Argh. I don't know what I'm doing. With my life. Anymore. o.O Oh holidays, how you make me hate myself.

I would like to take this time to pre-apologize for the shortness and utter lameness of this chapter. Cause it really sucks.

K. Go enjoy.

Breakdown

Chapter 40: Free

James frowned as he was pushed down the hall in his wheelchair. He hated the whole wheelchairs-being-a-regulation-no-matter-how-fine-you-are thing. He was fine. But it didn't matter. And now he looked like an invalid in front of the entire waiting room.

But James couldn't stay mad for too long. Once checked out, he could abandon the useless wheelchair and walk. Walk right out of the hospital, for the first time in almost two weeks.

James was thrilled to be out at long last. He'd almost forgotten what LA looked like on the outside of this dreary place. The outside world, where people walked by themselves, and smiled, and lived happily. So unlike the white room he'd been confined to for what seemed to him like forever.

But another part of James was very upset. He got to leave the hospital, only to also leave the Palm Woods in a few days. And he thought it was going to be weird getting back out into LA. Minnesota was going to feel alien to him.

Ultimately, though, James thought maybe this was a good thing, leaving. Not quitting, really, since they'd been pretty much fired by Griffin. Given up on, would be more precise. And even though that was nothing to brag about, at least James and the guys didn't have to say they were quitters. Hawk may have damaged them real bad, but he never forced them from town, never scared them away from the music industry. And even though James still shook with rage when he thought about the vile man, he was glad he could say he hadn't given up on Big Time Rush. None of them, even after everything they had gone through.

Which was exactly why James thought them leaving this town and going back home may not have been such a horrible, devastating thing. Everything they had been through. It was time for a break. A well earned, desperately needed break. It was just the fact that it may very well and probably would be a permanent one that soured James' feelings about the whole deal.

But he hadn't expected to become famous in the first place. None of them had. So maybe, just maybe, with a little hope and luck, another new beginning was on the horizon.

"Ready, sweetie?"

James blinked himself out of his reverie and glanced up at his mother. The release forms were passing from her hand to the receptionist's. He was good to go.

James smiled. And for once, it wasn't forced. Despite everything that had gone down, everything that was still to come, he actually felt somewhat happy. And while he knew that this blessed feeling would more than likely be dissipated in a few hours, for now, it was enough to get him by.

The Palm Woods looked nicer than it ever had to James. The palm trees looked taller, the grass in front looked greener, the pool looked more inviting, and the lobby looked cheerier. All just a reminder that it wasn't going to be part of their lives anymore.

"Well, here we are," Logan murmured as they made there way through the main entrance. He sighed, just soft enough that no one would hear him. He was really going to miss this place.

"Just like old times," Carlos added. Then, "Well, sorta. Actually, no, not at all. We're missing Kendall."

Jennifer winced. It was all she could do not to think about her son, how he was faring. Impossible not to play scenarios in her mind over and over again. She was going to lose it, she really was.

The group headed up the elevator, Kendall-less, none of them speaking. Too many thoughts. No way to put all them into words.

It seemed to take a long time to get to 2J, but get there they did, and Mrs. Knight unlocked and opened the door.

Instantly James was replaying memories in his head, ones of all the great times he'd had in here with the guys. He knew he was lucky enough to get to take those memories with him back home, probably the only thing he could keep, but it wouldn't be the same. They could never relive those moments. The memories would hurt him more than anything else.

Logan got a flash of memory, too. But unlike James, his wasn't of happy times. His recollection was chilling, of the only truly horrible thing to happen in 2J. All at once Logan could envision Hawk, standing there in the middle of the kitchen, eying the knife in Logan's hand. The same memory that had plagued Logan every time he entered the apartment since the day it happened. And like every other time, Logan barely managed to hide a shudder. Maybe he'd start having creepy flashbacks and nightmares like James and Carlos, and wouldn't that be a disaster?

But Logan could hold himself together. He had to. And he would.

Suddenly James laughed. It was unexpected, and it freaked the others out. What could possibly be funny?

"It all seems so wrong. Like I shouldn't be here," James explained without prompting. "Like I wasn't ever gonna come back here again. I guess we should be enjoying our last few days while they last. But that's not going to happen, is it?"

The question made everyone uncomfortable. Of course they weren't going to be able to enjoy their little bit of remaining time. If Kendall were there, then yes, maybe. It wasn't that they were leaving. It wasn't that the band was done. They'd come to terms with that. It hadn't been easy, but they had. What it was that was going to make cherishing these last few days so impossible was them not all being together.

None of them knew about Officer Gerald's undercover assignment. If they had, they'd all be hoping and wishing and praying that by the time seven o'clock rolled around, the possibility of Kendall being with them would stand a chance.

"Show time."

Officer Mills nodded at her partner as she placed the final item in her large black purse. "You know, this almost feels more like a stakeout than an undercover assignment. A very public stakeout." She made sure to keep her voice low as she and Officer Gerald sauntered into Cafe La Boheme.

Gerald smiled grimly, adjusting his tie quickly and fluidly. "Whatever it takes to catch this guy."

The partners were escorted to their table by the waiter who assumed they were a married couple out for dinner. Just as everyone else in the restaurant would figure. Nothing at all odd or unusual about it. And nobody, not even Hawk, would recognize Gerald as the electrician who'd secretly tapped into his office's phone lines.

The two undercover officers took their seats at the elegant table and nodded their thanks to their waiter who informed them that he would be back in a minute to take their orders.

"And what exactly are we expecting to get from this man tonight?" Officer Mills asked her fellow officer as she pretended to study the impressive menu.

Officer Gerald casually glanced around as he answered quietly. "Anything. We may get nothing. But if anything at all seems out of the ordinary, we get closer."

Officer Mills nodded. They had to be sharp. She was used to that. So was Gerald. So were all of their officers, of course. Trained for this.

The waiter returned after only a few minutes as promised, and the personified couple ordered without much thought of what food they were requesting. The waiter scribbled down their orders and was off once more.

Another few minutes later, a thin black man in a grey suit and ever-present dark sunglasses ambled in, a tall, dark-haired man following behind.

Officer Gerald's eyes met those of Officer Mills.

Now it was show time.

"Kendall, man, I hope I ain't like, dampenin' your mood or whatever. I'm just... I didn't even know they told ya these things when you're locked up. Figured findin' out when ya get released would be like additional punishment or somethin'. Ya know?" Hammer sighed. "Guess it doesn't matter anyways; me and him weren't that close..."

Hammer rambled on about how he hardly ever saw his brother, and how even as kids, what with the eleven year age difference, they didn't play together or even ever go to the same school. Kendall didn't pay attention. He didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to hear anything about that man. The man who was responsible for Kendall being here. The man who was at fault for all the shit the other guys were going through.

And now someone was actually mourning his death. And that someone was the person Kendall was stuck with for a while. The brother of Clark.

It was like a horror movie. Just when things can't seem to get any worse, they do. But this was extreme.

Now Kendall was flinching every time Hammer spoke, suddenly so reminded of the guy's evil brother. Kendall kept expecting Hammer to somehow find out the truth about his brother's death, and how Kendall was linked to it, and go berserk and murder him with his ever-loved tool that, in Kendall's horrified reverie, Hammer managed to inexplicably get a hold of.

Worse, Kendall envisioned his cell-mate transforming into his brother, and slowly torturing him until Kendall begged for death by a hammer.

And now Hammer was talking about him non-stop, and Kendall was curled up in the corner of the cell, and he couldn't get out of here, and the guards were looking at him funny and-

"Hey, kid, what's wrong with you?"

Kendall blinked. His chest felt tight. He realized he was breathing harshly, raggedly. Hyperventilating.

"I dunno what happened, I was just talkin' to him. That's all. He's freakin' out, man."

Kendall's breathing slowed as he looked up at the guard. Anyone but Hammer. Any other face, any other voice.

"You alright there...Kendall, is it?"

Kendall nodded weakly, sucking in another breath as his vision cleared. "I'm sorry. I-I'm fine." The full-body tremors, which he only now noticed, lessened. His tightened muscles loosened and relaxed.

The guard inspected Kendall closely for a moment before he spoke again. "We've had people fake panic attacks before so they could try to escape on the way to the infirmary. But I don't think you're one of those guys."

Kendall shook his head. "No. But I don't need to go. I uh..." But Kendall didn't know what to say. He didn't want to be in here with Clark's brother, but he knew he wouldn't be allowed to leave his cell for anything less than a medical emergency. Plus, he had no idea how to explain his mini panic attack.

"How bout I just get you some water?" the guard suggested, and Kendall decided he liked him.

Kendall nodded. "Thank you."

The guard nodded curtly before stalking off to retrieve the water.

Kendall leaned back against the hard bars of the cell, trying to keep his gaze averted from Hammer's, but the other man obviously didn't understand that people want space when they're freaking out. The blonde got up close to Kendall, leaning in toward him.

And then he whispered in Kendall's ear, and Kendall wasn't sure if it was Hammer's chilly breath against his neck or his words that made him shudder.

"I know the truth."

Kendall choked on saliva and air and tried to jerk away from Hammer, but with his back against the corner of the cell, there was nowhere to go.

Instead, Hammer backed away, looking startled.

"Dude, what the hell is the matter with you?"

"J-just stay away from me."

Hammer frowned, hurt and confused. "I just asked what was up with you," he muttered, turning away and collapsing onto the bunk.

Kendall stared at him for a second until he was creeped out at the way his features seemed to meld into Clark's, and he shook his head quickly as he looked away. The guard brought the water, creating a short temporary distraction, and when he took away the empty cup, Kendall mulled it over.

I know the truth.

What's up with you?

Truth. You. Close enough.

Kendall sighed. He wanted to close his eyes, but he wanted even more to watch his back.

Paranoid. That was what he was being. Just a bad case of paranoia. Hammer didn't know, couldn't know. And if he did, surely he'd have already done something by now.

Or maybe he was waiting for the most opportune moment...

Kendall shook his head quickly. No. He couldn't let the paranoia get to him like this. There was no way Hammer was going to find out unless Kendall himself told him. Which was the last thing that was going to happen.

Three days in and I'm already losing it. I'm never going to make it two more months.

Kendall prayed that wherever he was and whatever was happening, Officer Gerald was closing in on what he needed to take Hawk down.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was a quarter to eight, and so far no suspicious activity had roused from Hawk's table at all. It had been forty-five minutes; surely Hawk and his associate weren't going to stay much longer. They were just so out in the open that it was driving the officers insane. They both knew something was going to happen tonight, and they could not miss it.

Officer Gerald was facing the direction of the table, and despite that fact that a giant plant with full leaves was obscuring a good amount of his vision of the subject of this mission, he could see when the waiter headed over to the table with the check.

"I say we should get out of here," Officer Gerald suggested smoothly.

Officer Mills nodded her agreement. The waiter passed their table on the way from Hawk's, and Officer Mills politely asked for their check.

"The service here is refreshingly quick," Officer Mills commented offhandedly, and Officer Gerald knew what she was hinting at. Their food had come impressively swiftly; surely it would take no time for the waiter to return with the check, and the two undercover cops' departure from the restaurant would be timed perfectly; not too far behind Hawk and his associate to lose sight of them, yet not too close to arouse suspicion of their own.

Surely enough, by the time the check had been paid and the officers were pushing in their chairs, Hawk and the other man had just walked out the doors.

"There is no doubt in my mind that they are up to something," Officer Gerald said lowly as they made their way out of the restaurant. He spotted the two men a little ways down the street; fortunately there didn't seem to be many people out tonight, which would make keeping track of them a little easier.

Officer Mills slipped her hand into that of her partner, and the two wandered casually down the road, playing the part of a couple in love, just taking a stroll, should either of the men ahead turn around.

They followed in silence for a minute until Hawk and dark-haired man turned down an alley.

"Where're you going?" Gerald murmured. He took his hand from Officer Mills' and readied his grip on his gun, hidden beneath his jacket in his waistband. A holster would have been too obvious.

Officer Mills reached toward her gun as well, and both officers whipped them out as they turned the corner into the alley.

The two targets were near the end of the alley. Officer Gerald crouched behind the dumpster near the entrance of the alley while Officer Mills stay behind the wall. Gerald watched the men turn left at the end of the alley before waving his partner forward.

Both officers lowered their guns and crept down the alley.

They safely followed Hawk without incident to a fairly large, long-abandoned house that stood alone on its street. All the other houses that used to line the road had burned down long ago in a wild fire, but this particular house hadn't been affected as badly; it had always stood apart from the other houses, and now remained standing as the only house on the rarely used street. And sure enough, this was where Hawk and the dark-haired man left the sight of the officers, as they entered the house.

The officers moved forward, heading silently closer to the house.

The house had been completely dark when Hawk and friend had entered. Now a light went on, emanating from the windows at ground level. The basement. And as luck would have it, two boxes were stacked right up against the shattered window. The small slit of space between them allowed Officer Gerald to see into the basement, but wouldn't allow anyone inside to see out.

And as Officer Gerald knelt low to the ground, he discovered that through the tiny slit, he could see exactly what he needed to see.

The window was broken too, allowing sound to drift out to the officers.

"So sad this is what my life has come to," Hawk was saying to his associate. "Is it not sad, Marco, that my career is no longer about creating fame; rather, destroying it?"

Gerald couldn't see the dark-haired man, now known to him as Marco, but he could hear his suave voice reply "Yes, boss, very sad indeed."

Boss. So this Marco was like a new Clark, the officers realized. Damn, how many of these hench men did Hawk have?

"But I've grown to like this much better than my desperate, failed attempts at beating Gustavo Rocque out of the music business. This is more...fun."

Officer Gerald was disgusted with Hawk's idea of fun. Because this sick "fun" of his was clearly torture. And Gerald knew this because there in the basement with Hawk and Marco, tied to a chair, looking very dehydrated, malnourished, sick, exhausted and scared, was a boy. He could be no older than eighteen, yet he looked so much younger with fear-crazed eyes and his features slightly obstructed by the gag that was silencing him.

Officer Gerald motioned to Officer Mills. She hurried to the front door of the old ruined house. The door was slightly ajar; the house was so damaged it wouldn't close properly.

Officer Mills stepped silently through the house in search for the basement, while Gerald waited outside. As soon as Officer Mills burst into the basement, so would he, via the window. Both exits would be covered.

Officer Gerald continued to listen to the conversation between the two horrendous men.

"I personally never...eliminate...the rival talent. Just rough them up a bit. And this one here-" Hawk patted the restrained teen on the cheek, rougher than necessary, and the boy tried to flinch away. "-hasn't gone big yet. But he's got that star quality to go solo, don't you think, Marco?"

"Yes boss, he does."

"But he refuses to work under my label. Apparently he's heard I have quite a reputation. And not a good one. If I can't have him to mold into a star and build up my cred, no one can."

And then Hawk picked up the knife. He did that just as Officer Mills kicked down the basement door. Just as Officer Gerald swung through the window.

Officer Mills already had her gun pointed at Hawk; Gerald leveled his at Marco.

"Drop the weapon," the female officer ordered.

The knife-wielding Hawk's features morphed from shock to arrogance as he began to speak.

"Or what, Officer? You'll shoot me? Shoot me dead just like you did my former accomplice?" Hawk chuckled evilly.

"Sir, put the weapon down!"

"I don't think that's going to be happening."

"Sir, I will shoot!"

Hawk shot a quick glance at Marco from the corner of his eye. Marco shook his head slowly, and Hawk's face took on a look of rage.

"IT ISN'T READY? !" Hawk roared, and Officer Mills repeated her warning. Hawk completely disregarded it.

"THAT GRENADE WAS OUR TICKET OUT OF HERE!"

"Sir! I suggest you shut up and drop your weapon!"

"YOU FOOL! YOU IMBECILE! YOU-" Too enraged to continued screaming, Hawk instead, quick as a flash, plunged the knife into Marco's chest. Officer Mills' gun went of a millisecond later.

Hawk's lifeless body fell to the floor. He was, in every sense of the word, dead.

Officer Mills moved to untie the hostage, while Officer Gerald took Marco's pulse. It stopped right beneath the cop's fingers. The knife had hit his heart. Dead. Both dead.

Officer Gerald glanced back at Hawk, the blood seeping from the hole in the middle of his forehead. At his still chest. At his already paling face. The cop slid his gun back into his waistband and moved to check Hawk's pulse. As expected, none.

Gerald just stared at the face. The face that had moments ago been sneering menacingly at the teen hostage, now shaking and gasping in Officer Mills' arms. The face that was still scabbed and bruised from Kendall's attack. The face with the eyes that would never open again. Officer Gerald just stared at this face and said one satisfying sentence.

"Exactly like your former accomplice."

"Kendall Knight, come with me please."

Kendall's head snapped up to see the guard who'd given him water yesterday opening the cell door. The young prisoner wasted no time hurrying from the cell and away from...he didn't even want to think about who Hammer was.

But being led by the guard to wherever they were going made Kendall nervous. Hammer had been summoned from the cell only to learn that his...that someone in his family was dead. What is Hawk had gotten to his family, his friends?

The thought hit Kendall so suddenly and so hard that he was about to start crying until he saw Officer Gerald.

Relief suddenly washed over him. Kendall hadn't even heard the words yet, but he just knew they were going to be good.

"O-Officer..."

Gerald nodded at Kendall. "It's done."

Kendall's eyes widened as the meaning of the words dawned upon him, and his knees went weak. Yes. He was right. It was done.

"Hawk is dead. We've discovered more about Hawk's violent background and previous crimes, and due to the nature of his crimes and to your reaction to what he did to your friend, and also due to the crime he was in the process of committing last night, I have managed to coup the sympathy of the Chief. Your sentence has been reduced...to zero days."

Kendall just stared at the Officer as a smile slowly broke onto the older man's face. He hadn't expected this. Not this soon. Hardly at all. Hoped for it, prayed for it, yes. Every hour. And now it was really happening. The enemy was dead. Gone forever. And Kendall was free. He was going home to Minnesota with his friends. He was getting away from the reminder in his cell. Leaving it all behind.

As Officer Gerald smiled at Kendall, and Kendall fell into a chair, and other officers walked around, Kendall blocked everything out and just breathed. Because it was over. For real this time. The person who kept hurting them could never do that again.

He breathed because it was all he could do in this overwhelming moment.

Kendall just breathed because he could; because he was free.

Because they all were free.

So! Novel contest news! Yeaaahhhhh!

For those of you who care, I did...not...go to Ottawa in the top fifty. So. Yeah. That's all I know. Yay.

I know things probably got a bit confusing near the end with the whole scene in the basement, but it'll all be explained next chapter, I promise.

Also, I utterly, totally, and completely bull shitted that entire ending of why Kendall got out. Cause...I didn't know. What else to do. And it's my story. So. This chapter is stupid ahhhhh!

Alright, so I know I've said a bunch of times throughout the course of this story "The next chapter is the last one", "I'm ending this soon" and whatever. But this time I'm serious. Next chapter IS the REAL last one.

So be prepared. I'm sure you'll have a lot of time to do that.

;)