?" Apparently a big one?

"What's your point Alice?"

"It means you're the last person she slept with." Oh.

OH!

"You don't know that?" Do you? Please say you do. "There could have been someone else when she went back to Phoenix?"

"Well, that brings me to my second bit of good news. Bella and James had a massive fight this morning."

"Do I want to know about what?"

"Well, given that you were the subject of it, I'm guessing you'd want to know about it." Alice looked like the cat that ate the fucking canary. "Apparently James started asking questions about all of the new friends Bella all of a sudden has and she inadvertently indicated she may have reason to be guilty of something, which she argued she didn't, but when he asked her if she'd been with anyone while they weren't together she told him about you. She didn't mention anyone else. So I'm guessing you're the only person she's been with in quite....some....time." She slowed down as if driving that last point home to me.

"Thanks Alice." I turned and walked away from her. I didn't want to process this information in front of her. I knew I should be really fucking happy. But it made me angry for some reason. Angry that I was in this situation with Jess, angry that she was back with James.

But as I sat at the dinner table at Jess' it was the only thing I could think about. I was the last person Bella had slept with. The last person Bella had made love to. Because we had. Despite the very brief time that we'd known each other at the time it was perfect. When I kissed her she'd taken my breath away. No other girl had done that. Kisses before that, and since if I'm being honest, had only ever been slightly awkward, wet, exchanges of....exchanges of what? I don't know? Affection. But the first time I kissed Bella just felt so right. It felt like she was meant for me. She'd been perfect, but then she shut down any thought of us having further contact. She mustn't have felt the same way I did. She can't have felt the same thing I did. Otherwise she would have wanted to stay in touch, wouldn't she?

"Edward?"

"Edward?" I felt a hand make its way up my thigh.

"Sorry?" I looked at Jess who I was seated next to in the middle of the table. "I was a million miles away." Her hand kept making its way up my thigh until she had it over my crotch. She smiled up at me realising I was hard. Not realising I was hard because I was thinking of another girl. She leaned across, turning her head so her mouth was at my ear.

"I can't wait to get my real present from you later." I felt her tongue dart out briefly and lick my ear lobe before she pulled away from me. I tried not to visibly cringe. I had to find a way out of staying with her tonight. If I couldn't do that I had to find a way not to sleep with her. Now that I knew Bella hadn't slept with anyone since we'd been together I felt guilty, like I was cheating on her. Perhaps I could get Jess really hammered so she passed out. That was really irresponsible Cullen. You think?

God I was awful. Jess was my girlfriend and I felt that being with her was cheating on Bella.

After dinner Jess opened all of her presents. She'd opened mine earlier thank god. Alice had helped me pick out a small handbag for her. It had cost me a fortune. But I figured it was suitably impersonal, although it would last a life time. I wasn't sure if I really wanted Jess to have a reminder of me after what I had planned the day after Valentine's day. At least it wasn't jewellery, I'd been quite specific with Alice that it couldn't be jewellery. Jess loved the handbag, it was Coach or some brand I'd never heard of. Alice said that despite how much she disliked my girlfriend she wasn't going to let me give her a cheap and nasty gift. Then she told be she'd got it on sale and it was last season anyway but she was sure Jess wouldn't know the difference. Whatever.

Someone had the very bright idea of bringing out shots, this should make my job easier. But instead of getting Jess hammered I'd decided to get myself hammered. Less guilt involved with that. So I proceeded to get as drunk as physically possible.

Then next thing I remembered was waking up on the lounge. I don't know what time it was, clearly it was the next day because there was far too much fucking light coming in through the windows for it to still be night. And Jess was standing above me, her hands on her hips and she wasn't wearing the little dress she had on the night before. She was in jeans and a sweater. A very tight sweater. Stop ogling your girlfriend. Why, she's my girlfriend. Yeah, not for much longer jerkward so stop leading her on.

"Ugh, I feel like a swallowed a camel."

"Yeah, you look like it too."

"Not now Jess."

She sat on the couch with me, her hands running up and down my chest. Whenever I went into defensive mode she turned all soft and seductive.

"I missed you last night Eddie." She pouted and I actually felt bad. I'd ruined her birthday. Well, I hadn't ruined her birthday, I'd just ruined her plans to get into my pants.....I think. I probably wouldn't have remembered anyway, but based on the sad look on her face we definitely didn't have sex last night. "So, do you want to go upstairs now? Mom and Dad won't be home for a few hours." Jess' hands were now making their way up under my shirt. It felt good. Ugh, I had to stop this now before it went too much further.

"Jess. I really don't feel up for anything right now. Let's just finish cleaning up and I'm going to head home." Hmmm, perhaps I should be a bit of a prick to her. Ease her into it rather than just springing it on her next week.

"We've already done all of the cleaning up Edward." Seems I'd already started being a prick.

"OK, I'm just going to head home then." I stood up and straightened out my clothes a bit. I bent down and went to give Jess a quick goodbye kiss but she turned her head to the side so I got a cheek.

"Ugh, Edward, please, don't make me kiss you when you've been drinking all night and haven't brushed your teeth."

"Sorry Jess. I'll see you later then." I checked my pockets to make sure I had everything. Yep, really must have passed out good and proper if I'd left my wallet, keys and cell in my pockets. I turned for the door and left. Fuck I'm a prick!

The next few days were strange.

Very strange.

Alice was acting like a fire cracker had been lit under her ass. She was super hyper, and she would talk a mile a minute. I couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with her, but it was annoying as all shit. We would normally have to drag her kicking and screaming on our annual camping trip in a few weeks time, but she was already talking about it. And it was barely February. What the fuck was with that?

Then there was Jasper. I couldn't quite figure out what was going on with him. He'd dropped out of Jess' dinner party on Saturday night at the last minute. I'd assumed it was because he was avoiding Lauren, but he was definitely keeping something from me. And it was something he was exceedingly excited about. Jasper only ever got excited when there was a girl involved, typically some unworthy skank. But I'd never seen him behave in this way before.

And then there was Bella. I had already kind of decided in my head that Jess and I were no longer together. This resulted in me subtly starting to pursue Bella. Screw that her boyfriend was coming to visit this weekend. I had a very small window of opportunity before his arrival to make sure Bella knew that I wanted her, despite the situation we were both in. I had no clue as to whether this would work or not, but I had to take a shot.

Bella continually gave me strange looks when I'd talk to her. I really must have done a number on her when she had returned to Forks. I think she was a little confused as to why I was all of a sudden being super friendly. Clearly she still felt a little uncomfortable and didn't quite trust me. I had been a prick to her, but now I was making up for lost time, doing typical teenage shit. Pulling her hair, poking her side when we were sitting next to each other, writing notes to her when we were sitting in class asking question after question about things I didn't know about her. Stupid inconsequential stuff, but important to me. Hopefully I was making up for all the shit I'd put on her in the last few weeks. It was kind of like a cloud had lifted from my brain and I was finally able to allow myself to flirt with her.

Then there were the serious conversations. We spent a little time each day talking about her Mom. I'd ask her if she'd thought of anything new and then she'd proceed to tell me. They were always happy things. Nice memories, never anything about the accident, never anything dark and never anything about what happened in her sleep. I desperately wanted to ask her about dreams. But I didn't dare. Instead, on Thursday afternoon I gave her a book about grieving. I earmarked the chapter that covered nightmares.

A/N: So....guess what? You guys will get another update on Sunday, just in time for Valentine's Day....hmmmm, I wonder what that could mean???