Alright guys, this is it. The final chapter ever of Breakdown. Finally. And there'll be a long spiel at the end so...

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Breakdown

Chapter 41: New Beginning

Kendall mulled over everything Officer Gerald had told him. The cop was driving Kendall to the Palm Woods in his squad car, and it was no less than a twenty minute drive. Kendall had plenty of time to comprehend it all.

Gerald had told Kendall that Hawk had been shouting something about a grenade before killing his accomplice, Marco. The officers had searched the old house but had found nothing. They could only assume that Marco was supposed to have had a grenade at the ready to blow up the house with after they'd killed the up-and-coming pop star that had been tied up in the basement.

"Our best guess is that when we showed up, Hawk figured they'd just throw the grenade, hope it slowed us down, and they'd try to make their escape," Gerald had explained. "And when Marco admitted he didn't have it ready, Hawk snapped and killed him. I believe he's always been a deeply disturbed man."

As if the boys didn't already know that.

But it didn't matter anymore. Because the deeply disturbed man was nothing more than a corpse now.

"Still processing?" The officer's voice broke into Kendall's thoughts. Officer Gerald's eyes flicked up to meet Kendall's in the rear-view mirror.

"Uh, yeah. It's a bit much to take in," Kendall admitted. "Did you get a hold of my mom?"

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to do that yourself."

Kendall leaned back in the seat and considered. Surprising them by arriving at 2J out of nowhere would be such a great feeling. Besides, they were almost already there. No point in calling.

It was going to be crazy explaining everything to them all when he could hardly wrap his head around it himself. But as long as he'd be with them, he would be just fine.

Kendall smiled. It felt so good to smile again.

"She'll find out soon enough."

James sighed as he stuffed another pair of jeans into one of his eight suitcases, wincing as a wave of pain washed over him. He still got random headaches from the concussion he'd suffered, and every now and then he'd accidentally tug at his stitches if he moved the wrong way, but the pain was manageable. He just had so much stuff to pack and he was getting sore and tired already.

Everything he needed to live was here with him at the Palm Woods. And now it was all being hauled back to Minnesota with him. Where his life would start once again. Back to Minnesota once more. Permanently, this time. Gustavo wasn't going to be coming back for them again. Griffin probably wouldn't even allow it.

James glanced up sadly at Carlos, who was busy in his own little world, mechanically folding clothing items. He was being neat for once, something he only did when he was upset.

"Carlos..."

The Latino boy looked up, attempting a faint smile.

"Yeah buddy?"

But James didn't say anything, simply stared at the pile of belongings on his bed. The bed that was only his for three more nights.

Carlos easily sensed his friend's gloominess and pain and crossed the room to sit on the cluttered bed beside him.

"Maybe you should take a little break," he suggested. "I am, too. My arm's bothering me. I can't imagine how you must feeling."

James just tapped his foot on the floor and remained silent. He stared blankly at his suitcase, looking but not seeing. He fell into a daze. All and any thoughts left his mind, and he just sat there, still as a statue, almost as if he'd fallen asleep with his eyes open. He was so lost in this nothingness that he didn't realize that Carlos had left the room until he heard him shout.

James jolted alert, launching himself off the bed and tottering slightly from getting up too quickly. But he heard more shouts, and he hurried from his room as he regained his balance, and hustled down the hall as fast as he could.

The shouts turned to cheers of joy, and out of nowhere Carlos appeared, grinning widely, eyes lit up with elation. "James, oh man, come quick!"

And Carlos grabbed James by the wrist and led him the rest of the way down the hall.

Before James saw him, he heard a loving "Oh, Kendall" from Mrs. Knight, and he knew.

There, in the middle of a group hug from his mother, sister, James' mother, and Logan, stood the tall blonde, eyes lifting to meet James'. His impossibly large smile grew even more.

Everything was suddenly like a tape on fast forward. There was a swirl of colours and laughs and movement, and the next thing James knew, he was joined into the group hug, all of his pain suddenly gone, and Kendall was speaking from right next to him.

"I wasn't letting you guys leave without me."

No, and they never would have gone without him. Because though they were no longer a boy band, they were still a band of brothers. They'd stuck together, through thick and thin, through the good and the bad, they'd always been together, in Minnesota to LA, and back and forth again. And they were right when they'd always said that nothing was going to stop them. Not even losing their career was going to slow down their lives. It was going to change it, sure, but it wasn't going to end it. And it wasn't going to end their friendship, either. Because the special bond the four boys shared was forever.

From the middle of the circle, Kendall spoke up again.

"I guess I have a lot of explaining to do, huh?"

Everyone, save for Kendall, wore looks of horror as Kendall finished telling them about how he found out that his prison cellmate had been Clark's brother.

"You know, I really hate admitting this, but I was pretty scared."

"I can only imagine," Jennifer gasped, reaching for her son's hand. "If he ever found out...who knows what he would have done. I can't even-" She trailed off, not wanting to think about the possibilities.

"Well, I'm out now, that's all that matters. It's over. Officer Gerald, he...I don't think I will ever be able to thank him properly. What he did for me was just...so... incredibly amazing." Kendall smiled. Even after he'd thanked the cop for what had to be at least the eighth time, the teen still felt like he owed the cop, somehow. Officer Gerald had fought to get that undercover assignment cleared, but in the end, there was nothing more Kendall could do than thank him time and time again. He was leaving this town. No time for favors. Not that the officer would have expected or even allowed that. But Kendall had made darn sure that Gerald knew just how truly grateful he really was, and would always be.

"Anyway," he continued, shaking out of his thoughts. "The really horrible part is how Hawk had a boy in that basement. Officer Gerald can't tell me what the boy said, about how long he'd been there and what Hawk had done to him, but just the fact that Hawk had kidnapped him and was planning on killing him...and all because the kid didn't want to work for Hawk. It's just...so disgusting. Hawk was about to ruin another innocent teenager's life." Kendall sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I wish I would have got to meet that guy."

The other boys nodded in understanding and agreement. That boy could have ended up just like James, for absolutely no reason other than the fact that he unwillingly got involved with the sicko that was Hawk.

Brooke, who had been listening quietly and thoughtfully, broke in. "It's just so sad," she mused softly, a rare tone for her, "that people in this world get away with that. I understand how it feels to be a parent whose child is in that situation. It's the most helpless feeling. I think no one should mourn Hawk."

A heavy somberness settled over the room as everyone silently agreed. Anyone who felt bad about Hawk's death either didn't know the truth about him, or was just as screwed up as he was and probably deserved death as well. Everyone in 2J at that moment felt only relief from the man's life ending.

Kendall sensed the tension in the air. The high of Kendall returning unexpectedly was fading fast, and Kendall didn't want the mood to dampen even further, so he quickly launched into the story of how light he felt when he found out his life behind bars was over.

Jennifer wiped the tears from her eyes at the conclusion of Kendall's story of how he was released. But for the first time in quite a while, her tears were not those of despair; rather, ones of joy. She had her other baby back, and she wasn't letting go. They could go back home now, as a family. All of them.

But they still had three days left. Plenty of time to throw a goodbye party.

And just enough time to say those last few sad goodbyes.

"It's too bad it had to be such a great 'Goodbye' party," Camille quipped as she and Jo helped the boys tidy up the apartment.

It was their last full day at the Palm Woods. Tomorrow they would be leaving. The 'Goodbye' party had been loads of fun. Even though it symbolized a sad event, everyone had had fun anyway.

After the cake fight and the small farewell gifts and the pool jam session, the boys had said goodbyes to their Palm Woods friends; Guitar Dude, the Jennifers, Stephanie, Tyler, Katie's friend Kyle, Budda Bob, and many others. Even Bitters had come, though he unconvincingly argued it was to give a very happy farewell to the boys, and to make sure they didn't completely destroy 2J. Gustavo and Kelly had, of course, attended as well.

But now the party was over, and it was time for the final two goodbyes. The two hardest goodbyes Logan and Kendall had to make.

"We have always been kinda on again off again," Camille admitted. Logan took the used paper plate from her hand and set it down.

"Camille." He inhaled deeply. He hadn't thought it would be this hard. It was true, what Camille had said. Their relationship had never felt official. They weren't really exclusive like Jo and Kendall. But Logan knew for sure, that, despite the constant break ups and make ups, and the make out sessions when they were supposed to be 'off again', whether or not he felt it right in that moment, at one point or another, he had loved Camille.

And so, accepting those feelings made this that much harder.

"Camille, I never thought I'd fall for the crazy, kooky actress. I might even say you- kinda scared me when we first met. But once I started hanging out with you more, I realized that you're not just completely insane-" Logan's warm smile showed Camille that he was joking. "-But you're also sweet and generous and funny and beautiful."

Camille reached for Logan's hand as he continued.

"And I hate that it's taken me until now to realize how I really feel about you. I really like you, Camille. But...I'm not so sure we can make a long distance relationship work. I mean, who knows, next year I could be going to med school in the next state over, and you could be traveling halfway across the world for a movie." Logan shrugged, suddenly unsure of what to say.

Camille smiled affectionately at him as she took over. "Logan, I know I haven't exactly been perfect girlfriend material, but you and I have always had a...special connection." She said 'special' as though she thought it was funny. "And I've definitely liked you. A lot. And then not liked you. But you've always been so good to me, and I can't express how close I think I've been to falling in love with you. But, to be totally honest, I...I never thought we were meant to be." She paused, smiling hesitantly, as she awaited Logan's reaction.

Logan smiled back. "You know? We probably would have worked out better as really good friends. I don't think I could handle much more slap-kisses." Camille laughed, and he found joining in irresistible.

A comfortable silence settled between them as their laughter died down and they gazed into each other's eyes. They both leaned in, and their lips met, and they melded into one.

It was Logan's favourite kiss, by far. Passion erupted and he could feel it tingling down his spine. But then it was over.

Logan had hardly pulled back when he heard the smack! and felt the sharp sting in his cheek. But for once, he didn't mind.

Camille chuckled cutely and pulled Logan in for one final, quick peck.

"That one's for the road," she said suavely, and turned with a sparkle in her eyes and bounded from the apartment without another word.

Logan watched her go as he unconsciously lifted a hand to his cheek. He stared at the door where she had just been for a minute, until he felt the smile creep slowly across his face.

"Man, I'm gonna miss that girl."

"I know this sounds really cheesy, but I guess it was just meant to be this way." Jo smiled sadly as she gazed up at Kendall. His green eyes met hers, but they lacked the sparkle they were usually brightened with whenever he was with Jo. This was so hard, for both of them.

"I wasn't going to go to New Zealand with you in jail. It'd be like I was abandoning you. But you're out now, and you're leaving, too. And this is the proper goodbye I wanted. I can go now, knowing that we had our goodbye kiss."

Kendall held her close when she finished speaking. He just wanted to hold her here, in silence, for a while, before they made the goodbye final. Just wanted one more private moment with her before he left. Before she moved on, to New Zealand, for a huge movie deal she'd just been offered. Before they parted, possibly forever.

"You call me as soon as you get back from New Zealand," Kendall whispered into her soft hair. He felt Jo nod.

"Of course. Even after three years, I know I'll still love you."

Kendall pulled back so he could look into Jo's lovely eyes once again. "I will always love you, too. No matter what. No matter how much distance is between us, no matter how much time passes. You were my first love, Jo. I'll never forget that."

A solitary tear trailed down Jo's cheek as her smile grew sadder, and Kendall, hating to see that pain, desperately not wanting to feel that pain, pulled her in for a kiss.

Their last kiss. Their goodbye kiss. The kiss whose trace would forever remain on Kendall's lips.

At least, until he saw her again.

"Well, that's the last of 'em." Logan exhaled and stretched his arms over his head after loading the last of his suitcases into the cab. They were officially loaded up and ready to leave.

Jennifer and Brooke slid into the backseat of their cab, allowing the boys a final moment at the entrance of the Palm Woods.

It was early; the sun was still just rising, and it cast a beautiful orange-pink glow on the palm trees that lined the walkway to the front doors of the hotel the boys once called their home. They'd never seen the Palm Woods look so quiet and peaceful and inviting. But it wasn't their home anymore. It was soon to be just a memory. A memory of all the great times the guys had had in there. A memory of all the amazing people they'd meet while residing there.

A happy memory.

Carlos broke the long silence with a soft sigh. "Well, this is it. Our last glimpse at the best place in the world."

Logan smiled fondly at his friends. "For now."

"You think if we stare at it long enough it'll just fade away?" James mumbled rhetorically.

"No." Kendall shook his head, smiling. "No, it'll never be gone. None if it. But staring at it will just make this even harder. What we need to do now is get in the cab and not look back."

So they slowly turned away from the place they had once called their home. They got into the cabs. And they did look back. Of course they did. And even on the plane home to Minnesota, they continued looking back. Back on all the memories, the good and the not so good. Back on the friendships and the album and the tour and the romance and the lounging by the pool. The little fights, the bigger fights, the hard times and everything else.

These memories- those were what the boys got to keep. The only thing they could take home with them. And they were going to cherish those memories forever.

And nothing was going to change that.

Six months later

"So Carlos, you say you're officially nightmare-free."

"Yup," Carlos chirped happily. "Haven't had one in weeks. In fact, I'm not even scared to think about it anymore. But I still try not to do that," he added, earning a light chuckle.

"That is fantastic! I'm very pleased with the progress you've made."

Carlos beamed, then turned to his friend as the psychiatrist addressed him.

"And how about you, James?"

"Well, I don't feel like crying every time I see you."

Dr. Gilbert laughed, shaking her brunette head in amusement. She really loved these boys.

"I think that was only the first session."

James grinned. "I'm just glad you weren't offended."

"I understood perfectly. Now, how about you? Still having the dreams?"

James lowered his eyes as he nodded. Even after five and a half months of therapy-this time, from a trustworthy doctor, with his best friend and mother or sometimes father by his side- the dreams were still haunting his sleep. He was definitely getting better- they only occurred on average one night every other week. Way better than every night, like he'd had them for the first week they'd been back in Minnesota.

For the first couple of weeks after returning home, James had been a mess. He was torn with the decision of whether or not to go to therapy. He so desperately wanted to, to stop the nightmares, to help him heal from the PTSD of his last therapy sessions. But that was just it. The PTSD was preventing him from willingly stepping foot into another office, with another psychiatric doctor. But he'd been losing so much sleep that he'd finally made the decision. He figured that therapy couldn't make him any worse. Besides, his parents had promised to take turns going to every other session. They'd even gone together a couple of times. And one of Carlos' parents was always there as well. It made them feel very comfortable.

James' first session he'd been terrified, even though Carlos had been with him. They'd decided to go together, seeing as Carlos, too, was still having awful, vivid flashbacks. Carlos had been more than weary upon approaching their first session, but at least he hadn't hyperventilated in the waiting area like James had.

But they'd gotten through it, together, along with the help of their parents, who also attended every session. Now, both boys were extremely glad they were getting the help they knew they needed. Maybe they'd never be quite the same, never completely lose the gut-twisting fear whenever they saw a gun on TV. They'd always remember, always have something that reminded them, something that triggered those recollections. But the fear was dulled now. Smaller. Less effective. And it was all thanks to Dr. Gilbert. She truly was an amazing woman.

"I mean, they're definitely less severe," James explained. "Less frequent. Not so gruesome. I can always go right back to sleep after and not have it again." He paused, thinking. "It's just that I never really know when to expect one. So they always kinda through me for a loop. But I don't freak out anymore. I just have the dream, wake up, and forget about it. Other than that, I...I'm feeling good. Real good."

Dr. Gilbert smiled. These boys had come so far, both of them. "I am so glad to hear that. You're only making more and more progress as we go along. And you're making it quickly, believe it or not. Both of you have done exceptionally well so far. And with that, this session is over. Any last concerns or questions?"

Carlos shook his head, but James smiled slyly at the pretty, young therapist. "Actually, I have a major concern."

Dr. Gilbert nodded, worried. "Uh oh. What is it?"

"Well," James started in a low, suave voice. He waggled his eyebrows as he spoke. "We've been at this for almost six months, and I still don't have your number. My concern here is for your well-being."

"James!" Brooke scolded her son lightly, nudging him, while Carlos cracked up. How typical of his friend.

Dr. Gilbert laughed, too. She showed James her left hand. "Have you forgotten that I'm engaged, James?"

"I'm a wishful thinker."

Dr. Gilbert chuckled once again. "You boys are too much. I'll see you next week. And yes James, I'll still be engaged then."

The boys and their parents thanked her, and were on their way.

"Are we all sleeping at Kendall's?" Carlos asked his friend.

James nodded. "Yep. He said to be there at four."

"Awesome! See you in a few hours, buddy."

"Bye."

James smiled to himself as he got into the van with his mom. Hockey and a movie marathon-sleepover at Kendall's. They'd been having them every month since they'd been back. It felt so normal. It was normal. It didn't matter that the four best friends were no longer making music together. Because they were together almost every day, anyway. And that was what really made them happy.

James turned to his mom when he felt her squeeze his hand. Eyes still on the road, Brooke smiled.

"I'm so proud of you, James. You're doing great. It was very responsible of you to make this decision. I just want you to know that I'm always going to be right here. I love you."

James let his eyes fall shut as he leaned his head back. His smile grew. "I know, Mom. You don't need to remind me. I love you too. And...thanks."

This was all he needed. Family and friends. Los Angeles or Minnesota, as long as he was with the people he loved, he was home.

James groaned and buried his head under his pillow. Didn't whoever was at the door understand that normal people like to sleep past 8:30 on the weekend?

James stretched out on Kendall's couch. Now he knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. James sighed. And he'd been having such a good dream.

The knocking continued. Finally James couldn't take it anymore. He lifted his head to throw his pillow at Kendall when he saw that Logan had just done so.

"Kendall!" the smart boy hissed.

Kendall must've forgotten he wasn't in his bed, and that his couch was much narrower. He rolled over and onto the ground, earning a yelp from Carlos when he was landed on.

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Kendall grumbled, pushing himself back up into a sitting position on the couch. He moved his gaze to glare at Logan, looking annoyed. "What? !"

"Someone's knocking," Logan informed.

Now Kendall groaned. "Seriously?"

"Did you not hear the knocking?" James questioned, tiredness evident in his voice.

The boys paused for a second. The knocking sounded again.

"Ugh, it's hardly nine. Who the heck would be here?"

"Carlos, did you try to order a pizza for breakfast again?"

"Hey, I was just as surprised when it came as you were!"

"Just go answer the door, Logan."

"Me? This is your house!"

Kendall sighed and slid lazily off the couch."Fine," he grumbled, shuffling slowly toward the door.

"Wait!" Kendall turned at James' cry, confused. The brunette was standing by the couch, clutching his pillow with a look of hopefulness in his hazel eyes.

"The last time we all answered the door here together..."

The other boys groaned. "James. How many times is that now? I'm sorry, but it's not Gustavo."

"I'm not saying it is!" James defended. "But who knows? Maybe someone's desperate and looking for a band to sign. We have experience. We'd be perfect!"

Logan sighed. "Yeah, experience with getting fired three times."

"Face it James, it's probably just my neighbour who got our mail by accident. Like it was the past three times."

"Or a pizza!"

"Carlos..."

James pouted, crossing his arms defiantly across his chest. "Fine. Whatever. But I'm answering with you."

Kendall shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm not making fun of your bed head."

But for once, James didn't care. He wandered over to Kendall by the door, smirking at Logan and Carlos who followed behind him. "Knew you guys couldn't resist."

Kendall reached for the door handle. "This is stupid," he muttered, but his heart fluttered just a bit with hope. James had reacted this way every time someone knocked on any of their doors. He was getting his hopes up. The chance that he was right was so tiny, but then again, so was being chosen by Gustavo in the first place, right?

So maybe it was just his neighbour with their mail. Or maybe it was even a pizza. Could be an annoying early morning salesman. Those odds were more likely.

But however small the chance, there was still the possibility of it being something better. Someone who wanted to take them to the top once again. This could very well literally be the opening of the door to their future.

So the four boys crowded around and held their breath as Kendall swung the door open.

And standing on the other side was a new beginning.

The End

Holy cheese. That's all I could think about while writing this. Just SO cheesy. But that's okay...

Ahem. Umm. I love you guys. Seriously. Everyone who reviewed or even just read a few chapters of this story. Especially those of you who stuck it out with me through quarter yearly updates at one point and plot twists and my novel contest and everything else. I wish I could thank you all personally, but there's just too many of you who made this worth writing. Honestly, I probably would have given up chapters back if it weren't for all the encouraging reviews and PM's and favourites.

So thank you all for making it to the end and for motivating me. I know it was a long journey, but you guys pushed me, and now it's done. At least, Breakdown is. But thanks to all the lovers of my story, I know I am going to be writing more.

So, thank you again, I know I can't stop saying that. It's been a blast and I wish you all the best in your own writing journeys.

RUSHERS FOREVER!