Spirits, she was a bombshell.
She had it all; enticing blue asari skin, subtle makeup, big pouty lips, a big heaving bosom that you just wanted to lose yourself in, curves and hips that promised the deepest, wildest ride of your life and legs that stretched from here to the Traverse with an ass that could deflect mass accelerator fire. She was the type of woman that could make even a keeper stop in its tracks and lift its jaw up from the floor. The galaxy's gift to all men and women everywhere.
If you went for that sort of thing.
I didn't.
My woman, sweet Pia, is flat and nerdy. She could also shoot a charging krogan's knees right from under him and fly a cargo hauler like it was a racing aircar. My partner in crime. Or crime solving, as it were.
"Mister Casvius," she said, her voice like Thessian silk, "I need you to do something for me."
See, the only reason the blue busty beauty came into my office was because she was looking for her rich big-shot husband, some salarian by the name of Lucky Bastard. Said he'd gone missing during Samhain or Krampusnacht and she wanted to confirm he was dead for insurance purposes. The Gaians might have been ok with whatever freaky shit happened on those two nights, but the Cit authorities weren't. So our asari bombshell, who went by Mrs. Bayora in case you weren't wondering, wanted to get some evidence that he was actually dead and gone and finally claim his estate. What a bitch.
Pia glanced at me and I glanced at her, then I glanced back at big blue boobs just in time to catch some nice cleave action, then I glanced back at Pia.
Frankly, Samhain and Krampusnacht were the reason me and Pia and the rest of the crew were thinking of leaving the business. We'd rather forget all of that and go somewhere else and hide our sorry faces from the rest of the galaxy. From the shame and from the nightmares.
We said as much, well, I didn't exactly say that. Didn't want to look like a coward in front of my girl, a man has to keep up some sort of reputation, but then the asari heiress put a credit figure on the table.
Me and Pia aren't greedy people, neither are any of my crew. We'd sometimes take jobs for free if we thought the case was good enough. Like the time we busted that batarian sex slave ring. On the house. But like I mentioned, we all wanted out. And the amount of money this asari was putting on the table was enough to set us all up for life.
My father's voice rang in my head. "If a drop dead gorgeous woman offers you a lot of money to do something for her, you do it!" My father was an idiot and got himself killed by his asari mistress.
But I didn't have any asari mistresses.
We took the job then and there.
We told the crew about the job, though we made sure that they understood something important; if they wanted to sit this one out they could. If it came down to it, me and Pia would do the jobs ourselves. Either way they'd get their share of the reward. Nargon, the big ol' nut, agreed immediately, said Vaul's vigilance was eternal, that a true krogan never lets evil escape his sight. Detius hesitated but eventually agreed to come on with us. I was relieved that he did, he was the only one of us who really knew how to clean a wound and stitch us back up; crazy bastard once ejected a heat sink right into a bullet wound I had, sterilizing the wound, cauterizing it and plugging it up all in one go. No expensive medical kits required.
Florilea took up our offer and sat this one out. I didn't blame her. She was the one that got snatched by those things. Still had the bite marks on her arm. Pia took her aside and had a quick talk with her. They were the only two girls on our crew, so they had a special bond us men couldn't understand. Pia gave her the keys to our place and told her to stay there until her brother came back from whatever case he was on. Since our business was often dangerous, even without all this spooky magic nonsense the Gaians were shitting all over the galaxy, there was always a chance some of us wouldn't come back. Florilea would get everyone's cut of the reward to either keep or, in Detius' case, pass on to our family.
After that, we set off.
Well actually, we didn't.
What we did instead is spend two days filling out the necessary paperwork required to travel into Gaian Protectorate space. That means passports, going through customs, firearm permits, getting the Cit authorities to talk to the Gaian ones authorizing our status as private investigators in their space.
And finally a four hour wait in line outside the Mass Relay that led into Protectorate space.
So here I was, sitting up on the bridge with Pia by my side. The doors were locked and Pia was demonstrating her magic hands.
"How long do you think this'll last?" Pia asked me.
"Soon." I said. "Use both-"
"Incoming transmission."
"Finally." Pia exclaimed, letting go of me and putting her hands to use on that keyboard. Damn keyboard. Damn border patrol. "This is Captain Canipia of the Detective Maiden," she began, shooting me a look.
"And this is Detective Casvius," I replied.
Huh. No response.
I got interrupted for this?
"Yes, Detective Maiden. You are cleared for travel into Gaian Protectorate space. The Citadel Travel Advisory would like to remind you…"
I started tuning out. Frankly I didn't want to hear the voice of whatever Asari was on the other end of that intercom. Firstly, she interrupted me and Pia's happy time. Secondly, she sounded so boring. There she was, aboard that awesome space station that oversaw the border between civilized space and the wild Gaian magic monster world and what was she doing? Giving me some boring travel advisory information..
Interstellar travel had never been so boring.
Actually, that stuff about mass effect travel is probably important.
"Is there any list of suitable discharge worlds?" My better half asked. Thankfully her mind wasn't still half muddled with sexy thoughts.
Oh no.
Does that mean I am a bad lover?
"The Gaian Protectorate does not use mass effect travel," the asari began, telling us something that we already knew. "And the Gaian Protectorate is making no real efforts to active Mass Relays within their territory. I understand you may need to travel outside of the Carcosa system while you investigate your case but I cannot provide any further information at this time. You will have to contact Gaian authorities yourself for more information."
"Thanks," Pia said.
"Shit," I mumbled. Hopefully the salarian was still on Lluvia or the nearby solar systems.
"You are now cleared for Mass Relay travel," the asari said before cutting off. A pop up appeared on our screen, flight directions for Relay travel.
I flicked on the ship wide intercom with my talon, "This is Cas," I began. "Prepare for Relay travel."
Pia rolled her eyes at me.
The crew didn't have to "prepare for Relay travel", for the most part space travel at sublight speeds was imperceptibly different from faster than light.
But it always sounded cool.
I watched as the giant Prothean relic grew to dominate the bridge window. These things always impressed me, how could they not? These things were massive, nigh indestructible and held so much element zero that they could make time, space and the laws of relativity bend over like an asari. Thousands of light years in an instant. The corner stone of all of galactic civilization.
I always wondered if we'd ever figure out how to make our own.
The element zero core flared as we approached, I could almost see a few of the stars ahead of us bend and warp as the Relay did its thing, building a path of massless space for us. An amazing feat of mastery over time and space itself.
All to help me find a missing husband and settle a will dispute.
One second there was nothing ahead of us.
The next there were golden saucers, Carcosa Station and Lluvia.
And somewhere in there was the lucky salarian that got to see Mrs. Bayora naked.
And I was getting paid to drag his corpse back to Citadel space.
"You are not authorized. You are not authorized."
I stared at the damn robot in front of me. These things always gave me the creeps. The Gaians had a freakish tolerance for AIs and robots. While I had been assured that these robot cops weren't AIs but just amazingly sophisticated law enforcement drones I still felt a twitching in my fringe whenever I was around one.
"I am Detective Casvius," I began, bringing up my omni-tool and flashing my credentials along with all the other paperwork I had been handed by Jeniz. "This is my partner, Detective Canipia," I added, introducing my one and only. "I have been cleared by your superiors to investigate Dr. Bayora's residence."
The robot stared at my credentials; at least I assume it did. It didn't have a face.
"Verifying. Verifying."
I looked around the hallway while it did, noting a few more of the things stationed outside other apartments down the hall. More missing people. Samhain had vanished around twenty people and Krampusnacht made off with a few dozen. All things considered, more people vanished each year in some of the other border worlds. Colonies near Hegemony space sometimes "disappeared" entirely under "unexplained" circumstances that had absolutely nothing to do with Hegemonic slaving rings. And frankly, the lucrative trade opportunities still attracted more and more Citadel species to this planet.
Still, the way the Protectorate had handled the disappearances hadn't won them any goodwill.
"You are authorized. You are authorized."
The machine cop turned around and unlocked the door for us, Canipia walked in backwards, her eyes never straying way from the thing. She trusted the things less than I did.
"Well Boss, I think we can rule out those two nights." Pia said, pointing above the front door. I followed her finger and saw those weird glowing "wards" the Gaians put over everything.
"Maybe," I mumbled. "You," I said to the machine, "are these wards still functional?" I had no clue how to check, no one in Citadel space did. For all I knew these things did absolutely nothing and were just a scam for us filthy foreigners.
"These wards were crafted by a certified guild. They hold enough charge for the next five years."
"When people disappeared a while ago," Pia voiced my thoughts, "They were either outside or inside wardless buildings."
"Let's not rule out anything yet," I replied before heading further into the apartment, "Why don't you talk to the house VI while I look around?" Pia nodded and headed off to the house VI terminal, her omni-tool flaring to life as she flashed her credentials. Meanwhile I started the traditional detective work – snooping. Time to see if this guy had any nudes of his wife lying around. Not likely though, salarians were crazy frigid.
I hope against hope.
The guy's living room was dominated by a giant screen hooked up to some amazing sound systems. That was top of the line stuff that was. Everything in here screamed money. I bet if I sat down my ass would shoot up in value just because it had touched an authentic Thessian biotic couch. Shit, the living room table was one of those smart tables with a built in VI using mass effect fields to move objects placed on it into artistic arrangements. There was a vase of flowers, all of which were probably more valuable than my own life insurance, surrounded by several datapads that slowly circled around it. Datapads. Only idiots buy these. Oh look, all of these are Armali Council brand. That explains it. I approached the table and made to pick one up, the table's VI raising them up so that I wouldn't have to bend down. Neat. There wasn't anything useful on these things; a bunch of newsletters, a subscription to some academic journals and a few reading books. Though a lot of these were related to things in the medical field. Made sense, Mrs. Bayora had told me that Dr. Missing was some sort of bleeding edge medical expert. Came here to study Gaian medical technologies.
He was probably after their resurrection technology.
Him and the rest of the galaxy.
Couldn't blame them. The Gaian "Anima Wells" are the second most sought after piece of technology in the galaxy right now, right after their FTL method.
All in all though, the place was very neat and tidy. Doesn't look like there was a struggle. My omni-tool wasn't picking up anything, no traces of blood or chemicals.
"Boss," I heard Pia call out to me from the VI terminal. "Our missing man wasn't home on Samhain, the VI logs him leaving home at 5:37 PM. But he came home the next day at 7: 25 AM."
I mulled that information over. "Mmmh, does the VI know where he went?"
She shook her head, "Sorry Boss, but no. The VI's predictive system only notes that it wasn't a regular trip he made. He usually left in the early mornings and came back in the late afternoons. The boy's social life was pretty dull, he rarely went out and never all night. But that's when he bought those wards up there," she pointed back the glowing runes she'd pointed out earlier, "and he stayed home all day on Krampusnacht along with two other people."
"Friends?" I asked, "Does the VI have a recording we can see?"
Pia did her magic and boom. Security feed. There's our guy along with two Gaians. Humans. Our man looked nervous and jittery, the humans not so much. One of them was wearing a nametag from the nearby medical center.
"Well, thankfully we can rule out those two nights," I breathed, Pia nodding in agreement.
"The VI did pick something up though," my lady love continued, "These two guys showed up more and more after that day. This guy here," she pointed at the guy without a nametag, "was the last person to see our missing friend."
Huh.
"Robot," I snapped my fingers, the thing turning to look at me from outside the doorway. Technically the thing was a certified police officer, but I didn't give a damn. "Hey you. When the police came in to investigate this, did they pull this image from the VI?"
It looked at the image displayed for a second or two before answering. "Yes, both men are currently suspects in the disappearance of Olik Bayora. The individual wearing the LlMRC nametag is one Ricardo Pillar, the other has been identified as Steven Smith. He is unaccounted for."
Our first clue. Home VIs made detective work so easy! It's like the credits were just walking into my bank account.
Time to delegate.
"Pia, get this-"
"Got it Boss." Ah sweet Pia, you know me so well. You already knew what I was going to ask you to do. It's so obvious that I won't even think about it anymore.
Instead, I brought up my omni-tool as I headed towards the salarian's bedroom. Nothing out of the ordinary here. A few pairs of clothes, Salarian high fashion. Never understood what that plastic handle across the chest is for. Lab coat for LlMRC along with a name tag. A few more datapads. Small picture of Mrs. Bayora. Well, that's evidence and I'm confiscating it.
Oh hello. Desktop computer. I walked over to it, turned it on and and gave it the cyber equivalent of a handshake, my omni-tool's police scanner bypassing the initial login password. Luckily these were all Cit computers. Had they been Gaian made my software wouldn't have worked on them. Luckily it looks like his extranet email is… yup. Auto-login. He probably left it logged in since it's his personal computer, no one would have gotten past the login screen. And he would have been right if not for the Cyber Investigative Act.
Democracy. Where we vote to take away your right to privacy.
Lots of emails between our missing man and what looked like several colleagues. RE: Hemamancers?, RE:RE:RE: Surgery Options, FW: Human-Asari Biology, CC: Security Update. Looked like pretty standard stuff for a medical community. Some spam email and…
Well, this one was interesting.
ss09 on 1.31.3471 said:
We'll move you tonight.
ss09? Steven Smith?
Mysterious email, mysterious disappearance, last seen with the victim.
"This is Nargon."
"Narg," I am incredibly lucky that all of my close friends' names can be shortened so easily. "I'm here with Pia at the salarian's place. Are you at the police station?"
"I am," the giant lizard's voice boomed through my omni-tool as I continued browsing through the computer. "I like the cops here," he chuckled. "They do not cower before the footsteps of a krogan warrior. They are kind and respectful to me. They are unlike C-Sec."
If I didn't know better it sounded like Narg was actually enjoying his time at a police station. For a change.
"Wonderful," I said. I even meant it too. Jobs always go easier when the cops are on our side. "What have you learned?"
My old buddy started reading over the police reports. He ended up saying some stuff that I already knew, but also gave me something new. He read me Pillar's statement. The man claimed to have struck up a friendship with Bayora while at LlMRC. He claimed that the other guy, Smith, was a mutual acquaintance, some new hire at the same place that both of them got along with but weren't particularly close with.
So, either Pillar and Smith were both accomplices and Pillar was selling his buddy out or… well, he could have just been what he says he is. Just some guy with terrible luck putting him right at the heart of a missing person case.
"There's something else too," Narg went on. "There's someone here who is also checking on the case."
"Some sort of police detective?" I asked. I always hated working with real detectives. They made me feel inadequate.
"Yes and no. He's some special agent the Protectorate sent out. He is displeased that the local enforcement hasn't solved this case yet. He overhead me asking about the case and-"
"You talked to him yet?" I asked. "Maybe we can team up. It'll be easier for us." Plus, Gaians apparently can't die, so if we got into a shooty situation we can throw this special agent hotshot in front of all the bullets. I'm sure Narg would appreciate the short vacation.
"Yes I would."
New voice.
"I'm assuming this is the special agent my partner talked about?" I asked, finding several more emails between Bayora and ss09.
"Templar Klein," the voice answered. "I have a proposition for you."
I'd heard of the Templars. Some sort of super big shots with the Gaians. I made my way back to the living room and motioned Pia over, who was moving around the room looking for anything that I had overlooked. "Excuse me Templar," I said, not knowing how to address the guy. "Would you mind if I involved my entire team in this call? I run my investigations with my entire team present."
"Of course, Templars understand unity."
"Who's that?" Pia asked quietly.
"Some sort of Gaian special agent," I responded, calling up Detius and adding him to the call.
"Hey Cas what's with the group chat? I'm here at the research center. Pia told me to-"
"Right," I cut him off, "I've got Templar Klein on the line," heh, "said he might be able to help us out."
"A pleasure." The Templar replied over my omni tool, "As I was explaining to your krogan associate here, I was sent to investigate the disappearance of Dr. Bayora after local enforcement agencies were deemed inadequate for the job."
I looked at Pia at that. It seemed to me that the local cops were more than adequate. Most of the things we learned were already in the police report.
"It seems that our goals are one and the same. I am here to discern the whereabouts for Dr. Bayora and, hopefully, return him safe and sound to the proper authorities. You…"
He trailed off, and I realized he was letting me talk.
"We're here to bring him back… preferably dead." Oh, that sounded bad. "At least, his wife seems to think he's dead, and she wants to settle a legal dispute."
"Then cooperation would be copacetic." The man continued. "And if it indeed comes to pass that Dr. Bayora is still with the living, fear not. The Templars reward our allies, and I can promise you a nice sum of money. Citadel credits, of course. I suspect that Mrs. Bayora would not do the same were Dr. Bayora alive to claim his estate."
Well, he has me there. Curvy and Busty didn't exactly seem like the type of woman to welcome her husband back with open bosom, especially if he kept her out of reach of all his money. And while it wasn't flat out said she was paying us a ton of money to "verify" his death. We would never do such a thing, my own crew would sooner shoot me for killing an innocent man for money. While I was sure our contract with Mrs. Bayora would guarantee payment in either case, I'm sure someone she could make it difficult for us to collect our pay if things didn't go her way.
"What do you gain from this?" I asked.
"A fine question." The Templar responded, I could almost hear him smile. "The Protectorate, and the Templars, wish to prove ourselves valuable allies. I understand that, if we are to work together, I would be the first Templar to work an investigation alongside Citadel authorities. We would be making history and I would gain valuable experience working alongside your people."
"How much are you paying?" Pia asked. Right on the money.
"Of course we can discuss payment. Ten thousand now," the man responded, his voice still friendly, "and another ten thousand for each of your associates upon completion of the case. Fifty thousand in total."
"Sixty thousand , actually." Pia responded, "One of our crew members couldn't come with us on this mission, but we promised her a share of the payment."
Good thinking Pia, can't forget about sweet Florilea. Though this guy might not take kindly to the increase in cash. He might think we're lying just to get more money out of him.
"Sixty thousand is fine. To reiterate, you will be paid ten thousand up front and an additional ten thousand for each of your crew, all five of them. Whether I pay out of pocket or expense the costs to the Templars, you will be paid. I guarantee this. Mind you, this will only be the case if Dr. Bayora is indeed alive. I'm sure you will be paid by Dr. Bayora's weeping widow if he were not."
Well, that all sounded win-win to me. If the salarian is dead the blue goddess pays us alot. If he's alive then the Templars pay us alot. Worst case scenario, we only make ten thousand each. Not enough to retire in luxury but enough to get out and maybe find easier jobs. Best case, we get paid double if Blue upholds her contract. Seemed clear cut to me.
"Pia?" I asked, turning over to my sweetheart. "I'd like to hear your opinion love."
"I say we take it Boss," she responded, still keeping up with the professionalism even if I didn't. "We could use the help of the authorities. We've got nothing to lose either."
"We are down a person," Det added. "We could use the extra person to make up for Florilea's absence. Plus, he's a Gaian. I'd feel better knowing we have our own freaky magic person with us. No offense."
"None taken," the Templar replied.
I really needed to teach Det not to say things like that anymore. He always opened his mouth without thinking.
It's why he didn't get the girl like I did.
"I am eager to see a Gaian in combat," Narg cheered.
Well, there it was. Unanimous vote to bring on the special agent cop promising big sums of money.
"Well Templar Klein," I proclaimed, "Looks like my team of wayward detectives are all in agreement. Let's solve this case together."
"Wonderful," the Templar said, and the smack I heard was probably him shaking hands with Narg. "I look forward to meeting you and solving this case."
"Speaking of," Detius began before my omni-tool notified me he was sending an attachement. "I got Smith's file from the center. It's got an address listed and since he seems to be our main guy right now why don't we all take a walk and visit him?"
"An excellent idea, I know the area very well," the Templar continued, no doubt looking at the info on Nargo's omni-tool. "Detectives, if you will?"
"Sounds good," I agreed, "Everyone head to that location and wait for the group to assemble… but keep your distance! We don't want to tip this guy off. That means you Det."
I heard the kid groan. He hates being scolded in front of other people, but it's his own damn fault. He needs to stop being so jumpy. Everyone agreed and the call ended shortly after that. Det promised he'd be careful.
"Well, let's go." Pia said, looking around the place one last time before leading me out the door. Again, she kept her eyes on the robot at the entrance. "What do you think," she began as we started walking down the hall, our rental aircar just outside, "about all this? Hopefully bringing that Templar on board with us will keep us out of major trouble. Might make it easier on us."
"Yeah." I agreed.
"Or make it harder."