This is a short one. Sorry. But I'll have a companion fic of sorts that goes with this chapter up soon. Enjoy
There are days when I take pride in my oddities, those qualities that make me not normal even for S.H.I.E.L.D.'s standards. It's what sets me apart and allows for me to be as good in my job as I am now. Like most other operatives, I am trained to be detached, to not allow myself to be vulnerable and to show how I really feel about a situation. However, unlike most S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, there is no off button, no switch that reverses this front of apathy even during downtime. This makes it easy for me to move from place to place and to be given longterm missions.
It is also my downfall.
So while I consider detachment a blessing most days, I am cursing it today.
Love is complicated and that's a well-known fact. Yet, despite its volatility, just the knowledge that you love her and that she loves you back is enough to give you the strength to make this vulnerable, unpredictable relationship work.
However, when you fear attachment the way I do and seek to disguise emotions under the carefully crafted façade of snarky quips, sarcastic replies and the every present smirk, you do not even have that reprieve to look forward to.
Love is complicated and messy yet Clint Barton wishes that he wasn't too darned shy to tell her just those three precious words before he saw her eyes close.