I haven't seen or heard from Elena since the night of Stefan and Caroline's engagement, almost two weeks ago.
I stopped by the coffee shop after my therapy session last week, only to find out that she had traded shifts with some guy and wasn't there. I tried not to read too much into the fact that she didn't let me know, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little hurt by it, then I had to remind myself that she doesn't owe me anything
I'd also be lying if I said that I wasn't starting to miss her like crazy, I know in the grand scheme of things two weeks isn't very long, but apparently I've gotten used to our weekly visits and daily phone calls.
Although knowing this did not stop me from making one stupid decision after another, After my session with Dr. Jackson two days ago I headed straight for the coffee shop but something stopped me, my inner child kicked up and said 'if she doesn't want to see me then I don't want to see her' and I turned around and headed for the subway. Now we're stuck in this weird who should make the first move phase
It's all very silly especially when I know I'm the one that needs to make the first move.
From the moment we met I've done nothing but reel her in only to push her away again, I can't blame her for not coming back for more.
I mean for god sake's the girl gave me a chance to tell her how I felt and I practically handed Liam to her on a silver platter…
As if her ears were burning, my phone rings and her name flashes across the screen, I reach over for the remote and silence my TV before answering her call
"Hello"
"Hey, long time no see stranger"
"Yeah, I came by to see you last week but you weren't there"
"Oh yeah, I'm sorry… that's uh, that's actually kind of why I'm calling, I got called in for a last minute job interview last week, and well, I must've done something right cause they offered me the job"
"'Lena, that's amazing" I suddenly feel really stupid for thinking she had blown me off for no reason
"Yeah, I wanted to tell you in person but you didn't come this Wednesday" I catch a hint of sadness to her tone
"Oh yeah, I'm sorry, that was… well that was just me being dumb" I chuckle, feeling like a complete jackass
"What else is new" she chuckles
"Keep it up Gilbert" I warn
"Or what?"
"I won't take you out to celebrate"
"Well that's actually my second reason for calling; Caroline invited a couple people out to celebrate at the vault tonight I wanted to invite you"
"Oh, um… " part of me wants to think of some reason why I can't go because I can't imagine being back in that bar with her but another part of me, the bigger part really wants to celebrate with her "Yeah I'll be there"
"Ok good, see you tonight then"
"Yeah, see you tonight" I say before disconnecting our call
The bar is just as crowded as it was the night of Stefan's birthday; I scan the room for a familiar face and spot Stefan and Caroline sitting on a couch in the corner with a few other people I don't know
"Hey guys" I say and sit down next to Stefan
"Hey" they greet
"Damon, this is Jessica, Bonnie, and Amber; they all work with Elena at the coffee shop" Caroline introduces
"Hey guys" I smile
"Hey" they say in unison, Jessica smiling flirtatiously at me
"I went ahead and ordered you a bourbon neat" Stefan points to a tumbler on the table
"You're a good man brother" I grab it and take a sip "where's Elena?"
"At the bar" Caroline answers
"Damon!" Elena exclaims from behind me
"Or, she was…" Caroline mumbles
I stand up to greet her and she throws her arms around my shoulders, at first I'm stunned by her actions but after a moment I embrace her back, I look up and spot Liam standing behind her looking a hundred different kinds of uncomfortable so I pull away from her
"Hey drunkie" I tease
"I am not drunk" she pouts "just a little buzzed"
"Ok, whatever you say" I laugh "Hey, we haven't met yet, I'm Damon" I hold my hand out to Liam, if I have to be here with him I might as well be cordial
He accepts it and shakes my hand "Hey, I'm Liam" he introduces himself
"Nice to meet you" I do my best to smile nicely
"Yeah" he nods; clearly he's not a fan.
I take another swing of bourbon and sit back down next Stefan
"Did you meet everyone else?" Elena asks as Liam wraps his arm around her waist, it takes everything in me to not smack his arm away
"Yeah" I nod
"So what do you do for a living Damon?" Jessica asks
"Uh, I'm a lawyer" I decide to go with the short answer
"But not a practicing one" Elena adds and I give her a pointed look
I knew Elena was buzzed from the moment she walked up, but her words still surprise me
"Oh why's that?" she asks
"Just taking some time off" I shrug, looking down at my empty glass "look at that, I'm fresh out, time for a refill" I stand up and turn towards the bar
"Buy a girl a drink?" Jessica says from behind me
I'm not even sure that I have a type but if I do Jessica is the farthest thing from it, but I can't bring myself to shut her down in front of everyone "Oh um, sure"
"What'll it be?" I ask her as we reach the bar
"Vodka Cranberry" she answers, typical…
"One vodka cranberry, and a bourbon neat" I tell the bartender
"So are you and Elena like a thing?" she asks
"A thing?" I chuckle "No, we're not, what made you think that?" I shake my head
"I mean I know she's here with Liam but I just thought I picked up on a little bit of a vibe, but I'm glad you're not" she smirks, and shifts so her breasts are touching my arm
Thankfully the bartender returns with our drinks giving me an excuse to move away from her, when we get back to our group I notice Stefan and Caroline have moved to the dance floor, so instead of sitting where she was when I got here Jessica sits next to me
I look over at Elena just in time to see her lean down and press a chaste kiss on Liam's lips and I snap
I lift my glass of bourbon to my lips and drink it down in two gulps before reaching for Stefan's and doing the same
"I like a man that can hold his alcohol" Jessica smirks
"Wanna dance?" I ask
"Sure" she holds her hand out to me. I help her up and lead her onto the dance floor, out of the corner of my eye a catch Stefan glaring at me
When we reach the center of the dance floor I pull her back against my front and she starts rolling her hips
Don't get me wrong, Jessica is a pretty girl, long tanned legs, bright blue eyes, and bleached blonde hair, but it's just all wrong. I should be attracted to her, but instead all I can think about is Elena and I dancing on this very dance floor, how free and beautiful she looked, and how her long brown hair was in these wavy curls, so effortlessly beautiful. The way her ass rolled against me, these thoughts have me instantly hard, and Jessica notices, she starts grinding into me harder, and I feel guilty, I shouldn't be thinking about Elena right now, Jessica doesn't deserve that… nobody does.
I should tell her that I'm sorry, I should go home, but instead I look over at Elena and see her dancing on Liam just as she did with me the night that everything changed, and something inside of me snaps again, I grab Jessica's wrist and spin her around so she's facing me, I cup her face in my hands lean down and kiss her.
Just as I'm about to deepen the kiss I feel someone tap on my shoulder, When I look up Elena is standing there with a hurt expression
"Can I please talk to you outside?"
I look back at Jessica whose glaring at Elena
What the fuck am I doing…? Clearly I should not be allowed to consume alcohol at this bar.
I can't seem to find any words so I just nod and follow her out the door, leaving Jessica behind
"What the hell was that?" she asks once we're outside
"I was dancing" I shrug, playing the innocent card
"Oh please, you were practically dry humping" she scoffs
"Oh right… because you and Liam were as innocent as a 50's sock-hop" I roll my eyes
"This so typical" she shakes her head
"What is?" I scoff
"This is what you do Damon, you get upset and lash out at everyone until you've destroyed everything, but I'm done! I can't do this anymore!" She shouts
"Elena…"
"I get that you've been through a lot Damon and I respected that, you told me that you couldn't be with me and I accepted it, I didn't like it but I accepted it, and I wanted to continue being your friend but then you come here and kiss Jessica in front of me, why are you so set on trying to hurt me? Friends don't do that Damon"
"Shit Elena, that wasn't…"
"Am I really that bad?" she interrupts
"What…"
"If you just didn't want to be with me you should have told me, you shouldn't have given me some speech about timing, and how if things were different we would be different"
"They would be!" I shout
"Then why were you just kissing Jessica!"
"Because you were kissing Liam!" I snap "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, seeing you with him…" I sigh "I didn't think"
"You don't get to do that" she shakes her head " you don't get to tell me that you can't be with me and then get mad when you see me with someone else"
"You don't think I know that! I don't want to be jealous Elena, I've never been that guy but tonight, you and him…I couldn't control it"
"Oh my god! You told me you couldn't be with me, so when Liam asked me to dinner for the 100th time I said yes, because I thought hey, here's a guy that actually likes me and wants to be with me so I went for it and now you're trying to punish me for it, you're insane!"
"You think this is intentional? I know I told you I couldn't be with you, every fiber of my being is telling me that I need to let you move on without interfering but I still want you" I take a step towards her "I'm confused Elena, this is all new territory for me. I'm still grieving Andie, but more often than not I find you plaguing my thoughts. I think about hugging you and kissing you, some days I spend hours just wishing I could hold your hand… I want you Elena, and I guess I'm tired of pretending that I don't" As soon as the words leave my mouth I'm shocked that they did
She seems to be processing my words because she doesn't say anything for awhile
"So what, I'm supposed to bail on a Liam for you, they guy who left me crying alone in my bedroom, and whose hot one second and then cold the next… I can't do that Damon" she shakes her head
"I'm sorry Elena… I know I've gone about everything the wrong way, it's just that what I feel for you is so strong that it terrifies me, I kept asking myself how I could do this to Andie, or what will people think when she hasn't even been gone that long, so it was just easier to ignore it and push you away. Then Stefan came to me with his plan to propose to Caroline and he was scared of what people would think and I told him that it didn't matter, that all that mattered was their happiness and I don't think I realized how true that is until now… there isn't a handbook on how to handle this, there is no step by step guide on how long a widower needs to take before moving on. All I know is that I like you, and you make me happy, and I want to make you happy… God Elena, I don't think you realize that if I could dedicate my life to making you smile I would"
She shakes her head as tears fall onto her cheeks "You say that now…" her voice cracks "but you've been drinking and what about tomorrow… I can't trust you Damon"
"I know" I nod "I've given you a million reasons to doubt me, but I'm ready Elena. I'm done giving you emotional whiplash, and I don't expect for the damage I've done to go away over night but I promise that from here on out I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust" I take a another step towards her but she moves away "Please Elena" I plead
She closes her eyes and take a few deep breaths before looking back at me "I sorry" she shakes her head "I can't"
Without another word she turns around and heads back into the bar.
AN: Hey guys! Thanks for all of your reviews on the last two chapters, you guys are the best! So what do you think Damon's next move will be? Do you think he'll let Elena be or will he continue trying to earn her trust? Let me know your thoughts and ideas in the review box because I love reading all of them! I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! See you next time = )