At the end of 'All's Fine That Ends Okay'.

There Are Absolutely No Facial Expressions

If there was one person Maddox would ever ask advice from, it was the man who worked at the store. No, not the Norwegian. Or the Swede (definitely not him). It was Tino.

Maddox liked Tino. He liked how Tino was the master of letting people underestimate him. No one would (or had) ever believed the amount of things Tino was capable of. Tino had taught him quite a bit when he had first come to Hearth and Maddox was grateful. If there was one person he would never prank, it would be Tino.

At least, not until he could figure out a way of actually getting away with it. One did not try and prank their teacher until they were certain they would be successful. And there was the fact that the more time it took for Maddox to decide to do so, the more complacent Tino would become, making it easier for him to accomplish it.

All of this was besides the point. The point right now did not have anything to do with a prank. In fact, it had been a while since Maddox had broached that subject with his once mentor. It still would not be broached, as that was not what Maddox needed to know about. There was a very important date coming up and, just like every year, this was integral for his social survival with a certain person.

Maybe it was a little more so now that they were dating.

Heidi's birthday was coming up and Maddox needed to get her a real present that Vash would be happy with.

That was the odd thing. He had to get a present Vash would be happy with. Which meant Heidi would have to be ecstatic about it. It was a more important date than Vash's birthday. Vash would be easy to shop for. Vash would be disappointed if anything from Maddox was not ridiculous. What Maddox could get Heidi could also be ridiculous. Heidi had a good sense of humour. But, at the same time, Maddox knew he needed to get something she would really like, if just to pacify the overly protective brother.

So he went to the store, all the while considering the idea of ditching this trail of thought and buying Heidi a swimsuit. Heidi would appreciate it. Vash would be seething. But it would be funny, depending on the pattern.

No, no. He needed something different. Maybe a stealth pun. Either the kind Vash would not notice or the one he would notice and Heidi would not, which would mean Vash could not be upset about it because his sister would not know...

Now that would be funny.

Entering the store displayed a dilemma. Tino was not right there and the person who was did not like him and would probably not tell him where Tino was a the moment. Berwald was reading a book behind the counter and had not even looked up when Maddox came in. Maddox could have turned around and left, but he decided against that.

Just because Berwald did not like him did not make it mutual. Maddox did not have too much of an opinion about Berwald. He was not someone Maddox liked, he was not someone he disliked. But he was not fun to prank. Which made him boring. There were very few people like that in Hearth. He had no idea why Tino could have married someone who was so... unfun.

Despite all that, Maddox knew Berwald knew where Tino was. And if he did not, he supposed he could go ask iLudo. He would have gone to iMarcus, but iMarcus had trouble keeping quiet sometimes.

A lot of the time.

"I require visual conformation of your husband," Maddox said.

Berwald barely looked up from his book. "Not here."

"I have noticed," Maddox agreed. He waited for another response, which Berwald was not giving him. "I have a question of him. Have no fear, it has nothing to do with marriage."

He had learnt his lesson. Thought it did not seem like Berwald believed him. Still, the man looked up from his book. "C'n I help y'?"

"That was the intent," Maddox nodded.

"Are y' buyin' somethin'?"

"That was going to be part of the question," Maddox continued. "You are not very good with this customer service idea, are you? Not that you have to be. We Hearthians are stuck with limited options when it comes to where to shop at, unless we take a lot of trips."

Berwald did not say anything. Maddox decided that had been enough of that and so turned to leave. iLudovicus it was. Hopefully he would be willing to tell him where Tino was, because if he was not then Maddox would have to spend a lot more time waiting and he would rather not spend too much time on this. He had other projects to get to.

He liked Heidi a lot, but Maddox's time was a commodity he enjoyed spending sporadically.

"Dun know what y'r getting' Heidi?"

Maddox paused at the door before turning back around. "I know what I will get her. I am trying to decide what to get her brother to give to her. He is so picky about these things."

"Y' think too much."

Now that was something Maddox had never been accused of before. He had been accused of not thinking enough. Especially by Fatimah, even though she was a one to talk. "And all this time I could have been making less effort."

Berwald made a grunting sound before looking back at his book, leaving Maddox to wonder what the man had in mind.

Then again, Berwald never appeared to let on like there was much going on in his mind either, so perhaps it was a matter of not comprehending that level of thought. "How much thought am I wasting? It is a limited resource; I need to know how much I have been neglecting the environment."

"It's a pres'nt."

"Yes. Yes it is," Maddox nodded. "I had almost forgotten, but now that you have reminded me I will not keep it. Sometimes I get confused, especially after my own birthday."

"Sh' likes cute things an' l'ttle things t' occupy h'r time."

This was the most Maddox had heard Berwald say in his life. It made him wonder if Berwald did not hate him any more or if it was a trap. But Berwald was not the trap type. He always came forward with things.

So Maddox walked back over and stood in front of the counter. "Of course she does. But everyone knows that. And I am Maddox."

"Yeah."

"You are Berwald."

Berwald looked up from his book again.

"I did not think the rest of this joke through."

The Swede snorted, setting the book down. "Y' dun't get 't?"

If he thought he was being obvious, Maddox was going to have to shatter that impression. "Am I supposed to?"

Reaching to something on the counter, Berwald moved a box which contained the pieces for a ship in a bottle and moved it in front of him. Maddox almost thought Berwald wanted him to buy it before he would give his advice, before he got what the man was trying to say.

"Make y'r own."

"I'll buy ten of these," Maddox stated. Berwald did not say anything, but rang them up just the same.

After all, this was going to be a great idea. From Berwald, not Tino. Maddox decided that maybe Tino had not made such a bad decision with his husband after all.

Although the lack of reactions was something Maddox did not think he could deal with.

By the time Heidi had finished making her pasture in a bottle, she looked at the message Maddox had painted on to the bottom of the pieces.

Your real present is buried in the forest. Here is a map.

"Oh dear," she said.

If this was the truth, it was certainly going to take a while for her to find.

Notes:

Vash was very suspicious of that present. And for good reason too, not that he gets to know that.

Another person who is not fun to prank is Young Sil. Maddox would not go to that house with a ten foot binder, a grenade launcher, or a tuna fish sandwich. That is saying a lot. Then there is Gupta, who is really just boring to Maddox. The only person he does not prank, of whom it would be okay to and he would get great reactions out of, is Xiu. No, he pranks her husband instead.