DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything 'cept Alex. Same old, same old.

Hiya! This chapters a bit longer than normal, sorry if it feels like I dither on a bit. Thanks to all you lovely people who review and please keep doing it. I love getting feedback!

Enjoy...

Brendan

I was heading towards the hotel, choosing to walk the long way there to help clear my head in the fresh air. Usually I'd drive but I'd left my car outside the hotel. I'd visited some people I used to know. They were the type that seemed to know everything about everyone. I'd asked them to keep an eye out for Stephen. It wasn't much but it was wort a shot. The rest of my day had been spent going to clubs and that, seeing if he had gone there looking for a job. So far, though, I'd had no luck but I wouldn't be discouraged. Manchester was a big place and I'd barely got through any of it. I would keep looking and, eventually, I would find him. I'd hire a fucking private detective if I had too. 'Whatever it takes,' I thought to myself fiercly, 'whatever it takes to get him back.'

So, I was walking down the street, lost in my thoughts, when I saw him. Yes, him. Stephen Hay, in the flesh. It was like God himself had dropped him there, just for me. I froze for a second, standing in the street like an eejit, just staring at him. This was beyond lucky, this was fate. What more proof did I need that we belonged together? Even the whole of Manchester couldn't bloody keep us apart. We were like magnets, always drawn back together whether we wanted it or not. I couldn't believe it.

Then I noticed the other guy. I'd never seen him before in my life but it seemed that Stephen knew him. I couldn't hear much of what they said, I just heard something about walking away. Then he kissed Stephen. My Stephen. He may as well have punched me in the gut. Unwanted thoughts sped through my mind. Stephen had a new life now, without me. He'd actually moved on. I'd tried not to think about it before but know it was shoved painfully in my face. Stephen had moved on. He probably had a nice new house and a nice new job and nice new mates. And then here was the icing on the cake - Stephens nice new boyfriend. He wasn't half bad, certainly a step up from Noah, but I still hated him. Lucky bastard.

I watched as Ste pushed him away but that didn't matter. Stephen obviously didn't care about me anymore. He'd left me behind like a I was just another mistake from the past and he hadn't looked back. I didn't want to stick around and watch Ste and whoever the fuck this was have a lover's tiff. I couldn't see Stephen right now - I was feeling too vulnerable. I'd just came all the way too Manchester and spent the whole day walking around trying to get any information about where he was when it was now painfully obvious that I'd wasted my time. Stephen was already over me. I was feeling embarassed and desperate and dejected and I just wanted to hide. Stephen couldn't see me like this, I was a mess. I turned around and started walking away as fast as I could without running. However, one word stpped me in my tracks. One simple word, a name actually. My name.

"Brendan?"

I hesitated before turning around. In a matter of seconds, Stephen was infront of me. My eyes roamed his body, drinking him in. It may have only been 3 months but he looked different. He'd filled out a bit, his chest looked broader, more stable. His hair was slightly damp and he looked amazing. I'd missed him, missed seeing him everyday.

"I can't believe it." He breathed, "What are you doing here?"

For all my Irish luck and Brady charm, I couldn't find my voice.

"Brendan...are you okay?" He asked. Strangely, he didn't seem angry. I thought he would be furious at me for interupting his new life but he looked fine.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I said, snapping out of my daze. "So, you and your boyfriend have a fight?" I asked, trying to sound mocking but sounding more curious.

"What?" Stephen asked, frowning. Then, it clicked and he shook his head, "Oh, him. He wasn't my boyfriend."

"He was kissing you." I pointed out.

"So? Doesn't mean he's my boyfriend." He said, defensive. "What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk about this somewhere else? Somewhere a little less," I gestured to the street around us, "public."

"Err, yeah. 'suppose so. We can go to mine." He replied.

"I'll give you a lift. My cars' near here." I told him.

20 minutes later, I pulled up to his house. It was nice, a lot better than the flat he used to live in. The ride there had been awkward to say the least. Stephen kept asking me why I was here but I kept saying that we could talk about it later. He was getting frustrated and I couldn't really blame him.

"Nice place." I commented getting out of the car.

"Yep." He told me, walking to the door and getting out his keys. I took a deep breath, mentally rebuilding my walls and preparing for anything. I honestly didn't know what was going to happen. I knew what I wanted to happen but it all on Stephen now. Was he really over me?

Ste

I left the door open and walked into the kitchen/dining room. I leant against the counter, looking at Brendan as he followed me in.

"Alright, Alex isn't due back for a while so we're alone. Can you please tell me what you're doing here?" I said.

"You live with Alex?" He asked, not-so-subtly changing the subject.

"Yes." I sighed. Brendan was as infuriating as ever. I'd finally getting over my shock at seeing him, now I just wanted to know what the fuck was going on. I really doubted Brendan just happened to be in Manchester.

"Are you...together?" He questioned, almost hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure if he should say anything. He was probably worried that he'd sound jealous. He shouldn't have worried because I knew him well enough to know that, yes, he was a jealous bastard but I didn't mind it. In fact, most of the time, I revelled in it. Not now though, I was too busy trying to work out what the hell he was doing.

"No, he's a mate. Nowt else. Not will you stop avoiding it and just tell me what you're doing here?"

"You really have to ask?" Brendan advanced on me, closing the gap between us.

"Yeah, I do. I haven't seen you in months Brendan." I had to resist the urge to run when he came closer, "I left. You weren't supposed to follow me."

"Really?" He asked but he was looking at my chest. He reached out and pulled at the chain around my neck, pulling the cross out from under my top so he could see it. When he realised it was his cross, Brendan smiled. It was just a small smile; the corner of his mouth just pulling up. However, it was a real, genuine smile, not a smirk. I used to love it when he smiled for real, it used to make me want to grin like a fool. I didn't though, not this time. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I wanted a fresh start. I wanted to forget me past." I told him. He looked at me knowingly - he hadn't failed to notice that I hadn't answered his question.

"Then why are you wearing this?" He questioned and I didn't have an answer, "Looks like you didn't want to forget everything after all."

"Why did you come here?" I said, my voice rising. I was defensive, I suppose. Brendan was right and I hated it.

"I'm not done with ya." He said in his irish drawl. God, I loved his voice, it sent shivers down my spine.

"You could have found someone else. It would've been alot easier than tracking me down." I retorted.

"I wanted ya, Stephen. You, not someone else. I wanted ya so I found ya." Brendan replied as if it was simple. I suppose, in some ways it was. He inched a bit closer, bodyheat radiated from him. I couldn't help it, my gaze dropped to his lips. He laughed. Damn!

"I'd say that you still want me. Am I wrong?" He smirked, always so sure of himself. I thought about telling him that yes, he was wrong but I doubted my voice would be level. I wouldn't be fooling anyone so I kept quiet.

"You want me." He repeated and the thing was, I did. I wanted him and it did my head in. He'd been in my head for the past three months - haunting me, taunting me, tempting me - but now he was here, in front of me and I didn't think I had the strength to resist him now.

"Say it." Brendan ordered but I refused to speak.

"Why are you being stubborn?" He asked, frustrated. It was then that my last resolve shatttered.

I needed this, I wanted this. And God only knows that after everything - after all the shit I'd been through and after how hard I'd tried to turn it all around - I think I deserved this. I deserved to be happy and Brendan made me happy. But, if I woke up in the morning and history repeats itself and I end up with a broken heart, then I'll deserve that too - for going back, for caving in. If that's what was going to happen then so be it. I was going to be as happy as I could right now, even if the happiness is short lived. I couldn't, wouldn't, question this feeling anymore. Brendan made me feel so unbelievably amazing and I wanted him. In that second, that's all that counted. I wanted him and he wanted me. It wasn't a time to think of mistakes from the past and uncertanties of the future; it was time to just act. I kissed him as hard as I could. It was filled with passion and he returned it equally. It felt like home.

I looked up at him with lust-filled eyes and he smiled. My hands raked through his hair and he pulled me back to him. Brendan's tounge traced my lips, wanting entry. My lips parted and I moaned into his mouth as out tounge's touched. He tasted amazing, like nothing I'd ever seen before. His fingers gripped my neck, setting my skin on fire. This was what I'd been missing, what I couldn't find in any of the other guys I'd seen: this fire, this passion. I'd only ever experienced it with Brendan.

"Bedroom?" He mumbled against my mouth.

"This way." I replied, dragging him through the room towards the stairs.

We reached the bedroom in a frenzied state, both of us tugging at the others clothes, desperate to touch each other.

Soon, I'm standing naked in the room and Brendan looks me up and down. I would've been embarassed if it wasn't for the evident need and lust in his eyes that showed just how much he wanted me. He shoves me onto the bed and climbs on top of me, the mattress bouncing beneath us.

Brendan

I pinned him to the bed, enjoying the heat of his body beneath mine. Now that he was naked, I could see that he had filled out. His chest broader, his arms bigger. Over all: less fragile, less breakable.

I kissed down his jaw, stopping at his throat to bite the delicious, flawless skin there. I sucked and bit till I was sure it would leave a mark. I looked at my work and smiled - it wouldn't be fading anytime soon. All the while, Stephen was groaning as his hands gripped my hair. God, the sound of his voice turned me on. He was still wearing the cross, I was glad. It was like proof that he hadn't forgotten me, not even for a moment.

"Bren," he whined and I smiled. This was how it should be: me and Stephen. Always me and Stephen.

I led my trail of kissed further down his body and he gasped. I was going to make sure that Stephen remembered exactly where he belonged.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

We lay in the bed, limbs and sheets tangled together till I didn't know where I ended and he began. We were both hot, sticky and breathless - just the way I liked it. His head rested on my shoulder and he looked like he belonged there, with my arm wrapped around him.

Stephen looked up at me and grinned - that stupid, foolish grin that made me want to grin back.

"What time is it?" He asked lazily, yawning.

"My phone's in my trouser pocket." I told him. He sighed before getting up.

"Err, Bren, where are your trousers?" He asked, looking around.

I sat up and spotted them under a table on the far side of the room. They must have gotten kicked under there. I pointed before settling back down in the bed, content to lie there forever. Well, I would be if Stephen would hurry up and get back in bed, that is.

"Shit." He muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"Alex is due back any second now." He explained, looking panicked.

"So?"

"Well, he ain't gonna be very happy when he finds out you're here." Ste bit his lip and I stared, "He might tell Amy. God, she'll go off it."

"Stephen, are you trying to say you're ashamed of me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but that won't stop Ames hating me. She proper hates you and when she finds out 'bout this..." He trailed of.

"Who cares about Amy Barnes?" I huffed, streching.

"Brendan." Stephen said, in a warning tone. "She is me best mate. Well, 'part from Alex. Anyway, what am a gonna do?"

Ste

"Stephen, calm down. Jesus." Brendan sighed. I glared at him and was about to say something but the sight of him in my bed left me at a loss for words. He looked like he belonged there, in my bed, naked and covered in sweat, his hair messed up. I still couldn't quite believe what had happened. Brendan had came looking for me. Brendan Brady - the guy who chases no one, but had chased after me. Events had certainly took a U-turn. 4 hours ago, my life , although normal and stable, wasn't looking great. I'd been missing something, something important, and that missing piece was now occupying my bed.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and gasped. God, the state of my neck - it was covered with hickeys and I knew they wouldn't fade anytime soon. I knew what Brendan had been doing - he was marking me as his. And I was his, as much as I hated to admit it. Even when I left Hollyoaks, a part of me had been left behind. Now I was complete again. I smiled.

When I'd left I'd told myself that I wouldn't regret my decision and I didn't regret it. Moving away had set me free, give me a new life, new oppertunities. But that didn't mean that I regreted sleeping with Brendan. I knew that we had alot of issues to get past and alot of things that needed saying but I wanted him in my life, needed him in my life.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone coming into the house.

"Hey, Ste? You in?" A voice shouted. Alex.

"Oh, fuck!" I whispered. I grabbed my clothes and hastily put them on. I knew I wanted Brendan but I wasn't sure how he fitted into my life in Manchester. Our relationship in Hollyoaks had been a mess of secrets, violence, anger, jealousy, control, lust and love. Not an ideal combination. But I was more in control here, I had an entirely new life. I didn't rely on Brendan anymore. I wasn't a victim or anything. So, maybe it would be easier. Who knows? All I did know was that I wasn't ready to deal with it just yet.

"Here." I hissed, tossing Brendan's clothes on the bed.

"Seriously?" He asked, looking sceptical.

"Please?"

"Fine." he sighed, getting up. "But we can't hide up here, you know. Not forever." I snorted. That was hilerious coming from him - I still remembered all the times he's had me sneaking out of his house behind Cheryl's back because he couldn't deal with things. Well, now it was my turn.

"Ste?" Alex's voice was close, very close. As in right-outside-the-door close. He wouldn't just come in, would he? Oh,who was I kidding. Of course he would! He was Alex, he didn't know the meaning of the word privacy.

"Hey, Ste. Who's car's that outside?" He said, walking in.

Luckily, we were both dressed. Alex stared at both of us for a second before looking pissed of. "Ste, what the hell is he doing here?"

"Er, Alex. I guess you remember Brendan?" I said, trying to stall. This felt awfully fimiliar, it reminded me of the time Mitzeee and Rae had walked in on me and Brendan in the club.

"Of course I remember him. He's your psycho ex-boyfriend. The one who beat you up and wrecked your life." Both me and Brendan winced at that, "Now, I'll ask again. What the hell is he doing here?"

"Look, Alex," Brendan started but Alex cut him off.

"I wasn't asking you." He growled. "Why don't you get the fuck out of my house?"

"Why don't you make me?" Brendan stepped forward threateningly.

"No!" I yelled, putting my hand on Brendan's chest and pulling him back, "Jesus! Can you both just stop, yeah. Just stop."

Alex looked momenterily apologetic, "I'm sorry Ste but you shouldn't have let him mess with you again."

Brendan, on the other hand, still looked ready for a fight. "What's it got to do wi' you, anyway?"

"I'm Ste's mate. I actually care about him, unlike you!" Alex retorted.

"What would you know?" Brendan snarled.

"Oh my god! You's are doing my head in." I yelled, glaring at them. "Can't you just talk like bloody grown ups."

"You're one to talk." teased Alex but I knew he was trying for me. Trying to find out what was going on, trying to help me out. He was really loyal, one of the best mates I could ever ask for.

"Whatever. So can you both calm down?"

"Fine." Alex said, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender.

I looked at Brendan pointedly. "Fine." He grumbled.

Two minutes later we were sat downstairs in the living room, Brendan and Alex sitting on oppisate ends of the couch. It was almost funny, the expressions of disgust on thier faces when ever they looked at each other. Well, it would've been funny if they weren't two of the people I cared most, except Amy and the kids, hating each other.

"Does Amy know?" Alex questioned.

"No, not yet." I replied. I wouldn't know what to tell her. I mean, were me and Brendan together now? Or did he want things to be like they were before, always on his terms?

"Well, are you gonna tell her?" He asked.

"I dunno." I sighed. "I just need to talk to Brendan."

"So talk." He said.

"I meant in private." I told him.

"Well, I'm not going. I just got here." Alex replied, sulkily.

"We could go to my hotel." Brendan told me, ignoring Alex completely.

"Okay. Right. Come on then." I headed towards the door, gesturing for him to follow.

Brendan drove us to the hotel where we would "talk". God only knows there was a lot to talk about. The problem was, not all of it was good. Who knew what would know what would resurface when we started delving into our past? I knew though that we couldn't go on without moving past everything else. We couldn't keep brushing things under the carpet. I only hoped we were strong enough to get through our own past.

Rachey Ayy xx