Back in the day, or I guess I should say back when my life was simple, getting the girl was easy. I would buy her flowers, compliment her smile and her eyes and it was a done deal. Except with Andie, she made me work for it. It was weeks of waiting for her outside of her classes, buying her chocolates and flowers, and showing up at the restaurant she worked at before I finally made a very public speech about how I couldn't go another day without at least having dinner with her, it was borderline stalker material, but it worked, she finally said yes and the rest is history.
None of these things however were going to work with Elena. I could buy her all of the flowers in world, have chocolates imported from Belgium, and spend the rest of my life telling her how beautiful she is and it still wouldn't undo the damage that I have done.
This is why I haven't done any of the above.
So instead of trying to bribe my way back in to her life I did what I knew I had to do, and not just for her, I went back to therapy.
I'm not holding anything back this time; I've jumped in head first, two sessions a week, lots of homework assignments, and lots and lots of talking about feelings, and I have to say…
Why the hell didn't I do this sooner?
All that time I spent mocking the assignments and dissing on therapy is wasted time that I could have been feeling better, feeling how I'm feeling now, but I guess it all had to happen for me to get to the right frame of mind to accept that I needed help, and that I was drowning without it.
It's been a month since I poured my heart out to Elena outside of a New York City dive bar, and I haven't seen or heard from her since.
That night may have been what forced me back to therapy, simply because I wanted to be better for Elena but the more time I spent there the more I realized that I really just wanted to be better for myself.
Don't get me wrong, when the time is right I still want to be with her, but that's just it. The time has to be right.
Dr. Jackson helped me make a goal list so that I don't get overwhelmed by all the things I need to accomplish. This brings me to number three on the list; the reason that I'm sitting in Alaric Saltzman's office, to get my job back
"Damon! It's good to see you man!" He smiles and shakes my hand before sitting behind his desk
"You too, I missed you man!" I don't think I realized how much until just now
"I missed you too buddy"
"So, it looks like you made partner" I add, glancing around his giant office
"Yeah" he nods "Although it wasn't the same without you as my competition" he laughs, back before everything happened we were both in the running for partner "so what brings you here?"
"I wanted to apologize; I kind of just disappeared on you guys, no explanation or anything"
"Yeah, listen I'm really sorry about Andie" he says
"I know" I sigh "what happened was terrible, but I still should have called"
"It's forgiven; don't worry about" he smiles "So where are you workin' now?"
"Uh, well… I'm not" I chuckle "that's the second reason why I'm here; I know I screwed up but I was kind of hoping you guys had an opening?" I ask
"Are you kidding" he laughs "Damon, your name is still on your office door; you think we would risk losing you to the competition" he laughs
"Seriously?"
"Yeah" he nods "it's yours whenever you're ready to come back"
"Thank you" I stand "I'll see you Monday?"
"See you Monday" he nods, just as I'm about to leave his office he adds "I tried calling you Damon, but…"
"I know" I nod "I'm really sorry for how I handled everything, you and I go back to law school, you're one of my best friends and I should have let you be there for me, but if it's any consolation at all just know that I blew everyone off, not just you" I sigh "not that that makes it right"
"You were going through hell Damon, you needed to do what you thought was right, and everyone grieves in different ways… you never need to apologize for that. I'm just glad to have you back man this place sucks ass without you" he laughs
"Good to know" I laugh "thanks for everything Ric"
"Anytime" he smiles
After leaving his office I turn down the hall to my office, a place I haven't been to since before the accident.
Everything is just as a left it, except for a few missing case files; they probably took them to finish out some of my open cases.
On my big mahogany desk there's the Mont Blanc pen my dad bought for me as a graduation present, and a picture of Andie and I from our wedding day…
Just as I'm about to pick it up my phone rings
"Hey Steffie"
"I hate when you call me that" he groans
"Oh, I know" I smirk
"You're such an ass"
"Is that what you called to tell me?" I laugh
"No, I called because we need some help setting up the tables for our engagement party tonight. Are you free?"
"Oh right, that's tonight"
"Seriously… please tell me you didn't forget, you're already on thin ice with Caroline," he warns.
Caroline hasn't exactly been on team Damon since the night at the bar
"Of course I didn't forget, god you're so sensitive lately" I laugh
"No, I just don't find your jokes all that funny"
"I'm already in the city, I'll be there in ten minutes"
"What are you doing in the city?"
"I just got myself a job brother, See you in ten" I disconnect the phone call and exit the building with a proud smirk on my face
"You got your old job back?" Stefan ask
"Yeah, I sat down with Ric and he totally understood everything I've been through and told me that the job was mine whenever I'm ready to come back, which will be Monday by the way" I smile
"Wow" he helps me grab another round table to set up "that's awesome Damon, I'm really proud of you"
"Thanks, I'm actually really excited to get back in the game"
I turn back to grab another table just in time to see Elena and Liam walk through the door. As if she can sense me she looks up and me and smiles, but it's not her usual smile, the one that makes my stomach flip … no, this one is a sad smile that cuts me right to my core.
"Hey Asshole!" Liam shouts at me, breaking my gaze away from Elena
"Liam, no…" she calls from behind
"What the hell are you doing here?" he walks towards me
"Excuse me?" I scoff
"You heard me. You have no business being here"
"Oh really, I have no business helping my brother with his engagement party… if there's anyone out of place here I would say it's you"
"I'm with Elena" he looks at me smugly
"For now…" I shrug
"Guys! That's enough!" Elena shouts
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Liam continues
"I don't know, why don't you tell me what you think it-" I don't get to finish because I'm interrupted by Liam's fist connecting with my jaw
"Liam!" Elena screams
"You stay away from her" he points at me "you're bad news, and I won't ever let you hurt her again"
I gently rub the spot where he hit me. It takes everything in me not to hit him back, but I won't sink to his level.
"So what, you're gonna take on the roll of Elena's body guard now… she's a big girl she doesn't need you to protect her"
"She might not need me to but that doesn't mean I'm not going to, she's mine…"
"That's enough!" Elena moves to stand between us "I'm right here! I don't need you guys to talk about me like I'm not in the room and I sure as hell don't need you guys fighting over me like I'm a piece of property! "
"This asshole needs to learn his place…" Liam Starts
"I said that's enough Liam! Go for a walk and cool down"
He looks at her with a hurt expression on his face "you're seriously going to take his side?"
"I'm not taking anyone's side; I'm asking you to calm down before you do something you might regret…"
"Whatever" he mumbles and turns towards the door
Elena looks around at the room full of people staring at us "The shows over people!" she shouts and grabs my hand leading me out of the room
"Where are we going?" I ask
"You're lip is cut and bleeding"
Once inside of the bathroom she grabs a paper towel, dampens it with water and moves to stand in front of me
"Don't move" she warns as she press the wet towel to my lip, she gently moves it to wipe some of the blood off my chin, I watch her facial expression as she takes in my wounds, and I don't miss the way her eyes linger on my lips longer then they should "God, Damon look at you " she shakes her head
"Who knew tiny Liam could throw a punch like that" I chuckle "So I take it you told him everything…"
"Damon…"
"No, it's good" I nod "I deserved it, the way I behaved that night was all wrong, I literally could not have chosen a worse way to tell you how I felt"
"I just… I wanted him and I to have an honest shot, you know... and I figured that that meant I had to be honest with him; I never thought he would do something like this though…"
I shrug " I can't blame him, I would want to do the same thing to the person that hurt you, in this case it's me, so that makes things a little difficult" I laugh "Like I said, I deserved it"
"You know… I never expected you to respect my wishes, I mean I figured you would eventually… but I thought there would at least be some flowers and chocolate involved" she laughs
"Oh believe me… I thought about it"
"But…?" she asks
"Would it have worked?"
She seems to be thinking about it before she shakes her head
"That's what I thought" I smirk
She smiles back, but it's the same sad smile from before
I place my hand on her cheek and tilt her head up so I can look into her eyes "That doesn't mean that I've given up Elena, or that I've changed my mind. The timing may have been all wrong, but I meant what I said; I want to be with you. I just… I want to be someone who deserves you Elena, and I'm working on it, I started going back to therapy, only this time I'm actually putting the work into it and I feel amazing"
She reaches up and places her hand on top of mine "I'm really glad Damon, but if you're just doing it because of me…"
"I'm not" I interrupt
"Good, I'm really happy for you and I hope you stick with it but you have to know that it doesn't change anything between us" she pulls my hand away from her cheek
"Not yet, but I'm working on it"
"Damon no… you're not getting it…"
"No" I take a step closer to her "You're not getting it. I may have started therapy as a way to get you back but its changed Elena, like I said, I want to be a better man for you but I also just want to be a better man. I don't want to have a cloud of doom hanging over me anymore, I can't live that way, I don't want to, and I don't feel guilty for feeling that way anymore. I just got my job back, and I'm excited. For the first time in almost eight months I'm excited" I smile
She looks at me like she's trying to decide whether or not she believes me
I reach out for her hand and intertwine our fingers "One dinner? Please Elena"
She runs her fingers through her long hair and lets out a sign "And what am I supposed to do about Liam? He's a nice guy Damon"
"I'm sure he is but is that what you really want Elena? A nice guy? Cause I see the way you still look at me and I have to say, people who are happy in their relationships don't look at other people the way you look at me"
She looks down to try and hide the blush on her face, I reach over with my free hand and lift her chin up so she's looking at me "I think you want passion, excitement and maybe even a little danger. I think you want a love that consumes you and no matter how nice Liam is, I don't think he's that guy"
"And you are?" she challenges
I shrug "we'll never know if we don't try"
She looks up at me into my eyes, like she's searching them for answers that I pray they have.
I don't know what she was looking for but she must have found it because she finally says "Ok, one dinner"
"Really?"
She nods
"So I'll pick you up this Friday?"
"Sounds good" she smiles
"Get ready Gilbert cause this date is gonna kick your ass" I tease
"Its dinner" she corrects
"Fine, dinner…" I smirk
We both exit the bathroom at the same time but pause out side on the door "I'll see you back here tonight?" she asks
I nod "yeah, word on the street is that there's going to be a pretty nice party here tonight, who knows maybe there will be gorgeous brunette in a stunning little black dress that will save me a dance" I shrug
She giggles, "I think there's a pretty big chance that that might be exactly what happens"
"So, do you wanna tell Liam or should I?" I tease
"Oh crap," she groans
I rub her shoulder soothingly "don't worry about it right now, just go home, relax, and I'll see you back here later"
"What are you gonna do? She asks
"I'm going to go endure the wrath of Caroline and beg for my forgiveness"
"Good luck" she laughs
"Thanks, see you tonight" I smirk
"Yeah, tonight" she smiles
And it's a real Elena smile, the one that makes my stomach do flips, the one I love.
A/N: Hey Guys! Whoa! I can't believe how long it's been since the last chapter, I feel awful, especially since you guys killed it with the reviews last chapter! You guys are the best readers and the best reviewers, I wish I had a good excuse for my delay but honestly life just got ahold of me and I couldn't find the time to sit down and finish this until today. I'm glad I did though cause I really like the way this chapter turned out. Please let me know what you guys think in the review box below =) Have an amazing weekend everyone!