(Point of View: Katniss)
I am lying down. My knees are bent, and my feet rest on the ground. The air smells of evergreens. Mountain laurel blossoms hang heavy in the thicket that surrounds me. I'm cold and realize that I am wearing few clothes. Maybe I've hidden myself here in this thicket? I don't remember. I have a profound sense of doom. Surely this is the arena. I wonder if I'm on television. I hope not!
I try to raise my body with my arms, but I can only do so about an inch. I hear a squishing sound as I am forced back to the ground by gravity and bodily weakness. Looking down, I see that the ground is wet. I feel the wetness underneath me, and I wonder if it has rained. The trees don't seem wet though. I reach up to pick a large white laurel blossom, hoping to eventually cover myself with them so the camera can't have any opportunity to show me partially unclothed. I'm distracted from the task when I see blood on my hand. Looking down I see more blood; it's everywhere. It covers my legs and hands. Some of the blood looks partially rinsed off though. I wonder if the wetness underneath me is all blood! Maybe I'm in shock. How could I be wounded this badly? What happened?
A wave of nausea rolls over me. Then an indescribable pain shoots through me and I shriek. I try to stifle the noise. This is the arena! I have to be quiet! As the pain subsides, I think of the girl who built the fire the first night of the games. I thought she was so stupid. Now I am giving away my location just as she did. I look around for a weapon to defend myself in my obviously feeble state. I find nothing.
Pain grips my body again and I cry out loudly before I can attempt to stop myself. I wonder who has heard me. I try to catch my breath as the pain slowly subsides. Then I see him. He is perched in the canopy of trees. A jabberjay. He looks as though he'll start his call. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and pray he'll be silent. I know they'll find me and kill me for sure if he calls. My situation is bad enough without a jabberjay repeating my vocal indiscretions. I hear nothing, but when I look up again the jabberjay stares back at me. Turning his head, he seems extraordinarily sinister. He has the power of life and death over me.
I feel another searing pain, and I breathe rapidly to try to fight crying out. It's futile – a scream escapes my lips. "No, no," I whimper as my scream subsides. "No, no," the jabberjay repeats at roughly the same volume. It is so ominous to hear him utter my voice! He doesn't repeat my scream though.
My mouth is so dry. The canopy of trees blurs before my eyes. I feel the blood in the soil with my hands. "What's happening to me? I'm dying," I think. Another agonizing pain grips me. It is even more intense. My fingers dig into the soil below me. I scream a long scream of terror and pain.
Momentarily, my vision clears; the jabberjay's black eyes stare at me. Then it screams loudly with my voice. My eyes fill with tears.
I woke with a start, crying. Peeta must have been asleep too because he sat straight up in bed, obviously alarmed.
"What's wrong?" He asked frantically. "A nightmare?"
"Yes." I said, burying my face in my hands and leaning up against Peeta's chest. He held me there for a few minutes as I cried.
"Are you alright?" He said. His voice was soft and soothing.
"I think so." I said, still a little shaken. I looked at my hands; there was no blood. The room was quiet and warm.
"And the baby?" He said
I took one of his hands and put it on my belly where I had felt the baby kick just a moment earlier. It kicked again, right under his hand. He smiled, though the smile was tinged with some worry.
"It's probably not good for it – for me to get so upset." I said. "I can't control my dreams though."
"That's true. All you can do is calm down once you are awake." He said. "You do seem to be calming down. Do you want to talk about the nightmare?"
"I think I was dying in it." I explained.
"Dying how?" Peeta asked.
"I think I was bleeding to death. I was in pain. I think it was in the arena."
Peeta put his hand on my shoulder, urging me to lie back down. He looked at me lovingly as he put his hand back on my belly. The baby was quiet though.
"It sounds awful. It must be hard for you to deal with your nightmares and worry about the baby too"
"This one was so scary, Peeta." I said, starting to feel more anxious again, "there was a jabberjay in it …and all this blood…but water too, I think…and I was lying down but sort of trying to roll up sometimes…I kept having these awful pains, but they weren't all the time…just sometimes…and they kept getting worse…" I stopped. Peeta stared at me; he looked ghostly white.
Oh, how I could have been so stupid, I thought. The dream is about the baby…having the baby. Poor Peeta. He'll never sleep tonight after this.
"That doesn't sound like the arena." He said as he looked down.
"Peeta, it was just a dream." I reassured him.
He was quiet, looking at my belly. He rubbed his hand across it gently.
He looked up at me slowly. His blue eyes seemed deeper, darker, and sadder. "I don't want to lose you, Karniss. I don't want to lose either of you." He said.
"Nothing bad will happen to us, Peeta. I promise. We're going to be fine." I said. "Having a baby is a natural process."
"Yes, but problems do happen. Remember what happened to Delly?" He whispered.
"Problems only happen occasionally." I said, trying to sound comforting. "I'm not afraid, Peeta."
He nodded, but still looked dejected. Since his hand still rested on my belly, I placed my own hand over his. Then I started to sing a lullaby for our baby. It was for Peeta too.
(Point of View: Peeta)
Katniss didn't get pregnant that first month, or the next one, or the next one. She got pregnant though. She didn't need any medical help to do it. She was very pleased. Although it was ridiculous, Katniss seemed to think that being able to get pregnant without assistance made her less "damaged." The truth was that I didn't consider her "damaged" in the first place!
I began to wonder about being a father. I thought of my own father often. I missed him so much, especially during that time. I wished I could seek his advice. He was a good man and a good father. I hoped I'd be like him. I thought about my mother too. She was my mother, but she was wrong in how she "disciplined" my brothers and me. I hoped Katniss and I would do better.
(Point of View: Katniss)
I tried really hard to stay positive about life in general, not just the pregnancy. Some days were harder than others. I forced myself to get out to the house more. I talked to people more. I went to town to the market. I occasionally helped Peeta bake, although I was a terrible baker! Actually, I was a terrible cook too, but I tried to improve. I spent time with Sae and Delly. I helped Haymitch with his growing goose flock. On really tough days when it seemed hard to enjoy anything, I started playing a game in my mind. I tried to think of all the good and kind acts I'd seen people do. If necessary, I said the good things aloud or wrote them down. It was surprisingly calming.
"Peeta gave me bread. He saved my life."
"I volunteered as tribute in place of Prim. I save her life, at least for a while."
"Haymitch found sponsors for Peeta and me even though our situation seemed hopeless."
"District 11 sent me bread even though they had so little. They cared about me and wanted to thank me."
"Tresh spared my life in thanks for what I did for Rue."
"Peeta offered some of our winnings to Rue and Tresh's families."
"The other victors protected Peeta and me in the clock arena."
"Prim took care of people in District 13 – total strangers. She loved them like friends and neighbors."
"Peeta chose to warn District 13 about the attack even though he knew he'd suffer for it."
"Haymitch waited by my side after Peeta hurt me, so I wouldn't have to wake up all alone."
"Gale chose to help rescue Peeta from the Capitol. He may have done that for Peeta, or he may have done that for me. Either way; it was kind and brave."
"Sae and Haymitch took care of me when I couldn't take care of myself."
"Peeta chose to come back to District 12 because he loved me."
"Peeta hasn't given up on me."
I tried hard not to give up on myself…I could no longer afford to do that…not with a baby coming.