A/N
Warning of moderate language, if you are easily offended please do not read.

This has been another difficult one, I hope it works as I'd hoped and is not too much of a repetition for you. For the rest of the fic to fully make sense it needed to be here. Again slowness is down to rearranging and trying to get things right, when the fic is complete I will redo each chapter with corrections I've noticed and which have become clear through reviews. I've also switched my Microsoft Word language to American whilst writing so hopefully it'll pick up on the more subtle mistakes I fail to realise.

Part of the delay was down to a calorie filled Christmas that threatens a serious diet, followed far too shortly by a lazy New Years left much to the imagination. Also I had the joy of a house fire caused by my fabulous tumble dryer, the positive side of the fire was lots of firemen invading my house and offering hugs. (The optimist in me.)

I don't own the Thunderbirds, if I did it wouldn't be what it is. I remember watching it as a kid with my brother and sister, we'd get so smart arse whenever we could see the strings or we could tell what they'd used to make one of the props, yet now watching it back it's the small details like that and the Blue Peter set designs that make it so brilliant.

Enjoy.

Chapter 11
Shock

The flashing lights of emergency vehicles lit the underground car park in an excitement and energy that Jeff was finding hard to become a part of, the red and blue lights mixing together only served to make his stomach tie in knots and sicken. Uniformed officers rushed around with notepads, torches, and suspicious glances. Field analysis agents were on scene; Forensics with tape measures and cameras, the criminalistics department of the downtown station had shown up after the first ambulance and few cops, clearing the area and cordoning it with police tape and spare officers. A guy from pathology had arrived though Jeff had made clear that he wasn't wanted nor needed at that point in time, the pre-emption of the man had really gotten under his skin. Maybe work had been slow recently.

Jeff so desperately wanted to speak with John and Gordon, he wanted them together for the strength he felt he'd need to insure Alan's safe return. But his head had to hold out on the matter rather than his heart, having the boys on the mainland meant that they would be hundreds of miles away from the machines that may in fact help find and return his youngest son to him. Though they couldn't admit their involvement with International Rescue or the operative's true identities, they could use the technology they had so readily accessible in their search. It was a long shot and only a glimpse of hope but until Jeff had time to think it was the best he had, he didn't want his boys coming over just to be sent back again or to be left feeling useless.

The cops were doing their jobs to the best of their ability and Jeff couldn't really fault them. They'd done everything by the book, they were suspicious where they should be and untrusting of the three Tracy's and security guards who were all there at the time of the abduction and hit and run, just as they should be in such a situation. But by doing everything by the book they were also painfully slow and restricted in so many ways by the red tape of democracy and law. The rights that had been put in place by the American people to protect themselves had inadvertently ended up protecting the criminals, the rights stood for equality and freedom of all American citizens which meant that Taio Zucco could not be arrested on the prefix of Jeff Tracy's word alone. You needed bona fide proof for a fair trial and right now Jeff had none.

None of them had seen Taio take Alan, none of them could prove that the car was connected to Zucco in any way. There was no evidence of the threats Taio had made, or that fact that he'd caused Alan harm by trying to take him from Tracy Towers. The cops were having issues with the fact that the incident had gone unreported to begin with, Jeff Tracy was such a straight laced guy that they had issues seeing where he was coming from and didn't know whether to doubt his words or follow the leads and advice he was so urgently telling them.

Having money and being well known in such a large city was always going to be more of a hindrance than a savior, hence why he'd jacked in the city life and bought the island. He didn't want his boys growing up in a world where people only saw the possible connections they could gain and possibilities of lining their pockets.

Out of all the boys Alan was the most sheltered, he'd had four elder brothers watching his back and securing his well being for his entire life, and a father that saw a much loved wife so strongly every time he saw his youngest son. He'd associated blame onto himself for the wild child Alan had started to become, the dangerous antics that were sure to end him up in trouble with the cops, or even worse. He'd led such a sheltered life that he had begun to feel restricted and confined to the island.

Alan couldn't have done anything to prevent what had happened though, he couldn't have known that by staying on the mainland how much he had endangered himself or those around him. They'd all agreed for him to stay, even if Scott had been unhappy about it they were so used to Alan's fiery temper that the idea of just going along with the notion had, at the time, seen an easier option than packing him off home and dealing with the aftermath later.

Maybe if they hadn't lied to him about the attack in the first place, it was amnesia for God's sake! He was bound to remember at some point. Hindsight was a wonderful thing. Jeff sighed, pulling himself from his thoughts and the scene before him, he turned to find his boys.

Virgil was sat in the remaining ambulance, the other having taken off not long before, siren screaming out into the night like a banshee. His middle son looked so tired and suddenly so young, with his medical training and the list of qualifications he'd racked up it was easy to forget how young the kid actually was.

He was sat wide eyed, staring blankly at the ambulance's wall as a medic shone a light in his eyes and placed an oxygen mask onto his face before giving him a reassuring pat on the knee and gently smiling. She was really trying to get some kind of response that Virgil seemed reluctant to give, he shrugged and shook his head at something she said before turning to see his father as he came over. There was no smile of acknowledgement, no greeting, he just looked at Jeff with an expression that almost broke his heart.

Being a Thunderbird meant saving lives but it meant seeing others lose their own in the process, no matter how good you were you just couldn't save them all. The guy who started the forest fire, the woman who ran into the bank with a loaded gun, the drunk driver driving past a school as the bell rang - these more often than not weren't the people who lost their lives. There were mother's like Virgil's own, there were children screaming for help that never came, innocent bystanders brought into the fray by fate. Being a Thunderbird was a responsibility above most peoples comprehension, no matter how much they romanticized their roles or turned them into heroes, they were, after all, only human.

The first few missions with casualties and deaths were the hardest, being taken from behind the text books and guidance of elder brothers and guidance of a father to being the person who made the decisions, the operative who had to weigh up the greater good and the life of one versus the lives of many. Jeff Tracy's boys understood the responsibility though, maybe with the exception of Alan who wasn't yet an operative, they knew what they were getting into and they knew that they had to detach their own lives from that.

Being a Thunderbird had to be a job, you could sit around the dinner table discussing rescues but you never brought back the lives lost in detail, those life or death decisions made in the moments where the whole world seemed like a blind panic and you were the only one there to bring calm, reassurance and most importantly, rescue.

You had to learn to detach yourself, not see the victim as someone's father, brother or son, but as numbers ready to be accounted for as safe. That was where the line was drawn between being a Thunderbird and being a Tracy, and the more Jeff thought about it, that was why Virgil was reacting in such a way now and not during the endless rescues they'd performed.

When they'd lost Lucille Tracy the boys had all been young, Scott had been the eldest and although it had left a hole in every one of their hearts, it had perhaps been easier for them to cope with than if they'd been older. Apart from their mother they had never lost anyone they really cared about, living on the island had separated them away from a lot of the harsh realities of life.

Jeff had grown up poor though, he knew how hard things could get and having made it as an astronaut and now in the business world he knew how cruel the world could be, how vicious and how horribly destructive. Every time Jeff closed his eyes he could hear Alan crying out for help, but behind that he could see the lifeless form of Tess Zucco mixed with the bubbling young woman only a few minutes prior. It was a stark contrast but obviously one of which Virgil was now having problems processing.

Climbing up into the ambulance Jeff smiled at the paramedic who understood his intentions, she picked up a stack of forms on a pile of clipboards and headed out the back of the vehicle with a sad smile. Jeff sat himself next to his middle son, taking a moment to find the words before sighing and pulling Virgil into a hug. Somewhat awkward as Virgil didn't move.

"Alan will be ok." He tried to put belief behind the words though he knew how unbelievable they were. Worry etched his every action and thought, it took a great deal of strength to stop himself tearing across the city to try and find his baby. "He's made of tough stuff, he's a Tracy."

Virgil was slowly shaking his head, eyes closed for a moment before finally he looked up at his father, eyes straining to find some kind of understanding, he pulled the oxygen mask off letting it hang loosely around his neck. "Is she dead?"

The words were child like, so frail and quiet, unsure yet certain, confusion lacing his tone. It wasn't something Jeff wanted to talk about, he'd just finished washing her blood from his hands and he still had it on his knees from where he'd knelt besides her, and even more where he'd wiped it on his shirt in his hast when the flashing lights of emergency vehicles had made themselves known.

"I don't know son…" He kissed his son's dark hair, rubbing his arms in a circular motion for a moment as though cold. "The car didn't kill her outright."

Again Virgil took a minute to allow the words to fully sink in, he kept shaking his head and then shrugging, looking off into space before repeating the notion. He started to ask a question but twice stopped himself, words hanging in the air looking for some kind of foundation.

"That was me."

"Hmm?" Jeff frowned, not understanding him. Momentarily distracted by footsteps behind him, he turned as Scott came up to the ambulance doors, leaning an arm against them as he finished on his cell.

"What was you?" Scott had obviously caught the end of what Virgil had said, his own words more harsh than his father's yet that was Scott. He was probably the most caring of all Jeff's boys yet he had a way of cutting to the chase.

"Everything." For a moment Virgil seemed to awaken from whatever hazed daydream he was in, blinking owlishly before looking round at the two remaining Tracy's as though only just noticing their presence. "Alan shouldn't have been here, we should have sent him home. If Alan wasn't with us then…"

"We didn't know this would happen." Scott butted in, placing a hand on his younger sibling's shoulder and squeezing gently as he shared a worried expression with his father. "We can't change things, all we can do now is be strong for Alan and bring him home safe."

"Hmm."

Virgil knew he was in a sense of hysteria, it was a strange sensation, almost as though he was watching himself go about the motions yet was unable to pull himself from them. He knew he needed to snap out of it and act, to become the Thunderbird he'd been trained to be, a purpose he'd almost been born into. Yet all Virgil could do was circulate the same repetitive thoughts and events through his mind, desperately trying to find some kind of hold from which he could pull himself.

He only half heard his father and Scott, not quite understanding the meaning of what they were really saying. Everything around him seemed blurred and his heartbeat so loud in his ears and hammering heavily against his chest. He felt too warm, too confined in the body of the ambulance. There was such a distinct smell of medical supplies, petrol, and a whisper of smoke, they caught in his throat making the air feel thick and hard to breath through. More than anything he wanted to be alone and not there. The blood on is father's shirt seemed almost tangible.

Virgil's skin was clammy and as he wrung his hands they felt cold, disorienting against the heat he was sure would suffocate him with each shaky breath. He didn't want to talk, his tongue was dry and screamed for liquids which he knew he should take yet still couldn't move from his stupor. The oxygen mask had begun to help but the crispness of the calm state it tried to lull him into worried him, he almost felt obliged to feel the guilt coursing through his veins.

He felt guilty for Alan, the brother he should have protected, the brother he should have sent home. The Tracy stubbornness in him had taken over and made him make the rash decision to push the fact that he wanted the check ups from the hospital, second opinions on his medical diagnosis that he had since medical school never gotten wrong. Part of him had wanted to be in a hospital again in control and working with the other doctors, he wanted that reassuring pat on the back from knowing what he'd done was right. All his life he'd had that in the form of his family yet they couldn't help him with the medical side of things, they were first aid trained but that was no use in reading CT and MRI scans, or in aiding the recovery of a patient.

Part of him still felt so young yet what was being asked of him demanded an older mind set, a seriousness that he felt slipping aware into panic and confusion. He should have been on top of the situation, understanding exactly what was best and acting as expect - Calm, collected and in complete control. It was expected.

He couldn't even begin to process the fact that Tess had been hit by the car, left lying in the dim parking lot silently screaming out for his help. He just hadn't been able to move, everything had slowed down to a painful pace of shadowy awareness where he knew what he should be doing yet his mind kept lapsing and circling around the same thought again and again.

The car.

Alan.

The car.

It's going to hit me.

Shit!

It's going to hit me.

Shit.

I'm going to die.

He could see it coming towards him again and again, his limbs suddenly heavy and unresponsive as his mind processed the situation so quickly yet he couldn't move in time. Eyes widening in a pathetic response before he was pushed so harshly away.

Taking another breath of the heavy air he blinked away the thought and desperately tried to listen to what Scott was saying, shaking himself and trying to quell the thumping of his heart.

"The cops are doing their job but that doesn't mean we can't do ours, we are among the best trained people in the world for rescues. Just because the Thunderbirds haven't been called doesn't mean we can't do our job, they just don't need to know about it."

Scott was taking control of things as per usual, that mother hen instinct might have been the butt of many a joke but in times of crisis it was what often saw them through difficult missions. A smile had crept onto Scott's face, he was in no way happy about the situation but he was happy to be doing something about it, even if it was just planning to do something, getting the cogs moving and setting a motion against the brick wall they all felt to have hit.

"Are you with me?"

Virgil allowed his own soft smile to grace his lips, he needed some purchase on the situation and some guidance, they all did. He needed to get away from the parking lot and the swell of police officers hanging about, the flashing lights and hum of activity were giving him a headache. He needed his family. All of them.

"We'll bring Allie home."

Jeff smiled at his boys, so thankful for the support and love they gave every moment of their lives and although desperately worried for his youngest he felt a spark of hope and determination ignite that would never be dimmed. Not until Alan was back at home where he belonged.

"Where is she then?"

Taio Zucco found himself pacing up and down the now darkened office in one of his office buildings in a smaller suburb outside of the city, a glass clutched in one hand and his other raised in the air trying to grasp hold of what Stella was telling him.

Stella Lester had been hired as soon as Tess had stepped back onto American soil, she was hired to keep an eye on the young woman but at the same time to remain inconspicuous. Taio liked to know what was happening in his life, he liked control and order and knowing where everything fit in. He had little time for his daughter yet always spared the time to know what she was doing and who she was with.

"I didn't exactly hang around." Stella breathed out a slow breath of smoke from the cigarette she'd taken a drag from, it hung in the air standing in contrast to the single lit lamp that gave the room a rather foreboding feel. "There were cops everywhere… it didn't look good though. You might want to have a word with the guys you had on the job." She sighed and gave a quick shrug, turning away to pick up her purse from a chair by the window she muttered. "Talk about screwing up."

"What do you mean it didn't look good?" He leant back against his desk and rubbed his eyes, it had been a stressful day. "Did the cops nab her?"

"No." Stella turned back to him, a slight smirk crossed her lips at the irony of his words. She looked back down at her purse whilst speaking, rustling around distractedly. "The paramedics were keeping them back whilst they did their stuff. Getting hit by a car and being thrown from it doesn't tend to leave someone in tip top condition." She gave a sad smile, looking up with her cell now in her hand, she checked the time on the screen before heading towards the door. "Sorry Zucco but I've really got to go, looks like I'm going to be out of work so need to call in some favors. We can talk about this later but it'll have to be on your time."

He stared at the woman for a long moment before shaking himself ."Sure." He gave a half hearted wave of the hand, nodding to Stella as she left.

He was left staring at the door as she closed it behind her, his recently poured celebratory whisky having not yet made it to his lips. He wasn't quite sure what had happened or where things had really gone wrong for Tess and right now his mind was in two places; self congratulations for the snatch of Alan Tracy or anger directed at the idiots who had messed it up it so many ways.

He tried to shake himself back to the present situation, to that of Jeff Tracy and the lesson he wished to teach to man that so easy wore at his nerves. Even though he could see Jeff so clearly in his mind it wasn't the panic stricken man left longing for a son that had been so easily taken from his grasp, it was the Jeff Tracy all those years ago sat in Central Park with Lucille Tracy and Zucco's own wife, who, at the time, was nursing a new born baby girl.

Taio could see the different sides to Jeff so clearly; the family man who was so fiercely loyal to his own, the business tycoon who managed to always get the deals through without having to bribe or lean on anyone, the astronaut whose face had shone through so many a newspaper and was now eternally etched into the hearts of his fellow Americans.

He wanted to hate the man so much, to cause him the hurt he felt he should still suffer, to remind him of his lost wife and how he'd never again get her back. Yet suddenly the darkness was all around him and for the first time in years, Taio Zucco felt so incredibly alone.

Happy New Year gorgeous reviewers!