Elizabeth can feel the cold as she sits up in her bed. Every part of her hated this disease. She's weaker than she's ever been, sicker than she can ever remember herself being, and her children are the most affected. Cameron should be at Princeton, fulfilling his dreams, but he's here instead, playing parent while she's ill. She wanted so much for her children, but now some of it won't come true because they were too focused on her. Picking up the mirror from the side table, Elizabeth takes a deep breath.
"You'll beat this. You're stronger than you think. You will survive." Elizabeth tells herself aloud. "You're a survivor. You've survived too much to give up now. You're strong. You'll beat this. You have to beat this."
"Don't forget you're a fighter." Johnny voices, walking over to sit next to her on the bed, facing her. "And beautiful. And phenomenal."
"And you're biassed." Elizabeth laughs softly, setting down the mirror. "I thought you left already."
"Nah." Johnny shakes his head. "I just had to make a few calls to get the paperwork sent to Sonny."
"Ah, okay." Elizabeth smiles slightly. "I take it your meeting with Sonny went better than expected?"
"We reached an agreement." Johnny concedes. "Its only the beginning though."
"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work." Elizabeth assures, knowing how much Johnny wanted this to pan out. "Got any plans for tomorrow?"
"Depends." Johnny takes her hand in his. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"
"Christmas shopping." Elizabeth concedes. "They're releasing me in the morning and I really want to get it done."
"Christmas shopping it is then." Johnny says without hesitation. "I still have a few more people left to shop for."
"Mom?" Jake says from the doorway. "Emma said you were looking for me."
"I was." Elizabeth confirms, prompting Johnny to stand up. "We need to talk about some things."
"I'm going to head out." Johnny says as he grabs his jacket. "Do you want me to pick you up here or at your house?"
"Here." Elizabeth hands him his gloves. "I should be discharged by eleven."
"I'll be here." Johnny assures, shaking hands with Jake before leaving.
Jake knew what the conversation would be about and a part of him wanted to tell his mother not to waste her breath, but he couldn't. He owed it to her to hear her out and to really listen to what she has to say. Everyone thinks that he should be angry with his mom because she had a part in his father not being in their lives, but he just couldn't. No matter what anyone thinks of her, she's his mother and she's been here from the start. Even when he was angry with her for her part in it, she didn't waver. She stood by him, telling him whatever he wanted to know, and exuding more patience than he would have given the situation. His mom's his rock and he'll never turn her back on her.
"Talk to me." Elizabeth says softly, taking his hand in hers. "What's going on with you?"
"I'm up for valedictorian of the junior class." Jake concedes, knowing that wasn't what she meant. "I'm currently up against two people."
"That's amazing." Elizabeth smiles, knowing that he has been top of his class since the sixth grade. "You know I'm proud of your dedication to your school work."
"But its not what you meant." Jake sighs, running his hand through his hair. "What do you want me to say?"
"Whatever you want." Elizabeth says simply. "I'm not going anywhere."
"He wants to help us." Jake finds himself saying. "He's acting like a father should, but why now? Why, after all these years, does he want to play daddy?"
"I know its been hard without him and you won't believe me when I say this, but Jason does love you." Elizabeth says with conviction. "I'm not saying to forgive him, but I am saying to hear him out."
"Why?" Jake counters. "What could he possibly say to justify everything?"
"You'll never know until you talk to him." Elizabeth throws back. "As much as you want to deny it, you and your father are so much alike. If anyone will understand him, its you."
"I don't want to understand." Jake sighs, knowing that she was going to get through to him and wishing she wouldn't. "I just want him gone."
"He's your father." Elizabeth takes a deep breath, feeling the fatigue coming on. "You only get one and he's yours. For better or for worst...he's the only one you'll get."
"Don't remind me." Jake groans, knowing that he's going to have to talk to his jackass father. "Will it make you happy if I talked to him?"
"It doesn't matter how I'll feel about it...it matters what you'll feel." Elizabeth shakes her head. "If you talk to him, do it for yourself and not because I suggested it."
"Okay. For you...I'll think about it." Jake knows he'll talk to his father because of her, but he'll humor her. "I should get going. Aunt Sarah's dropping Lily home soon."
"You know I love you, right?" Elizabeth says as Jake stands up. "You, Cam and Lily...you're my whole life."
"I know mom." Jake leans over, kissing her forehead. "I love you too!"
Walking out of his mother's room, Jake makes his way to the waiting area. Emma still hasn't come to see him and he figures he'll find her there. Cameron's staying the night at the hospital so he won't mind Jake taking the car for the night. Getting to the waiting area, Jake found her sitting on a chair.
"You ready to get out of here?" Jake asks, helping her stand up.
"Sure." Emma says, following him to the elevator. "Can I crash at your place tonight?"
"Don't see why not." Jake shrugs, hitting the down button. "And we're going to talk about you lying to me."
"Lying?" Emma says innocently.
"I know you didn't stay behind to talk to your mom." Jake says simply. "I saw her walking down the hall as I was going into my mom's room."
"Sorry?" Emma smiles sheepishly. "I'm still your best friend."
"Like I said...we'll talk about it." Jake gestures for her to get on the elevator, following suit.
Jason got into his office, he had a lot of changes to make. With his confrontation with Sam out of the way, he had two more people he had to talk to. Carly withholding the information wasn't much of a surprise, though he thought she'd grow up by now and get over this hatred she holds towards Elizabeth. Spinelli was a different story altogether. It wasn't that much of a surprise seeing as he's always wanted him and Sam together. Still, one fact stands, Jason had a lot of changes to make if he's going to get his children back.
"You beckoned for the Jackal?" Spinelli says, walking into the office.
"Sit." Jason says, standing up. "I'm going to ask you this once and only once. You better not lie to me."
"Of course." Spinelli says without hesitation. "Ask away Stone Cold."
"Why didn't you tell me about Elizabeth's cancer?" Jason eyes him intently, watching his reaction.
"I...well...you see..." Spinelli sighed, slouching on the chair. "The Goddess requested that I leave the revelation to the Valkyrie."
"Sam told you not to tell me?" Jason hadn't expected that, but found it to be more understandable than Spinelli just not telling him. "I'll only say this once. You want to stay on my good side, stop listening to Sam."
"Vibrantly noted, Stone Cold." Spinelli shakes his head quickly. "The Goddess's orders are to be ignored."
"Go." Jason says, watching him leave before answering his cellphone. "Yeah?"
"Its me." the voice replies. "You busy?"
"Elizabeth." Jason's a little surprised. "How're you doing?"
"I'm better." Elizabeth admits. "I'm being released tomorrow."
"That's good." Jason sits up straight. "Do you need anything?"
"No. I've got everything I need." Elizabeth assures, angling the bed so she's sitting up slightly."But I'd like to talk to you if you're not too busy."
"I can talk." Jason says without hesitation. "I'm sorry for...well, everything."
"I know." Elizabeth knew better than anyone what's brought them to this point. "We really let things get out of hand, didn't we?"
"Yeah." Jason agrees. "I honestly don't know how we let it get this far."
"Me either." Elizabeth sighed. "We always knew the business would affect our children. I guess we both didn't know just how much."
"If I could go back and change it all I would...in a heartbeat." Jason ran his hand down his face. "In trying to protect them, I've screwed up worse than I thought possible and its all on me."
"Its never too late." Elizabeth says softly. "As long as we're all alive...its never too late to make things right."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For not saying, I told you so." Jason knows that he deserved it. "And for not making excuses for me."
"You told me not to." Elizabeth reminds him. "Sooner or later you're going to have to explain to them why you removed yourself from our lives. You know that right?"
"I know." Jason wasn't looking forward to it, but he knew he'd have to. "I want to do it my way, if you don't mind."
"Of course not." Elizabeth smiles slightly. "Just remember, you're their father. No matter how bad things have gotten, that still means something to them."
"It means everything to me." Jason says, though he knows she understands. "I hope you know that if I knew about your cancer five months ago, I would have been there for you."
"I know." Elizabeth assures. "Things work out how they're supposed to, right?"
"I guess." Jason didn't really believe that anymore. "You should get some rest...thanks for calling."
"At the end of the day, we're still friends." Elizabeth says with conviction. "Good luck, Jason."
"Thanks." Jason takes a deep breath. "I'm going to need it."
Making sure Lily ate dinner and was in bed by her bedtime, Jake waited for Emma to be done showering before taking a long hot shower. By the time he was done, Jake found Emma sitting on the couch in the living room with the photo album dated this year on her birthday.
"This has to be my favorite birthday thus far." Emma comments as he sits down. "Other kids usually hate sharing their birthday, but I've always loved that me and your mom are born on the same day."
"It saves us from having more than one party." Jake agrees. "But you're right...this birthday was the best."
"She doesn't even look sick." Emma turns the page as Jake scoots closer to her. "I've always admired how beautiful she always looks no matter the situation."
"You're beautiful too." Jake points out.
"Sure." Emma shakes her head, turning the page. "You always say that."
"Hey." Jake uses two fingers to make her look at him. "I say it because its true. Stop doing that to yourself."
"Doing what?" Emma eyes him intently.
"You know what." Jake says sternly. "You're beautiful. You always have been...you always will be."
"Okay." Emma smiles slightly. "If I'm so beautiful, why don't guys look at me the way they look at Jocelyn?"
"Because you're not a slut." Jake snaps, dropping his hand. "You're not a blonde bitch that goes off her looks. You're more than any of them can handle."
"Need I remind you that you used to want Jocelyn?" Emma pointed out. "If she wasn't with Spencer, you'd be with her."
"That's only because..." Jake stopped himself, turning away from her.
"Because what?" Emma eyes him intently. "Tell me."
"It doesn't matter." Jake states, standing up to put away the album.
"Don't do that." Emma turns him around to face her. "Not with me."
"This can't happen." Jake says seriously, staring into her eyes. "You're my best friend."
"And you're mine." Emma says without hesitation. "So just tell me."
"I don't want anything to change between us." Jake takes a deep breath. "I can't lose you in my life."
"That'll never happen." Emma promises. "Jake...just tell me."
"If I do this...if I tell you and you don't feel the same way..." Jake reaches up, brushing the back of his fingers against her skin. "I don't want to risk it."
"Tell me." Emma leans into his touch. "I'm not going anywhere."
Taking a deep breath, Jake drops his hand. "I only wanted her so she could distract me from you." Jake admits, nervous to the bone. "I want you, Emma, and I don't know what to do about it."
"Maybe we can figure it out." Emma suggests, taking his hands in hers. "Because I want you too. I have for a really long time."
"So what now?" Jake asks, stroking her hands with his thumbs. "Do we try?"
"I want to." Emma admits. "Do you?"
"More than anything." Jake says without hesitation. "I just don't want to mess up our friendship if it doesn't work."
"Whether it works or not...we'll always be best friends." Emma says sincerely. "We're going on twelve years...nothing will change that about us...we'll always be best friends."
"You promise?" Jake stares into her eyes. "Promise me that nothing will change."
"I promise you." Emma says solemnly. "Nothing will change if it doesn't work out."
"Okay." Jake lets out a deep breath. "And no more lies."
"No more lies." Emma laughs softly. "I was going to tell you eventually, you know that right?"
"I know." Jake smiles slightly. "But next time, just tell me the truth."
"Okay." Emma shakes her head. "The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so..."
Jake claims her lips, stopping the rest of the oath that is usually recited at court hearings. Emma gave into the kiss, interlocking her fingers at his nape as he wrapped his arms around her. As he kisses her, Jake's arm instinctively flexes, holding her tightly against him. He has wanted to do that for so long. When air became necessary, they pulled away, laying their foreheads against each other's.
"No more lies." Emma whispers. "I promise."
"And I promise not to shut you out." Jake takes a deep breath. "Well, I'll try not to."
"Okay." she smiles, knowing that he couldn't help it sometimes.
"Okay."
A/N: Thanks for the reviews.
Let me know what you think.
-ROCkER