A/N I just want to quickly thank my reviewers. Thank you! Told ya it'd be quick. Now onto the stuff people actually care about...

Breakdown

Chapter 7: Destruction

"WHERE IS JAMES?"

"Sick," Logan replied bluntly.

Kendall glared balefully at Gustavo. Making Logan do his work for him in order to stay in the band. The thought made Kendall sick himself.

"He did seem not himself yesterday," Kelly agreed before Gustavo could lose his cool.

He glanced at Kelly with a tight-lipped smile. "Yes, Kelly, I did notice that." He turned to the trio with the same expression and spoke to them in the same falsely kind tone. "Boys, please enter the recording booth."

Logan and Carlos moved toward the door the led to the small room, but Kendall didn't flinch. He just glared daggers at Gustavo, wishing looks could kill.

"Kendall, booth, NOW!"

From his peripheral vision, Kendall could see Logan staring at him, begging him with his eyes not to do what Logan knew he was about to do. Kendall ignored him.

"No."

Gustavo laughed in disbelief. "No? No? I'm sorry, since when do you start making your own decisions? Oh, that's right, you don't! I DO! And I say, GET IN THE BOOTH NOW OR YOU'RE FIRED!"

Kendall refused to be daunted. "Fire me, then. I can always bribe my way back into the band."

Gustavo's face went red with rage. Logan's cheeks were flushed, too, but for a different reason.

Gustavo laughed humourlessly again. "You really think that you can just talk your way back into the band once you're out?"

"I didn't say talk. I could, lets see, maybe politely offer to do all your work for you while I myself practice my singing and dance moves in my own little free time, which wouldn't really make it free time, now would it? Or, in my case, work on improving my 'negative attitude'. By we're not talking about me here, are we?"

For the first time in his entire career as a music producer, Gustavo Rocque was speechless. He hadn't the faintest idea how to defend himself.

"I...he..."

"What is he talking about?" Kelly demanded in a confused tone.

Kendall didn't reply, only smirked at Gustavo, daring him to confess.

"Nothing! Kelly, he's a stupid dog..."

While the flustered producer and his impatient assisitant argued, Logan yanked Kendall into the recording booth, Carlos following like a lost little puppy, his brown eyes filled with anxiousness and fear. He didn't want Kendall to get fired.

"Get off of me!" Kendall shook violently out of Logan's grip.

"Kendall, what are you doing?" Logan hissed. "This was way behind me, and now you just had to go and bring it up again when it's none of your business! Gustavo was really warming up to us, and now he's going to fire all of us because you wanted to try and be all bold and challenge him to do it! Well, I can tell you this, he's going to! We just got the band back together, and now what? We're going to be in the same place we were a week ago, only this time, there won't be a third chance!" Logan tugged at his hair, not caring when a few strands ripped out of his head and drifted to the floor. He hardly felt it. "Just imagine what this is going to do to James! Oh god, James..."

He was going to be beyond devastated. The first time had been bad enough, but now it was happening again, and Logan knew that there was absolutely no way BTR would somehow make it back on their feet again. Heck, they'd hardly even gotten back on their feet this time.

The next thing Logan knew, Kendall was exploding. "James? What's this going to do to James? Who cares about James! He's been making us feel like pieces of shit ever since we got him back, and I'm done with it!" Kendall suddenly quieted down and glanced at the floor, looking and feeling like a complete and utter idiot. Who cares about James? I do. "I didn't mean that... I just- maybe this was meant to be."

Logan scoffed.

"I know that sounds stupid, but seriously! We're all under a crap load of stress and it's making us lose it. I mean, look at us this past week. James doesn't even want to be around us, namely me. He fainted yesterday. And now this? Asking to be fired? I think I'm losing my mind. I...I need to get out of here." Without another word, Kendall pushed past his two bewildered friends and fled from the studio.

Unable to speak, Logan and Carlos slowly turned and glanced through the glass at Kelly and Gustavo. Judging by the twin expressions of bafflement on their faces, they'd heard the whole thing.

James yawned and stretched his arms out above his head. He arched his back until the tightness was gone. Rolling onto his side, he peeked at his alarm clock and blinked in horror.

"NO! Carlos, get up! We're late!"

James threw off his covers and leapt from his bed, last night's headache departed and forgotten. "CARLO-"

Carlos' bed was empty. Glancing at the dresser, James saw that Carlos' phone was absent from its usual perch.

Calm down, James instructed himself. Carlos is an early-bird.

Maybe so, but Kendall wasn't, and his bed was devoid of a body, as well. Where are they?

Before James even entered the empty kitchen, he was struck by a horrible realization that left his head reeling. They went without me. Do they really hate me that much? Or is this just their lame-ass way of finally telling me they don't want me in the band anymore?

Fury boiled James' blood, but he didn't do anything rash. Instead, he hunted down his phone, scrolled through his contacts, and pressed 'Call'.

After three rings the receiver picked up.

"James? Sorry we aren't there, but now's really not a good time. Can I call you back?"

James let out an incredulous laugh and shook his head though he knew Logan couldn't see him. "Why, so you can have some extra time to think up an excuse for why you didn't wake me up this morning?"

"James, look, I'll explain everything when we get home, okay? I have to go."

"You're at the studio, aren't you? All of you."

"Yes, but-"

"Don't worry about explaning when you get here."

"James, you don't-"

"I'll come there."

"No, no, James, don't bother. I don't think that's a good idea...we'll be home sooner than expected."

But James had already hung up and was making his way out the door, his heavy steps accentuating his anger.

Only...he didn't feel quite as mad as he thought he should be. He was angry, yes, but not furious, though he had ever right to be. It didn't feel right. James decided not to worry too much. It was nice being able to control the level of his emotions. At least, his negative ones. He hadn't felt any positive ones in days.

Five minutes later James was stalking toward the entrance of Rocque Records. He hustled up the stairs and down the hall of Boy Band's past, vaguely wondering when they were going to get a poster of their own to admire.

To get a poster, we actually have to be a band, he thought bitterly.

James shook this dispiriting though from his mind and continued toward the recording room. Poking his head in the doorway, he saw it was empty, so he headed back downstairs to the dance studio. Also vacant.

James was caught somewhere between really ticked off and really upset. Why didn't his friends want to be around him?

Then James was hearing the voices again, the ones that belong to the angel on his left shoulder and the devil on his right. The angel spoke sofly and reasonably, assuring him that there was a logical explanation to the unexplained disappearance of his friends, while the devil snarled insults in his ear.

They probably figured you needed some rest, that's why they didn't wake you this morning.

Are you kidding me? Don't buy that crap. They wanted to see if they sound better without you.

Of course that's not true. They're your best friends. They've always been there for you.

Right, cause you imagined the whole 'lets steal James' dream and run' thing.

Everybody makes mistakes. Just let them show you how much they truly care-

Bring the information to Hawke before it's too late! Pay them back for what they did to you!

James pressed his hands over his ears, but it did him no good. The voices weren't really voices. They were his thoughts, eager to determine whose side James would choose, battling it out in the ultimate test of good and evil. Which am I?

The voices were tormenting him, trying to break him down. And they were doing a damn good job of it.

James screamed out a violent spew of curses as the words turned to thunderous shouts, each case desperate to be heard. James clawed at his head till he drew blood. Then he slid down the wall till he hit the floor. Curling up in a fetal position, James began to sob.

Kendall stormed into 2J and headed straight to James' room. It was still early; he was more than likely still fast asleep.

Kendall came to a halt in front of the door. Which was open. From where he stood, Kendall could see that James was not in his bed. Confused, Kendall turned and retraced his steps through the rest of the apartment. The only place he hadn't passed by on the way to James' room was his and Logan's. But James wouldn't be in there.

Kendall checked anyway. Sure enough, no James. Kendall searched the bathroom, kitchen, and living room again, but he knew even as he pointlessly called out James' name, that he was not in the apartment.

Next Kendall headed down to the lobby and asked if anyone had seen James yet. Nobody had.

The pool had only been open for an hour, so it came as no surprise to Kendall when he didn't discover James there, either.

Could he have gone to the studio after waking up? Now that Kendall considered it, he realized it was very possible. Actually, it was the most probable place left that Kendall could think of, so he sighed and went out front of the hotel to hail a cab. He ducked when a white stretch limo drove by, ignoring the curious look from the cab driver.

Kendall dashed into Rocque Records and pondered over where to go first. Probably upstairs to the recording room. James would most likely have headed there first.

As Kendall walked by the dance studio, he heard strange, choking noises coming from inside. He had never heard it before, but he had a pretty good idea of who it was.

Kendall walked through the open door and found James curled up on the ground by the wall. Kendall rushed over and knelt down next to him. Upon closer inspection, Kendall now finally saw how bad off his friend really was.

Tears streaked the taller boy's agonzied face. Blood slowly oozed from the self-inflicted scratches that lined both sides of his temples. The sobs that wracked his body were mournful and heart-breaking. Kendall could hardly stand listening to his friend emit such a wretched sound.

Kendall did the only thing he could think of to do. He wrapped James up in a tight embrace and swore to never let go. In that instant, all of Kendall's hostility and anger toward James vanished, and was replaced by longing. Longing to have his friend back, longing to make him okay, and longing to give him reason to believe that Kendall would never leave him again.

James shuddered and leaned into Kendall's touch. He found it comforting and warm. And safe. It was something he hadn't felt around Kendall in a long time, and he was going to make the most of it.

Lifting his head, he gazed up and his eyes met Kendall's. They spoke a thousand apologies.

James wasn't sure if he was ready for that yet, though. He could see himself forgiving his friends, yes, but anytime in the near future? That he couldn't see.

But none of that mattered in this moment. All that did matter was that Kendall was right there with him.

Kendall's thoughts weren't so bright. He was glad James felt comfortable enough to allow Kendall to be so close to him, but there was something gnawing away at the back of his mind, pestering him, and he knew it wasn't something he could dismiss as nothing. He studied James, reflecting on how broken he seemed and obvioulsy was, and though it killed him to think it, Kendall couldn't help it.

I did this to him.

Horray for bromance! I was sick of making Kendall act like a huge jerk, especially when he knows how hard a time James is going through, so I made him come to his senses and...this is the outcome.

I don't know, I didn't really like it. It wasn't intense enough for me, but don't worry, because there is a (hopefully) huge surprise coming next chapter, so stay tuned and as always, please review!