A/N: Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Two in three days...aren't you lucky!

Chapter 14: That Night

BPOV

"Edward?" I caught up to him as we were on our way to Biology on Friday afternoon. He turned around and smiled down at me. I think I blushed. I think I'd been doing a lot of that this week. That smile of his had the ability to bring me to my knees, and create a whirlwind of butterflies in my tummy. And cue the guilt.

He cocked his head to the side, "What's up Bella?"

I inhaled deeply. I wanted to acknowledge the book he had given me. I hadn't actually read any of it last night. I just stared blankly at the cover and then skimmed through the contents, vaguely recognising topics that may pertain to what I was going through. There was a page turned down and I flipped to that page, briefly noting a chapter on sleeping, noting nightmares was listed as the first topic. I wondered if Edward had had nightmares too. It was obviously his book, it was well worn. I had slammed it shut and placed it on my bedside table and stared at it some more before going to bed.

I didn't want to start a serious conversation with Edward about it, so I chose now to bring it up, knowing that we only had a short amount of time before Banner came into class.

"I just wanted to say thanks for the book. I..um....I appreciate it. I haven't actually read any of it yet, but yeah...that's all I wanted to say...I think." I licked my lips nervously pulling my bottom lip into my mouth, catching it with my top teeth. Edward reached forward taking my chin in his hand and pulled my bottom lip from my mouth before pulling his hand back and running it through his hair.

"That's okay." He looked down, a flash of disappointment momentarily stripping his face of the radiance I had become accustomed to this week. "I, I didn't expect you to read it straight away. You've just got to do all of this in your own time. But there's a chapter I earmarked for you. I think you should take a look at it."

Huh? Why did he think that chapter would interest me? I mean it did. But how did he know?

We were in the classroom now, just about to sit down. Edward actually pulled my chair out for me before sitting down by my side. He pulled out the pad of paper we'd been writing on all week, folding back the top sheets so there was a fresh sheet of paper on top. He propped his left elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand tiliting his head towards me.

"I think we need to get rid of the rules today," he said quietly. The wicked smirk on his face was making the butterflies flit around happily. But I was a bit worried what getting rid of our unspoken 'rules' might mean.

I laughed a little at him. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

"What have you got to hide Bella?"

I bit down on my bottom lip again. I wasn't sure I had anything to hide, but I wasn't sure Edward was the one I wanted to share my deepest darkest secrets with. Especially given that he was one of them.

"A girl's always got to have some secrets."

Edward smirked at me again, his eyes twinkling as he picked up his pen and commenced writing. We'd been doing this all week. Edward had been asking me random stuff as we sat in Biology, starting with my favourite color (green), have I ever been bitten by a bee (twice), what was my least favourite food (meatloaf), and other random completely innocuous stuff. It had all been completely polite, and stayed that way after I told him I wasn't going to answer his questions about the first porn movie I watched (can't remember what it was called, but it was more funny than erotic...and we'll just leave it at that).

He finished writing his first question and I looked down just as Banner came into the room.

Have you ever kissed a girl?

I laughed lightly at his question. Typical fucking male.

What would you do if I say yes?

I smirked up at him. Two could play at this game.

You don't want to know the answer to that question Swan

He pushed the pad of paper back to me.

Who's got something to hide now? I wrote in reply.

Touché. OK, I'll take that as a yes. Your turn.

Oh, that little......

I have never kissed a girl. I'm not like your sister!

That's low Swan. Your turn.

I thought about my question. I was crap at this stuff and I wasn't quite sure I really wanted to know the answer to all of the questions I had for him. Why were you such an asshole to me? How many girls have you slept with since we were together? Is Alice right when she says you're with Jessica because she looks like me?

OK, I'll get a partial answer to one of those questions. I looked around the room and then looked at him and smirked evilly at him. He was going to pay for that last question.

How many girls in this room have you slept with?

I pushed the pad of paper towards him arching an eyebrow at him as I did. His eyes flicked down and after reading the question his head whipped up to me so fast I thought it would go flying off. I laughed at him, but I was getting nervous. Did I really want to know the answer to that question? Oh shit. The more I thought about it the sicker I felt. I grabbed the pad of paper and scribbled over the top of my last question.

Shit.

Edward grabbed my hand and moved it away from the pad of paper and wrote an answer next to my now covered over question.

1

I looked around the room again, not wanting to let Edward see the smirk I couldn't contain. But I also wanted to get a good look at all the girls in this class. It made me feel better at least knowing who he hadn't slept with.

Banner distracted us for a while from our question time. But towards the end of class Edward pushed the pad of paper in my direction. I hadn't even noticed him writing on it. I looked down, inhaling quickly as I read the question that was sitting there on a fresh piece of paper.

When was the last time you had sex?

Holy fuck. I looked up at him in shock. I........ Shit. Do I really want to answer this question. I searched for something, anything in his beautiful green eyes, but they were blank. Without looking down I reached out and pulled the pad of paper across to me. I really wanted to correct his question....When was the last time you made love....

My hand was shaking as I wrote my one word reply.

August

I didn't take my eyes off his face as I pushed the pad of paper back to him. He was returning my stare as I did it, his eyes dropped. I couldn't quite make out his response, and truth be told I wasn't sure what I was expecting or even hoped to see. He simply looked back up into my eyes, his expression still blank. But the rise and fall of his chest gave him away. It was heavier now, much heavier. Before either one of us could write another word the bell rang, abruptly signalling an end to our conversation.

Edward picked up the pad of paper and tucked it into his bag and then gathered the rest of his stuff. All of a sudden there was an awkwardness between us.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow night then?" I asked as a way to try to break the tension, but somehow I think it probably made it worse. Our usual Friday night get together wasn't on due to the party tomorrow night and I realised that the next time I saw him I would be with James. For some reason that made my heart constrict, like it was being squeezed by a fist and I wasn't quite sure why. I wanted my friends to meet James. And Edward was my friend. Wasn't he? The way we'd been together this week would most certainly indicate that we were now on friendly terms. But I felt un easy about it all.

Edward looked down at me and mumbled something. "I guess........I've got to.....I've got to go." He looked nervous and I could see he was coiling back in on himself again. He was letting whatever had been bugging him in the first few weeks that I'd been here get to him again. "I'll um....yeah, I guess I'll see you tomorrow night." He didn't even look back up at me before he practically ran from the classroom. The guy was an emotional see-saw and I had difficulty figuring him out.

The rest of the day was a blur and before I knew it I was at home getting the house ready for my guest. Charlie appeared very apprehensive about meeting James for which I guess I couldn't really be too surprised. But I couldn't help but be a bit pissed off at his reluctance. While Charlie had come to Phoenix after the car accident he and James had never crossed paths other than at my mother's funeral and there was no need to introduce them then. But James was basically the one that helped me get back on my feet, so Charlie should at least be somewhat appreciative towards him.

Alice had seemed kind of excited about meeting James. I got the impression she was intrigued more than anything. To be honest she was excited about bloody everything this week. Her date with Jasper had gone "well". But she'd said it with a little twinkle in her eye. She hadn't given me a full run down of her night, just that they had kissed, a lot. But she was playing most of it quite close to her chest. It was obvious that she didn't yet trust that Jasper wouldn't break her heart. I could see she wanted to take it slow, and I understood her reasoning. And it appeared I was the only one who knew what was going on. At the lunch table I had seen small signs of flirtation between them that were switched off whenever Rose, Emmett or Edward were around. Just little things, like the way Alice would look up at him and smile shyly at him, her cheeks blushing as she did, and he would respond sweetly in return. He was wooing her, and it was lovely to watch. Alice deserved this, and I had faith that Jasper could do it and not fuck it up.

I went about making the house look as respectable as I could. James would probably look down his nose a little at it, he always liked things to be a bit more modern. He liked spending money on the latest things. Charlie and I were a little simpler in our needs. I'm sure he'd probably be impressed with the Cullen's house.

I stopped in my tracks suddenly as I was about to ascend the stairs. The realisation of what I'd just done hitting me like a pile of bricks. I'd just thought about my mother's funeral without breaking down and crying or getting upset or even thinking twice about it. I smiled inwardly to myself and kept on up the stairs. I must be doing something right. I would have to remember to thank Edward for it.

My cell phone rang on my desk and I picked it up, it was James.

"Hi there." I answered.

"Hey Bell, whatchadoing?"

"Well, just getting ready for your visit as a matter of fact."

"Oh good, so what have you got planned for us?"

"Well, when you get here in the morning I figured I'd show you around while Charlie is still at work. Then we're having lunch with him. He wants to meet you." I think James grumbled on the other end of the phone. "Then we're going to go to a party at Alice's place." I'm not sure why I didn't call it 'Alice & Edward's' place.

"What? We're going to a party?" James asked abruptly.

"Yeah, you'll get to meet all of my friends."

"Bella," James said accusingly, "I'm only coming up for two days, I don't want to go to a party, I just want to be with you. We're not going to a party."

"What do you mean we're not going?"

"Just what I said. I'm not flying all that way to spend time with people I'm only ever going to meet once and who are only going to be in your life for a short time."

"What do you mean they'll only be in my life for a short time?"

"Well sweetie," his tone softened, "you're going to be coming back to Phoenix when you start college. I assume you'll be back here for the Summer so you're only going to be hanging out with them for another four months or so. It's not like you're going to form lifelong friendships in that time." I thought about what he was saying. And I started getting angry. Very angry.

"How dare you tell me I'm only going to be friends with these people for a short time. You don't know that. You haven't even met any of them." James had always been on good terms with my friends back in Phoenix, I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't want to meet my new friends.

"Look Bella, I'm just saying, it's hardly long enough to form lasting attachments is it?"

"Of course it is." One night was enough to form a lasting attachment.

"Well, let's not fight about it. Let's talk about our plans for the weekend. So we're going to scrap the party idea...."

"No wait. I really want to go to the party."

"Why?" He was whining now.

"Because it's important to me. Alice is throwing it, and she's....I don't know I guess she's like my best friend or something." I really wanted to go the party and I knew that Alice would be so disappointed if I didn't go. She was so fragile sometimes that I didn't want to disappoint her. Since we'd become friends I'd seen her change. During the first days that I'd met her there were times when I could see her get so spooked by Jessica and Lauren, and she was completely dejected over Jasper. But I'd encouraged her to go after what she wanted. She deserved it, she was stronger and seemed more in control. And I think I had helped her with that. We'd spent a lot of time talking about what she should do about Jasper and I had noticed her become more determined and more willing to put her heart on the line. And it looked like it was paying off. And James knew all of this, we'd talked about it several times.

"I thought I was important to you babe?" James said softly.

"Of course you are James."

"Well it doesn't seem that way." I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. It was amazing that in the very short time I'd known Alice, and the others, I'd become very attached to them. They'd accepted me into their group so easily, we had so much fun together and they just made me feel so much better about everything. "Will he be there?"

"Who?"

"The guy you were with."

"James? Why are you even asking me this?" My heart was pounding as I spoke to James about Edward.

"Will....he....be.....there?" He asked threateningly.

"I have no idea. Probably," I replied defensively.

"Probably? So you talk to him? You know he's going?"

"It's a small town James, very small school. Only 350 students. There's a very good chance he'll be there, hell there's a good chance all the students will be there, lord knows they'd fit in the house. But don't worry, he has a girlfriend. A very good looking girlfriend."

"Well.....that's something I guess."

"Come on James, you'll have a great time," I pleaded.

"I can hardly see how hanging around with a bunch of high school kids could be classed as 'having a great time'."

"I'm a high school kid," I replied defensively. I wasn't going to let him get to me this time.

"You know what I mean."

"No I don't James. Look, I'm going to the party. You can stay at home with Charlie if you want or you can come with me."

"What the fuck Bella? I gave up months of my life helping you get back on your feet. Then you move away from me when I offer you a perfectly acceptable alternative. And now when I organise to come visit you turn around and tell me you'd rather hang out with your friends." A pang of guilt ripped through me. I could be so selfish some times. "I'm not staying home while you go out. If that's the way you're going to be about it I won't come at all." He hung up the phone on me. I tried to call him back several times but he didn't answer.

Shit. I felt guilty about demanding that we go to the party. James had given up so much of his time to help me through my rehabilitation after the accident. And he'd helped me deal with the emotions that consumed me due to the whole ordeal, helping me suppress them whenever they threatened to overwhelm me.

The more I thought about the party the more I felt angry at myself for wanting to go so badly. And now I felt guilty knowing that he was angry at me. After everything he did for me I had selfishly thrown a tantrum. There was a pang in my heart as I realised how disappointed my mother would be. She loved James and now I was letting him down.

I waited the next morning for him to show up. I sat on the front steps in the freezing cold feeling like a little girl who was being punished, atoning for what I had done wrong. But the longer I sat there realising that he wasn't coming the more my guilt turned to anger. James hadn't even booked his flight when I spoke to him earlier in the week. Was he looking for a way out of coming to visit me and was he making it appear as if it were my fault? I shook the thought away. James wasn't like that. Flights weren't cheap and he was in College. God, now I was feeling guilty for making him pay for a ticket and then not use it. There was just no end to it.

I tried calling James several times during the day. But he didn't answer.

Finally I just decided to get ready for the party and go. I'd have to face Edward and Jessica, but I think I could live with that. Just.

Given that it was Valentine's weekend the idea of the party was to make sure all of those who were single didn't feel dejected. And as such it was also apparently a massive pick up party. I wasn't really looking forward to going it alone. I could just imagine the debauchery.

I stepped into the strapless black dress Alice had leant me. It was fitted to the waist and then it flared out and stopped at my knee, it would have been mid calf on Alice. I wasn't into heels so I grabbed a pair of black Saturn ballet flats. I left my hair out, flowing down my back and sighed as I looked at my face in the mirror before applying a teensy bit of makeup. I couldn't help but compare myself to Jessica. She would look perfect I was sure, and I was scared that my pretty black dress would look dour in comparison to whatever get up she would have on tonight. I had over heard her talking to Lauren in English about what she was going to wear, she'd mentioned red Saturn and it sounded like there wasn't going to be a lot of it. I'm sure Edward would love it. I rolled my eyes at myself before leaving the bathroom.

I threw on my coat and made my way out of the house saying good night to Charlie as I went. He did not look at all disappointed (or surprised) when I told him James wasn't coming. But he did appreciate how pristine the house looked.

I hadn't told Alice that James had never turned up, so I made sure I arrived well and truly after the party was under way. The less attention I brought upon myself the better. As I walked through the front door I was immediately taken back to that night. Same faces, only they were much more familiar now. Unfortunately I still felt just as uncomfortable as I did that night, but for altogether different reasons. I needed to get myself to the bar as quickly as possible before Alice spotted me and gave me the third degree about why James wasn't with me.

I quickly made my way past all of the bodies that were dancing under the mirror ball that had been set up in the lounge room and found the kitchen. There was no one in there so I poured a shot of tequila quickly slamming it down and immediately regretted it. I found a bottle of that red vodka crap I liked, taking the top off it and then I went back outside and went looking for Angela, she wouldn't pry too much about James. She'd never expressed any desire to meet him, and I'm sure she wouldn't be disappointed we weren't together tonight. But as I walked back outside I found my eyes scanning the room automatically for the one person they shouldn't be, but they never found him. I could see Jasper, and Emmett & Rose, but no Edward. He was probably hauled up in a room somewhere with his girlfriend trying to suck his goddamn face off.

As I made my way over to where I spotted Angela talking to Ben I was cut off by Alice.

"Bella!!" She looked so happy. She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly, almost squeezing the life out of me. "I'm so glad you're finally here." I giggled at her exuberance, she was infectious when she was like this. She stepped back and looked around me her head whipping from one side to another searching for something. Or someone. "Where is he?"

Alice turned around and looked behind her, searching for an unfamiliar face but not finding one.

"He didn't end up making it."

"So what's he doing? Hanging at home with Charlie?" She asked incredulously.

"No no, we had a bit of a....thing. Anyway, he didn't end up leaving Phoenix,...I don't think." I said the last part under my breath. For all I know he could be in Seattle having a great time.

"Oh.....well.....are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Alice. I just want to have a good time." I smiled reassuringly down at her. "I can see you're already off to a good start."

She smiled bashfully. "Why wouldn't I be?"

I found Jasper across the room and noticed he was watching us from where he stood with Emmett and Rose. I lifted my bottle to him and he returned the gesture, both of us taking a drink. Alice flitted off and so I turned and started making my way over to him. I could see Lauren bearing down on him and she got there before I did. Shit. Oh well, I wasn't going to let the bitch get away with this so I continued towards Jasper and threw myself onto his lap and put my arm around his shoulder. "Hi Jazz....Oh hi Lauren, I didn't see you there." Jasper buried his head in my hair and laughed his head off. Lauren just huffed immaturely got up and walked away once she realised Jasper wasn't going to give her any attention.

"You're my saviour Bella." In more ways than one I thought to myself!

"Well, honestly Jasper. I don't even know why you went there in the first place."

"No neither do I."

"Well, I'm here to protect you from the dirty skanks while your 'little friend' is busy entertaining her guests."

Jasper just smiled shyly at me. Oh it was just too sweet. While Alice and I had spoken a little about their date Jasper and I hadn't spoken at all about it. But he obviously knew that I knew about it all.

"You look awesome tonight Bells, but where's the infamous James? I can't imagine many boyfriends would like to see you sitting in my lap like this. I'm practically molesting you."

"Yes, you right hand had better not get any closer to my ass." I giggled, before sighing. "It's a long story gone bad, but let's just say James didn't make it and we'll leave it at that. I don't want to talk about it tonight I just want to have a good time. Do you think you can help me?" I wanted to forget about James and I definitely wanted to forget about the possibility of seeing Jess in her red Saturn dress with her arms wrapped around Edward.

Jasper and I chatted with Rose and Emmett. We danced for a few songs. But I found it odd that I hadn't seen Edward at all. It was his party after all. But Jasper said he hadn't seen him either, mumbling something about Jess that I didn't quite hear.

As the night wore on I got more and more restless and annoyed that I hadn't seen Edward. People had started hooking up and Jasper would disappear every so often, I could only imagine to spend a little time 'bonding' with Alice. At least I hoped it was Alice.

I wandered upstairs, looking for a bit of peace and quiet. Keep telling yourself that Bella. This area was strictly off limits during parties at the Cullen's, but being part of the inner crowd I think I was probably safe to ignore that rule. Ascending the stairs afforded me a little peace from the music that was pounding. My music tastes hadn't rubbed off on Alice any since I'd arrived, but I had a few more months to work on it. I found myself walking down the hallway looking at all of the family pictures on the wall. Jasper and Emmett were in a lot of them. It was funny to look at all of these pictures of the four of them growing up together. Even then you could see Jasper looking at Alice in some of the pictures. It was hard to believe she'd never noticed the adoration in his eyes. Even as kids. As I continued down the hall I heard piano music drifting softly from one of the rooms I'd never been into. Odd given the pounding of the god awful music Alice was playing down stairs.

I pushed gently on the door that the music seemed to be coming from. Edward was there, his back to the door, sitting at a grand piano I didn't even know was in the house. I gasped at the sight of him, my heart skipping several beats. His fingers which had clearly been creating the beautiful sound halted their movement over the keys as he realised he was no longer alone. He looked back, the intrusion of the noise coming from the party must have alerted him to the presence of someone else in the room.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," I said softly as I noticed his body relax. I couldn't help but smile. I'd found him. Finally.

"You could never interrupt." I barely heard him utter the words.

I closed the door behind me and made my way slowly to the piano bench he was sitting on. His hands rubbed down the front of the dark blue jeans he was wearing.

I gestured to the small space at the end of the bench he was sitting on, "may I?" Edward moved to his left a little and looked down at the space created. He then looked back up into my eyes and nodded, smiling softly, warily.

"Where's Jessica tonight, I don't think I saw her downstairs?"

His brow furrowed as soon as I mentioned her name. He looked at the piano keys as he responded, "she had to leave town for a while. Her grandmother who she's apparently quite close to is really sick. They're not expecting her to last much longer so she's gone to Portland to be with her." Was he disappointed? He looked frustrated or something, running his fingers across the keys without actually pressing on them to elicit a sound. He then looked up at me, his eyes had turned blank, as if life had just left them. He must miss her. My stomach dropped at the thought.

"Have you left....James alone down there to fend for himself?"

"Oh..... He didn't end up coming." Edward inhaled quickly but didn't look at me. "He......he stayed in Phoenix." His body relaxed again and his fingers began pressing lightly, only occasionally pressing on the keys, the beautiful notes softly washing over us.

"Bella...?" He turned his head in my direction, his eyes searching mine, his hands still moving. ".....do you ever think about that night?"

I nodded my head silently, not needing clarification on what he was talking about or time to think about his question, or even the implications of my answer. Because I did think about it. Still. Looking up into his eyes, his penetrating gaze was drawing me in, burning deep into my soul. Oh god.

"I can't get you out of my head." Oh! The words coming out of his mouth shocked me. He looked frustrated, desperate, like he was trying so hard not to say what he was saying, but it was coming out regardless.

My heart clenched, my breath catching in my throat at the implications of what he just admitted to me, or was it to himself? But what about his girlfriend? His beautiful girlfriend?

As Edward slowly lifted his hand and cupped my face I immediately forgot about everything else, his thumb brushed across the line of my cheek bone. The moments ticked past between us just staring into the others eyes as the rise and fall of our chests increased exponentially. Neither of us moved, both held back by the shackles of our choosing. But I just couldn't help the pull I felt between us. His face slowly descended and his lips brushed reverently over mine. Once....oh god.....twice.... three times, before capturing mine in a sweet, sweet kiss, reminiscent of that first kiss we shared in Summer. He still had the ability to make me go weak at the knees. His lips then moved over mine with a little more force, his right arm came up around my back, drawing my body into his. The feeling was exquisite.

My eyes closed as I became lost in the feel of his lips, and the warmth of his body. Lost in the memory of that night. Why was it still so fresh? So much of the last year had been suppressed from my mind, but that came flooding back to me.

Oh god. What was I doing? I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't stop. My hands wound their way up and around his neck as my fingers involuntarily made their way into his beautiful hair. Stop, stop. I have to stop this. But I can't.

As Edward's tongue gently caressed mine a shudder ran through my body, and I could feel that ache between my thighs. The only other time I'd experienced it was that night in August, oh so long ago.

"Bella." He spoke my name without removing his lips from mine. Please say it again, say it always. But the words never left my mouth. The realisation of what we were both doing ripped through me and I pulled myself away from him. My hands pushing against his chest.

"Stop....we have to stop Edward," I gasped, finding it difficult to catch my breath. I quickly brought my hand up to my mouth covering my lips with the tips of my fingers. I wasn't sure if it was to keep him away, or to burn the memory of the kiss that could never happen again into my memory. I shook my head from side to side and tore my eyes away from his. There was so much hurt lying in his eyes that I couldn't look any longer. "We can't....this isn't right."

"Bella. Bella I'm so sorry..."

I stood up and backed away from the bench. This wasn't right, we couldn't do this. I turned away from him and quickly made my way to the door, pausing momentarily. My mind was telling me to leave, to get the hell out of this room before I turned around and did something I would regret, because every part of my body, including my heart was telling me to stay. But then his words came back to me. He's sorry. He's sorry? He regretted this.

I turned the handle and left the room.

A/N: So, Happy Valentine's day everyone!!! That's my little gift to you. Please please please leave me a review if you haven't before. It would be a wonderful Valentine's Day present for me....pretty please.