Feudal Affair

I don't own Inuyasha

Chapter VIII

The sun had yet to rise and the morning air was comfortably cool. Songs of the birds played against the eeriness of a still sleeping village. Sesshoumaru had contemplated Kohaku's request weighing the risk. He did not take Sango's threat lightly but Rin deserved so much more than this life to which he'd abandoned her. He didn't want to believe that his absence was making her ill but there was little else to blame for her condition. His presence had always brought her happiness and it only made sense that his absence would cause the opposite. It was the very thing he feared for himself, the despair that her loss would bring.

"You remembered my lord!"

He'd given her a gentle nod. He couldn't help the smile that pulled at the corner of his lips seeing the way she lit up. It had been obvious she wasn't sure if he'd caught the subtle hints about the coming of her sixteenth birthday but he wouldn't have forgotten anyway. There was something ultimately special about the way she reacted on occasions like these. Maybe it was that she knew she would get to spend more time with him than during his occasional visits. He'd cherished them too and looked forward to any time that he could spend with her. In the time that he had known her, every season brought a newness to her. Although Rin still saw Kaede as a grandmother and sought her advice the old woman had long left Rin to her own decisions when she'd turned fourteen. The little girl was growing up and would need to find her own way. He'd watched her untie the silk ribbon binding the material revealing a bracelet of rare stones and shells. She'd immediately donned the piece holding it out in admiration before embracing him. He'd returned the embrace only to feel that something between them had changed. She'd addressed him with something that felt more cordial in nature. Rin held herself with a certain poise, patience, and calm that hadn't been there a year ago.

"Will we be taking our usual walk today?"

"No. There's something else I wish to show you."

He'd nearly paused as she'd slipped her arm through his to let him escort her. He'd just as quickly assumed she might have skipped ahead or teased playfully by guessing where he might lead her. He'd kept a steady pace as he always had and she seemed to be in step without an ounce of hesitation. She'd walked with him quietly, patiently as they met Ah-Un. The two-headed dragon didn't fail to greet her as they usually did. She patted them along their noses with an easy "I've missed you too." He'd helped her onto the saddle as he'd done so many times in the past before taking the reigns himself and leading them off into a flight. Even though he couldn't see her face as they rode, he could see the lift of her cheeks that let him know she was still smiling.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

She was curious but not impatient as to see the surprise that he had planned for her. As they flew over the waters of the ocean he watched her lean her head back, nearly against his chest as she took in the breeze that blew through her hair and caressed her skin. Even as they came to a stop she'd waited.

"Look toward the water."

Rin leaned to see beyond their two-headed companion to the calm water. He'd remembered how she'd smiled looking back at him, surprised to see the pattern of lilies floating there. He'd been a bit annoyed as Jaken surfaced in the middle of it all attempting to swim out of view. Yet something about seeing their other companion in the midst of it all made it more entertaining. She'd bitten her lip attempting not to giggle at the oddity but it escaped her anyway, and the sound of it warmed him.

They'd spent the rest of their evening together enjoying the serenity of the beach. He'd listened to her speak of her experiences in the village but she would always return to the adventures of that year that she traveled with him. No matter how many times he heard the stories there was always something new that he learned. The times that he'd left her with Jaken or on her own had been the moments that she'd created her many songs, mostly about him. He realized it was why Jaken seemed to pick up humming tunes that he knew nothing about. He inwardly cringed at any recollections that she had of being captured by Naraku, running away from the wolves, or any times he'd had to take her into battle with him. Yet she'd found the silver lining in all of them never shying away from the fact that they'd managed to overcome every trial. That he'd saved her no matter what danger loomed. The sunset brought her to rest her head against his shoulder. She'd never really made the gesture before. When she was a child she'd leaned against him during storms or when she was afraid. Sometimes she would tuck herself under the fur to keep warm. Yet, there was no need for it now. She simply wanted it this way, to be close to him.

"Sesshoumaru."

He could never forget the ring in her voice. The hopeful sound escaping. He would never be able to forget the way she'd asked.

"When will I be able to return to your side?"

It wasn't a question he was prepared to answer in the moment. He would never forget the response that would leave them both questioning a future that may never be.

"When it's safe."

It had been the only answer that he could give her. He'd half expected her to ask when that might be but she'd left it alone. She'd simply sighed and continued watching the sunset as if it was enough. He'd assumed that might be the end of it and yet he felt compelled to visit more often. He was drawn to her in a way that he hadn't been before. He'd told himself it was an attempt to keep her happy only to create a deeper connection. Their time spent together gradually became more intimate sharing deeper thoughts and finding physical space more void. Their growing affection only left him in a place of conflict that would eventually push her toward Kohaku despite her true wishes.

The emptiness of the hut aside from Rin allowed him to explore the relaxed state of her sleeping face.

Rin opened her eyes as she felt a gentle caress of her cheek, bringing a strand of hair away from her face. She'd expected Kohaku's smile instead she was met with the gentleness of golden eyes. She could feel the tears building and emotions starting to overwhelm her. She hugged him as he pulled her into the embrace without questioning the outburst. He hugged her tighter to try and still her body against his own. This wasn't the situation that either of them wanted. It never was.

"Why'd you come back?! I told you to leave!" He could hear the conflict and frustration through her sobs.

"I love you." He lifted her chin to kiss her.

She quieted as she looked into his eyes. A realization donning on her ending the moment as she looked around them.

"Where's Kohaku?"

"He left when I arrived this morning. He asked me to tell you that he'd be back by sunset."

"He never leaves without telling me...Wait! He knows you're here?!"

"Kohaku came to me."

"Why?"

"He told me you weren't doing well."

"..."

"Is that true? Was your illness caused by me not being with you?"

"I..." She didn't want to put the blame on him yet he needed to know. "Every time I thought about you, not having you with me I felt like I was in a panic. Like nothing was as it was supposed to be. In those moments I felt like I couldn't breathe, or think, or feel. My heart would race and I just felt numb. The longer you were away, the worse it got."

"So Kohaku was right."

"If Kohaku came to you, do you think that he knows what we...?"

"He knows how I feel about you. But he's either unsure or denying your feelings for me."

"How am I supposed to tell him? I don't even know where to start."

"There's no easy way but you have to tell him the truth. It's possible that knowing what he knows already may mean he's ready to hear it."

"Even so, I'm afraid there's something else..."

"Sango will no longer be a threat if he knows."

"No. It's not that."

He watched her eyes drift from his, meeting the floor before taking his hand in hers and placed it against her stomach. She hesitated before finding his face again. His expression was what she'd expected, a mix of uncertainty. He was no doubt attempting to answer the same question she would inevitably ask. "I don't know. Can you tell if he's yours?"

Sesshoumaru allowed his hand to shift over her stomach feeling for an aura. Surely if the child was Kohaku's it would prevent them from being together for the sake of the child. If the child was his, the moment the baby was born both Rin's and the infant's life would be at risk again and yet it would also free her. He knew what Rin wanted but the possibility was at best limited. He was always aware of when Rin's scent was different, and no matter how much it drove him to satisfy his own needs, the presence of a half-demon would have revealed what was to remain hidden.

A/N: What to do? :)