This chapter is dedicated to my mom – who is awesome in every way and never ceases to make me laugh.

Disclaimer: I own only the plot and Excellent Pranks for the Female Race. And Smurfy hair. Gotcha curious now, don't I?

Lily sighed as she lead the way up to the seventh year Gryffindor girls' dorm, Marlene and Hermione trying to hold each other up and walk at the same time. She opened the door and smiled as she wandered over to her bed, plopping down amongst the sheets and groaning, trying to get her muscles to move and take down the ponytail. Alice walked in, dragging her feet over to her own bed where she sat down and stared at her shoes, wondering if there was a spell to get them off her feet. Seeing that there was only two beds left and with no idea whose was now whose, Marlene took the one closest to the bathroom, giving Hermione the one next to the window.

Upon seeing the trunk, she opened it up and smiled down at the uniforms, textbooks and parchment and quills. Sitting atop the neatly stacked belongings, was a note, written in a loopy script.

Miss Granger – I hope that you find your new belongings, and new home, satisfactory.

Professor Albus Dumbledore

PS – I rather enjoy Zero bars now. Use with that information what you will.

Still smiling as she took her hair out of it's unruly up-do, she pulled out the sweatpants and t-shirt and put them on, sliding into bed and sighing as her head hit the pillow. Looking out at the crescent moon, she buried her mouth into the pillow, eyes swimming with tears.

She'd never see Harry again. She'd never see Ron or Ginny or Neville again. She was back in a world where Voldemort was once again at large. Images of Malfoy Manor made her choke back a sob.

"Psst," somebody whispered to her in the darkness, "If you miss them, why not write a letter?"

Hermione smiled over at the voice, even though it was impossible to see in the darkness, "Thanks, Lily."

"Any time, Hermione."

Crawling over to the foot of her bed and lighting her wand with a muttered 'lumos', Hermione dug in her trunk for parchment, a quill, ink, and a book to write on. Crawling back and sticking her wand behind her ear, she dipped the quill in the ink and began to write.

Dear Harry & Ron,

I know that you'll never get this. But this is some sort of therapy for me. Some connection with you two that I'll have while I'm here.

Harry, your parents are wonderful. Your father looks so much like you; he even acted like you a little at dinner. He did the thing you do with your collar when you're nervous. And your mum is an amazing friend, and I think she's getting warmed up to the idea of dating James now. Sirius and Remus are great for laughs as well.

Ron, Fred and George are great for stress relief, as I'm sure you've already found out. They both remind me so much of you – especially when they eat. Do all Weasleys have an absurd appetite, or is it just the males?

Anyway, I just needed to talk to you two. I miss you both so much.

Love always,

Hermione

Examining the letter, she sighed as she folded it up and stuck it in the front cover of the book. Putting the stopper on the ink and the objects on the nightstand next to her, she grabbed her wand and muttered 'knox.' Lying down deeper into the mattress, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Remus sighed into his pillow, dreading the idea of getting up and moving around. He could hear the shallow breaths of the others as they still slept, the rustling of their sheets as they shifted.

This was all disturbed by a loud, feminine scream. He bolted upright the same time James and George did, Fred scrambling for his wand as Peter looked around sleepily. Sirius sat up and then grinned, laying back on his hands.

"Yes," he hissed with a grin, "And that, McKinnon, is why you don't mess with Sirius Black."

"Sirius," Remus frowned, "What'd you do?"

"Oh, nothing," he smiled as he stretched his back out. There was a quick knock on the door and he happily sang out "Come in!"

Lily Evans strode into the room, making James blush slightly and look around for a shirt. Lily was glaring at the four boys she had glared at many times before as she ground out "What – did – you – do?"

"Oh, just leaving McKinnon a 'welcome back to school' present is all," Sirius grinned at her.

"What does Marlene have to do with Hermione's hair turning blue?" she screamed at him. He froze and blinked before tilting his head at her.

"What?"

"Hermione's hair is a bright blue, you git! She's tried everything and it just keeps getting brighter! She's crying her eyes out right now!"

"Sirius!" Remus hissed at him after a shocked silence.

"I thought it was McKinnon!" he hissed back.

"Oh Merlin, of all the things – " George started as he scrambled to find something.

" – to do to Hermione, he had to – " Fred continued, pulling a sweater over his head.

" – go for the hair," they finished together as they walked out of the room, going down the stairs to the Common Room.

"Really, not even getting to classes yet," James muttered as he pulled on his glasses, finally pulling a shirt on.

"I didn't know it was her!" Sirius said once again. "Honest!"

"Let me ask you this, Black," Lily frowned down at him, "What would you have accomplished with turning a girl's hair blue?"

Sirius thought about this for a moment before looking up at her, still from his bed, "A laugh?"

Lily growled at him and got her wand out before walking around in a circle, clutching at her hair and gritting her teeth, "No, Lily, you can't hex him – no matter how much you want to – you can't get any points taken away – bad example – your parents…."

"Err…Lily?" James started.

"Yes, James?" she hissed, rubbing at her temples.

The corners of his mouth twitched, but he continued, "Hermione? Doesn't she need a female figure right now?"

Lily gasped and dashed out the door, leaving the Marauders to sit there and glare at Padfoot – except Peter, who was still snoozing.

"Honestly – what did McKinnon do to you?" James frowned over at his best friend.

"She called me a perfectionist."

"Really?" Remus asked, "Why would you want to turn her hair blue for that?"

"I don't know what that means!"

"It means that everything has to be perfectly in order," James told him as he got up and padded downstairs. "And – in your case with your pranks and stuff – she was completely right."

Remus sighed and got up as well, finding no hope in going back to sleep. He took a pillow off his bed and chucked it at Peter's sleeping form, making him snort and look up dazedly. "Get up, Pete, breakfast."

"Mmkay," he mumbled before stretching out his arms.

"Alright, Padfoot, c'mon – you're going to apologize to Hermione and change her hair back," he told him before he too walked out, not even waiting for him to follow.

George – or was it Fred? – was sitting on the Gryffindor Common Room couch, his arm wrapped around Hermione as her body shook with sobs. Lily was sitting next to her, petting her shoulder and promising that she'd make everything better. Fred – and yes, this was Fred, George's hair was longer – was hanging over the back of the couch, looking at her worriedly, as was Marlene, Alice and Frank Longbottom, Alice's boyfriend. James had stopped and was now wincing over at Remus, who nodded his agreement at how uncomfortable this was. Sirius walked slowly down the staircase, head bent, instead of his usual I'm-going-to-basically-leap-from-the-top-of-the-staircase-and-only-touch-the-actual-stairs-a-total-of-two-times trot, which was where his arms were flailing and his hair was flapping along behind him. James, Remus, Peter and all the other Gryffindors of any year would like to warn you to never stand in front of the stairs or go down the stairs when Padfoot is around. A trip to the Hospital Wing is usually ensured.

Sirius looked like his dog counterpart, looking ashamed as he slumped over to Hermione, whose curls were a bright and vibrant blue, true to Lily's word.

"Err…" he winced, "Hi Hermione. Look, I'm sorry I turned your hair blue."

She picked her head up, her brown eyes red and splotchy and leaking, "Y-you - ?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry – here, I'll change it back right now, see?" he twirled his wand, making her hair jump as it shuddered back to her normal shade, although she hardly noticed, "I was trying to get McKinnon, see, and she usually gets the bed by the window – "

"How do you know that?" Marlene asked, snapping her attention to the boy, her eyes narrowed.

" – And you must've changed beds or something, because it got to you, and I wouldn't do that to you – definitely not when you've done nothing wrong to me and I've just only met you."

Hermione hiccupped, "I – I t-thought y-you liked me, S-Sirius! W-why would you t-try to hurt m-me or m-my friends l-like that?"

Sirius paled and he looked heartbroken, as did James and Remus behind him. She gave a sob again and buried her face in George's chest, having him shush her as Lily glared at them.

"Look, Hermione, we're sorry, we – alright, I didn't mean to hurt you. I promise not to prank you or any of the girls again if I know for a fact that it'll hurt you," he spilled, hardly giving the words a second thought.

She popped her head out of George's chest, beaming at him, "Great! Thanks, Sirius!"

"What?" he blinked, as did the other Marauders – Peter had just walked in and was now looking more confused than ever. Probably at the lack of food in the Common Room. Yeah, probably that.

"Oh honestly – did you really think I'd get that upset over my hair?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him and grinning, "Contrary to popular belief, not all girls obsess over their hair."

"Brilliant, Hermione, well done," Fred and George grinned at her, George giving her a pat on the back from both of them since he was the closest.

"Excellent," Alice nodded her approval as Frank leaned over and gave her a high-five.

Lily, however, was on the floor and clutching her sides as she giggled, probably at the look on James' face – which was a wide and gaping mouth, askew glasses, a twitching hazel eye and a pointing hand. Yeah, probably that.

Remus ran a hand through his hair, a slow grin spreading across his face as he blinked. They'd just been pranked. He felt stupid, mind you, but somebody had just pranked them – The Marauders! Nobody had done that before and succeeded!

"Again, I repeat, Black – how did you know where my bed was?" Marlene growled.

"You – you bloody - ! You pranked us?" Sirius sputtered, looking at Hermione incredulously.

She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow, tapping her fingertips to the pout and hummed, "Why, yes, I do believe I did. Welcome to seventh year, Misters Black, Lupin, Potter and Pettigrew." And with that, she stood up – stepped over Lily – and headed up to the girls' dorm, waving at them before she shut the door.

"B-but…her eyes! She was crying!" James exclaimed, pointing at his own eyes and nearly taking one out.

"M-makeup!" Lily gasped between giggles.

Marlene supplied as well, "And a hot tamale flavored bean!"

"But she started crying again! I saw it! She was crying harder!"

"Probably from trying not to laugh at your faces," Frank grinned, "I know I was having a hard time keeping a straight one."

"Y'know," Sirius said coldly, glaring at Frank, "I could very easily make that into a lewd joke."

"But you didn't," he said cheekily as he wrapped an arm around Alice, "And besides – everyone knows I'm madly in love with Alice, so that wouldn't get very far anyway."

"Exactly," Alice grinned before tilting her head to look up at her boyfriend, "You hungry?"

"Starved. Breakfast?"

"Please." With a wave from the two, they set off for the Great Hall to fill their stomachs.

Sirius growled, his hands flying up to his hair before he spun around and stormed up the staircase. James shook his head, returning his glasses to their perch and heading up after him. Peter, being the one fully dressed, shrugged and headed downstairs to eat, Remus going up after Padfoot and Prongs to change as well.

"She's just – she's a bloody girl! That's what's bugging me!" Sirius said as he chunked a sweater halfway across the room – it would've gone all the way if it were not for James' face stopping it.

"Well, she's obviously smarter than most girls you know then," James said, "'Course, most girls you know probably just want a shag, so…."

"No, no, I mean, c'mon!" he tugged a different sweater over his head, snorting when he realized that it was on backwards, "All I did was turn her hair blue – by complete accident! She didn't have to make me feel miserable!"

"Guilt – woman's gift to mankind," James chuckled as Sirius somehow turned his sweater inside-out now.

"Guys, you're missing the picture here!" Remus interjected as he stepped out of the bathroom, wiping toothpaste foam from his mouth with his sleeve, grinning at his friends, "Somebody pranked us!"

"Yeah, and I hated it!" Sirius barked back.

"No, I mean, think! Nobody else has been able to do that before!" he said as he walked over to his bed and pulled his shoes out from under it, sitting on the side to put them on, "And did you hear her at the train station? She told Fred and George 'no pranking this year.' So they must've been good enough to get a warning from either their mum or her! And the simplicity of it – just pretending to cry with the help of a little makeup, a flavor bean, and a supportive crew! And how did you feel when you found out that a girl who's only around five feet tall had pranked you?"

"Stupid," Sirius grumbled, trying to stuff his head through an arm slot.

"Like I want to get payback," James answered after a moment.

"Exactly! And isn't that the reaction that we've wanted from people for years now? Aside from Lily Evans' occasional suit-of-armor slap?" he was grinning full-force now, looking around for the book he had been reading last night, "And that was just from one girl. Imagine if we got Lily to help us – Alice and Marlene won't do it, hell no, but Lily and Hermione – and if we got Fred and George as well!"

"Whoa, hold up, are you saying that you want to expand the Marauders?" James asked, holding his arms out for emphasis as he arched his eyebrows and blinked at his friend.

Sirius' head had finally found its target, pushing through the collar of his grey sweater – which, incidentally, had been a button-up all along, "Have you gone barking mad?"

"Moony, it was just one prank," James continued, "That might've been a one-time deal."

"Which is why we need to find out more about them – the Grangers, I mean, we already know enough about Lily for her to qualify, right?" he shoved the book in his bag, looking to his friends for confirmation. Upon their hesitation, his cheer deflated and he was left to look between them, "Well…I thought it was a good idea…."

"Hold up, Moony – we didn't say that," Sirius told him, "It's just that – well…."

"We haven't seen you this enthusiastic about a girl before," James shrugged.

Remus huffed, glaring at them, "Mind you, James, I'm not nearly as enthusiastic about you when you get started on about Lily."

Sirius choked back a laugh as James glared back at him. He interrupted before it got into a stare-down, "But, I agree, we're getting a tad bit weak on fresh, new ideas. A few more minds should do the trick, yeah? And, yeah, girls in the Marauders would be a brilliant idea, Moony. I, for one, am getting tired of looking at you three's sorry mugs every time one of us has an excellent idea that needs to be shared."

"No, you can't hit on Lily," James glared at Sirius instead.

"Or Hermione," Remus continued before smirking, "Or Fred and George."

"Oi!" he glared at the grinning teenaged werewolf, "Enough from you!"

James laughed at his two friends, who were getting into ninja-poses, "Alright, enough you two, break it up. Let's go get breakfast."

"Ooh!" Sirius instantly perked up, "Breaky!" He then skipped over to the staircase, singing "The most important meal of the day! Servin' it up, Padfoot's way – YOW!"

"He's always gotta sing that, doesn't he?" Remus said with an amused smile as he and James walked out.

"Apparently," he chuckled.

"Ooh, I nearly forgot," he stopped and turned around, heading for his bed, which had his bag, "You go ahead, Prongs – I'll be down in a mo'."

"Alright," James said with a lazy wave over his shoulder.

Hermione smiled to herself as she brushed her hair back, glad to be free of the blue mess it had been. She wrapped the rubber band around it, struggling for a few seconds with it before it popped into a compliant ponytail with a happy bob to it. She grinned at her reflection before grabbing her bag, heading down the stairs to where Lily had said she would be waiting.

She was detoured slightly, however, whenever Marlene's cat – Hades, of all things – decided to trip Hermione on the last few steps. She tried to avoid the thing, and she did, but instead she tripped over her own feet, sending her flying out towards the ground. She tensed up and closed her eyes, getting ready for impact –

Only one never came. Instead she heard an 'oof!' and things go tumbling towards the floor, and she heard her knee hit the wood when she did hit it, but instead she hit something else, something that was soft and warm and smelled incredible.

"Ow," she and the something – someone – said together, making her sit up and open her eyes.

Remus winced before freezing and looking up at Hermione, who was looking down at him, rubbing her knee with a pained expression.

"Hi," he muttered up at her, his eyes wide.

"Hi," she said back, releasing her knee with a hiss.

"Umm…nice finish," he grinned.

She grinned back, "Thanks. And thanks for keeping me from breaking my neck."

"No problem, s'long as you fix mine," he smiled as they sat up, rubbing at the back of his neck and wincing, "Ow."

"Sorry," she winced as she stood up, carefully extending her leg to test her knee.

"Its fine – the cat's tried to murder everyone once or twice anyway. You've gotten off lucky." He stood up, gripping the corner of the wall for help.

"Have I?"

"Yeah, James was poking the fire once and it jumped on his back then jumped back off and nearly hurtled him in."

"Wow," she blinked as she looked around, noticing their scattered books, "Oh shoot."

"Language," he teased as he scooted his bag towards him, looking at the covers before deciding whether or not they were his or hers. She leaned forward and helped him, passing his books over to him while he did the same.

He stopped, however, while looking at the book in his hand, his gaze intent. He looked over at her, an eyebrow arched, making her notice the slight movement and turn to look at him.

"What?" she asked.

"You read pranking books?" he asked incredulously.

She blanched – she did, in fact, read pranking books. And she couldn't pin the blame on Fred and George – certainly not when the cover said Excellent Pranks for the Female Race. She'd actually told Dumbledore about the book on their way to the Great Hall, while the twins were busy agitating Peeves. He'd smiled and told her that nothing was wrong with a good prank now and again. She'd been shocked to find that the book was in her trunk that morning, visible in broad daylight. She thought it would stay there, in the wooden box, never again to see the sun. And then she'd found her hair a different shade and that was said and done with. While asking the girls for their cooperation on her trick, she'd put it in her bag, intending for a lazy class day.

"Err…would you believe it if I said that I was holding it for someone?" she winced at the stupidity of that.

He arched the eyebrow higher, "Who then?"

"Ahhh…" she trailed off. She didn't know anybody, she remembered. "Crap."

"Yeah, crap," he snorted and rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his face as he handed the book back, "Should I warn Padfoot?"

"Who?" she asked as she put the book back in her bag.

"Sirius. We've all got nicknames for each other. Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail, Moony. The Marauders."

She paused before turning to him, giving her the opportunity to arch her eyebrow, "You are aware that a marauder is a person who raids and plunders, right? So…you're pirates?"

He choked back a laugh, handing another book to her, "No. No, we're definitely not pirates."

"Then what are you?"

He hooked his bag on his shoulder, grinning down at her before helping her up once she'd picked up all her books, "We're just…the Marauders."

"Very descriptive of you," she rolled her eyes, smiling a little.

"Why, thank you. I pride myself on detailing things," he said, walking through the portrait with her. She snorted and he grinned again, the two unknowingly attracting the attention of both the Head Boy and the Head Girl.

Oh yes – seventh year would be very interesting indeed.

Oh Remy – you're so cute and gentlemanly. I just want to squeeze you and hug you and call you Geo – ooh! Georgie! I love you too! Ahem. Anyway – this little plotish thingy is that Remus wants to recruit the Grangers for the Marauders, and finds out more and more about them as the year goes on. So, yeah…I think you get the idea. But, basically, I'm just having fun with this story until it gets to where I want it to get…did that make any sense? I hope it made sense. I need it to make sense.

Reviews are brilliant and I love them. I'd love favorites too. Alerts…favorites…reviews…just let me know that you even like this story. Pleeeaaase? Do it for Georgie?